Monthly Archives: May 2017

Screen Rants: Baywatch ****Spoilers****NSFW****

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Lifeguard Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne Johnson) and a brash new recruit (Zac Efron) uncover a criminal plot that threatens the future of the bay.

Name a hotter cast for this summer. You can’t. On Wednesday Baywatch had a special Wednesday release instead of the normal Thursday and naturally I had to watch is because The Rock is my dude. I’ll follow Rocky Maivia tot he ends of the earth if I have to. Also super fun fact, his baby mama is my neighbor, but I swear on gods green earth that that fact will not weigh into my opinion on this movie.

So Baywatch, first of all you gotta realize what this movie is. They’re not trying to mimic Michael Bay in the size of their action scenes. It’s not trying to be a Christopher Nolan movie that is intelligent and deep and well planned action. Its an action comedy featuring essentially models, perfect human specimens, as comedic action stars (minus Jon Bass’s character).  We’re not trying to break cinematic barriers here and at one point they even wrote in a joke pointing out the self awareness of what Baywatch is, so all those reviews that trash it can go kick rocks. Those opinions aren’t welcome cause they’re trying to compare Baywatch, a comedy remake of a hit 90’s television show that was technically canceled after 1 season, to the master works of Federico Felini.

But I will say, this movie sometimes, if i were to critique it, it fails at finding out what it is. Is it a comedy, is it action, can it balance both? Many of the thought heading into it was also that its suppose to be like 21 Jump Street. A very good comparison but the difference is Jonah Hill is funny. Works in comedy, is known for comedy etc. Channing Tatum, looks like a dumb idiot but is also pretty funny in a comedic sense. The Rock is conversationally funny. Zac Efron, probably not the funniest guy ever. And when the whole movie revolves around those 2 characters, it sometimes feels lacking in humor. Now don’t get me wrong, I still had a damn good time watching it and there are funny scenes that will probably give a chuckle. And lets face it, you’re not going to see this for the plot, you’re going to watch action scenes with the Rock and laugh at some jokes and stare at hot chicks in the movie. And with critics slamming Baywatch, it undersells maybe to the point where you watch it and go “oh it wasn’t as bad as they were making it out to be.” So all in all I give it a 6.- O wait a minute.

**Knock** **Knock**

**Goes To Answer The Door**

Me: Hey! Dany! How’s it going?

Dany (a.k.a the Rocks Baby Mama): Hey Ed! Hows it going? Just wanted to stop by and say Hi!

Me: Oh all is well, I actually got done watching the movie you produced, Baywatch! It was great! Hilarious fun summer action film. Great entertainment that you can watch with your friends and not have to take seriously!

Dany: Ah good good. Alright well jsut stopping by to say Hi. Maybe One day I can bring The Rock to come meet you since we’re neighbors and all! I’ll let you get back to blogging!

Okay, sorry bout that guys. Neighbors just wanted to say hi. Anyways yea, Baywatch? 15 out of 10. Run to the movies with your buddies and just don’t act poor because you can’t afford 10 dollars a ticket.

 

Now before we get to the discussions did I ever tell you guys the Rocks baby mama is my neighbor? Little fun fact. Discussion!

Olympics

You know how they say the idea of college isn’t necessary anymore? How we all kinda learn specific things that apply to our career and don’t need to learn shit like a fifth foreign language or learn about the Stars in order to get a degree and be successful. Well do we really need the Olympics anymore? I love the Olympics. I like the story lines and I’ll always root for USA to dominate other countries because we have the resources to produce athletes like Lebron. But now a days like we have one or two competitions that the world focuses in on. I.E. swimming. Why? Because we were able to market the shit out of guys like Michael Phelps and his albatross wing span. But that’s one athlete out of thousands from around the world. Back then when you ask someone if they would want to be an Olympic athlete I’m sure people fell in love with the thought that it could happen. Now though? When you see the amount of money that goes around being in a pro sport league compared to now a days when the guy making your Subway sandwich or worker at Home Depot could be an Olympic athlete, its a haarrrrddddd pass. Now granted, I’m no athlete, Olympic, pro, or amateur, shit not even collegiate, but still, the thought that you can be Matt Brody, perfect body, 2x gold medalist and still just be a life guard stinks.

David Hasselhoff

How about Hasselhoff Cameoing in 2 hit summer movies within the same month for characters he played a million years ago? He said 1 line of dialogue in Guardians 2 and gave almost a paragraph worth of dialogue in the Baywatch remake and probably made a couple hundred thousand just for that. Fucking Hollywood man.

RANK THE HOTNESS

Lot of hot bods in this movie. A clear reason why It’s at least worth a watch.

8.) The Field

Not gonna lie, a little disappointed in what we got going on with the non stars. I know it doesn’t focus much on the outside characters, and there for certain were some hot chicks in the crowd, but in a movie that should only have hot people, there was nothing dazzling in the crowd.

A crowd of X’s actual cast members and maybe 2 chicks that I deem hot enough for Baywatch. The rest are just guys. Not ugly guys, per say, but certainly not hot chicks, thats for certain. I needed at one point,  Fast and the Furious shot that just highlights how hot people can be mixed in with a a tracking ass shot. Maybe it got left on the cutting room floor, but either way, it’s absence was felt.

7.) Oscar Martinez/I Cant Remember His Name In This Movie

Gotta throw him into this ranking. He’s a catch 22 type situation. He probably should be below The Field in this ranking, but he showed his cock in this movie. That takes a lot of balls, no pun intended, But also his cock wasn’t impressive, and by the dialogue, also has a big bush, which again should also place him below the field in this ranking. I’m putting him 1 above the bottom because Oscar Martinez was hilarious in the Office. Yea it has nothing to do with Baywatch but this is my blog so I get to manipulate things in this space like I’m god. Deal with it and just laugh at Oscars cock scene.

6.) Kelly Rohrbach

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Hard to place her where she is. She’s like a main supporting character and is hot fire. But she’s a model/actress and not the other way around. Her body is all there. But for some reason I can’t place her face above everyone else. Models are about body shape, but actors are all about the face and how distinct it is. Something about hers is a little bit off in this. Maybe its the eyes in some scenes? Maybe in the right light she beams past the competition, but in my heart of hearts based off this movie I can’t move her up more than she already is. She hot as balls clearly because Leo gave her a shot but her face just doesn’t do it for me, compared to everyone else at least. This Gif though begs to differ.

 

5.) Priyanka Chopra/Victoria Leeds

The baddie of the film. Gorgeous woman. The field I feel like puts here in a weird place being associated so close to the bottom, but make no mistake, she baaddddd, and I mean that in a good way. If i had to pick a gripe, though, maybe, just maybe her lips are too big? Too plump? at a quick glance, she certainly has some DSLs, but for some reason in some of the up close shots you look at them, obviously because you’re picturing doing unchristian things with her, and then at some scenes they looked like they were stuffed with collagen or something.

4.) Zac Efron/ Matt Brody

This fucking guy. First off I will say, spelling Zac with just a “Z-a-c” is a wild move but I like it. When when you don’t know if its Zach or Zack shit maybe even Zak if you’re European or something, but just 3 letters Zac to make life a little bit easier is a decent move in my books. But that’s neither here nor there. So Zach Efron, Guy is ripped. Guy is too ripped for his size. Like at one point if he just dies, I wouldn’t be surprised because his frame and skeletal structure probably can’t handle all that beef. Also his head looks massive. I don’t know why but guy looks like a bobble head out there sometimes. Subtly in looks might suit him better but that wont stop Efron from looking like a champion body builder. That’s not even a realistic look for a swimmer. They’re lean and long armed and don’t have muscle weighing them down. But if ripped up is your flavor, Matt Brody has it.

3.) Alexandra Daddario

Maybe a controversial decision. Alex Daddario is a SMOKEBOMB. Fuego. Eyes are fucking wild, looks hot in those life guard jump suits and stacked. The prototypical Baywatch life guard is a blond but theres always one brunette to offset the blondes and Daddario is a great pick. Those eyes man, their pierce the screen. If I had to make one complaint though, its that this woman can’t for the life of her tan. Always looking pale as shit. In some scenes she looks like she has some color but the next scene it looks like shes coming out for the 1st time since winter. I’ll take that pale ass any day of the week, but just saying, maybe get a base going with some spray on and then bake in the sun for like 4 hours on both sides. Oh also this.

2.) The Rock/Mitch Buchannon

Tall, tan, Handsome smile, muscular, charming, well spoken, a god amongst men, 8 time WWF champion, Father to my neighbors daughter. Really nothing to say here. Should be number 1 but the Rock is a well known being and out of no where number 1 stole my heart away.

1.) Ilfenesh Hadera/Stephanie Holden

Stunning Gorgeous woman. Seriously the more and more i saw of her the more she was nudging the others out of the competition. Smooth mocha skin. Hot bod. Daddario is a hot chick for sure. Ilfenesh Hadera is a hot woman. One you can court around fancy people.

 

 

 

6 Rebuttals To ” 6 Reasons Why ‘Justice League’ Can Be Better Than ‘Avengers'”

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At this point I think I’m just gonna be a full on DC Hater. From what i gather from nerds, DC is ruling in the comic book world while Marvel is killing it on screen. Lucky fro Marvel, I watch comic book movies, not read them like some nerd. and from the 10 year span Marvel has done a solid job while every DC movie just stinks in comparison. Now they don’t have as many, but they want to set the scale and be up to par with an action packed super hero movie, then I’ll judge it as so. And while Heroic Hollywood wants to defend what Justice League seems to be, I’m here to trash it into the ground. Buckle up cause its about to get Nerdy as Fuuucckkkkkk

6.) Age of Heros

While Batman and Wonder Woman will have had a little more time to shine on the big screen when Justice League comes out, Cyborg, Aquaman and Flash are really all making their big-screen debut here. Wonder Woman calls the time period around Justice League a new “Age of Heroes” during the trailer, and I really want to see that angle pushed. Now that the Marvel Universe is torn apart and the Avengers need to slowly come back together, it falls on DC to show us what a fun superhero team looks like right now.
Under Zack Snyder’s supervision, Superman never struck me as overtly heroic. Hopefully, in his death, he will serve as an inspiring force who pushes others to heroic heights. Batman was visibly jaded throughout most of Batman V Superman, and I’m hoping we will see a Batman in Justice League who pushes others to do what’s right.
Flash is one of my all-time favorite comic book characters and I’m excited to see how they handle him on the big-screen. Barry Allen has always been the team’s hopeful optimist, and I think this movie will see the DC Universe embrace a lighter, more joyous tone going forward. Batman and Wonder Woman will need all the help they can get as they work to assemble a team to defend Earth from the threat posed by Darkseid and his loyal followers.

This is a reason? We “immediately” need a teamed up Super Hero movie? By the time Justice League Rolls around, I’m pretty sure GotG Vol. 2 will roll around on Blu-Ray which would probably be better, if not maybe get Spiderman Homecoming probably around then as well. Oh and Thor who teams up with the Hulk in Thor Ragnarok comes out like the week before JL. How can you say,  a team up super hero action movie is better than the other when the other has already done 2, 2.5 team up movies with a 3rd in the making that has a cast of 64 different unique comic book characters? Marvel tore the team apart so they couldn’t immediately curb stomp Thanos. They’ve been around long enough to build up, tear em down, and build em back up again.

5.) Aquaman

Jason Momoa is the DC cast member I’m most excited to see blossom and grow within the cinematic universe. Momoa, a Hawaiian born actor, said he is excited to blend the character’s origin with some of the water deities associated with his culture. Aquaman is the butt of a lot of jokes, but it’s hard to laugh at him when it’s Momoa’s tough mug staring down at audiences. Momoa has martial arts experience due to his roles in Game of Thrones and Conan, meaning he will have no problem making things look good when Aquaman has to tear through a few enemies.
That isn’t saying there won’t be any comedy for Momoa. My favorite parts of the most recent Justice League trailer feature Momoa cracking jokes and smiling as he and his teammates ready for battle. His cocky attitude is just as fitting (and perhaps annoying for his fellow League members) on the battlefield as it is in the mess hall and I’m excited to see how his teammates react. Batman and Wonder Woman seem hard and serious in the DC cinematic Universe, so it will fall to Momoa to make sure the audience is smiling in the middle of what will likely be a dark and dour movie.

Tell me this guy isn’t holding his breath underwater

Guy might look like a bad ass biker type when he’s on land and all but why the fuck do I care about Aquaman when he’s on land? Guy looks like he’ll choke and drown if I pinch and hold his nose. As an Aquaman, you kinda lose all respect if you can’t breathe underwater. Not to mention Marvel has been kinda hinting at having their water guy Namor being introduced into the MCU as well and I’m not ruling him out for Infinity Wars. But as of now, you can’t have a guy that can’t breath underwater, who plays a king of water, as a reason it’s suppose to be better than a billion dollar franchise. Do better.

4.) Intro to the New Gods

The New Gods are a group of cosmic beings in the DC Universe created by the legendary Jack Kirby.
These New Gods emerged after Ragnarok (the death of the old gods) and quickly developed roles for themselves. All of them originally lived together, but now they have splintered and find themselves living on two separate planets. Highfather leads the people of New Genesis while Darkseid controls the inhabitants of Apokolips as the two groups compete for power and influence across the universe.
Not only are they mythical creatures with magical power, they also belong to technologically advanced societies. Their technology has often bled over into Earth and the presence of the mother box in the Justice League trailers provides a hint that the New Gods will be featured somehow. Rumors even point to Cyborg being integrated with New God technology, making it more likely that they will become key players for the DC cinematic universe soon. Plus, if the Justice League is prepping to take on Darkseid, the New God equivalent to Hades, they are likely going to need the help of Orion, his oldest son and one of the League’s strongest members, to defend Earth.
For people searching for a good entryway into the New Gods, look out for Tom King and Mitch Gerads upcoming Mister Miracle 12-issue series set to debut in August. It was only announced last week and it’s already my most anticipated comic of the year. Hopefully Mister Miracle will make his big-screen debut in future Justice League movies as the battle with Darkseid becomes more established.

From what I gather this means that they introduce aliens with god like strength and it bleeds into earth? So Stark tech mixed with Chitari tech mixed with a little Thor? And all of this is based on rumors instead of what’s been released plot wise? Are you allowed to count hypotheticals as solid reasons? No. I hypothetically could have sex with a billion girls, doesn’t mean my sex count is higher than Gosling.

3.) War between Atlantis and Amazon

It’s already been established that the movie will feature a prologue from the past featuring Atlanteans and Amazonians competing over a mother box lost on Earth, but I hope there is more conflict for these two groups in the future. Both groups consider themselves above the rest of the world and that type of sureness can only be accepted by the other side for so long before they snap and start fighting. It’d also be really cool if we learn that these two groups have been locked in eternal skirmishes and a lot of natural events can be blamed on their conflicts. Imagine if the burning of Pompeii or the sinking of the Titanic weren’t caused by natural disasters but instead by dangers presented whenever the King of Atlantis and Queen of Thymsceria battled.
After the Justice League takes down Darkseid in a future movie, I want to see a movie focusing on a war between Amazonia and Atlantis. Not only will it feature some crazy action sequences that show two distinct, advanced civilizations squaring off, but it will put the team in the middle of an emotional conflict without an obvious moral choice to make. Wonder Woman and Aquaman, who should be the focus of whatever movie finally touches on this conflict, will both have to choose between their old friends/families and their new teammates as they try to dissolve the tension and stop the fighting.

This is all this list is, future events that may or may not happen. Yea if Marvel can pull any story line from their past that will be epic I’m sure they could, but they also gotta worry about making the movie good. Man of Steel stunk, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice stunk, Suicide Squad was trash. Im sure DC can pump out all they want with a green screen and poorly lit color pallet but I’m siding with the score board here. You want to see 2 advanced civilizations square off? Well I got that. Avengers, Mad war titan Thanos vs one of the best civilizations ever, Humans. We’ve accomplished so much with so little, I’ll never turn my back on Humans.

 

2.) Batman

I know I already briefly mentioned him in this article, but honestly Batman alone is a solid reason to think Justice League could be an amazing movie. In fact, I don’t even think we really need the other League members, we should just have seven Batmen running around.
Throughout his cinematic career Batman has primarily worked alone, but Justice League will finally see him take a leadership position within the superhero community. It doesn’t matter who Batman is fighting against or with, he is always the most dangerous person on the battlefield. For all of Batman V Superman‘s problems, Batman’s fighting abilities were awesome to watch. Seeing him zip away from Superman’s laser or easily take down Luthor’s thugs are things I want to see expanded upon in Justice League. I want to see Batman run fist-first into a group of Parademons and emerge unscratched on the other side. Batman is simultaneously the brains and the brawn, and it will be interesting to watch him slowly develop a team and expand upon his desire to play with others.
He might not be the hero we need, but Batman is always the hero we deserve and I can’t wait to see him kick some alien ass.

The second line of this is basically them saying they dont want a Justice League movie, rather a Batman one. Now I like Batman for the most part. Nolan’s Batman movies are awesome and are top tier comic book movies that I can’t dispute. But man fuck that guy. Always dealing with issues abotu his dead parents. The Martha bit in BvS was honestly a joke that kinda feels like jumped the shark but in the end when you break it down, would you give an ISIS leaders a pass because they shared the same name as your mom? No. And people think Superman was fucking lucky being unstoppable strong and fast with all the power in the world to dominate, well fucking same deal with Batman. They just always end up writing him as the best. Some how he’s fast enough to zip away from a laser at high speeds? He’s always the master of the strategy even though u can plop him in space and oh yea he had a space suit ready just because he’s batman. The Writers made him a cheap fuck and I wont stand for it anymore. He might be the Brain but you can’t say he’s the brawn when he himself technically like a small fraction of Superman’s strength. But oh he invented some thing that made him stronger and had it ready just like that so he can pull it out of his pants pocket. Fuck that guy. Im glad his parents are dead.

1.) Darkseid

A lot of you may think DC is copying Marvel by featuring a giant purple alien as the big baddy in the background, but Thanos is actually a direct copy of Darkseid.
Darkseid is the tyrannous leader of Apokolips, a planet that has been ravaged by war and destruction. He leads an extremely militant society and views everyone as an extension of himself and the state he has world he has built. His control over the dangerous anti-life equation bends people to his will and serves as his most powerful weapon as he tries to expand his reign across the universe. His goal will be achieved only when free will is wiped away from the universe and everyone works for and serves Darkseid’s image.
Darkseid views other deities as a threat and has been known to murder New Gods, Greek Gods and Olympians just to secure his own position. His intense power makes him a huge threat and he has no problem taking Superman down single-handedly. While his uncle Steppenwolf is the main villain in Justice League, played by Game of Thrones alum Ciaran Hinds, expect to see Darkseid plotting in the background as he lays the groundwork for a full-scale invasion of Earth.

You think I give a fuck who was made first or who copied who? Who showed up on screen first and better? Thanos. Let’s just go with what will happen in the cinematic universes, Thanos get’s a glove that can erase the universe from existence. Darkseid is after some thing to bend people’s will? The Mind Gem in the Infinity gauntlet I’m pretty sure can do that alone. Darkseid = Trash. Thanos is better/ he’s being played by Josh Brolin/ Kelly T., a lady who cut my hair once in Boston, also cut Josh Brolin’s hair. Me and Thanos having the same Hairstylist once makes him better alone.

 

Sometimes When You Try To Rob A Guy’s House, You’re Ragdolled By A 3 Ton Pickup Truck

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I hate how our legal system isn’t perfect, case and point, I know that this guy is going to get in trouble some how because he shoved a moving vehicle up a guys asshole until their spine gave out probably, but this should 100% be legal. Like as long as the guy’s not dead its not manslaughter right? Maybe attempted vehicular manslaughter but frankly as long as these burglars can breathe and are alive, I don’t think smashing into them with a moving vehicle is beyond the scope of what’s fare. Like if you’re a criminal it should be pirate rules. You steal my loot, I’m allowed to attempt to run you over in my pick up truck. That’s the legal system I want. A judge in court might rule it as excessive. In my mind, its fair. Pirate rules.

p.s- this is some weird fancy house with a garage in the living room? And how about the motorcycle person who just casually parks their bike and drops their helmet off and runs up stairs to take a pee or something. Its 2017, pull out your cell phone when you see some one get bucked 5 feet across your garage from a pick up truck and an attempted robbery just happened in front of your face.

Science News: Hot Scientist Aren’t Taken As Seriously As Ugly Scientist

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ITV- Beautiful scientists may draw a crowd but are seen as less academically able than their less attractive colleagues, researchers in Cambridge have found.
It is thought the good looks of former musician and TV physicist Brian Cox and anatomy expert Alice Roberts may have played a big part in their roles as science communicators.
But, if the results of a study by psychologists at Cambridge University are to be believed, neither are rated as highly competent scientists by members of the public.
Lead researcher Dr Will Skylark, from the Department of Psychology, said he wanted to find out what impact good looks had on the perception of scientists.
“Given the importance of science to issues that could have a major impact on society, such as climate change, food sustainability and vaccinations, scientists are increasingly required to engage with the public.
“We know from studies showing that political success can be predicted from facial appearance, that people can be influenced by how someone looks rather than, necessarily, what they say. We wanted to see if this was true for scientists.”
– Dr Will Skylark, University of Cambridge.
In the first of a series of trials, volunteers were shown photos of more than 300 British and American scientists and asked to rate them for intelligence and attractiveness.
Other groups of participants then indicated how keen they would be to know more about what each scientist did, and whether they thought the academics were likely to be carrying out accurate and important research.
People were more interested in learning about the work of scientists who were seen as physically attractive and who appeared “competent and moral”.
But when it came to judging scientific ability, having an attractive face counted against the researchers. The better looking and more sociable they were perceived to be, the less they were expected to be conducting high-quality research.

That is about the warmest take ever to come out of the science world. Hey smart guy, no shit we don’t take hot scientist as seriously. Next you’re gonna tell me a new study was conducted only to find out scientist aren’t funny. Its as clear as day.

Here’s the scenario, you tell me the we’re all going to die unless we do so and so.

You can tell me the first person to die on earth is my mother and the thing is my first reaction would be me wondering what it would be like to cum on your glasses and what it’s like to motor boat your T’s. And this is the same for hot scientist bros too. Real like Brad Pitt scientist from World War Z can tell a chick there’s no hope and that she’s gonna turn into a zombie and the fact of the matter is the first thing on her mind is that she want’s to ride you.

I’ve said it before when writing the review for Arrival. Jeremy Renner just isn’t a scientist. Not a real one at least. They don’t have time to get hair cuts when they’re busy studying dirt. Scientist if anything eat junk food, stare at computer screens and microscopes until their eyes bleed and see the opposite sex as coworkers only. That’s how life works. It creates a fair balance. You think I can compete with a guy who’s 6’3 muscular, and knows how to cure aids? Fuck no. Pound for pound Stephen Hawking can probably create a black hole in his office but I think i could make a girl laugh, if not, at least go with her for a charming little walk in the park and talk about real life things. That’s the trade off. You can be smart and a nerd and save the world, but you can’t be hot also. You can be a 6’3 quarter back that has talent and makes money, but you’re also probably a dummy meat head and can’t deal with real life stuff because you have agents and managers handle things for you. If you’re a hot scientist, you’re probably not smart enough to particle accelerate atoms and shit. Balance.

Universal Studios To Roll Out Remakes Of Classic Monster Movies Titled “The Dark Universe”

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Universal Pictures is bringing its roster of classic movie monsters back to the forefront with its newly named Dark Universe series — the long-promised web of films kicking off with The Mummy this summer. The next film in the series to hit theaters will be Bride of Frankenstein on Feb. 14, 2019.

Universe has ditched its previous plans to release a Dark Universe movie in 2018 and will instead focus on the 2019 Bride of Frankenstein, which will be directed by Beauty and the Beast’s Bill Condon. There are no details on who will play the titular role, though Universal Pictures chairman Donna Langley called the movie a story about “a very modern woman in a very classic tale.”

As for other characters in the cinematic universe, Johnny Depp and Javier Bardem are already onboard to play the roles of The Invisible Man and Frankenstein’s Monster, respectively, while Russell Crowe is making his debut as Dr. Jekyll in The Mummy. The cast for that film also includes Tom Cruise as the lead and Sofia Boutella in the role of the mummy. According to Universal, the films are connected by the “mysterious, multi-national organization” Prodigium, specifically led by Dr. Jekyll.

In a video released on its website and Twitter, Universal teased a retrospective of the classic films to build hype for its “new world of gods and monsters.”

Every Head studio Exec in Hollywood right now in board meetings:

Wild news coming out of Hollywood. Honestly didn’t think to consider the fact that The Mummy coming out next month would be part of a shared movie universe. Honestly thought it was more of a Tom Cruise was tired of fighting The Syndicate in the MI franchise and wanted to up the action by fighting mystical monsters like ancient Egyptian mummy gods or whatever. I was gonna go see it but didn’t really take an interest in it till now knowing that it’s suppose to be a small part of a larger franchise and then I looked at the cast and realized Russell Crowe was going to be Doctor Jekyll.

This might be Hollywood getting out of hand and some could say it’s ruining movies. It is getting kind of annoying having to spend money to watch a movie that’s poorly written because it has to share things and lead into things for other movies that’s gonna come out. Its almost like the idea of writing a movie in mind for a sequel except the sequel has almost nothing to do with this one. Almost. If they do it well enough and cover enough of the primary story I could care less. Iron Man 2 alluded to Thor in an end credit. If that’s all there is, little easter eggs, bring it on. But if half way through The Mummy Tom Cruise is speaking to Doctor Jekyll and then half way through morphs into Mr. Hyde and bounces out and we’re just left with that then Id be pissed.

 

If You Find A Rattle Snake, You Probably Shouldn’t Attempt To Kiss It

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BOSTWICK, Fla. (WSVN) — A north Florida man had to be airlifted after a rattlesnake bit him on the tongue Tuesday.
Neighbors told Fox 30 that Ron Reingold was attempting to kiss the rattlesnake when it bit and critically injured him.
Charles Goff told the station he found the snake Monday night in Bostwick, about an hour south of Jacksonville. Since he said he knows how to handle snakes, Goff put it in a tank. But he said some of his neighbors tried to play with the reptile, with disastrous results.
“The next morning before I got up, they were playing with the snake,” Goff said. “One boy said, ‘I’m going to kiss it in the mouth,’ and the snake bit him in the face.”
Reingold had to be airlifted to a local hospital, where he was listed in critical condition, according to Putnam County Fire Rescue.
Family members said Reingold is showing signs of improvement and is expected to survive.
“Ron was just acting silly, you know? I guess he said he could kiss the devil and get away with it, but evidently he didn’t,” Goff told Fox 30.
Goff said he believes his neighbors let the snake go after it bit Reingold.
“So the snake is still out here running around somewhere,” he said.

In what world is it cool to have kids dancing around a basement loaded with exotic untamed animals and especially ones known for their venom and striking ability? In what world is that fine? Like we know when we buy a gun we’ll get scrutinized by media telling us we need at least a gun safe that’s thick enough to survive lava and has locking features that require things like retinal scanners and voice pattern recognition to the point where you can’t even get your gun out for whatever situation. Mean while this fuck has pythons and pit vipers slithering around his living room letting people play around with it like it’s a teenage puppy. Trying to kiss it in the mouth like letting a puppy lick you face except this guy probably has no more lips now. We’ve all seen photos every now and then what happens when you get bit by one of these fuckers. All your nerves just dying at rapid pace. RIP to this guy’s face but that’s also what you get for trying to kiss a Rattle Snake. An Animal that has absolutely ZERO pro stories to it’s name ever through out history. Zero. You get what you deserve.

There’s So Much Pressure Marrying A Japanese Princess Who Will Become A Commoner The Second She Says “I Do”

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DailyMail- A Japanese princess will give up her royal status when she marries a beach tourism worker she met in a restaurant.
Princess Mako, the granddaughter of Japan’s emperor, is getting married to ocean lover Kei Komuro who can ski, play the violin and cook, it has been claimed.
The man who won the princess’ heart, was a fellow student at International Christian University in Tokyo, where Princess Mako, 25, also graduated.
Once they say ‘I do’, she will lose her status – despite being Emperor Akihito’s granddaughter – as Japanese tradition dictates and become a commoner.

Yo Kei Komuro, you better have the goodest dick in at least all of japan to be able to be okay with letting Princess Mako become a commoner. This isn’t like marrying a little outside of your tax bracket, It’s taking her from the highest position possible and turning her into a low life poor person with no royal connections ever again. That’s giving up a lot for your tour guide ass. He’s not some ripped hot bod ninja guy, not rich, not a respectable job. Is he funny? maybe? But that alone isn’t worth giving up royalty for. Also quick note of advise if I were Princess Mako here. Have guards at his doors and 24 hour surveillance leading up to the wedding. Enormous amount of pressure is probably caving down on him the second her parents were enthused about her marrying a bum. And I get it on their part, when there’s royalty at play you gotta do what you can to claim the throne. If this girl wants to give up that royalty life then go ahead, no ones stopping her. But he knows once she steps into the normal life and just becomes Mrs. Mako the fairy tale illusion goes away and she’s waiting in line for her sushi coffee order and pays the same amount as the bums and that’s it. That’s life as non royalty and it sucks.

Cue The In-N-Out Fan Boy Outrage When It Falls As The Number 2 Ranked Burger

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I never pay attention to these polls cause they’re all dumb but man o man does it feel satisfying to have In-N-Out fall from grace into the number 2 spot. And listen, I’ve never had In-N-Out. I’m sure its a tasty burger for a decent price, but what I’m saying is that it’s over rated as fuck. A good burger doesn’t need much, a bun, beef, cheese, some toppings etc. Let me walk into your burger establishment and say I want a Cheese burger or a hamburger. What I don’t want is a busy ass place with over privileged California kids say “Oh I want a triple triple triple animal style and blah blah blah it’s lit suh dude.” All of that is nonsense. Just give me a burger. I don’t want a fancy name. I don’t want a stupid paper hat. I don’t want thousand island dressing on my fries that people get because it’s on a “secret menu” that every one in the state of California, with the highest population of all 50 U.S. states totaling to over 38 million people, know. If I live in Cali, I get it. Its a good burger at a good price. But coming from me here, I’m tired of all the assholes that say its the best with it’s gimmick menu and over complicated ordering process. And I might just go to Five Guys tonight just to rub it in their faces.

 

SIDENOTE- Steak n Shake falling to number 10 is criminal. I get it’s not a Burger but the frsico melt is so dangerously good that if we technically add melts to the burger category it should wipe out half the competition. And then some of the diversity there. The Guac burger, the Wisconsin buttery that is an instant heart attack. Delicious. Smashburger is trash, Sonics was one of the worst fast food experience in my life time and that includes shitting my pants almost immediately after having a breakfast buritto from McDonalds. Steak n Shake should be like 5 on the list.

High Schoolers Voluntarily Get Pepper Sprayed For Their Criminal Science Class

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Yo shout of the girl in the middle who apparently has eyeballs that can withstand xenomorph blood.

I’ve never personally experienced pepper spray directly in my face but I imagine its like squirting a lemon into your eyes times a billion. Maybe she just has the worlds most impenetrable eye lids on the face of the earth that’s keeping it from seeping into her pupils, I dont know. But either way, she has some balls compared tot he rest of them. I know my reaction would probably be something similar to these guys.

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All of them looking like a hawk just ripped their eyeballs from their head and I don’t blame them one bit. I mean this shit is for stopping criminals in their track. Getting your eyes fucked with can reduce The Hulk into a whimpering baby on the floor probably.  But not that one chick. Bitch is just so stone cold taking pepper spray to the eyes like its nothing.

Hackers Are Supposedly Holding A Disney Movie For Ransom

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Bloomberg– Walt Disney Co. Chief Executive Officer Bob Iger said hackers claim to have stolen an unreleased film and are threatening to distribute it online if they aren’t paid a ransom. The company is declining to do so.
Iger made the comments Monday in a town-hall meeting with ABC staff before the network’s fall season presentation to advertisers Tuesday in New York. A Disney spokesman declined to comment on the threat.The alleged extortion attempt to a string of cybercrimes that are rattling industries from financial services to health care. Last week cyberattackers infected more than 200,000 computers around the world with so-called ransomware, encrypting their files and demanding payment to release the data. Hospitals in the U.K. were among the targets of what one government official there called the “biggest criminal cyberattack in history.”
The threat received by Disney is similar to one encountered last month by Netflix Inc., in which hackers stole unreleased episodes of the company’s hit “Orange is the New Black.” Netflix declined to pay any ransom and the shows were leaked online. Variety and other outlets reported that hackers apparently obtained the show through a breach at a post-production company.

Yo fuck these cyber criminals. They’re just in it for the potential money. What happen to the type of hackers that did it to fuck over billion dollar enterprises. If these Hackers had any balls they would say fuck the money and just release it. Prove to Disney that they got it so next time they won’t even question handing over the money. Not to mention If you’re a hacker that good can’t you hack some bank? That’s the kind of hacker id be afraid of. One that can change the global economy like in Live Free or Die Hard type shit.  Yea I don’t want Anonymous taking what little money I have left in my back account and shit but If they did I would respect them more. But all of that is besides the point right now. The real question is what movie do they possibly have? Cause if they have like the next Star Wars ready to be pirated across the internet, I will in fact find a way to jump on the dark web and look for it. The Dark Web is a scary place and navigating it along the way I might end up buying heroin and illegal firearms or even put a hit out on someone, but if there’s a little chance that the next Billion dollar franchise movie is out there for me to torrent, I have to at least give it a look.