Yo Cheryl, fuck this snake. It’s crawling in your fuck Christmas tree. If you have kids and shit sitting by the tree, it could murk them in a second. And don’t you dare tell me I’m over reacting. She’s under reacting. Fuck all of that “She didn’t panic, she called the snake catcher!” I would panic. You’re suppose to panic. It’s a snake. You know those sneaky devious animals that can strike at fast speeds and has a body that’s entirely muscle and loaded with venom. If I were with this person i would assume she’s praying for a death wish for how nonchalant she seems about a snake. Not to mention the biblical undertones of the whole scenario. Christmas, Christ mas, more Christ, the snake is the devil. All of that nonsense. I don’t want to be branded an animal killer. In almost all scenarios I want them to be free in the wild to do whatever it is they do. But you guys know I will never like snakes. It broke into your domicile, stand your ground and blow it away with a shotgun.
There’s not much to say about this video. This guy saw a giant anaconda in his house and tried to pet it. I got white knuckle just watching the video and damn near shot a whole right through my laptop when that thing lunged at the camera. It wasn’t just going for his hand, it was going for his head. He don’t give a fuck about you trying to pet it, it wants food and it targeted for a head shot. Fuck that. This is what I would’ve done…..
Rain a hail of gun fire over every inch of that things gross ass slithering body. Don’t even know how i would dispose of that thing. Doesn’t matter that if it got swiss cheesed up, I don’t want to lay a finger near it.
Everyone knows I hate snakes. So obviously I’m not saying I’m turned on right now, but I’m also not not saying I’m turned on right now. Jah feel? This just kinda proves one thing, Women are just devil seductresses. Yea i know, it’s something we kind of already know. If she has a fat enough ass or big enough tits, your judgement gets clouded 100% of the time. I just said i hate snakes. I said it before i clicked on the video. I said it watching the entire video in a trance. I said it after i watched the video. I said it when i watched the video again. And last of all, I said it while sporting at least a half chub the entire time. Maybe the situation would be different if i was in a lap dance stall one on two with her and a snake but all i know is she did naughty sexy stuff with the snake and sure i was a little bit disgusted but i was also turned on enough to probably throw all the money i have at her to make her do more of it. Why? because she knows what she is and knows she can use what she got to make some money off of suckers like me and all these dudes here. And its not just us, you guys reading it too can admit you guys got turned on just a little bit. If it wasn’t when the snake was slithering over her pussy, it was when she was about to deep throat the entire snake. (You think about what she could do to your penis that probably sucks.)
ARVADA – An Arvada resident woke up to find an unexpected visitor in the bathroom Sunday. A bullsnake – which may have come in through the venting system – was making itself at home. Sherri Lombard, who lives near 67th Avenue and Lupine Street, called animal management. But not before doing what any rational person would do. “I heard hissing, and I thought it was the commode leaking, and I started to walk in and I heard the snake rise up, and started to strike, so that’s when I backed up and screamed,” Lombard said. “I shut that bathroom door and said ‘I’m never going in there again,’ which means I have one less bathroom to clean.” The snake was removed from the home and set free in a nearby park.
Im with Sherri Lombard here. I can close a door and never walk back in there ever again. If a snake moves into my house, I WILL leave this place. One time a frog somehow got inside and spent the night at one of the toilets in the house. Stayed a few days a friends house with my dog and never used that toilet again. The only mistake they made was setting that mother fucker free. Im almost sure with proper warning you’re allowed to shoot intruders. Well find your favorite rifle and blast that bitch to kingdom come. That homes just not safe anymore. I mean it crawled in from the ventilation system? Well guess what, that snake knows how to break into your house now. Next time you’re taking a dump, there could be a snake right above you crawling through the vents waiting to snake your ass mid shit. Can’t have that.
Mirror- A man’s penis almost withered up and died after he was bitten by a poisonous snake while urinating in a field. The farmer, who had been caught short and was urinating in a field, waited for three hours before the pain became unbearable and he rushed to A&E. Doctors inspected the 46-year-old’s member which had become grossly swollen and was covered in blisters where the bite had made its impact. According to the New England Journal of Medicine, the fang marks were obviously visible leading them to search for an antidote. The incident, which happened in the Himalayas, shocked doctors who probed the man for information on what the creature looked like. He identified the serpent by using the name ‘gunas’ which was then discovered to be a Levantine viper. Doctors began to notice the man’s blood was clotting rapidly as the venom travelled around his body and injected him with a drug that neutralised the poison. He was left in hospital for three days following the attack – and had black wounds where the viper punctured his penis due to necrosis which causes the tissue to wither and die. The medics at the Sher-i-Kashmir Institute of Medical Sciences, Srinagar, India subsequently checked up on the unlucky man – and discovered that after four days after he was discharged that the swelling on his penis had decreased. Snakes bite around five million people worldwide each year and cause 100,000 deaths. Several hundred thousand suffer amputations or other disabilities as a result of the venom.
Alright well if you’re not paying attention by now, we here at the Orange dont like snakes and none of you readers better either. I mean If Snakes would have a pact with anyone it should be a farmer. Taking care of the lay of the land, usually keen sense of where animals are, provide a ton of land. But nope, they are again causing problems biting farmers and the dick and shit. Just being the worst thing ever. Now the snakes are a problem on one end, but also this guy is a bit of an idiot i think. I mean if you get bit in the dick by anything do you wait 3 hours before doing anything about it? None the less a venomous snake? I’ve been sack tapped before and nearly rushed to the ER when I dropped to my knees. I mean if you’re irrational like me, i probably would’ve killed myself, but if someone were there and nice enough to talk me out of suicide within 5 minutes best believe i would’ve rushed to the ER. Did he think the blood clotting made his dick look bigger or something? If it wasn’t super gross looking at that point i guess i would’ve tried to snap some pics of it first before rushing to the hospital from unbearable pains of your penis rotting off but more likely than not my medical acumen says that wasn’t the case. Well let that be a lesson to all farmers out there. Look to this mans half dead penis and know that when you get bitten the dick by a snake, rush to the hospital ASAP.