Monthly Archives: June 2018

They’re Holding XXXTentacions Funeral Inside The BB&T Center

 

Not here to argue about XXXtentacion. Some people liked him, some people didn’t. Some people thought he was a scum bag. I think universally for the most part people think he didn’t deserve to die. Do I know his music? Absolutely not. Do people like it? Absolutely. But If I find out the total funeral attendance for fucking XXXtentacion’s, who is on the thin grey line between people liking him and people blasting him on social media for his past, is more than the average attendance to a Florida Panthers hockey game in south Florida, I’m gonna flip.

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Ooooh The Weather Outside is Weather. – Paul Rudd/Surf Instructor Kunu Voice

 

Peak Florida weather pattern. Honestly it boggles my mind how scientist aren’t on the rooftops of every Florida home. Not to tell me the weather or anything, I know its gonna rain and be hot as balls, but just the sheer science of it has to drive weather meteorologist nerds crazy. Like in movies when a scientist finds life on mars or something. They get all giddy and willing to risk all life on earth just to explore and learn more about aliens that can wage war on us and kill us all. Well that’s the weather here in Florida. It can certainly kill us all by drowning us to our graves, but scientist should come to study the science of how the weather becomes peak Florida by raining cats and dogs to perfectly Sunny one inch away. There has to be some sort of name for that anomaly. Like how New Yorkers have the Manhattenhenge when the sunset is perfectly aligned with a Manhattan street so that people can take pictures and post on instagram. Well there has to be some sort of Florida pop-culture version name for when the weather is split perfectly rain storm on one half of an Ihop in a run down strip mall next to a Hertz Rent-a- Car and a Pawn Shop, and perfectly sunny on the other half of said Ihop. Perfect for Floridians to upload on Facebook. Not instagram. Facebook.

I Dont Know If I Could Take A Teacher Seriously If Her Name Was Ms. Sprinkles….Also, She Had Sex With A Student

New York Post – A North Carolina teacher reportedly fled town when she learned on social media that she was charged for having sex with a student, according to officials.
Kayla Sprinkles, 26, was indicted by a grand jury on sexual assault charges June 4 after allegations surfaced that she was sexually involved with a student in the Cherokee County schools system, news station WPVI reported.
The Andrews High School teacher’s relationship with the student allegedly occurred from December 2016 to April 2017, according to the Clay County Progress.
Sprinkles fled the county after news of the indictment hit social media, authorities said. She ultimately turned herself in June 7 to the Mecklenburg County Detention Center, where she was released on $25,000 bond.
She is set to appear next in Cherokee County Superior Court on July 2.

That’s the golden age of social media for you. On one end of the spectrum it can help start a political revolution in the Middle East, on the other end of the spectrum, Its posting news articles saying there’s a warrant out for your arrest for sexually fucking a student. Tough break for the latter when you’re just scrolling through your Facebook judging all the people you grew up with in high school. Calling one girl a bitch, rolling your eyes at the other for bragging about their kid who’s “so wonderful.” Next thing you know you accidentally like a post about how cops are looking for a North Carolina teacher at Andrews High School in the Cherokee County school system who was sexually involved with a student, and that the teachers name is Kayla Sprinkles. Thats probably when it hit her that it was her they were looking for, and I would do the same move, just bolt. Run away from your problems until you throw up and realize you fuuuuccckkkeeeddd up.

But that’s neither here nor there. I’m not a jury of her peers, I’ll let the proper Law & Order take place on Sprinkles here.

Could you honestly take a teacher named Sprinkles seriously? I mean I don’t waaaannnt to judge someone based off their name, But can you imagine that growing up? Sitting in 5th grade math and raising your hand and saying “Ms. Sprinkles, may I use the restroom?” It sounds like you’re asking a cat for permission to take a piss, and that’s weird. It sucks on her end too. Trying to teach some discipline, catch some kids vandalizing school property and really laying down the law on them. “Sorry Ms. Sprinkles” **chuckle** snickering laughter** Chuckle**. All authority is compromised when your last name is some sort of confectionery dessert topping. Was she a fine teacher? Maybe. Did she have sex with a student? Definitely. All I’m saying is I don’t want to make any generalizations about her based off name alone but it’s hard to take her too serious with the last name Sprinkles. Its like in Meet the Parents when Greg has to come to terms with the fact that the future in-laws mock his family surname, Focker. And that guy had it way worse. Imagine if Sprinkles here had to go through gen pop with the full name Gaylord Sprinkles.