Tag Archives: Zoo

Lion Mauls The Shit Out of A Zoo Keeper In A Nearly PERFECT Youtube Video

Yo my face light up for a second when I clicked play. Like became the happyest dude on the planet. Not because this dude most certainly is probably dead from a caged lion mauling the shit outta him. But for the fact that all of this is going down with the fucking Mortal Kombat theme song playing in the background. The second i heard those techno house beats go down I said to myself “This is perfection.”  If it were the case I couldn’t even blame the lion. It’s on the house DJ. I mean between a wild beast begin contained and a man who thinks he has control over a lion squaring off with him, the second that song plays they’re triggered. Alas, it had to be ruined by some shitty slowed down dance house whatever version of the song. But still picture it. The synthesizers slowly playing as this guy is squaring off with the lion like any regular zoo keeper. You here over the speakers “Test Your Might” while he’s dancing around the cage as the music begins…… MORTAL KOMBAT! **Guy proceeds to get his brain clawed out of his eyeballs** “MORTAL KOMBAT”

Azalea The Female Chimp Who Smokes A Pack A Day Is All The Rage In Pyongyang Zoo

PYONGYANG, North Korea (AP) — Pyongyang’s newly opened zoo has a new star: Azalea, the smoking chimpanzee. According to officials at the newly renovated zoo, which has become a favorite leisure spot in the North Korean capital since it re-opened in July, the 19-year-old female chimpanzee, whose name in Korean is “Dallae,” smokes about a pack a day. Dallae is short for azalea. They insist, however, she doesn’t inhale. Thrown a lighter by a zoo trainer, the chimpanzee lights her own cigarettes. If a lighter isn’t available, she can light up from lit cigarette if one is tossed her way. Though such a sight would draw outrage in many other locales, it seemed to delight visitors who roared with laughter on Wednesday as the chimpanzee, one of two at the zoo, sat puffing away as her trainer egged her on. The trainer also prompted her to touch her nose, bow thank you and do a simple dance. The zoo is pulling in thousands of visitors a day with a slew of attractions ranging from such typical fare as elephants, giraffes, penguins and monkeys to a high-tech natural history museum with displays showing the origins of the solar system and the evolution of life on Earth. Another of the most popular attractions that might come as a surprise to foreign visitors is the dog pavilion, which has everything from German shepherds to Shih Tzus. The zoo also has performances featuring other animals trained to do tricks, including a monkey that slam dunks basketballs, dogs trained to appear as though they can do addition on subtraction on an abacus and doves that fly around and land on a woman skating on an indoor stage. Renovations for the new zoo began in 2014, as part of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un’s efforts to create more modern and impressive structures and leisure centers around the capital. The zoo actually dates back to 1959, when Kim Il Sung, the nation’s first leader and the grandfather of Kim Jong Un, ordered it built on the outskirts of the city. According to its official history, the zoo started off with only 50 badgers.

PYONGYANG, North Korea (AP) — Pyongyang’s newly opened zoo has a new star: Azalea, the smoking chimpanzee.
According to officials at the newly renovated zoo, which has become a favorite leisure spot in the North Korean capital since it re-opened in July, the 19-year-old female chimpanzee, whose name in Korean is “Dallae,” smokes about a pack a day. Dallae is short for azalea.
They insist, however, she doesn’t inhale.
Thrown a lighter by a zoo trainer, the chimpanzee lights her own cigarettes. If a lighter isn’t available, she can light up from lit cigarette if one is tossed her way.
Though such a sight would draw outrage in many other locales, it seemed to delight visitors who roared with laughter on Wednesday as the chimpanzee, one of two at the zoo, sat puffing away as her trainer egged her on. The trainer also prompted her to touch her nose, bow thank you and do a simple dance.
The zoo is pulling in thousands of visitors a day with a slew of attractions ranging from such typical fare as elephants, giraffes, penguins and monkeys to a high-tech natural history museum with displays showing the origins of the solar system and the evolution of life on Earth.
Another of the most popular attractions that might come as a surprise to foreign visitors is the dog pavilion, which has everything from German shepherds to Shih Tzus. The zoo also has performances featuring other animals trained to do tricks, including a monkey that slam dunks basketballs, dogs trained to appear as though they can do addition on subtraction on an abacus and doves that fly around and land on a woman skating on an indoor stage.
Renovations for the new zoo began in 2014, as part of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un’s efforts to create more modern and impressive structures and leisure centers around the capital. The zoo actually dates back to 1959, when Kim Il Sung, the nation’s first leader and the grandfather of Kim Jong Un, ordered it built on the outskirts of the city.
According to its official history, the zoo started off with only 50 badgers.

This is the difference between America and other countries. Sick and tired of all the bullshit outrage America starts. Yea I get it, smoking causes lung cancer. We’ll get a million talk shows about the subject and people lobbying congress over it. North Korea on the other hand gives a loosey to a chimp until she becomes a habitual smoker and it becomes all the rage. Their dictator leader might be a sham and may be looming on the start of the next world war but they don’t care to focus on those things when they’re too busy hysterically laughing at Azalea touching her nose and smoking a pack a day.

Compared to the rest of the zoo attraction though, I could see how this is a big hit. You guys see what else they got going on at this zoo? This place SUCKS. We want to see tigers and lions and shit at zoo’s. Beast that we normally can’t see do some primal shit like eat meat. Yea some cute animals is fine and this place has some of that, but this zoo originally started with 50 badgers. What the fuck are we suppose to do with that? That’s like just having a bunch of skunks run around. What else do they have? Just a dog park pretty much. We get to look at dogs at home all the time and we play with them everyday. I want my zoo attractions to be more menacing like a gorilla or a cross bred liger that looks like it can swallow me in one bite. That’s why American Zoos are better. We got all the dopest animals. This zoo honestly sucks balls with out cigarette smoking chimp.

P.s- This chimp, if given a gun, is definitely smart enough to shoot all these people. If it knows how to bum a light off of another lit cigarette, guaranteed it can work a hammer and trigger.

Crocodile Gets His Arm Ruthlessly Ripped off

Well fucking A, Zookeeper. Maybe throw more than one chicken in the feeding pit filled with hungry primordial like dinosaur of a reptiles and you wont have your talent that bring in money to your zoo eating each others arms off. Is that the plan here? Just slowly let these crocs murder each other? I mean its just got one bum wheel now but theres no way that its gonna survive in the yard with a bunch of other crocs that got all 4 of their legs working. I mean they only had one chicken to feed, I kinda think their play here is to let them all just fuck up the croc till nothings left but bones. Fucking food chain, circle of life, and nature all come into play here.

Either way that audience kinda got their moneys worth. Normally you go to a zoo and its a lot of animals just sitting their. Well not this place. Sure you kinda put your life at risk when its a pit full of hungry crocs and only separated by a janky metal chain link fence that looks like you  can push and slide right under it and get your ass eaten. But that didnt happen so its a win for the spectators and for the zoo. Only loser is that croc that is going to for sure die.

Some Chick White Tiger In India is Getting Pissed Because The Male White Tiger Wont Fuck Her

(NEWSER) – Male tigers are a lot like human men when it comes to sex. They're shy and awkward about their bodies if they haven't spent a lot of time around female tigers. They take libido enhancers when they get older. And, if a partner their own age isn't doing it for them, they consider trading them in for a younger, prettier tiger. BBC News reports India's Alipore zoo is having a difficult time getting its 10-year-old white tiger Vishal to mate. The zoo has tried vitamins and even de-worming him; nothing seems to be working. Experts are blaming the fact that Vishal was born in captivity, meaning he doesn't have much experience with females and might not understand the biological signals his body is sending, according to the Times of India. Plus, Vishal is at the outer limits of breeding age for tigers. This is apparently frustrating to Rupa, a female white tiger the zoo has assigned to breed with Vishal. While in heat, Rupa will chase, touch, and scratch Vishal, but he "runs away with his tail between his legs," a veterinary consultant tells the Times. Zoo staff have been trying to mate the two tigers for six months, and it's important they succeed because the zoo's tiger population is getting older and hasn't had a birth in more than a decade. Now, staff are considering trying Vishal out with a much younger Bengal tiger named Rani, who is described as having "a very beautiful face," the BBC reports. Ouch, Rupa.

(NEWSER) – Male tigers are a lot like human men when it comes to sex. They’re shy and awkward about their bodies if they haven’t spent a lot of time around female tigers. They take libido enhancers when they get older. And, if a partner their own age isn’t doing it for them, they consider trading them in for a younger, prettier tiger. BBC News reports India’s Alipore zoo is having a difficult time getting its 10-year-old white tiger Vishal to mate. The zoo has tried vitamins and even de-worming him; nothing seems to be working. Experts are blaming the fact that Vishal was born in captivity, meaning he doesn’t have much experience with females and might not understand the biological signals his body is sending, according to the Times of India. Plus, Vishal is at the outer limits of breeding age for tigers.
This is apparently frustrating to Rupa, a female white tiger the zoo has assigned to breed with Vishal. While in heat, Rupa will chase, touch, and scratch Vishal, but he “runs away with his tail between his legs,” a veterinary consultant tells the Times. Zoo staff have been trying to mate the two tigers for six months, and it’s important they succeed because the zoo’s tiger population is getting older and hasn’t had a birth in more than a decade. Now, staff are considering trying Vishal out with a much younger Bengal tiger named Rani, who is described as having “a very beautiful face,” the BBC reports. Ouch, Rupa.

I feel bad for my boy, Vishal here. Guy’s going through a mid life crisis and here Rupa is just making things worse by chasing and scratching him trying to get him to fuck her only thinking about her own needs. I bet Vishal thinks to him self that he’s like 10 years old already and doesnt know if he can raise a kid anymore. Maybe he’s just not cut out for father material. I mean christ, he was bred in captivity. Guy didn’t get to experience wild tiger ass and never got to experience being on his own. And now he’s probably put on a few pounds drinking more and more and not feeling him self and he knows he can’t put on quite the performance. Its a sad cycle of life. Hey Rupa you bitch, sympathize with my man here a little. Quit thinking about your needs. Maybe one day give him a wake up beej or something fun. Something to spark his confidence and spark his libido naturally. I mean he’s taking vitamin viagra for you for christ sakes. Im sure once its all said and done he’ll be the man you want him to be but right now he needs a little spark. He doesnt need you clawing him and leaving him for another younger hotter tiger just because you want a baby. If anything i hope they double down and get some hot 18 year old equivalent of a tiger who happens to love older tigers and just goes to town on Vishal. You wanna look for younger tiger, Rupa? Well So might my boy Vishal if you want to play that game. Lets see how that affects your confidence.