Tag Archives: The Office

Elliot Friedman Does A Quick Interview With Tom Rowe Regarding Gallant’s Firing

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LINK TO VIDEO HERE

What’s done is done. You can take what you want from this interview. Whether or not Rowe was sincere about Gallant. How it went down. How they would’ve done it differently. Me on the other hand? I’m picturing Gallant and Mike Kelly in a rental car driving from Fort Lauderdale Airport back to BB&T center to clear out their office. The GPS tells them to turn right. Gallant slowly veers right.

Mike Kelly: Gerard, what are you doing?

Gerard Gallant: The GPS says to turn right.

Mike Kelly: It means stay towards the right and go around the canal.

Gerard Gallant: Maybe it’s a shortcut, Mike. It knows where it’s going.

Mike Kelly: It can’t possibly mean that, there’s no road here!

Gerard Gallant: THE MACHINE KNOWS! STOP YELLING AT ME!

** Gerard proceeds to drive into a canal off of 595 **

Gerard Gallant: Everyone always wants new analytics. Everybody likes new corsi, new fenwicks. Hockey players will never be replaced by machines. In the end, life and business and Hockey are about human connections. And computers are about trying to murder you in a lake and getting you fired. And to me the choice is easy.

So yea this is how I’m dealing with this team currently. Molding the scenarios into a hit comedy TV series that’s been off TV for the past 4 years. Boston tonight. Panthers win 5-1.

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Not Really Politics, But Kinda: Ted Cruz Looks Like The Zodiac Killer

He may be in the midst of a bruising presidential election campaign.  But Ted Cruz has now found himself the butt of the jokes on social media, with commentators remarking on his uncanny resemblance to the Zodiac Killer.  Following the debate in Houston last night, people on Twitter joked about how Cruz was in fact the serial killer and a confession was now his only way to defeat Donald Trump.  Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3465422/Ted-Cruz-Zodiac-Killer-Senator-finds-butt-jokes-uncanny-resemblance-California-serial-killer.html#ixzz41HbXp8YM  Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook Public Policy Polling cheekily included the question at the end of their Florida polls and found that 10 per cent of people thought Cruz was the Zodiac Killer, with 28 per cent saying they were 'unsure'. Jim Williams, who put the question on the poll, said: 'People are pretty serious about politics so we like to throw some curve balls to keep things light.'  The 'Is Ted Cruz actually the Zodiac Killer' meme began when an activist used it on T-shirts to support abortion clinics threatened with closure in Texas, where the senator has slashed public funding and supported measures to limit women's access to birth control through their employers or churches.  Cruz, along with rival candidate Marco Rubio, enjoyed a successful night in Houston. Together, they teamed up on the front-runner and unleashed a barrage of attacks on the billionaire.  Cruz challenged Trump's claim that he is the only candidate who will tackle illegal immigration head on.  Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3465422/Ted-Cruz-Zodiac-Killer-Senator-finds-butt-jokes-uncanny-resemblance-California-serial-killer.html#ixzz41HbhKZdE  Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Daily Mail- He may be in the midst of a bruising presidential election campaign.
But Ted Cruz has now found himself the butt of the jokes on social media, with commentators remarking on his uncanny resemblance to the Zodiac Killer.
Following the debate in Houston last night, people on Twitter joked about how Cruz was in fact the serial killer and a confession was now his only way to defeat Donald Trump.
Public Policy Polling cheekily included the question at the end of their Florida polls and found that 10 per cent of people thought Cruz was the Zodiac Killer, with 28 per cent saying they were ‘unsure’.
Jim Williams, who put the question on the poll, said: ‘People are pretty serious about politics so we like to throw some curve balls to keep things light.’
The ‘Is Ted Cruz actually the Zodiac Killer’ meme began when an activist used it on T-shirts to support abortion clinics threatened with closure in Texas, where the senator has slashed public funding and supported measures to limit women’s access to birth control through their employers or churches.
Cruz, along with rival candidate Marco Rubio, enjoyed a successful night in Houston.
Together, they teamed up on the front-runner and unleashed a barrage of attacks on the billionaire.
Cruz challenged Trump’s claim that he is the only candidate who will tackle illegal immigration head on.
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Well that’s politics in 2016 for ya. One second you’re trying to push your republican platform and foreign policies to win the heart of the republican party and next thing you know you’re being compared to an unidentified notorious California murderer from the late 60s. Now am I keeping up with the political race going on? Absolutely not. If I just woke up and you peppered me with political questions about who’s gonna be the next president Id probably say Obama. All of this goes right over my head. But what I do know is that Ted Cruz is taking a beating, not because 100% of America disagrees with his idea on politics, but because the internet is a relentless force that continues to deliver punches to Cruz. I mean first off we had his room mate bashing the shit out of him calling him an asshole in college, and now the people have taking it into their own hands comparing him to the likes of Grandpa Munster and Kevin Malone from the Office. tumblr_o11jlth1Mu1qbn1vmo1_1280Screen-Shot-2015-05-06-at-11.06.00-AM-2

Put a bald cap and gain 40 lbs and him and Kevin Malone are like blood brothers. I don’t even think he looks like the Zodiac Killer, but that might be the best result so far between the three. I mean would you rather people think you look like an old vampire on a CBS comedy sitcom or a character that is pretty much an over weight functioning retard? The answer is definitely  a notorious murderer that no one has ever seen.  I would rather jokes about me murdering 37 people than running over a turtle and trying to glue it back together.

P.s- You know what famous police sketch has always stuck out in my mind? Biggie’s murder suspect. Something about the bow tie and facial hair have always been burned into the back of my skull. Can’t wait till we get a black candidate that looks like him.

Sketch_of_the_suspect

Girl Finds A Tortoise On Land, Tries To Save It By Tossing It Into A Lake. Unfortunately Tortoise SInks To The Bottom

Orlando Weekly- Gopher tortoises don't swim. They sink. However, a recent SnapChat from a Florida woman shows her "saving" a poor gopher tortoise by hurling it into a lake. "Here's a little note to self to anyone who finds a turtle – save it. Don't just leave it on the road. They're so cute," says the woman, holding the doomed reptile.   "Turtle saving is a hobby," she proclaims before sending the little guy to a watery grave.  Apparently Floridians tossing gopher tortoises into water is a recurring problem. This unfortunate turtle death comes only 5 months after a string of incidents where people "helped" tortoises into the ocean. News13 even ran a story titled, "Gopher tortoises don't swim. Don't help them into the ocean." According to the the FWC, gopher tortoises are a threatened species and are currently protected under Florida state law.

Orlando Weekly- Gopher tortoises don’t swim. They sink. However, a recent SnapChat from a Florida woman shows her “saving” a poor gopher tortoise by hurling it into a lake.
“Here’s a little note to self to anyone who finds a turtle – save it. Don’t just leave it on the road. They’re so cute,” says the woman, holding the doomed reptile.
“Turtle saving is a hobby,” she proclaims before sending the little guy to a watery grave.
Apparently Floridians tossing gopher tortoises into water is a recurring problem. This unfortunate turtle death comes only 5 months after a string of incidents where people “helped” tortoises into the ocean. News13 even ran a story titled, “Gopher tortoises don’t swim. Don’t help them into the ocean.”
According to the the FWC, gopher tortoises are a threatened species and are currently protected under Florida state law.

Well it seems like we’re just preaching for animals to be left alone between the Animal activist kidnapping dogs and this foolish little girl thinking she’s doing some good in the world. I hope this rocks her to her very core and it should. Here she was all high and mighty trying to preach to people and pumping her ego and snapchat score with this and probably wants to go viral and on buzzfeed as girl who saves turtle. Well guess what? You murdered that poor fucking tortoise Gambino crime family style swimming with the fishes and you fucking smiled doing it. Listen any testudine creature (big fucking word) are fucking longevity creatures. They just last. They don’t need to see the world at a million miles per hour or from some safe confines. They just exist at the pace they do and they fucking live for like 100 years perfectly fine just doing so. I get your intentions were good with the turtle, but you murdered the sucker. You do you and try to stay out of other animals business or you probably will end up killing it.

I also thought of Kevin Malone in The Office who runs over a turtle and tries to save it but its already dead. Good intention, Poor execution/ decisions/ gluing skills in Kevin’s case.

NFL Started This Past Weekend Which Means We Missed The Ping Pong Match Of the Year

Im planning on writing a Dolphins recap a little later because i was going to do it yesterday except i was coming off of tons of food, beer, and football, but shit, looks like there was a way more impressive game going on and that was between Xu Xin and Zhu Linfeng. I mean that has to be the match of the century right? Shit went 0 to 100 real quick. Simple serve and then chaos erupts running all across the floor trying to track that mother fucking ball. Granted I never watch ping pong but I assume by the way the chinese people were oo-ing and ah-ing that it was a sight to behold. You just know some chinese kid in the stands is wanting to grow up to be just like Xu Xin or Zhu Linfeng, which ever the guy in blue was, you just know it. Some one add their names to the list of greats: Zoran Primorac, Jan-Ove Waldner, Wang Tao, Jorg Rosskopf, Ashraf Helmy, Hugo Hoyama, and Andrzej Grubba

 

First Date Goes Horribly Wrong When The Guy Gets Swept Away In A Storm And Dies.

(NEWSER) – A couple's first date in California's San Bernardino National Forest turned out to be anything but romantic yesterday as the remains of Hurricane Linda sent a storm of heavy rain and hail over the area. While hiking in Forest Falls, east of Los Angeles, the pair became trapped in a flash flood and attempted to cross a waist-deep river runoff hand in hand, a fire official tells NBC Los Angeles. The current soon pulled both underwater and the frantic woman watched as her date was swept away. An off-duty police officer heard her screams and was able to pull her from the water, while another hiker also ran to help. "We just found her in a state of shock," he says. Police called off the search for the Rancho Cucamonga man, 29, when a body was found about a mile from where he vanished, report KABC and CBS Los Angeles. A hiker's backpack was also found. Also in San Bernardino County yesterday, fire officials say they had to rescue an individual whose vehicle was swept away in a flash flood, per the AP. NBC Los Angeles reports a man—it's not clear if he's the same person—exited his vehicle and was swept into a storm drain. He was found alive, though his current condition is unknown. A flash flood warning is still in effect for the area; trees have been uprooted and streets are still filled with water. (This first date also ended badly.)

(NEWSER) – A couple’s first date in California’s San Bernardino National Forest turned out to be anything but romantic yesterday as the remains of Hurricane Linda sent a storm of heavy rain and hail over the area. While hiking in Forest Falls, east of Los Angeles, the pair became trapped in a flash flood and attempted to cross a waist-deep river runoff hand in hand, a fire official tells NBC Los Angeles. The current soon pulled both underwater and the frantic woman watched as her date was swept away. An off-duty police officer heard her screams and was able to pull her from the water, while another hiker also ran to help. “We just found her in a state of shock,” he says.
Police called off the search for the Rancho Cucamonga man, 29, when a body was found about a mile from where he vanished, report KABC and CBS Los Angeles. A hiker’s backpack was also found. Also in San Bernardino County yesterday, fire officials say they had to rescue an individual whose vehicle was swept away in a flash flood, per the AP. NBC Los Angeles reports a man—it’s not clear if he’s the same person—exited his vehicle and was swept into a storm drain. He was found alive, though his current condition is unknown. A flash flood warning is still in effect for the area; trees have been uprooted and streets are still filled with water. (This first date also ended badly.)

RIP Guy. But sometimes nature just forces us to change and as we all know, conventional dating has gone by the way side. Netflix and chill is what dating is all about now a days. I mean im cool with that. Get use and learning about one another over maybe a few episodes of The Office. Picking and choosing what shows to watch and what to laugh at tells a lot more about a person than people lying to each other on a normal date. Its more honest that way and this is natures way of telling these two just that. And off the bat rule number 1, go to a dinner or some place public. Don’t go on a first date with a guy in the middle of a forest, that has a major rapey vibe. What happened to just a nice restaurant or a bar where food brings out the honesty in people. 2, how about checking the weather app next time before you go out period? I mean here in SoFla we kinda expect rain most of the times but we still check when it’ll supposedly rain. Well maybe if you’re going through a tropical storm or hurricane brewing in your backyard, maybe dont make plans fucking hiking that entirely takes place outdoors in a large as fuck remote national forest. You kinda deserve get the that flash flood for that.