Tag Archives: hockey

They’re Holding XXXTentacions Funeral Inside The BB&T Center

 

Not here to argue about XXXtentacion. Some people liked him, some people didn’t. Some people thought he was a scum bag. I think universally for the most part people think he didn’t deserve to die. Do I know his music? Absolutely not. Do people like it? Absolutely. But If I find out the total funeral attendance for fucking XXXtentacion’s, who is on the thin grey line between people liking him and people blasting him on social media for his past, is more than the average attendance to a Florida Panthers hockey game in south Florida, I’m gonna flip.

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Screen Rant: John Wick – Chapter 2 ****SPOILERS*****

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Welcome back, folks to another episode of Screen Rants with Ed Lee. Almost the big award show in the Oscars and I still have yet to watch a majority of the movies but thats okay because this past week I went to go see 50 Shades Darker cause I wanted to see what its like to be in a room full of chicks cumming their pants but to make sure i maintained my masculinity I went and saw John Wick: Chapter 2. John Wick, man. What a weird cult following it’s gotten. Shane Falco will always be my boy but I could’ve sworn his career died in the Matrix after freeing the world or whatever. Honestly before the Wick series the last thing I saw of his was Constantine which was good for what it was (i saw Street Kings but you can’t claim you saw it if you’re still actively trying to forget it). 11 year gap pretty much where I only acknowledged his roles as John Constantine, Shane Falco, Neo, Jack Traven or the G.O.A.T. Johnny Utah.

Every other character he’s played doesn’t matter. Then outta no where after an 11 year gap all i heard from people across all spectrum was John Wick. John Wick this, John Wick that. As far as I knew, it looked like a cheesy action thriller, and it kinda is, but still somehow good. It’s like our modern day version of Boondock Saints. If I were to tell you some Irish micks just decided one day they had to go on a killing spree because god told them to after they got drunk, I would tell you its probably a bit of a cheesy action movie, but yet we love it. In the end though the only thing different is Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day was laughable garbage, where John Wick: Chapter 2 was awesome. Doesn’t bother having an overly complicated story line or plot twist. It just kind of lives in its hit-man universe where the rules are pretty straight forward and invites as much shooting and fighting as humanly possibly. Over all I give it a 7.7 tied with the first John Wick. The first one was a bit more compelling with a whole revenge story, but this second one had some elements of that, and maybe I haven’t seen the first one in a bit, but the action in this was awesome. Might be a bit better than the first one and also deserve props for taking a cult classic and transcending the equal into a mainstream action movie (R.I.P The Fast and the Furious’ legacy [except I totally watch the shit out of every ridiculous movie in that franchise]).

KEANU REEVES: Football Guy?

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I just want to take a minute to talk about Keanu Reeves as the person we know him as. As one doesn’t really like to see the sausage get made, I almost don’t want to know the real Keanu Reeves. Don’t want to know what makes the guy tick. Every time I see him in interviews he’s kinda wacky and flamboyant and talks really loud with his hands if that makes sense. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a nice, charitable, humble guy who’s successful and has a number of roles that have defined the action movie zeitgeist (idk if i used that word correctly, if I did it kinda makes me a really good writer. low risk, high reward). I don’t know why I thought this based on two movies but I always thought growing up that Keanu Reeves was a huge Football Guy. Played an Ohio State QB twice. TWICE. In two separate movie universes. An All-American at Ohio State who made it to the Sugar Bowl and then WON the Rose Bowl and would’ve gone pro if he didn’t get his knee nuked in the 4th quarter. Such a shame. But if that wasn’t enough, there was a little nod in Speed where he figured out the bus had live recording because he realized Dennis Hopper can see that Annie’s wearing an Arizona Wildcat jacket. Really hurt my heart when I found out he’s some Canadian boy who has no idea about the game at all (sorry If i just told all of you out there that Santa isn’t real). A little bit of hope though, is that Keanu has laced up the skates before and played goalie.

Keanu Reeves, goalie coach, circa 1981. Author: The Hockey News

Keanu Reeves, goalie coach, circa 1981. Author: The Hockey News

If anything you know who Keanu Reeves kinda reminds me of? Like an older sci-fi action star version of Taylor Kitsch. This is solely based on the fact that they have roles where they definitely can pull off long hair and have played hockey but they both kind of have a similar builds. Not overly bulky, Canadian, hockey, movies and what not. Relatively quite celebrities and both have played football on screen. But enough about all that. This isn’t about Keanu Reeves or football. This is about John Wick. Which brings me to my next talking point…..

JOHN WICK IS TOM BRADY

x3psv2iComing to theaters soon after TB12’s fifth Super Bowl win in a historic overtime comeback, this has to be the first comparison that comes to mind. Its everything from the durability to take hit after hit and still perform at an elite level to the fact that he terrifies every major player in the game the way that Tom Brady is the Boogeyman to every single player/personnel in the AFC. Just for a second entertain the notion that the one week after Tom Brady had a horrible game agaisnt Kansas was like his retirement considering every ESPN analyst marked Tom as done. Well the next week was officially him/John Wick coming out of retirement and put on 2 killing sprees that shocks the entire world. Both men of focus, commitment, and sheer will. We saw Tom Brady kill 31 teams with a football. Both men that can dress sharply and look impeccable in a suit and can hit a target within a dime. Simply put, John Wick is Tom Brady. Some where in a quiet modern house tucked away in a remote suburban neighborhood is John Wick quietly eating kale and avocado ice cream with pink Himalayan sea salts and avoiding nightshades so he can be an elite assassin and take hit after hit well into his 50’s and is ready to lace and load em up ready for the next kill. Baba Yaga. The Boogeyman. JW12.

UPDATE:

IMDB no longer has a comment section which effectively cuts down half the blog. What the fuck IMDB? You’re kinda killing my job here. Well lets keep the bad news rolling. Keanu Reeves didn’t fuck a lot of chicks even though they were cumming their pants. Sad!screen-shot-2017-02-20-at-7-46-45-am

Jagr Became Second All Time In Points Last Night

 

What an achievement. This whole season I’ve been contemplating what the legacy of Jagr should be. After his slow start here I thought he should call it after this season. It feels like the Panthers keep him around just for some media and fan service. Everyday becomes some new achievement just because of his tenure playing how ever many games he’s had and where that places him, but when he finally closes the book on his career he’s probably going to be remembered as a Penguin, not a Panther. But now things kinda changed. Obviously over the past week he’s proves he could still contribute with 4 points in the past 2 games alone (yes I get its a very very tiny sample size), but now he moves into second all time in NHL points. The only one above him being Gretzky’s point total which definitely will never be touched. So now it’s almost as if Jagr is at the very top in NHL lore. He’s a guy that played through the eras and achieved such an insurmountable point total wearing a Panther jersey. Maybe he will be remembered only as a Penguin for winning those cups, but as of now he’s still playing, and as much as we seem to be running though quick sand, he’s not stopping. That alone is keeping the dream alive that we’ll one day soon, win the cup, and if Jagr’s name is engraved in the cup one more time, then his time as a Panther definitely will be a large part of his legacy.

P.s- Gretzky’s point total is so ridiculous. I have no idea when Jagr will stop, but if they legalize the use of HGH, then Jagr will break it one day.

Vinnie Viola Nominated As Secretary Of The Army

Florida Panthers owner Vinnie Viola has been selected by President-elect Donald Trump to be the new Secretary of the Army subject to Senate confirmation. Viola, a 1977 graduate of West Point, is the founder of Virtu Financial and bought the Panthers in 2013. Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/nhl/florida-panthers/article121729109.html#storylink=cpyTrump and Viola apparently met last week at Trump Tower in New York. “I am proud to have such an incredibly accomplished and selfless individual as Vincent Viola as our Secretary of the Army,” Trump said in a statement. “Whether it is his distinguished military service or highly impressive track record in the world of business, Vinnie has proved throughout his life that he knows how to be a leader and deliver major results in the face of any challenge. “He is a man of outstanding work ethic, integrity, and strategic vision, with an exceptional ability to motivate others. The American people, whether civilian or military, should have great confidence that Vinnie Viola has what it takes to keep America safe and oversee issues of concern to our troops in the Army.” Viola, who founded the Combating Terrorism Center at West Point following the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, says the nomination is a “great honor.” Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/nhl/florida-panthers/article121729109.html#storylink=cpy“If confirmed, I will work tirelessly to provide our president with the land force he will need to accomplish any mission in support of his National Defense Strategy,” Viola said in the release. “A primary focus of my leadership will be ensuring that America's soldiers have the ways and means to fight and win across the full spectrum of conflict. This great honor comes with great responsibility, and I will fight for the American people and their right to live free every day.” Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/nhl/florida-panthers/article121729109.html#storylink=cpyAccording to the Florida Panthers, ownership of the team would remain in the Viola family pending confirmation. Doug Cifu, a partner of Viola’s with the Panthers as well as Virtu Financial, would become chairman and governor of Sunrise Sports and Entertainment. “Our hockey team has always been proud to be part of Mr. Viola’s legacy,” Florida’s Dale Tallon said. “We admire his dedication to his country and are excited to watch him pursue this new endeavor.” Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/nhl/florida-panthers/article121729109.html#storylink=cpySaid Panthers CEO and West Point graduate Matthew Caldwell: “We are honored and humbled to see Mr. Viola nominated as the Secretary of the Army. We could not be more proud for Vinnie and his dedication to our country.” Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/nhl/florida-panthers/article121729109.html#storylink=cpy

Miami Herald – Florida Panthers owner Vinnie Viola has been selected by President-elect Donald Trump to be the new Secretary of the Army subject to Senate confirmation.
Viola, a 1977 graduate of West Point, is the founder of Virtu Financial and bought the Panthers in 2013.
Trump and Viola apparently met last week at Trump Tower in New York.
“I am proud to have such an incredibly accomplished and selfless individual as Vincent Viola as our Secretary of the Army,” Trump said in a statement.
“Whether it is his distinguished military service or highly impressive track record in the world of business, Vinnie has proved throughout his life that he knows how to be a leader and deliver major results in the face of any challenge.
“He is a man of outstanding work ethic, integrity, and strategic vision, with an exceptional ability to motivate others. The American people, whether civilian or military, should have great confidence that Vinnie Viola has what it takes to keep America safe and oversee issues of concern to our troops in the Army.”
Viola, who founded the Combating Terrorism Center at West Point following the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, says the nomination is a “great honor.”
confirmed, I will work tirelessly to provide our president with the land force he will need to accomplish any mission in support of his National Defense Strategy,” Viola said in the release.
“A primary focus of my leadership will be ensuring that America’s soldiers have the ways and means to fight and win across the full spectrum of conflict. This great honor comes with great responsibility, and I will fight for the American people and their right to live free every day.”
According to the Florida Panthers, ownership of the team would remain in the Viola family pending confirmation.
Doug Cifu, a partner of Viola’s with the Panthers as well as Virtu Financial, would become chairman and governor of Sunrise Sports and Entertainment.
“Our hockey team has always been proud to be part of Mr. Viola’s legacy,” Florida’s Dale Tallon said.
“We admire his dedication to his country and are excited to watch him pursue this new endeavor.”
Panthers CEO and West Point graduate Matthew Caldwell: “We are honored and humbled to see Mr. Viola nominated as the Secretary of the Army. We could not be more proud for Vinnie and his dedication to our country.”
Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/nhl/florida-panthers/article121729109.html#storylink=cpy

What a wacky month its been at FLApanthers HQ. Wacky year in general. Fire like 30 people, bring in a new staff, flip the team over to make them totally analytics based, fire the fan favorite coach, become old school hockey enemy number 1, and then have your owner become Secretary of the Army. It’s not crazy by any means given the military background Viola imposes on everything including this team, but just making this season more of a circus act than it already was is just crazy. Stability is something we’ve wanted for a long time and it felt like we had it by the end of last year and now it’s all up in the air again. Like we thought it was bad when Jeffrey Loria steps in mid season to fuck around with the Marlins. Well Vinnie Viola stepped in to mess around with the player personnel, and now President-elect Donald trump stuck his fingers into BB&T center and is messing around with Vinnie Viola. Some how this is gonna trickle down and effect with the players somehow. Wish we could hear Vinnie say he’s rejecting the offer because he’s 100% committed to this South Florida Hockey Franchise, but we just know he’s gonna jump to represent the Army any way possible. It’s like in the guy’s DNA. And who knows how things will change. Shouldn’t be to crazy I don’t think considering everyone in that organization front office is hand picked by Viola so the direction should still be the same but don’t be caught off guard if half the roster is sent to fight in the Syrian Civil War and combat ISIS.

Elliot Friedman Does A Quick Interview With Tom Rowe Regarding Gallant’s Firing

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LINK TO VIDEO HERE

What’s done is done. You can take what you want from this interview. Whether or not Rowe was sincere about Gallant. How it went down. How they would’ve done it differently. Me on the other hand? I’m picturing Gallant and Mike Kelly in a rental car driving from Fort Lauderdale Airport back to BB&T center to clear out their office. The GPS tells them to turn right. Gallant slowly veers right.

Mike Kelly: Gerard, what are you doing?

Gerard Gallant: The GPS says to turn right.

Mike Kelly: It means stay towards the right and go around the canal.

Gerard Gallant: Maybe it’s a shortcut, Mike. It knows where it’s going.

Mike Kelly: It can’t possibly mean that, there’s no road here!

Gerard Gallant: THE MACHINE KNOWS! STOP YELLING AT ME!

** Gerard proceeds to drive into a canal off of 595 **

Gerard Gallant: Everyone always wants new analytics. Everybody likes new corsi, new fenwicks. Hockey players will never be replaced by machines. In the end, life and business and Hockey are about human connections. And computers are about trying to murder you in a lake and getting you fired. And to me the choice is easy.

So yea this is how I’m dealing with this team currently. Molding the scenarios into a hit comedy TV series that’s been off TV for the past 4 years. Boston tonight. Panthers win 5-1.

Panthers Fall To Tampa 4-3 In An Overtime Shootout. Trocheck Discovered NHL Equivalent Of The Tuck Rule

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Wild game. Never felt the should be rivalry really but tonight felt like they were playing some playoff level hockey at some points and it’s only game 3. First night for Reimer in net and despite the score being 4-3 lightning, the shot attempts were pretty much down to even on both sides and we’re not exactly playing a lottery team here. It’s potential Stanley Cup favorites we’re talking about and the Panthers could’ve had it end their way if the game was cut short 5 seconds. Had another chance to win it on an empty net earlier but like the previous 60 minutes, Panthers were a little bit too conservative with the puck and decided not to shoot. Tough luck but it’s over and we go back home to get ready for another juggernaut of an opponent in The Capitals.

Things to take away though, Colton Sceviour scored a short handed goal with a feed from D-Mac for his 2nd goal of the season. Trocheck tied us up in the third and Mike Matheson got his 1st NHL goal and really has been making his arrival in the NHL well known and is still learning to be better. Have high hopes on Matheson but so far we like what he brings to the table after the purge of some fan favorites in the D core.

Of course after that Matheson goal, Stamkos fucked us in the ass by literally burying one with FIVE seconds left. Five seconds away from being on top of The Atlantic and taking the 1st of the I-75 rivalry. What ever. More interestingly though, is young Vinnie Trocheck discovering what is essentially the NHL Overtime equivalent of the Tuck Rule during a little controversial call in a shootout goal.

Banana’s. No one in Florida thought that was a good goal besides Trocheck and who ever was in Toronto making that call. Did Trocheck fumble the puck in a shot attempt? Was Brady tucking the ball back in? Did Charles Woodson sack Trocheck? Sometimes it’s best to let things go their course with out getting in the way. More likely than not Trocheck was trying to swipe the puck in but lost control of it and should’ve ended the game right there. Especially wouldn’t matter since Tampa ended up winning after Ekblad failed in shoot out but who knows man. If Florida goes on to win that game it could’ve sparked some real hatred between the two clubs. Who knows Maybe Trocheck ends up leading this team to 4 rings over a 20 year dynasty reign.

H/T Stephanie @Myregularface and Pete @PeteBlackburn

Mike Matheson Knocked Devil’s Defense Man Damon Severson Off His Launch Pad To Feed Barkov The GWG in Overtime

 

Great win last night. Not gonna lie, 1st time of NHL it was awesome. Just Auston Matthews putting on a clinic to ease you back into the season. 2nd night, last night, however was just feistyness all over the league. Jussi getting into the digs. Rookie Shane Harper dropping the mitts. Ekblad getting a high stick to his adonis-like visage. Officiating not doing us any favors but we got the W in the end after Matheson makes his presences known game 1 of a 82+ game season by bulldozing a guy and feeding the puck to Barkov for the Game winning goal. Hockey is back and i hope to god it’s gonna be here till next summer.

Also to note, last night the Panthers honored Jose Fernandez. I still can’t believe he’s gone and his death i think will always be shocking to a lot of South Florida people but still a great classy move by the Panthers. Was only fitting that #16 gets the game winner on the night they honor another great #16

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P.s: Those sweaters are hot. Look great on ice. The brand has evolved and it’s turning into a beaut on ice.