FoxNewsLatino- Colombian star Shakira and her partner, soccer player Gerard Pique, are denying reports that they are being blackmailed over a sex tape. A Spanish publication, Diario Vasco, reported that a former employee of the power couple is threatening to go public with the supposedly homemade video if they don’t pay up. But spokespeople for the couple say there is no truth to the report published by various media sources, including the Daily Mail, TMZ and Perez Hilton. Shakira, 38, and Pique, 28, have two sons – Milan, 2, and Sasha, 11 months. The rumors about a Shakira-Gerard sex tape follows the recent charge against Real Madrid striker Karim Benzema for blackmailing his French teammate Mathieu Valbuena over an alleged sex tape.
Sorry fellas, we never made one.
On the real though, this rumor has been floating around the internet since like 2013. Did this bitch just give up black mailing and then just on a random fall afternoon start blackmailing pop stars out of no where? If so the sctick is lame and the world wants you to stop teasing our balls. And to do it now? It was one thing when Shak aint have a kid yet but shes a mom now. Show a little respect ya know? There’s a reason why I considered her the most wifey. Sure she’s a flaming hot sex goddess but she’s also out saving the world and Africa and shit doing charities and raising kids. Black mail some other dime bag thats fucking male models all you want and I wont care. But not my queen. Or else ill cut you.
….especially because i want to be the only one to see it. Can’t have the world jerking off to my fake imaginary wife.
Kickstarter– Have you ever wanted freckles? Us too! Now we have our chance. Freck Yourself lets you apply realistic-looking freckles using our stencil + formula method. There have always been two problems with creating artificial freckles. First, it’s really hard to create a realistic pattern. Natural freckles have a random pattern & sizing variation, but freckles applied with a pencil are all the same shape of the pencil tip. Second, pencil or makeup freckles smudge really easily. Our product solves both of these problems. The kit comes with 72 self-adhesive stencils and a rollerball of formula that is similar in formulation to sunless tanner. The freckle patterns look natural and last 2 days. Users who apply Freck Yourself every morning have several layers of faded frecks, which produces incredibly realistic results for four to six weeks.
Is this a thing now? Chicks want fake freckles? Kinda weird since I’m pretty sure those were a mark of ugliness back then. I mean the whole making fun of ginger thing comes with the freckles but i guess some chicks just want to look kinda uglier? In case you need a second opinion ladies, let me tell you that this shit is stupid. I mean when you’re going out your friends should ask you if you’ve suddenly developed skin cancer and once you tell them you spent actual U.S. Dollars to purchase temporary tattoos to make you look like a freckled loser, they should 100% call you out on it for being a phony. I mean good for the kickstarter raising over $13K so far but the testimonial photos kinda prove that its not a better look. I mean Apphia from LA up there, its not the freckles that make you look hotter. Its the glasses on and snarky smile that doesn’t show all your gums and shit that makes me want to blow one on your glasses. And Brittnay went from looking like a rebellious teen that wants to sneak out of school to blow her boyfriend to essentially the same thing but with the freckles it makes her look more like an orphan doing it. Just being honest. I mean don’t get me wrong some chicks who have freckles naturally are hot but thats because they’ve been exposed to the sun and shit for so long like Shakira and Bar Refeali and they’re hot for so many more reasons other than freckles and they still cover that shit up sometimes. If you were buying this shit for like 10 cents like it was a pack of Fruit Stripes gum with the temporary rub on tattoos I kinda get it, but you’re paying like 36 bucks for shit when In the end no one really wants to see people with freckles hence why hot celebrities and every hot chick on the planet uses make up to cover that shit up. And everyone aspires to look like a hot celebrity and if you think other wise you’re dumb.
Mother nature’s such a cock sucker sometimes. One second you’re getting your second wind and try to force the ball into the offensive zone and the next second the wind grabs your team by the balls and bounces one right out of the mitts of the net minder leading to a goal. Tough break for which ever team that was but you gotta hold your head up high and thank god you made it home with out the vengeance of Thor striking down on your SUV with every bit of lightning in the sky.
Gone. Just erased off the face of the Earth as if mankind never even touched that area. Sure it wasn’t some prime piece of real estate or any significant piece of architecture but people lived there. Human lives grew up there. And then outta the world took a giant ass eraser and got rid of it. I dont know why it was my first thought but its like the last quote in Gangs of New York where Leo says “And no matter what they did to build this city up again… for the rest of time… it would be like no one ever knew we was even here…..because a giant ass sink hole swallowed our fucking house in Bangladesh into the bowels of hell.”
**Montage of Indian people rebuilding that shack of a house**
**Cue up U2’s- The Hands That Built America Orchestral Version**
OrlandoWeekly– The popular pizza joint Lazy Moon Pizza, known for delicious pizzas larger than an infant, will soon open a new location in the Mills 50 area. As first reported by the Bungalower, the pizzaria will occupy a 5,000 square foot space in the bottom floor of the former Cruises Only/Euro Living building on Colonial Drive. Not many details are currently available, but we’re hoping this move will also include Lazy Moon’s Boxcar Willy special, which involves a slice of cheese and a PBR for $5. According to the Bungalower, a butcher and delicatessen called Orlando Meats will also open on the first floor.
When I left O-town there was two sure fire regrets I had. 1) was not trying the gobbler at Wawa, last time I was up there I crushed 3 of them and they are fucking legit. 2) was not getting enough Lazy Moon when I was there. Because there’s nothing better than massive slices of pizza the size of a full grown toddler on any occasion. Any its not just a novelty either. If it was that I’d be the first to call them out on that, but shits actually legit pizza. A long night of drinking and one slice can magically fill you up and cure the worst hangovers. Seriously there’s not a lot to Orlando to like outside of the Disney area and UCF itself and that place might be a breeding ground for hate mongering Nazi’s. Well Lazy Moon is definitely a staple to Orlando and the fact that its gonna be 10 minutes outside of downtown means you can get drunk, load up on pizza and beer at Lazy Moon and maybe even try to finger a Vietnamese girl wandering on Mills in Viet town if you can’t close a deal with anything from the bars and clubs. It’s a blessing to Orlando.
Source- Superstitious parents in Nakhonsawan province hosted a big traditional wedding for their 3-year-old twins in attempt to fix their bad karma. Petai Angdechawat married his twin sister Pailin at their home on Saturday. The adorable pair had their Thai wedding ceremony at their home on Saturday as Petai offered his sister a whopping THB3 million in cash and gold as her dowry. In Thai culture, it is believed that opposite-sex twins were lovers in the past life who were prevented from being together. Being born together as twins means their prayers were delivered by God. Parents must marry their twins for blessing to send a message to God that they’re well and in love; otherwise the cultural belief is that the children might die very young, News Connect reported. Petai and Pailin also had this cute wedding photoshoot which went viral on Twitter.
(She looks like the biggest bitch of a twin sister/wife if I’ve ever seen one.)
Hey Petai, congrats on being having the worst cards dealt ever! I mean I hope for the kids sake there’s a divorce clause attached to this bullshit marriage. Kinda like once you turn 13 you divorce and hopefully your 3 year old baby ass made her sign a prenup. What kind of whack ass cultural superstition is this? They were lovers in the past? Listen, I want to fuck Shakira really realllyyy bad. If by chance we were actually lovers and died together the last thing I want is for Shakira to become my sister. That’s the exact opposite thing I want from god. The parents should at least let him be old enough to make a rational choice. If I’m 16 and told I had to marry my sister or there was some phoney baloney possibility of death, I’m a million percent chance id chose death every time. And if anyone chooses other wise, your insane and probably a sister fucker. Seriously its as if Thailand has never seen a birth defect ever in their life. And honestly it is worse for one kid and its the guy. Imagine being a kid and being forced to give up $3 MILLION TBH just because your mom said so. And what the fuck doesn’t that money just go back to the parents? Biggest screw job in hte planet. Petai is now going to be poor, labeled a sister fucker, will probably have weird looking kids, a twin weirdo, and will probably end up in a failed marriage that cripples his confidence for ever. The worse.
P.s- $83 thou aint no joke for a 3 year old. Handing that over to your bitch sister that probably wont fuck you and hopefully you don’t actually want to fuck is absurd on every level.
NYDN- A dispute over underwear between Derek Jeter and 50 Cent has turned the rapper into a Mets fan. Jeter angered the Queens-born MC after backing out of a deal to promote a line of swanky skivvies because he feared 50 Cent would make the brand too “urban,” according to reports. Jeter is being sued for nearly $5 million in Sweden for reneging on his promise to promote the undie brand Frigo, according to a lawsuit obtained by TMZ.com. “Fifty was totally shocked to hear Jeter felt this way,” a source told the Daily News. The then-Yankees captain signed a three-year deal in 2011 to be a director of the company and agreed to participate in major publicity events, the suit alleges. But the baseball great allegedly got his knickers in a bunch in 2013, telling the owners he didn’t want his relationship with the company made public during its U.S. launch. When Frigo signed 50 Cent as a brand ambassador a year later, Jeter — who is biracial — tried to distance himself even more, fearing Fitty’s involvement would make the undies too “urban,” according to the suit. The undergarments cost up to $100 per pair. Fitty, whose real name is Curtis Jackson, took to Instagram last year to brag about his deal with the upstart company. “I just did a deal for $78 million for underwear. What did you muthaf—as do today?” he wrote. Frigo majority owner Mathias Ingvarsson claims Jeter’s actions have cost the company $30 million and he wants the shortstop to pony up $4.7 million in damages. Representatives for Jeter did not immediately respond to requests for comment.
Im siding with Jeter here 100%. Now its kinda been a joke how 50 cent always post #SMSaudio and #EffenVodka after every little thing on the planet. It could be “Thoughts and Prayers for Paris #EffenVodka #SMSaudio” which im pretty sure happened last week. Well the thing is those are 2 very clear companies. When i saw #Frigo at the end of things, I 100% legitimately thought it was to promote a rapper or something. Nothing about Mens Underwear. Nothing but a name that im pretty sure there are at least 10 Puerto Rican’s are using as a current nickname or alias. I don’t know how underwear would get “too urban”, but you cant blame Jeter for thinking that when it sounds like a one hit rapper associated with 50 cent. That’s not to mean that Jeter should back out of this though. It sounded too urban from the jump so i dont get whats stopping him now. Time to embrace your half black and get urban after retirement.
Need em. Stop giving me Luongo posters every other home game and Dale Tallon Bobble heads. I want fancy, cool, interesting to look at, stylized posters designed to signify that days game. You want to put asses in seats, you gotta be visually interesting and these are the best things to come to hockey so far. Not the 3 on 3, not the inevitable sponsored jerseys. These.
Metro- A man has been jailed after squirting kids with a water pistol loaded with his semen. Kevin Jaramillo, who initially faced almost 60 years in jail, will go behind bars for at least 18. He pleaded no contest to charges in Albuquerque, New Mexico. His victim’s ranged in age from nine to 18. The 35-year-old approached numerous children around Albuquerque in March 2014 and filmed them as they got squirted with the toy. Jaramillo blamed his behavior on drugs, alcohol and mental illness. The father of one victim says Jaramillo took away his daughter’s innocence.
Hey Kevin Jaramillio, you sick fuck, you can’t just go around town cumming all over kids face through a plastic squirt gun. You’re essentially jerking off on people and thats some messed up stuff that only like homeless people do. Didn’t think that would even work right. Like i picture those little squirt guns you get at the dollar store as party favors for kids but i cant imagine that shits strong enough to actually fire thick jizz. I mean think about the pressure that builds up when you jerk off. If you have it all built up and shit you launch like a cannon. I don’t think those little cheap water guns can do that unless its like a super soaker where you can build up pressure and if you do that you deserve more than 18 years. You’re literally building up to do a porn star style money shot on some tyke. Thats fucked up.
ORLANDO, Fla. — When students on the campus of the University of Central Florida found swastika-emblazoned stickers and fliers this week, the backlash was immediate. “To publish a hate group like that, I feel like a lot of these people maybe don’t even know what they are doing,” UCF student Ashley Peters said. “And if they do know what they are doing, it’s definitely evil.” While disturbing to some students, the stickers and fliers do not necessarily constitute a crime, UCF police said. For now, authorities are treating the incidents as “criminal mischief,” which, according to Florida law focuses on the placement of material, not the content. Student Sarah Krintz doesn’t like seeing anti-Semitic paraphernalia on her campus, but she doesn’t see its presence as criminal. “I don’t approve of it, but (it’s) freedom of speech,” she said. One flier shows a gun with a swastika and the tag line, “Florida! Let’s kick it off! Join your local Nazis!” It points to a website that encourages students to interact with “fellow fascists.” The whole thing is upsetting, Peters said. “Think about what happened not even a hundred years ago,” she said. The stickers and fliers were found at a newspaper stand on campus, and UCF representatives said they were also found on bulletin boards at two housing facilities. They have been removed. UCF police urge students to contact them if they see any suspicious activity.
Would you chose to not go to party college if there might or might not be a fascist regime known for their main involvement in World War II where they took the lives of 6 million Jews on the rise? I mean maybe if your Jewish but I’ve known of a few Jews to order Pork Lo Mein and part take in some Pepperoni Pizza. I mean imagine you’re Jewish and 17 on your campus tour through Florida and you see an ocean of Blonde 18 year olds around campus in their sun wear at UCF. Hard to turn down the weather and constant college parties with hot chicks even if they are trying to bring an Aryan Race to power.
Speaking of racism/discrimination at UCF though, remember when George O’Leary said they needed to get black people with blue-er gums because that means they’re bigger stronger and faster than regular black guys with pink gums? I’m not gonna say its right to discriminate or do anything based on race. I’m not saying there’s any correlation either. All I’m saying is If every one on the UCF Knights Roster had gums pinker than Dubble Bubble Bubble Gum, I would be a little surprised, but George O’Leary wouldn’t be surprised at all.
P.S- Tomorrow’s my Birthday and I wanted to drive up and go to the ECU game but they stink so im staying home and pretend i never went there when people mention College Football.
P.S.#2- If George O’Leary headed this thing like Cameron in American History X, i also kinda wouldn’t be surprised.