Dailymail- Thousands of bacteria-infected mosquitoes were released in the wild Tuesday near Key West, testing a new way to kill mosquitoes that carry Zika and other viruses. The Florida Keys Mosquito Control District released 20,000 male mosquitoes infected by the Kentucky-based company MosquitoMate with naturally occurring Wolbachia bacteria. The offspring produced when the lab-bred mosquitoes mate with wild female mosquitoes won’t survive to adulthood. Male mosquitoes don’t bite, and Wolbachia is not harmful to humans. ‘The eggs never even hatch,’ said Stephen Dobson, MosquitoMate’s founder. The infected mosquitoes were flown in cardboard tubes — similar to ones used in paper towel rolls — from Lexington, Kentucky, to Key West on Tuesday morning.
For real Zika’s still a thing? You’d imagine that shit would be dead by now considering no one talks about it and PSA alerts about deformed baby skulls aren’t plastered anywhere anymore but what ever the case I’m okay with this. Gotta get on their level if you want to take em on face to face and what a dastardly way to do it too. It’s kinda like reverse fem-bots from Austin Powers. Instead of sexy robot ladies, we send in hot guy mosquitoes so that the chick mosquito thots get horny and forget about even feasting on human blood. Little do they know is their sperms loaded with shit that’ll kill them before they’re old enough to claim as an independent. Kinda like we’re sending a mosquito version of aids to wipe out other mosquitoes. Kinda fucked up. But what ever, that’s what we get for having intelligent brains, we get to mass genocide insects through sexually transmitted diseases that hopefully wont also eradicate the human race. Sometimes I think about shit like this and aliens and the movie Signs and who knows maybe we can send em a prank box of mosquitoes and next thing you know we can take down an alien ship because none of them fuck with Wolbachia bacteria.
Huffington Post – A pregnant woman in Florida claims she’s making money doing something she has to do anyway ― go to the bathroom. The unidentified woman recently posted an ad on Craigslist saying she is three months pregnant and offering to sell positive pregnancy tests for $25 each ― two for $35 if the customer is traveling more than 60 miles. The ad has since been removed, but a screenshot appears below. The post makes it clear that the woman knows there are lots of potential uses for a positive pregnancy test. But it stresses that she doesn’t care to hear her customers’ particular plans: “Whether you are using it for your own amusement such as a prank, or to blackmail the ceo of where ever who you are having an affair with I DONT CARE AT ALL this is an absolutely no questions asked type of deal tell me what you need I provide it for monetary exchange. I will not overcharge for the urine test but I will not be low balled either do not contact me if you are going to be cheap and difficult.” Jacksonville station WJAX-TV went undercover to contact the woman. An intern met her and handed over a newly purchased pregnancy test. After she’d turned it positive, the reporter appeared to ask questions. The expectant mother agreed to be interviewed as long as she was not identified. “Me being in college, working on a bachelor’s and needing all this money to pay for a degree, this was a no-brainer,” the woman told the station. She added that she can earn about $200 a day urinating.
What a devious move this is huh? I never want to knock the spirit of the American hustle but I also think it’s sheisty as fuck to trick guys into thinking they’re going to become a father/about to have a million more responsibilities in life. Like yea girl if you want to use your body to make money in what ever way shape or form go for it. Sell blood, harvest an organ in Mexico, sell eggs if that’s a thing. But none of those things are potentially and probably going to be used to swindle a boyfriend into thinking he’s about to lose his entire life of freedom because of one mistake. And yea sure just as a prank that could be fine but theres a ton of chance its going to be used to trick dudes into thinking they’re going to become a father. This is not some Spencer gifts type joke pregnancy test that you could buy at the mall that looks comically fake and pops out confetti. Its like a real life pregnancy test with pregnancy piss all over the thing and a giant “+” on it. Besides it’s not like shes raking in hundreds of thousands. Its like 25 bucks. Morally that can’t be kosher right? To potentially black mail people at the low low cost of 25 bucks? Just not worth it.
Daily Mail- A serial prankster’s luck has ended in a moment of poetic justice when he was punched to the ground and shot after attempting to film himself scaring a pedestrian. Vladimir Tzapaev runs a YouTube channel which showcases videos of himself dressing up in costume and jumping out at young women walking the streets at night. But his latest prank – all of which was caught on film – backfired spectacularly when a young man refused to be cowed and fought back. The alarming incident happened in the city of Nizhniy Novgorod in the Novgorodskaya Oblast region in western Russia, where Mr Tzapaev is well known for his pranks. But this time the prankster admitted he thought his time was up when he saw his victim pulling out a gun. He said: ‘When I saw the gun I thought this is the end. Luckily, it turned out to be a [gas powered] one.’ His leg was not seriously injured, but he has refused to alert police as he knows he brought it on himself and it will be difficult tracking down the man who shot him. Viewers had varying opinions. YouTube user Julia Silantieva said she thought it was unacceptable to hit the prankster and then shoot him. However stated that the prankster should have something better to do than scaring people on the streets. Mr Tzapaev has refused to let the incident phase him – he claims he plans on continuing his pranks.
Ahhh lets create wide spread panic and mass hysteria and frighten someone to the point where they can have a heart attack and be potentially traumatized for life! Its gonna be so funny! Listen people range, man. All different walks of life. You don’t know who the fuck you’re pranking. All those god damn killer clown pranks, what if the person you’re pranking was like rapped by John Wayne Gacy? I know im pretty care free in this world and a silly prank is not worth dying over but interrupting people’s lives all so you can make a Youtube video is such a god damn asshole move i wouldn’t even bat an eyelash if someone killed you. Like maybe in a place where everybody is happy go lucky and you know they wont hold grudges you can pull pranks but like we’ve seen pranks where kids pretend to rob you or pretend to drug a girl to rape her. Where the fuck is the punch line in that? Look if i see someone ruffie a drink, im gonna charge at them and lower a shoulder into their spine to stop them if i have to. If i see a clown chasing me, my first instinct isn’t gonna be that its a prank, its gonna be to shoot that motherfucker in the feets and then torture his ass cause he’s like a terrorist.
The truth is im not even THAT mad at Vladimir the prankster here, but this bitch defending him, Julia Silantieva. Listen Vladimir at least knows he brought this upon himself to be an asshole and get shot with bbs. Like does Julia Silantieva here not realize that the person was defending himself and didn’t realize it was a prank? GTFO here Julia, if you thought your life was in danger you wouldn’t wait to get potentially murdered to find out if it was a prank or not before you start panicking.
Metro- One cunning Manchester United fan has played a ruthless prank on an unsuspecting Arsenal supporter hoping to buy a DVD. Loyal Gooner Sam bought an Arsenal season review DVD on eBay to watch back their 2009-2010 season, preparing himself to sit down and reminisce about the days when Robin van Persie, Cesc Fabregas, Thomas Vermaelen and Samir Nasri all wore the Arsenal shirt with pride. But when he went to play the DVD he received a very, very shocking sickening discovery.
But the tale doesn’t end there kids. After bearing the brunt of thousands of tweets laughing at poor Sam for just wanting to watch some Andrey Arshavin in his prime, the evil culprit surfaced:
Im not a soccer guy by any means. I mean we get the soccer culture a lot because South Florida is like a mini united nations for Spanish speaking countries and all those people watch. But i occasionally watch from time to time. That being said, i dont know the rivalries really. All i know is i had a Man U friend for a long time and then this little chick from Bermuda asked what soccer team i would follow and i said Man U and she told me “Fuck outta here with that” because she was an Arsenal fan. Well guess what, Arsenal fans? Man U, Robin Van Persie, and @obviously_jack just troll slapped you with their dick from that ebay purchase. O Jogo Bonito, Bitches.
Sidenote- Robin Van Persie is one of the only names i know and love. Dude’s a good lookin dude and puts balls in the net. Aside Team USA its Team Netherlands for me.
Source- Moviegoers in Newport Beach ran from what they thought was a chainsaw-wielding attacker after a small group burst into a crowded theater and revved the motor of a leaf blower, police said Monday. A few patrons were trampled as panicked viewers fled a showing of “The Gift” at Edwards Big Newport 6 shortly before 11 p.m. on Saturday, Newport Beach police spokeswoman Jennifer Manzella said. No major injuries were reported, she said. Some in the audience thought the theater was being stormed by a gunman, police said. Investigators believe two or three men in their late teens to early 30s intended to scare moviegoers, Manzella said. “It appears they were trying to lead people to believe there was a weapon,” she said. As the nation reels from mass shootings in theaters across the country, most recently in Lafayette, La., Saturday’s scare is “not something we consider just a minor prank,” Manzella said. Authorities said that at least one of the men was in the theater during the movie and opened an exit door so another person could enter with the leaf blower. That man then hoisted the blower over his head, yelled and revved the motor, police said. “Several seconds later, all of the suspects exited the theater through the same emergency exit door,” Manzella said. Police set up a perimeter around the theater complex, but the men had already fled.
Well thats incredibly annoying. I hate pranks. People trying to scare people or piss of people or throw people off of their normal routine are fucking assholes and i hope they get their life nearly beaten the shit out of them. Like If they did this and some movie goer had a gun and just shot him I wouldn’t feel bad for him at all. All those viral prank videos where some fake imposter killer clown is coming after them, you try that around the south and theres a very very strong chance you get shot and deserve it. Movie Theater shootings happen like once a year now. We’re just closing the chapters on the Colorodo theater shooting and you want to just come in and prank a theater during a horror movie, you deserve life in prison. You got people trampled on and ruined a movie going experience. Fuck you.
That being said, i would’ve 100 percent chance knew it wasnt a chain saw. You could just tel by the look. My eyes adjust in the dark fast. i think everyones does. I get it, this was just a product of mass hysteria, but if everyone knew it was a leaf blower and they just stare at the kid like a comedian who said a joke that wasn’t funny and no one got scared at all, that would be kinda funny. Love it when people bomb on stage and want to poop their pants. These ass holes deserve poop in their pants.
Side note- it feels like a cali move to think it was a leaf blower because no chance people in California mow their own lawns.