Tag Archives: Christmas

Was Live Free Or Die Hard A Forgotten Movie? This Guy Inadvertently Pulled A John McClane At The Wheel

 

What a poignant time for this guy to fall asleep at the wheel and launching his car into mid air. See as everyone on the internet will tell you, no in fact, they’ll scream at you saying Die Hard is a Christmas movie. Do i think people will actually watch Die Hard for Christmas? Nah, They’ll probably not watch anything for Christmas unless its on Netflix but because we live in the internet age we can rehash takes and type in all caps that Christmas movies include x and y movie and Die Hard. But none of that is here nor is it there. Watch what you want. My slight concern is that when this guy fell asleep at the wheel and sparked a good internet video, people seemed to have forgotten that John McClane already did this stunt.

In the grand scheme of things its WILD that the act of jettisoning your car in mid air just automatically gets attached to the Dukes of Hazzard. Listen I get it, it was the first to do it big. But there have been many of jumps that top that. I mean 2 Fast 2 Furious when Brian O’Conner jumps a Nissan Skyline R-34 off a draw bridge? Classic. When Brian O’Conner crash drives his Subaru out of a mountain cliff from a drug runner tunnel in the Fast and the Furious 5? Classic. When Brian O’Conner and Dominic Toretto Drive a million dollar Lykan HyperSport from one Dubai mega Skyscraper from one building into another, and into another one after that? Classic. Id argue, that just with the hilarious cast of characters, the Road Trip jump that Bob Hope could’ve made should get more recognition. But nope it all comes back to the Dukes of Hazzard. Strange considering we saw this same move in Live Free or Die Hard.

Do people remember this movie? I mean it almost never gets talked about when people talk about Die Hard. People only talk about Die Hard 1 it feels like. I like Die Hard 1 but Live Free or Die Hard is my number 2 and I’m almost too scared to ask if people think I’m crazy for that. I mean its the holiday season, I don’t want to get yelled at for my die hard/Christmas/stunt driving takes. But as I watched that driver fall asleep at the wheel and literally throw his life in gods hand I couldn’t help but think that’s almost exactly what happened in Live Free or Die Hard, yet all the comments I saw were about Dukes of Hazzard, a movie/TV show that I admittedly haven’t seen because I’m not old as fuck. That’s on me.

All this being said I give this Slovakian driver stunt a 6/10.

-Lacked originality

-Clipped the wall a bit

-Not sure if it cleared the landing

-Didn’t take out an assault helicopter with armed terrorist while on fire.

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Finding A Snake In A Christmas True Would Ruin The Holiday For Me Forever

 

Yo Cheryl, fuck this snake. It’s crawling in your fuck Christmas tree. If you have kids and shit sitting by the tree, it could murk them in a second. And don’t you dare tell me I’m over reacting. She’s under reacting. Fuck all of that “She didn’t panic, she called the snake catcher!” I would panic. You’re suppose to panic. It’s a snake. You know those sneaky devious animals that can strike at fast speeds and has a body that’s entirely muscle and loaded with venom. If I were with this person i would assume she’s praying for a death wish for how nonchalant she seems about a snake. Not to mention the biblical undertones of the whole scenario. Christmas, Christ mas, more Christ, the snake is the devil. All of that nonsense. I don’t want to be branded an animal killer. In almost all scenarios I want them to be free in the wild to do whatever it is they do. But you guys know I will never like snakes. It broke into your domicile, stand your ground and blow it away with a shotgun.

No Ones Thirstier Than This Chick Who Stole A DVD Copy of Magic Mike And A Stick Of Salami

A 25-year-old St. Johns County woman was arrested after she tried to steal tools, DVDs and food from a St. Augustine Walmart, a police report said.  Karson Kidwell was charged with grand theft after she stole $574 of items from Walmart by stuffing the items into a duffel bag, the St. Johns County Sheriff's Office said. A Walmart loss prevention manager reported the theft. Among the items recovered: DVDs of the movies "Magic Mike," "The Campaign" and "Bad Teacher" and several tools, batteries and food items, including chicken and dry salami.  The loss prevention manager noted that Kidwell took the items to the front of the store and attempted to walk the items out the door, the report said.  Karson told the arresting officer that she stole the items because, "It's hard times." She planned to give away some of the items as Christmas gifts, the report said.

Fox30- A 25-year-old St. Johns County woman was arrested after she tried to steal tools, DVDs and food from a St. Augustine Walmart, a police report said.
Karson Kidwell was charged with grand theft after she stole $574 of items from Walmart by stuffing the items into a duffel bag, the St. Johns County Sheriff’s Office said. A Walmart loss prevention manager reported the theft.
Among the items recovered: DVDs of the movies “Magic Mike,” “The Campaign” and “Bad Teacher” and several tools, batteries and food items, including chicken and dry salami.
The loss prevention manager noted that Kidwell took the items to the front of the store and attempted to walk the items out the door, the report said.
Karson told the arresting officer that she stole the items because, “It’s hard times.”
She planned to give away some of the items as Christmas gifts, the report said.

Yea okay, Lady. You were gonna give those away as “Christmas Gifts.” First off if you’re gifting a DVD of a movie that’s been out for 5 years, you suck but at least be up to date and give them a Blu-Ray copy. Gotta see those abs in 1080p 4k high resolution and you should just get the bundle pack that has the sequel Magic Mike XXL . Second, a stick of salami for Christmas? Kinda weird, but I’d fuck with it. Kinda like a “we’re definitely not Jewish” gift. Still a shitty present though. But all of that is a moot point. Yea those two things are just a number of things that this lady stole but I think her intentions are quite clear. She’s gonna fuck her self with that salami stick while watching Magic Mike. I don’t even think that’s coming from a mind that has taken years of Porn attrition on the brain either. That’s just what this lady was going to do. Call me crazy also but I feel like girls always get a pass when you hear them put weird things in or around their pussy either? Like I remember a friend saying depending how she say she would rub the heel of her shoe against her stuff and just go crazy for a moment. Click the random tab on pornhub and you’ll find all sorts of gourmet farm to bed room vegetables getting more action than most guys. It’s crazy. A stick of hard salami is hardly a surprise as a sex toy. But If A guy like decides to get like a country ham and carved a hole in it that person would be locked in jail and becomes a social pariah. Pretty sexist don’t you think?

(Yea that last bit got kinda weird. I never tried to fuck a ham.)