Monthly Archives: July 2016

I Feel Awful For This Midget Getting Molly Whopped By This 7 Year Old

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LINK TO VIDEO HERE

Yo man, do these kids have no decency at all? Like yea if they were fake boxing with a kid their age but half a foot smaller i would get it. But like that midget could be 30 for all I know and he’s getting slobber knockered by kids who’s balls haven’t even dropped yet. It’s embarrassing. And sure I would never tell kids to take a dive or take a sympathy punch but at least let the little man throw one or two actual punches to entertain the notion of him possibly winning. Just goes to show how much it sucks being a little person I guess. Get no respect and can’t get anything done. Doesn’t matter if its a small child or Mayweather he’s going against, he was never gonna win.

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Someone Made A Side-By-Side Supercut Of Stranger Things And All The 70’s/80’s Movies They Reference

If you haven’t seen it yet, Stranger Things is the hottest show on Netflix for the summer. Now normally, I hate scary shit or any bit of a thriller. Most of the movies that are referenced I’ve only seen once and never again cause I hate that shit because I’m a pussy. Stranger Things however, if it were an 8 hour movie, Id sit in theaters and watch it opening night. I pretty much did that except it was at home on the bed with a gun in my hand and blanket tucked up to my eyeballs in fear a demogorgon was going to take me to The Upside-Down and eat me. And since, I’ve watched it like 2 more times, each with the same fear and love. I don’t know maybe I just love the 80’s because it was such a special unique time period where people were so hopeful for the future and more advanced than the past, and weren’t ruined by technology. Great time.

Anyways, this guy Ulysse Thevenon made a super cut of Stranger Things and A lot of the classic 70’s/80’s movie that are classics. Pretty spot on when all the reviews are saying it’s like Steven Spielberg meets Stephen King with some 80s mixed in between. A love letter to the supernatural classics of the 80’s is the best way it’s being described and with this supercut, you kinda see why. Simple scenes like riding a bike in a police chase seems like iconic 80’s because of things like E.T. Kinda crazy how they took major elements from all the cult classics and instead of making a blatant rip off, they took all of it and made a refreshing, awesome, unique T.V. Gonna probably binge it again this weekend and I’m gonna love every second of it.

 

 

Screen Rant: Hardcore Henry

Back at it again with another screen rant. Trying to bring these things weekly but i do have another job and actively try to leave my mom’s basement ( jk its Florida, we have no basements). Well last week me and some buddies of mine hit up the Red Box and decided to peep Hardcore Henry.

Over all just a fun summer action flick. Now I’m not big on gimmicks so originally I was gonna bump this down a few pegs because this whole thing was marketed as a gimmick. An entire movie in POV from beginning to end. After watching it, overall, it was a fine action movie. I don’t know if they some how directed it in a certain way but from my viewing experience, the movie started off as a massive head ache five minutes in with this guy fighting and parkour around  some European town, but it paralleled the story line. As the main character was still confused as to whats going on with his robotic ass body, I was confused and experiencing motion sickness but half way through when he gathered his brain together and figured out his plan the POV view situation got better and I stopped having the spins. If that’s what the director was somehow going for I guess good job. I give it a solid 6.5. Story’s a bit of a mess and relied on a gimmick, but worth seeing once.  Also a pretty dope sound track. Now onto some rambling.

POV Sports

Now obviously when you hear POV your brain shoots to one thing only and that’s porn. But other than that, POV is used to bring the 1st person point of view to every day people. I’ve never stepped behind a O-line but if someone made POV concussion safe helmets i can say I’ve kinda been there at least virtually. So me and my buddies went around and discussed witch sport would be fun to watch in POV.

Baseball

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This one was like a 60/40 split on if we thought it would be fun to have Baseball in POV mode. Now If i could be in the place of Stanton and swat balls into Little Havana, that would be pretty fun but at some point you’d run into the same problem as golf where the ball becomes a little speck and then it’s just a view of you running around bases. POV on pitching might not be the best either because those quick turns to try to get the person on 1st out would probably make you jolt your neck and I guarantee after a series of that you’ll probably have a pinched nerve. Probably also some how get Tommy John from pretending to throw nothing but air. So what’s the compromise? Slow-mo POV of the ball being thrown to a person who just mashes. Like a fighter jet doing barrel rolls to David Ortiz followed by a view of the entire crowd or maybe even on an open roof stadium get a view of space at night. Majestic.

Wrestling

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We’re talking about real wresting. You know, WWF/WWE. Olympic wrestling looks boring as shit, and admittedly, I haven’t watched WWE in years so I don’t know the quality of matches they have or if they still have Hardcore matches, but throw it back to the 90’s to 2000 era of wrestling, those would’ve been gold to have some POV views. Imagine pretending to be choke slammed off of the cell. Just staring up at The Undertaker after dropping 20 feet and watch the light go out of your eyes. Exhilarating stuff. TLC matches getting thrown from a ladder into a table? A view of what it’s like to be stuffed into some guys crotch, flipped up ward so you can see the electrified fans in the packed arena rooting for you to die and lifted just so you can be Power Bombed through a Spanish announcers table. It would’ve been awesome. Definitely endorsing POV Attitude era WWF

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Nah.

Sidenote- I want a camera on the face of the goalie every time they get scored on or at the penalty kicks at the end when they realized they jumped dived 15 feet in one direction even though the ball was going the opposite way.

Hockey

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This one was a pretty big debate. Now while on the surface it seems cool to have GoPro’s stuck on hockey players, I actually don’t think I would enjoy watching an NHL game in First Person shooter mode. GoPro signed a deal with NHL to put out videos of players doing tricks and what not and while it was cool, it’s also not an actually game. Sure some people wouldn’t mind taking a Dramamine pill and watch Patrick Kane stick handle over a billion pucks but I would get sick of it, not to mention that doesn’t happen in game. Sure it would be cool to see a person stealing a puck away and scoring on a break away but it’s heads up most of the game and scanning the ice. I just don’t think it would translate well into a full 60 minutes of a hockey game. Not to mention if it were only one one player on the team then 40 of those minutes would be sitting. For me it doesn’t get the cosign

Basketball

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Do you think POV Steph Curry would be good if you can’t tell where his feet are when he’s making a 3? No. You gotta see the distance with all the camera lights going off and people in the stands. I got all I need from the TV and the backboard cam.

Bullfighting

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Not only do I need POV, I need him mic’d up too. Not even a mic for his commentary, I need like their an internal brain mic’d so i hear his thoughts. Must be a rush to watch a 2 ton beast charging at you with their horns aiming for your life. Just repeating “oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck” until you’re pretty much dead. Need to make it happen. And I don’t want to hear all the Peta people being all “Its wrong to watch these innocent creature get murdered for your entertainment” either. Don’t worry guys, when I’m watching POV bull fighting I’m rooting for the bull to win every time.

Boxing

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This is an interesting one but its not really punching in POV mode that we want, its slow mo. We love seeing a face that is structurally supported by a skull become rearranged with a strong right hook. Need to see the details of how their lips flail around and head spinning. We get pretty decent views in slow mo already, POV adds nothing. Swipe left.

Formula 1/ Nascar/ High Speed Racing

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Definitely cosigning this. I mean yea it kind of sucks not being able to see where everyone else is placing currently, but that’s almost not the point of it. I want/need to see a crash. A crash that I hope people walk away from perfectly fine, but a crash regardless. Don’t tell me that’s crass because I’m pretty sure that’s what everyone is there to see at NASCAR events. A fucking car stripped down flying at 100+mph on a slope just waiting to rub wheels with another team and then waiting for all hell to break loose when they cause a 10 car pile up. If that’s not the point of NASCAR then I don’t even want it around anymore. And as far as formula 1 goes, same thing, POV but instead of a designated purpose built track, I just want traffic cones and then an urban city. I don’t remember what the whole plot to the movie Driven is and honestly, I don’t think anyone really does besides it being a movie about a formula 1 driver and his struggles which is all racing movie I think. What people do remember is the main character and Stallone in Formula 1 cars racing through downtown LA or something. That’s what I want, traffic moving, objects in the way, Truck trailers just tall enough so it doesn’t decapitate the drivers. Tell me that wouldn’t be exhilarating POV action. Can only imagine the drama of James Hunt/ Niki Lauda flying around at warp speeds around downtown Miami. In POV none the less.

Sport Fucking

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Dont worry, I’m not sexist, there could be a women’s league too

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Not really a pro sport per se, but more of an adult competition, but a competition none the less. Just your casual afternoon when no ones home, feel like watching something competitive, just put on some POV porn Sport Fucking. Jump behind the eyes of what its like to have awesome sex. See if they sport sex well or not I guess. Who won the sex. Call me crazy but I think this one could be big.

Football

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Everyone wants to be a QB. Just at least once. Make the stellar pass, scramble and still get the 1st down, just flat out being the face of an NFL team. Want the rush of seeing line backers charging at you while you struggle to find someone open. Get Aaron Rodgers some google glasses and let me see what its like to throw a last minute hail mary and let me see what its like to rip the hearts out of all lions fans. POV foot ball would be the pinnacle. Maybe mix in a couple POV receiver shots. Watch some one cut across field and break a tackle to score a touch down. Shit I also want the Refs POV too. I have a nagging suspicion that they miss a call here or there.

IMDB COMMENT SECTION

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Hey PNTPictures, you know why you and I didn’t puke? It’s because we’re not pussies. It would be socially unacceptable to call the guy a pussy straight to his face, but you can’t be puking just from watching a movie. And I’m gonna give a ruling in saying that you’re on the edge of being a pussy, I stared at the movie the whole time. No breaks needed. Does that make me a tough guy hardo? yes, but I’m not spilling my lunch over a 90 minute action movie.

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Well rat_eater, you strike me as the type to play call of duty for 6 hours straight and then think Viet Cong is firing bullets from the tree tops when you step outside for once. Maybe lay off the screens for awhile and go outside.

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Koninji really nailed it with this one. Wow

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Not in the slightest, Sir_Farty_Farts_A_Lot.

 

Does This Look Like The Face Of A Homeless Woman Who Lit her Boyfriend On Fire Because He Didn’t Give Her Drugs

DeLAND, Fla. (AP) — A Florida homeless woman is in Volusia County jail after setting her boyfriend on fire. The Volusia County Sheriff’s office says that 41-year-old Annie Harper doused her boyfriend’s shorts with lighter fluid and then set him on fire. The victim told deputies that they got in an argument and she was mad at him for not providing her with drugs. The incident occurred at a homeless camp in the woods outside of DeLand. Harper is charged with aggravated battery. A second misdemeanor battery charge was added after a witness reported seeing Harper kick the victim, a 34-year old male, as he was lying on the ground naked. The victim was treated at a Daytona Beach hospital before being transferred to a burn unit in Orlando.

DeLAND, Fla. (AP) — A Florida homeless woman is in Volusia County jail after setting her boyfriend on fire.
The Volusia County Sheriff’s office says that 41-year-old Annie Harper doused her boyfriend’s shorts with lighter fluid and then set him on fire. The victim told deputies that they got in an argument and she was mad at him for not providing her with drugs. The incident occurred at a homeless camp in the woods outside of DeLand.
Harper is charged with aggravated battery. A second misdemeanor battery charge was added after a witness reported seeing Harper kick the victim, a 34-year old male, as he was lying on the ground naked.
The victim was treated at a Daytona Beach hospital before being transferred to a burn unit in Orlando.

Nothing to see here. Just your typical 41 year old homeless drug addict and her conflicts with her lover. See this is why when I see homeless people I have to at least consider giving them change. When I’m in the car I make sure the windows are rolled up and doors are locked. But on the street if a vagrant asks me for money, at that second you gotta know your life is up in the air and has no idea which way it’ll fall. Maybe you play it safe, give them spare change, they leave you alone. Maybe you give them change and they follow you asking for more. It’s all a gamble with drug addicted homeless people. Shit who knows maybe her boyfriend could’ve given her drugs and she still could’ve lit his body on fire. You just gotta accept that your gambling with life by talking to a homeless person, not to mention getting in a relationship with one.

Also side note- Is this guy, her boyfriend, homeless too? For some reason I played it out as he lives a shitty life in a crappy dilapidated house, gets a bj from this homeless woman in exchange for drugs and then she proceeds to sleep outside. In that case its just really a prostitution scenario as opposed to a Boyfriend thing. I mean I’m not a big titles person but just saying.

Shootout in Ft. Myers Left 2 TEENS Dead And Over A Dozen Injured.

 

What the fuck is the world coming to these days? Where teens are involved in mass shootings. Teens. This was a party for kids. Only about a month removed from the Orlando Shooting now this. The worlds really becoming a toxic environment when this is the news to wake up to about a place a few hours from home. Thoughts and Prayers with their families of the victims

Recapping The Biggest News At Comic Con (Only The Stuff I Care About).

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Biggest time of the year for entertainment besides sports pretty much. One of these years i always say I’m gonna go and do the full experience. Dress up like one of those weirdos even though in a convention hall packed to the brim and air conditioning working overtime even though everyone still sweats a few gallons because of their ridiculous outfits. I swear once being a nerd becomes full on mainstream and they start having sex there’s gonna be a staph outbreak from all the people sweating on top of each other in batman costumes listening to RDJ talking about reprising his role as Iron Man for the twentieth time. But I’d still go. Some of those anime girls get down. Anyways onto the main shit.

MARVEL NEWS

Doctor Strange

Interesting to say the least. There were rumblings that the MCU wants Dr. Strange to be the next Iron Man of series. That the addition to him is gonna change the shape of the MCU world. Looks funky enough with the Inception like world they’re dicking around in being all magical and shit. I think what the Iron Man, Captain America, and The Avengers movies did so well was grounding the film in the real modern world. It was California, New York, and DC. Nothing looked too silly or out of place and was relatable. I’m not gonna lie, when I first saw they were doing a Dr. Strange movie and figured what all of that was about I was skeptical because now I have to picture a guy floating around NYC like an asshole doing magic tricks and shit. Well so far it doesn’t seem too crazy at all after this trailer. Feels like they’re kind of fighting on a different plane but still within the real world. I mean they’re mishmoshing NYC teleporting and shit with normal people still walking around doing their 9-5 like they pay no mind. Like i picture them like ghost walking among humans where its the earth but they can’t be seen….I’ve gone too far for someone who doesn’t read or know shit about the comic books but what i do know is I will always have feelings for Rachel McAdams.

Thor: Ragnarokpeftdwo7x5cydddtasko

Not gonna lie, I love the look of the logo but I don’t get it. It looks like an 80’s movie or video game from Atari even though this is suppose to be the Apocalypse that kills all of Thor’s people. Ain’t hating on it too much, just curious. Any who, everyone who’s followed knows Thor’s teaming up with Banner for Ragnarok but I guess this is where Marvel is trying to tie in more Planet Hulk story line with this got damn Hulk Gladiator outfit.ZZ5A6C532B-700x725

Never understood why Marvel’s great equalizer would need a shield, war helmet, and a battle axe but I’m not gonna pass judgement till I see the movie. The Thor movie’s and Hulk movie weren’t exactly a cash cow for the MCU, maybe throwing them together in some gladiator, end of the world Jeff Goldblum Grandmaster type shit will bump them up in the charts.

Black Panther

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I don’t think they brought anything new for Black Panther aside from announcing who each actor is playing. Not much else aside from that. Michael B. Jordan is playing the villain to Chadwick Boseman’s Black Panther as the character Erik Killmonger. From the looks of the comics it looks like he’s suppose to have dreads so it’ll be interesting to see how that look plays out. He also looks way more fucking yoked so i guess Adonis Creed is gonna need to pack on the protein.

Spiderman: Homecoming

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Decent little tease going on with some concept art. Guess this is what Vulture is going to look like portrayed by Michael Keaton. After Civil War people loved the portray of this version of Spiderman from the mannerisms to speech. Looks like this rendition of Vulture would be a good match up considering in the comics he looked like a god damn old ass man in a bird suit.latest

Such a ridiculous look, but I think the new one on screen will look good.

Captain Marvel

By the time Captain Marvel comes out these comic book movies might very well become so tired as well as Brie Larson, but for now, they’re hot. Marvel’s about half way through their planned line up and Brie Larson dominating Hollywood. Such a crazy jump. Played a teenager 4 years ago in 21 Jump Street, then she was in the Gambler which stunk and for some reason i kept on thinking her make up looked awful and she had like acne in the movie, I didn’t watch Trainwreck all the way because it sucked but she was in that. Next thing you know she’s an Oscar winner and joins Hollywood’s biggest cash cow studio. Crazy career she’s had. If comic book movies are still fun and she doesn’t look like shes had an acne outbreak, I’m sure ill enjoy Captain Marvel because I kinda loved her in Room.

DC Extended Universe News

Wonder Woman

Far and away I love what Marvel brought to the table so much more than what the DC universe has brought up until recently. I thought Batman V Superman was decent of a movie but didn’t like the look of a lot of it but still elements that I did like. Now I feel like they’re finally catching up a bit. So far the scenes look great from the trailer but it is still a trailer and a great trailer doesnt always mean the film is gonna be good. We saw a bit of Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman in BvS in modern times but I am curious how her story is gonna play out in that time period. Also, Chris Pine, is he a superstar yet? I always feel like he’s on the cusp but never fully there. Almost like he’s living in the Hemsworth Shadow. Guy needs to date a super star or something.

Justice League

Again, looks pretty interesting. Gonna see batman play the role of Nick Fury recruiting the team. Now out of the crew I think Batman and Wonder Woman work the best. Aquaman, I have my gripe with. In BvS he looked like he was holding his breath underwater. I do not know why that annoys me but it does. Guy is suppose to be able to live underwater. He shouldn’t look like he’s holding his breath. It’s crazy but that’s what I’ve come to expect from movies in 2016. Next one is Cyborg. The CGI looks decent but don’t really know how the guy’s suppose to look. At one point he kinda looks like a bunch of shards of a mirror glued all around to make a suit of some sort. Don’t know if i would care to like the character. Last of all is Flash, the suit looks weird on his body but does look kind of interesting. Over all im curious. We know the villain is suppose to be the Steppenwolf dude. As with most of these comic book movies, it’s only as good as the villain so hope that he brings some thing to the table.

Suicide Squad

Not that we haven’t known about Suicide Squad since it’s being released next week but they gave us another look at it. I don’t know, a lot of nerds are super hyped on this. My buddy might go to the opening night of it even though he’s like a recluse . Me personally i could care less. I think Joker looks like a hot topic customer and Jared Leto tries to hard. It’s just not my cup of tea as far as the Joker. He’s not menacing really, just kind of annoying to me. Take away the weapons and he just seems like Jeffree Star. Heath take away the weapons and i feel like he looks like a lunatic that’s gonna ramble about some Machiavelli quotes or something about order and chaos. And as far as Harley Quinn goes, don’t get me wrong, Margot Robbie is lava hot. But I’m not gonna go see a movie just for a hot chick. And again, I hope one day at those comic cons i hope to find those cosplay girls dressed up as Harley Quinn. She alone though can’t make Suicide Squad worth it tho. But I’m not too worried as there’s still Will Smith with a smasher of a line “It’s time to save the world”(will smith voice).

EVERYTHING ELSE

Kong: Skull Island

Two of Hollywood’s hottest actors. On one hand we have Brie Larson who as i said before is like America’s Sweet Heart after playing a rape victim in Room. And then we have Tom Hiddleston who’s banging T Swift. Guy might also become the next bond because he has an English accent and staring in something that makes it seem like he can take on a giant over grown Gorilla probably helps his image as being 007. King Kong in this though, looks fucking huge. Like insanely big. The other ones kinda made him around the size of a small plane, This one looks like he can grip a 747 in his palm. Definitely Curious.

King Arthur

Guy Ritchie’s King Arthur looks exactly like Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes. Sure the period setting is different but still uses the snori cam view, the wit, the color grading etc. I’ll watch it when it goes to Red Box.

Blair Witch

Ed Lee doesn’t do scary shit. Not because its silly, but because I scare easily and I jump and might cry or shriek in theaters and I feel like it takes away from my tough masculine character. That being said though, The Blair Witch Project was awesome because it was a handi cam and they made it seem like all the people in it were dead. Shit was real. This was before IMDB became a house hold tool and definitely before people were flooding SDCC and them announcing that they’re actually not dead and just actors. I need an element of knowing i might be watching dead people or ghost. <—–(That’s also why Heath slayed as the Joker.)

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

What I said about King Arthur looking like Sherlock Holmes because of Guy Ritchie is the same for David Yates, this movie, and the last four Harry Potter movies. Guess that’s okay though since this is like a Harry Potter off shoot. I don’t know anything about it because I don’t like reading books but what i do know is people like Eddie Redmayne because he played a transgender person and spoke out about LGBT issues and that’s whats hot with millennials. They also love Harry Potter and weird and culturally “different” things so this movies probably going to rake. Guy was also pretty good at pretending to be Stephen Hawking.

Sherlock

I don’t really know if people are on Sherlock yet. It’s a BBC show so it obviously doesn’t have as great a reach but show is pretty good. Benedict Cumberbatch does a pretty good Sherlock and the stories are all pretty well written. I just hate the portrayal of Moriarty. Guy seems like a tool. I don’t buy his brain power. This season looks like a lot more action is taking place. I kind of like a 90 minute run time of light action and more detective shit but this is only a trailer so the action scenes might be spread out like seasons 1-3. I do want some difference though. Each show is like an hour and a half and something always leads back to Moriarty and then no Moriarty. I don’t even know if the guy is a living entity at this point since we thought he died but didn’t. Maybe he’s a ghost? Ghost mystery Sherlock would be kind of interesting.

Well there you have it, all the things I’m interested in seeing in the future that made glimpses at San Diego Comic Con. If anyone has pics of chicks at comic con let a brotha find out.

 

Someone Wants To Let The Ocean Know “Hillary Is A Lying Bitch” By Writing It On Crabs

The Political race is close. Like neck and neck between Hilary and Trump. Well Florida is one of those swing states that actually mean shit for the elections because we’ve got an over grown population of idiots. Now I’m being totally honest. I’m not a registered voter. Does that make me a bad citizen? Maybe, but i wouldn’t stake my claim to any of these idiots. Trump probably wants me out of the country because of my eye shape and Hillary just panders to people and seems kind of like an idiot with the email leaks and shit. But say I was to decide to vote for someone. Perhaps I take a stroll through the beaches in Tampa or getting some seafood in Ybor. If I see random blue crabs making harsh statements like this, I kind of have no choice but to vote Trump right? Like on one hand these are the types of people these Elections are bringing out of the wood works. Trump supporters are crazy enough to catch blue crabs to get their propaganda across. But it’s almost so crazy that it’s so true that you gotta respect the message. Once the word spreads all across the bay Trump might just pull far and away ahead of Hillary.