Monthly Archives: December 2016

TMZ Outing That George Michael Became A Fat Guy Before He Died Is So Disrespectful

Leave a reply
George Michael's death has become suddenly mysterious, because we've learned the autopsy was inconclusive as to cause of death. Law enforcement says there will be further tests performed to pinpoint why Michael died on Christmas day, in his sleep. We were told earlier the medical examiner would perform toxicology tests. Sources denied there was any evidence Michael OD'd, but it is interesting the autopsy showed no apparent reason why the singer passed. Law enforcement calls the death "unexplained but not suspicious." Michael struggled with drug use for years. He had also gained a tremendous amount of weight in the months leading up to his death.

TMZ- George Michael’s death has become suddenly mysterious, because we’ve learned the autopsy was inconclusive as to cause of death.
Law enforcement says there will be further tests performed to pinpoint why Michael died on Christmas day, in his sleep. We were told earlier the medical examiner would perform toxicology tests.
Sources denied there was any evidence Michael OD’d, but it is interesting the autopsy showed no apparent reason why the singer passed.
Law enforcement calls the death “unexplained but not suspicious.”
Michael struggled with drug use for years. He had also gained a tremendous amount of weight in the months leading up to his death.

Yo what the fuck TMZ, show a little respect for the guy. Guy’s a world renown singer/musical artist, he doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. Not like his funeral was going to be televised across the nation for the world to see his fat self in a casket. I mean honestly the last image I have of the guy is a super hot, awesome flow, British singer who kept in shape with the cross ear rings on. The guy went from this…..

george-95a2eecf-f9d8-4619-a543-6dd62bb9b226

To this….

screen-shot-2016-12-31-at-10-11-47-pm

Such disrespect. Imagine if you had to watch someones funeral and the priest is saying the eulogy. “Here lies so and so. He was beloved by his family and friends and was a monumental impact on the world. He got really fat towards the end.“

Jagr Became Second All Time In Points Last Night

Leave a reply

 

What an achievement. This whole season I’ve been contemplating what the legacy of Jagr should be. After his slow start here I thought he should call it after this season. It feels like the Panthers keep him around just for some media and fan service. Everyday becomes some new achievement just because of his tenure playing how ever many games he’s had and where that places him, but when he finally closes the book on his career he’s probably going to be remembered as a Penguin, not a Panther. But now things kinda changed. Obviously over the past week he’s proves he could still contribute with 4 points in the past 2 games alone (yes I get its a very very tiny sample size), but now he moves into second all time in NHL points. The only one above him being Gretzky’s point total which definitely will never be touched. So now it’s almost as if Jagr is at the very top in NHL lore. He’s a guy that played through the eras and achieved such an insurmountable point total wearing a Panther jersey. Maybe he will be remembered only as a Penguin for winning those cups, but as of now he’s still playing, and as much as we seem to be running though quick sand, he’s not stopping. That alone is keeping the dream alive that we’ll one day soon, win the cup, and if Jagr’s name is engraved in the cup one more time, then his time as a Panther definitely will be a large part of his legacy.

P.s- Gretzky’s point total is so ridiculous. I have no idea when Jagr will stop, but if they legalize the use of HGH, then Jagr will break it one day.

Jacksonville Woman Sells Positive Pregnancy Test To “Pay For School”

Leave a reply
A pregnant woman in Florida claims she’s making money doing something she has to do anyway ― go to the bathroom. The unidentified woman recently posted an ad on Craigslist saying she is three months pregnant and offering to sell positive pregnancy tests for $25 each ― two for $35 if the customer is traveling more than 60 miles. The ad has since been removed, but a screenshot appears below. The post makes it clear that the woman knows there are lots of potential uses for a positive pregnancy test. But it stresses that she doesn’t care to hear her customers’ particular plans: “Whether you are using it for your own amusement such as a prank, or to blackmail the ceo of where ever who you are having an affair with I DONT CARE AT ALL this is an absolutely no questions asked type of deal tell me what you need I provide it for monetary exchange. I will not overcharge for the urine test but I will not be low balled either do not contact me if you are going to be cheap and difficult.” Jacksonville station WJAX-TV went undercover to contact the woman. An intern met her and handed over a newly purchased pregnancy test. After she’d turned it positive, the reporter appeared to ask questions. The expectant mother agreed to be interviewed as long as she was not identified. “Me being in college, working on a bachelor’s and needing all this money to pay for a degree, this was a no-brainer,” the woman told the station. She added that she can earn about $200 a day urinating.

Huffington Post – A pregnant woman in Florida claims she’s making money doing something she has to do anyway ― go to the bathroom.
The unidentified woman recently posted an ad on Craigslist saying she is three months pregnant and offering to sell positive pregnancy tests for $25 each ― two for $35 if the customer is traveling more than 60 miles.
The ad has since been removed, but a screenshot appears below.
The post makes it clear that the woman knows there are lots of potential uses for a positive pregnancy test. But it stresses that she doesn’t care to hear her customers’ particular plans:
“Whether you are using it for your own amusement such as a prank, or to blackmail the ceo of where ever who you are having an affair with I DONT CARE AT ALL this is an absolutely no questions asked type of deal tell me what you need I provide it for monetary exchange. I will not overcharge for the urine test but I will not be low balled either do not contact me if you are going to be cheap and difficult.”
Jacksonville station WJAX-TV went undercover to contact the woman. An intern met her and handed over a newly purchased pregnancy test. After she’d turned it positive, the reporter appeared to ask questions. The expectant mother agreed to be interviewed as long as she was not identified.
“Me being in college, working on a bachelor’s and needing all this money to pay for a degree, this was a no-brainer,” the woman told the station. She added that she can earn about $200 a day urinating.

What a devious move this is huh? I never want to knock the spirit of the American hustle but I also think it’s sheisty as fuck to trick guys into thinking they’re going to become a father/about to have a million more responsibilities in life. Like yea girl if you want to use your body to make money in what ever way shape or form go for it. Sell blood, harvest an organ in Mexico, sell eggs if that’s a thing. But none of those things are potentially and probably going to be used to swindle a boyfriend into thinking he’s about to lose his entire life of freedom because of one mistake. And yea sure just as a prank that could be fine but theres a ton of chance its going to be used to trick dudes into thinking they’re going to become a father. This is not some Spencer gifts type joke pregnancy test that you could buy at the mall that looks comically fake and pops out confetti. Its like a real life pregnancy test with pregnancy piss all over the thing and a giant “+” on it.  Besides it’s not like shes raking in hundreds of thousands. Its like 25 bucks. Morally that can’t be kosher right? To potentially black mail people at the low low cost of 25 bucks? Just not worth it.

Finding A Snake In A Christmas True Would Ruin The Holiday For Me Forever

Leave a reply

 

Yo Cheryl, fuck this snake. It’s crawling in your fuck Christmas tree. If you have kids and shit sitting by the tree, it could murk them in a second. And don’t you dare tell me I’m over reacting. She’s under reacting. Fuck all of that “She didn’t panic, she called the snake catcher!” I would panic. You’re suppose to panic. It’s a snake. You know those sneaky devious animals that can strike at fast speeds and has a body that’s entirely muscle and loaded with venom. If I were with this person i would assume she’s praying for a death wish for how nonchalant she seems about a snake. Not to mention the biblical undertones of the whole scenario. Christmas, Christ mas, more Christ, the snake is the devil. All of that nonsense. I don’t want to be branded an animal killer. In almost all scenarios I want them to be free in the wild to do whatever it is they do. But you guys know I will never like snakes. It broke into your domicile, stand your ground and blow it away with a shotgun.

Vinnie Viola Nominated As Secretary Of The Army

Leave a reply
Florida Panthers owner Vinnie Viola has been selected by President-elect Donald Trump to be the new Secretary of the Army subject to Senate confirmation. Viola, a 1977 graduate of West Point, is the founder of Virtu Financial and bought the Panthers in 2013. Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/nhl/florida-panthers/article121729109.html#storylink=cpyTrump and Viola apparently met last week at Trump Tower in New York. “I am proud to have such an incredibly accomplished and selfless individual as Vincent Viola as our Secretary of the Army,” Trump said in a statement. “Whether it is his distinguished military service or highly impressive track record in the world of business, Vinnie has proved throughout his life that he knows how to be a leader and deliver major results in the face of any challenge. “He is a man of outstanding work ethic, integrity, and strategic vision, with an exceptional ability to motivate others. The American people, whether civilian or military, should have great confidence that Vinnie Viola has what it takes to keep America safe and oversee issues of concern to our troops in the Army.” Viola, who founded the Combating Terrorism Center at West Point following the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, says the nomination is a “great honor.” Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/nhl/florida-panthers/article121729109.html#storylink=cpy“If confirmed, I will work tirelessly to provide our president with the land force he will need to accomplish any mission in support of his National Defense Strategy,” Viola said in the release. “A primary focus of my leadership will be ensuring that America's soldiers have the ways and means to fight and win across the full spectrum of conflict. This great honor comes with great responsibility, and I will fight for the American people and their right to live free every day.” Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/nhl/florida-panthers/article121729109.html#storylink=cpyAccording to the Florida Panthers, ownership of the team would remain in the Viola family pending confirmation. Doug Cifu, a partner of Viola’s with the Panthers as well as Virtu Financial, would become chairman and governor of Sunrise Sports and Entertainment. “Our hockey team has always been proud to be part of Mr. Viola’s legacy,” Florida’s Dale Tallon said. “We admire his dedication to his country and are excited to watch him pursue this new endeavor.” Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/nhl/florida-panthers/article121729109.html#storylink=cpySaid Panthers CEO and West Point graduate Matthew Caldwell: “We are honored and humbled to see Mr. Viola nominated as the Secretary of the Army. We could not be more proud for Vinnie and his dedication to our country.” Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/nhl/florida-panthers/article121729109.html#storylink=cpy

Miami Herald – Florida Panthers owner Vinnie Viola has been selected by President-elect Donald Trump to be the new Secretary of the Army subject to Senate confirmation.
Viola, a 1977 graduate of West Point, is the founder of Virtu Financial and bought the Panthers in 2013.
Trump and Viola apparently met last week at Trump Tower in New York.
“I am proud to have such an incredibly accomplished and selfless individual as Vincent Viola as our Secretary of the Army,” Trump said in a statement.
“Whether it is his distinguished military service or highly impressive track record in the world of business, Vinnie has proved throughout his life that he knows how to be a leader and deliver major results in the face of any challenge.
“He is a man of outstanding work ethic, integrity, and strategic vision, with an exceptional ability to motivate others. The American people, whether civilian or military, should have great confidence that Vinnie Viola has what it takes to keep America safe and oversee issues of concern to our troops in the Army.”
Viola, who founded the Combating Terrorism Center at West Point following the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, says the nomination is a “great honor.”
confirmed, I will work tirelessly to provide our president with the land force he will need to accomplish any mission in support of his National Defense Strategy,” Viola said in the release.
“A primary focus of my leadership will be ensuring that America’s soldiers have the ways and means to fight and win across the full spectrum of conflict. This great honor comes with great responsibility, and I will fight for the American people and their right to live free every day.”
According to the Florida Panthers, ownership of the team would remain in the Viola family pending confirmation.
Doug Cifu, a partner of Viola’s with the Panthers as well as Virtu Financial, would become chairman and governor of Sunrise Sports and Entertainment.
“Our hockey team has always been proud to be part of Mr. Viola’s legacy,” Florida’s Dale Tallon said.
“We admire his dedication to his country and are excited to watch him pursue this new endeavor.”
Panthers CEO and West Point graduate Matthew Caldwell: “We are honored and humbled to see Mr. Viola nominated as the Secretary of the Army. We could not be more proud for Vinnie and his dedication to our country.”
Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/nhl/florida-panthers/article121729109.html#storylink=cpy

What a wacky month its been at FLApanthers HQ. Wacky year in general. Fire like 30 people, bring in a new staff, flip the team over to make them totally analytics based, fire the fan favorite coach, become old school hockey enemy number 1, and then have your owner become Secretary of the Army. It’s not crazy by any means given the military background Viola imposes on everything including this team, but just making this season more of a circus act than it already was is just crazy. Stability is something we’ve wanted for a long time and it felt like we had it by the end of last year and now it’s all up in the air again. Like we thought it was bad when Jeffrey Loria steps in mid season to fuck around with the Marlins. Well Vinnie Viola stepped in to mess around with the player personnel, and now President-elect Donald trump stuck his fingers into BB&T center and is messing around with Vinnie Viola. Some how this is gonna trickle down and effect with the players somehow. Wish we could hear Vinnie say he’s rejecting the offer because he’s 100% committed to this South Florida Hockey Franchise, but we just know he’s gonna jump to represent the Army any way possible. It’s like in the guy’s DNA. And who knows how things will change. Shouldn’t be to crazy I don’t think considering everyone in that organization front office is hand picked by Viola so the direction should still be the same but don’t be caught off guard if half the roster is sent to fight in the Syrian Civil War and combat ISIS.

South Beach Lawyer Makes A Porno, Intentionally Leaks It, Blackmails People Who Illegally Watched It, Is Arrested For Blackmail.

Leave a reply
A South Beach lawyer was charged yesterday with operating a massive porn-blackmail scheme, in which he and his cohorts would make their own porn then upload it onto the internet in places they knew it would be illegally downloaded. The feds say that lawyer, John Steele, and his team would then wait for someone to download that porn, and then blackmail them into forking over wads of cash, lest Steele reveal the victim's porn-watching history to the world. According to a federal indictment filed yesterday, Steele — a Minnesota native with a name that sounds suspiciously like a male porn star's — made $6 million from the scheme, working in tandem with his University of Minnesota classmate, Paul Hansmeier. Steele was arrested in Fort Lauderdale earlier today, according to the Minneapolis Star-Tribune. In November 2011, he opened a branch of his law firm, Prenda Law, on 1111 Lincoln Road in Miami Beach. "Between 2011 and 2014, defendants Paul R. Hansmeier and John L. Steele orchestrated an elaborate scheme to fraudulently obtain millions of dollars in copyright lawsuit settlements by deceiving state and federal courts throughout the country," the indictment says. "In order to carry out the scheme, the defendants used sham entities to obtain copyrights to pornographic movies — some of which they filmed themselves — and then uploaded those movies to file-sharing websites in order to lure people to download the movies."

Miami New Times- A South Beach lawyer was charged yesterday with operating a massive porn-blackmail scheme, in which he and his cohorts would make their own porn then upload it onto the internet in places they knew it would be illegally downloaded. The feds say that lawyer, John Steele, and his team would then wait for someone to download that porn, and then blackmail them into forking over wads of cash, lest Steele reveal the victim’s porn-watching history to the world.
According to a federal indictment filed yesterday, Steele — a Minnesota native with a name that sounds suspiciously like a male porn star’s — made $6 million from the scheme, working in tandem with his University of Minnesota classmate, Paul Hansmeier.
Steele was arrested in Fort Lauderdale earlier today, according to the Minneapolis Star-Tribune. In November 2011, he opened a branch of his law firm, Prenda Law, on 1111 Lincoln Road in Miami Beach.
“Between 2011 and 2014, defendants Paul R. Hansmeier and John L. Steele orchestrated an elaborate scheme to fraudulently obtain millions of dollars in copyright lawsuit settlements by deceiving state and federal courts throughout the country,” the indictment says. “In order to carry out the scheme, the defendants used sham entities to obtain copyrights to pornographic movies — some of which they filmed themselves — and then uploaded those movies to file-sharing websites in order to lure people to download the movies.”

First things first, I gotta see this porno. Gotta know this Lawyer’s dick game. It could arguably determine the outcome of his trial. Lawyers are cocky aggressive types. If he slays he’ll probably pay a minor fine. If he has no power in his hips, he might as well be a laughing stock at the next lawyer convention while prepping to retake the bar since this scheme is something out of a weird straight to DVD movie. Is it ridiculous? Absolutely. Do I hate the idea though? Not as much as I should for a failed plan. Sure it lead to his arrest but I feel like law enforcement does this all the time. Like when they set up a sting operation to catch hookers and johns except with a bit of a twist in that it’s a lawyer leaking his own porno and extorting people for millions.  Not even gonna hate on his pick up game though. Such a brilliant pick up line. “Hey honey, lets fuck so we can leak the video on line so when people illegally download it, we can blackmail them for millions.” Sex and money, no chick can turn that down. And we’re not talking like small amount either. 6 MILLION. That’s definitely more than amateur porn stars make. Plus it’s advice from a lawyer which almost 100% of the time means it’s legit. Such a porn star name too “John Steele.” Obviously the legal profession isn’t made for him, but Porn is definitely a possible career path for this guy.

Florida Gets To Be The First State To Have McDonalds Delivery

Leave a reply
IJR- The signing of the Declaration of Independence, the pilgrims landing at Plymouth Rock, the first moon landing — these are all great moments in America's history, moments that have helped define us as a people and a nation. Well, history will smile upon this moment, too, for the long-thought impossible, yet forever dreamed of, is now set to happen. McDonald's is going to start delivering. The announcement is one of several interesting directions the company has taken in recent months. Earlier this year, McDonald's announced that it would respond to mandatory minimum wage hikes by replacing some workers with automation and adding self-serve kiosks for customers. Former McDonald's CEO Ed Rensi told Fox News: “It's cheaper to buy a $35,000 robotic arm than it is to hire an employee who's inefficient making $15 an hour bagging french fries.” The delivery service will be available in Florida via Uber's new UberEats service at first, and based on feedback from Florida customers, McDonald's will make the decision whether or not to expand delivery service to other states. Delivery service is one more step in McDonald's effort to offer customers the “experience of the future,” which includes table service, lattes, and the aformentioned self-serve kiosks, according to CNBC. McDonald's also plans to start letting customers pay with a mobile app sometime next year.

Independent Journal Review– The signing of the Declaration of Independence, the pilgrims landing at Plymouth Rock, the first moon landing — these are all great moments in America’s history, moments that have helped define us as a people and a nation.
Well, history will smile upon this moment, too, for the long-thought impossible, yet forever dreamed of, is now set to happen.
McDonald’s is going to start delivering.
The announcement is one of several interesting directions the company has taken in recent months. Earlier this year, McDonald’s announced that it would respond to mandatory minimum wage hikes by replacing some workers with automation and adding self-serve kiosks for customers.
Former McDonald’s CEO Ed Rensi told Fox News:
“It’s cheaper to buy a $35,000 robotic arm than it is to hire an employee who’s inefficient making $15 an hour bagging french fries.”
The delivery service will be available in Florida via Uber’s new UberEats service at first, and based on feedback from Florida customers, McDonald’s will make the decision whether or not to expand delivery service to other states.
Delivery service is one more step in McDonald’s effort to offer customers the “experience of the future,” which includes table service, lattes, and the aformentioned self-serve kiosks, according to CNBC. McDonald’s also plans to start letting customers pay with a mobile app sometime next year.

Oh shit. Don’t look now but America’s favorite Fast Food Chain just re-invented the wheel and is test driving all over Florida. Never thought I’d see the day. Ever since day 1 of birth all I knew of McDonald’s was a walk in or drive through fast food chain. Perfect system. You drive around the block, order your shit in the comfort of your car and drive off listening to tunes 1 handed while the other hand devours carbs. Then they arguably disrupted the entire world economy when they introduced all day breakfast. I mean that was the pinnacle. What else did you need?  Your option of any burger or breakfast menu item at all hours of the day. Incredible. Do you know how much time has elapsed in the world before an advancement as astronomical as all day breakfast was? Years. I’m talking like landing on the moon, modern cellphones, then McDonald’s all day breakfast. Well they just took it another step forward towards the future. Fucking McDonald’s delivery. And yea i know there’s shit like Seamless and Grubhub already doing that. But those are metropolitan cities that have options for everything to be delivered. It was one food option in the sea of many. We’re talking delivery in Florida. A place where we can now chose to not burn a cup of gas to sit in our car for 10 minutes, drive 3 miles and place an order. Instead we can just do it from the sofa and walk 5 feet to the door. MAGNUM.

This Alabama Shootout Mannequin Challenge Sucked. Oh And They Were All Subsequently Arrested For Gun And Drug Charges

Leave a reply

MADISON COUNTY, Ala. – A “mannequin challenge” video resulted in several arrests after it led local and federal law enforcement to an Alabama home Tuesday morning, according to WHNT.

The “mannequin challenge” internet phenomenon usually consists of a group of people freezing in various poses while a person with a camera walks around them, filming from different angles.

Police say the “mannequin challenge” video that launched the investigation shows numerous people displaying guns, as if re-enacting a drive-by shooting.

Authorities from the Madison County Sheriff’s Office, the Huntsville Police Department and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives executed a warrant at 5012 Powell Drive at 5:02 a.m. on Tuesday.

Authorities arrested 49-year-old Kenneth White and charged him with first-degree possession of marijuana and certain persons forbidden to possess a firearm. He has a bond of $30,000.

“In order to receive the ‘certain persons forbidden to possess a firearm,’ you must be convicted of a felony,” Capt. Mike Salomonsky said.

Hey not to critique the shit out of your viral meme but this sucked. In this day and age where it’s been like 2 weeks since the first Mannequin Challenge video came out you gotta come better than what you brought to the table here. I mean first off where’s the Rae Sremmurd? Pretty sure if its not Black Beatles playing it doesn’t count (To be fair I don’t know who’s in the song background so it could be Rae Sremmurd at least). But listen, have these people not seen what people are coming with these days in these viral videos? Some one got their dog to stay perfectly still like he took it to a Taxidermy to do a Mannequin Challenge. We’ve seen ones done at EDM shows with people rolling face high on molly probably and pretty sure people were in mid air raving their face off perfectly still. I’ve seen one involving only like 3 people and moving around the house behind the cameras in a single take tracking shot that makes Iñárritu look like a film student at a community college. All this one has is guns pointing and standing still. Big whoop. Maybe add some special effects like a CGI bullet flying in the air like its The Matrix. Get some muzzle flash or actually get shot and have a guy bleed out while panning in and out of the bullet wound.

Also I never witnessed a drive by shooting before luckily, but what an absurd shoot out. I mean lets check the all 22.

screen-shot-2016-12-07-at-1-51-30-pm

Never seen a move like this in my life but it’s genius. All drive by’s you see in movies have the guy right where they expect him. Not this guy. Fucking tucked be hind the back wheels of a convertible. Pretty smart until the wheel gets shot out and the immediate weight of the vehicle crushes your neck, but still. Alot of coverage there to protect from 9mm bullets.

screen-shot-2016-12-07-at-1-51-37-pm

Name a chiller guy in a shootout scenario. Like he’s waiting for a friend to come out of the house or something and there isn’t a shootout going on. Hood up, hands in the pockets as if 10 people weren’t about to die in a nonsensical shootout.

screen-shot-2016-12-07-at-1-51-46-pm

Back against the wall scenario when you could duck in a door way to shoot and aim without absolutely getting hit by bullets.   screen-shot-2016-12-07-at-1-51-55-pm

Yo that phone call can wait homie. Not to mention between the hail of gunfire and your own muzzle fire I don’t care what your cellular provider you have, nothings coming through that cellphone but the sound of fireworks pressed directly into the speakers. screen-shot-2016-12-07-at-1-52-08-pm

Stand DIRECTLY in front of 3 people shooting behind you while being in the forefront of everyone shooting at you.

screen-shot-2016-12-07-at-1-52-12-pm

Having a Go kart is awesome. No idea why these people have one in the hood but i like it.

screen-shot-2016-12-07-at-1-52-18-pm

I’m with this guy here. Sitting is much better than standing up. I don’t care if there’s hot lead flying directly at my head, nothing I can’t shoot standing up that I can’t do sitting down.

screen-shot-2016-12-07-at-1-52-26-pm

This is just my bias but a white mini van is so not a hot vehicle to use in a drive by. Need a black murdered out car to look tough and bad ass. Not look like you have to go to pick up your kids at soccer practice.

Elliot Friedman Does A Quick Interview With Tom Rowe Regarding Gallant’s Firing

Leave a reply

screen-shot-2016-12-05-at-12-21-05-pm

LINK TO VIDEO HERE

What’s done is done. You can take what you want from this interview. Whether or not Rowe was sincere about Gallant. How it went down. How they would’ve done it differently. Me on the other hand? I’m picturing Gallant and Mike Kelly in a rental car driving from Fort Lauderdale Airport back to BB&T center to clear out their office. The GPS tells them to turn right. Gallant slowly veers right.

Mike Kelly: Gerard, what are you doing?

Gerard Gallant: The GPS says to turn right.

Mike Kelly: It means stay towards the right and go around the canal.

Gerard Gallant: Maybe it’s a shortcut, Mike. It knows where it’s going.

Mike Kelly: It can’t possibly mean that, there’s no road here!

Gerard Gallant: THE MACHINE KNOWS! STOP YELLING AT ME!

** Gerard proceeds to drive into a canal off of 595 **

Gerard Gallant: Everyone always wants new analytics. Everybody likes new corsi, new fenwicks. Hockey players will never be replaced by machines. In the end, life and business and Hockey are about human connections. And computers are about trying to murder you in a lake and getting you fired. And to me the choice is easy.

So yea this is how I’m dealing with this team currently. Molding the scenarios into a hit comedy TV series that’s been off TV for the past 4 years. Boston tonight. Panthers win 5-1.

Lion Mauls The Shit Out of A Zoo Keeper In A Nearly PERFECT Youtube Video

Leave a reply

Yo my face light up for a second when I clicked play. Like became the happyest dude on the planet. Not because this dude most certainly is probably dead from a caged lion mauling the shit outta him. But for the fact that all of this is going down with the fucking Mortal Kombat theme song playing in the background. The second i heard those techno house beats go down I said to myself “This is perfection.”  If it were the case I couldn’t even blame the lion. It’s on the house DJ. I mean between a wild beast begin contained and a man who thinks he has control over a lion squaring off with him, the second that song plays they’re triggered. Alas, it had to be ruined by some shitty slowed down dance house whatever version of the song. But still picture it. The synthesizers slowly playing as this guy is squaring off with the lion like any regular zoo keeper. You here over the speakers “Test Your Might” while he’s dancing around the cage as the music begins…… MORTAL KOMBAT! **Guy proceeds to get his brain clawed out of his eyeballs** “MORTAL KOMBAT”