Finding A Snake In A Christmas True Would Ruin The Holiday For Me Forever

 

Yo Cheryl, fuck this snake. It’s crawling in your fuck Christmas tree. If you have kids and shit sitting by the tree, it could murk them in a second. And don’t you dare tell me I’m over reacting. She’s under reacting. Fuck all of that “She didn’t panic, she called the snake catcher!” I would panic. You’re suppose to panic. It’s a snake. You know those sneaky devious animals that can strike at fast speeds and has a body that’s entirely muscle and loaded with venom. If I were with this person i would assume she’s praying for a death wish for how nonchalant she seems about a snake. Not to mention the biblical undertones of the whole scenario. Christmas, Christ mas, more Christ, the snake is the devil. All of that nonsense. I don’t want to be branded an animal killer. In almost all scenarios I want them to be free in the wild to do whatever it is they do. But you guys know I will never like snakes. It broke into your domicile, stand your ground and blow it away with a shotgun.

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