Point Zero Five Mega Bytes Per Second. .05Mbps. Does that even constitute as having internet? I feel like i might just be getting residual signals off of neighbors DirectTV dish or something. Like i get a glimpse of internet if the wind blows a radio signal by my house. Do you realize how slow .05mbps is?
Im fucking 6 kilobytes slower than 56k! A fucking real life physical telephone line that sends little beeps and analog signals and shit through a long ass cable into a phone line like the matrix and travels, still through wire, to a cable company to relay signals. That moves faster than what im working with right now.
So let me explain my little situation. Im back living at home in South Florida with my family because my time in Orlando was just overdue. Now i can dig living here. I like my room. Got plenty of space for my dog on 3.5 acres. Parents at work all the time, and i can always just crash at a friends place or something. The problem is my parents are Chinese. Now all throughout life we’ve had like some crazy old Asian guy set up a bootleg satellite dish that picks up Chinese channels. Shit was seriously awful, when we first moved here the dish covered half my window, but that’s besides the point. I hate that we’re moving into a world where people are telling me i should stream shit. Those people that say that are self entitled assholes who have Google Fiber and don’t watch sports. They just watch Netflix and shit which is cool, dont get me wrong, but i like watching my Panthers on Tv or Sunday football through cable and i don’t like whatever im doing with the TV dipping its toes in my internet speeds.
But now, in case none of you are asian, the hottest thing on the streets for chinese families is this thing called “TvPad.” The thing is literally the hottest thing on the streets of China i think and its invading Chinese American house holds around the country. At first this guy showed it to my parents and then out of no where my cousin got one and then my cousins cousins and so on and so forth. My dad raced home at one point before his work day ended to set up the “new and updated” Tvpad he got. Shit spread like the plague in my mind. Shit just marketed to Asian parents so well somehow. A device that isn’t cable that is cheaper but doesn’t have a large range of content but is still cheaper and is what matters to our parents
Shit is single handedly ruining my life. As you can guess by now, its like a Chinese roku box or apple Tv thats streams shit all the way from fucking china. Do you know how far that is from here?
8247 miles! It probably takes all the bandwidth we have just to stream a commercial from China. And while my parents eyes are glued onto the TV watching their precious Tvpad do you think i have enough left over internet to even refresh my Facebook feed? The worst part of it all is this week my parents have relatives and family friends over from China and Philly. I just know they’re gonna crowd around the living room all night admiring their false idol, Tvpad laughing and crying at what ever it says while i hang from my ceiling fan in a noose.
NYDN– Keeping up with the Jones in one ritzy Los Angeles neighborhood may require a lion, Ferrari and endless, bikini-clad babes. A so-called “party house” in the opulent Hollywood Hills is drawing heat over the latest renters’ larger than life ways. Upset neighbors, speaking to local news stations, said their area is known for vivacious parties, which have led to years of complaints. But latest renter Bastion Yotta, who offers an unconventional kind of life counseling inside the 10-bedroom mansion, says it’s the previous owners who are giving him a bad rap. “They’re thinking that this is the new Playboy mansion,” Yotta told the Daily News of his current home which features a glitzy photo of him and his stunning wife Maria stretched across their garage door. “Before we moved in it was a party house. The owner rented it out for one weekend or two weekends at a time,” he said. Consequently, those people “don’t care about the neighborhood.” Back in June, Yotta admits that he threw a 350-guest, red carpet housewarming party which featured a caged lion and live music. But he said he provided a shuttle service to limit guests from clogging up the narrow streets and the pool parties he’s since thrown have had around 50 guests. “Maybe the neighbors are seeing beautiful girls walking in, walking out; maybe some of them get jealous,” he suggested of his critics who he urged to “ring my bell” if they have a problem. “Always, communication between human beings is the best solution,” he said. “If you have a problem, tell me.” Because ultimately, Yotta has no plans to stop. On his Instagram and Facebook page, the self-help guru with six-pack abs regularly posts eye-opening shots of scantily clad women, sports cars, piles of cash, and snaps with celebrities including Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yotta said that he lives with a positive outlook every day and hopes his flashy photos will draw people toward living like him. “If you see my Instagram, it’s not about boobs and ass or tits and ass,” he said. “I recommend books. I try to use beautiful girls as a Trojan horse.” For the last five years the former CEO and business owner said he’s taken in gorgeous, female clients in need of help for two to four weeks at a time while coaching them for free. He said it started out with some of his wife’s female friends needing help. After he found success and pleasure in helping them, eventually he branched out and offered to help others. He’s now considering reality show offers. Why only beautiful women is a decision made by Yotta and his wife. He said that not only do they both feel more comfortable about filling the home overnight with women, opposed to men, but sometimes it’s the beautiful women who have it the hardest. “People think ‘oh she’s beautiful, everything’s easy.’ She’s afraid of the future, just like anybody else,” he said. He pointed out one former resident, a high-profile model he declined to identify, who described her time with Yotta as life-saving. “She said to me, if I wasn’t in your mansion I would totally think of suicide,” he said of the woman. “People don’t see the person behind. I helped her become independent of other people.” “It’s not important what other people think of you. It’s important how you think about yourself,” he said. As far as what Yotta’s landlord, Patrick Fitzgerald, thinks about the couple’s flashy lifestyle, he’s all in — as long as they pay their rent. “You’ve got to let people that are renting a big, beautiful mansion and are paying a lot do whatever they want,” he told KTLA.
My god! This guys like a rich European Jesus or something! Total euro vibe from this dude. When i watched the video he reminded me of the European dude from Super Troopers. Just being a sexual deviant and driving luxury sports car. The only thing better about this dude is he’s giving life advice also. I mean did you hear his testimony given by himself? He stopped a hot chick from committing suicide. I know 2015 has tons of women to offer but every hot girl is a precious commodity and he saved it! Don’t be salty about him having a luxury pad and a harem of women parading around his house, guys a savior. Just waltz in seeking help and he’ll help ya get that little push to become what he is. You can’t tell me there’s no part of this that someone wants, even if you’re in a loving committed marriage. You know you want to live a rich life, you know you want 6 pack abs, you know your wife wants you to have 6 pack abs. Maybe take it upon your self to listen to his life message before you start issuing neighborhood complaints. Maybe you also can become a crusader to help beautiful women who have trouble dealing with their hardships. Thats just the Yotta Life
The one down side i will say tho, having a bunch of 10 dollar bills? NOT BALLER. Its still more than i have in my back account but flaunting around 1/10th of the largest piece of currency doesn’t allude wealth. (Sudden idea- Gotta start having rappers making it rain personal checks all with over the 100 dollar bill amount. maybe even just have it “One Hundred Dollars and 01/100″….Ballin!”)
While filming coral off the Solomon Islands, David Gruber, a National Geographic Emerging Explorer, encountered a “bright red-and-green spaceship.” This underwater UFO turned out to be a hawksbill sea turtle, which is significant because it’s the first time that biofluorescence has ever been seen in reptiles, according to Gruber. Gruber is now excited to learn more about this critically endangered species and how it is using biofluorescence.
BIOFLUORESCENCE VIDEOGRAPHER: David Gruber
SENIOR PRODUCER: Jeff Hertrick
EDITOR: Jennifer Murphy
EXPEDITION FUNDED BY: TBA21
TBA21 CINEMAPHOTOGRAPHER: Barry Broomfield
TBA21 PRODUCERS: Francesca Von Habsburg and Markus Reymann
TBA21 LINE PRODUCER: Lauren Matic
ADDITIONAL FOOTAGE: National Geographic Creative and Pawel Achtel
I woke up today not knowing how mundane things were going to be. I knew i had to wake up and go about my day, didn’t expect any ounce of real excitement. Things would be going decent but then you ask yourself what more is out there. Well today I got that answer, that might not be the answer i intended for the question being asked, but knowing theres a glowing sea turtle out there is just awesome to know. Just learning new stuff everyday. At one point, we as man, think we’ve reached our potential yet heres a fucking sea turtle just reinventing himself out of sheer will and nature. Yesterday i thought all turtles we’re pretty much the same, today I can’t even imagine the differences and variations a turtle can have. Really hope i can see a glowing sea turtle one day.
Also its dope because sea turtles eat jelly fish. Like the stingers cant penetrate turtle skin so turtles just eat those sons of bitches. I like thinking i have them on my side.
If so can you please fill me in if she stopped walking or not? I get it, sometimes you just need to walk it off. Shrug it all off your shoulders. Whether it be from the heated argument, maybe after a big hit, you gotta walk it off and take a breather. If thats what this lady was doing, she probably should finished taking that breather a little bit before she started looking and acting like Carrie after the Prom. Seriously if i were the cops rushing towards her in my SUV id be afraid she flips my car and blows it up. In all seriousness though, what do you do if you try to help someone but she refuses the help. Like even if its life or death. Do you just let her die? Do you think that would come back to haunt you? I don’t think it can. Like the guy spent like 5 minutes trying to get her to stop. At that point i think the adrenaline just dies and it almost becomes an annoying chore to try to keep her alive and its not like i have nightmares about folding my laundry or mopping my floors or anything like that. If i were in that situation im sure i would panic at first but once you realize she’s going like the energizer bunny and the panic starts to die down, i would stop caring since she stopped caring and continue about my day as if I just see a woman bathed in blood but it was kinda normal. You’d just chalk it up as another Florida moment.
When Xerxes offered to spare the lives of Leonidas, his 300 personal bodyguards and a handful of Thebans and others who volunteered to defend their country, if they would lay down their arms, Leonidas shouted these two words back. Molon Labe!
I don’t know why i have a full blown infatuation with the guy but as I view his life vicariously through the glimpses of interviews, games, and social media i think i know now why that is. At first i thought it was a sexual thing. Like Holy shit, ed, you’ve been masturbating to women all these years and out of no where this kid from Ontario is making you go gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but you’re 25 soon so you better figure out whats the deal. But that wasn’t it at all. Guy might be one of the youngest guys on the roster but he was born to lead and im almost sure that’s what draws me to him. Just a stern leader who leaves it all on the ice. the number 5 jersey from Lidstrom, also that being his favorite player, the Camo Panthers gear with Leonidas quotes. Picking out targets 100 ft away whether its with cold sniper bullet or a puck as he rips through an offense in the neutral zone. Guys just born to lead and inspire. Thats why im drawn to him. It has nothing to do with his Grizzled manly beard and jaw line or his cool head of hair. Or his probably large dick size that i think about from time to time…….
Burger King has been going to great lengths for attention. After calling out McDonald’s for a Whopper-Big Mac mash-up and putting patties on tomato buns, the fast-food brand has become a little ludicrous with its new ideas. And its latest does not disappoint. Introducing Whopper Wine, a Spanish vino that’s been aged in flame-grilled wooden barrels and supposedly pairs perfectly with the chain’s hallmark burger. It might sound outlandish to us but this is actually a nod to Burger King’s roots in Spain. After opening its first location in the country back in 1975, the brand immediately added wine to its menu to appeal to locals. Now, to celebrate its 40th anniversary in Spain, Burger King crafted its own red wine to honor its tagline that “fire is what we do best.” The bottles have been designed with the minimalist green, red, brown, and tan stripes emblazoned on the chain’s paper take-out bags. And the wine on the inside them has been aging in wooden barrels that were first grilled over a flame, infusing a charred flavor that apparently complements the Whopper and “enhances its flavor.”
You know what pairs really really well with a greasy sloppy fast food burger? The largest sized coke that the place offers. Seriously like 8oz cup of coke taste good but like a 44 oz one makes the burger taste even better. Thats all it takes folks, its not rocket science. I want the largest un healthy syrupy drink to go along with my thousand calorie burger. Im all for wine but thats not what I want with a fast food burger, especially not a whopper because whoppers suck compared to Big Macs. Do they even do this if its drive thru? If so they must be pretty non-chalant about drunk driving because if you order fast food, that will be eaten in the car. Don’t try to change things that don’t need to be changed. Fast food needs not be all fancy with a red wine.
Newsmax- New York City heiress Kaaren Parker Gray’s handwritten will left generous donations to the people who took care of her, including $50,000 each to her hairdresser and manicurist. Gray, 72, distributed part of her millions to Jenny Kim, a Korean immigrant who had been doing the heiress’s nails for years, the New York Daily News reported exclusively. Kim, 60, told the Daily News she was saddened to learn of her long-time client’s death of a heart attack on Aug. 24, and was surprised to receive a letter about her inheritance. In her will, Gray left the money to Kim for “her love and devotion.” “I feel good that she remembered me like that – not for the money. She enjoyed having a massage on her hands and legs. She liked it nice and quiet so she could relax,” Kim told the newspaper. “She was a nice lady, very kind.” The Daily News said Gray’s 10-page will, which was not witnessed, left sums to many people in her life, including her three stepchildren, $10,000 to her housekeeper, $50,000 to her stylist Elie Camara from Frederic Fekkai on Fifth Ave., and $50,000 to “my favorite coat check woman at Fekkai.” Of Camara, Gray wrote, “Forever grateful for his friendship, and perfect hair. $50,000 toward a fabulous car!” The casual will listed some people without last names, the Daily News reported. Although it’s unclear the extent of Gray’s fortune, she made about $3 million in bequests in her will, including donations to the Heard Museum of Arizona and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The Daily News spoke with the “favorite coat woman,” Fabiola Correra, 68, who was stunned to find out about the money Gray left her. “She loved me a lot, she was so sweet with me, but I don’t expect this. For me it was a big surprise,” she said. Questions over the legality of the will have arisen, and the Daily News said it’s possible those listed may never see the money, depending on whether other wills exist or family members object to the distributions.
I don’t really want to force anyone to do anything here but I’m kinda of expecting $50k in will and testament money sometime soon i think. Listen I’ve been delivering Chinese food for years now. See the same customers all the time and put on a smile for them to try to earn a 5 dollar tip. That shit sucks but I don’t do it for the short term result. I’m waiting for my lucky day to strike and I find out I received like a million bucks for always delivering food to people. South Florida’s riddled with old folks just prime at their age to die. Let this be a memo to all you, take care of the nice Chinese food delivery boy because he doesn’t make a lot of money and you can treat him well by leaving a substantial amount of money in your will to him. Fuck your kids and giving them lumps of money, you’ve been doing it your whole life. Also if anyone wants to your favorite South Florida blogger for kind of entertaining you on days im not to lazy to actually write stuff…….
Ever feel like you spend so much time in your office that you might a swell sleep there? Well, now there’s a space-saving desk which ingeniously allows you to do just that. But you might not want to tell the boss about it in case you start getting more overtime. A Greek architect has designed the desk which converts to a bed, just the thing for those late-night office sessions. They told Archilovers : “The main concept was to comment on the fact that many times our lives are ‘shrinking’ in order to fit into the confined space of our office. “Eventually, I realized that each civilization may have a very different perception of things depending on its social context.”
Ahhh I love a good nap. It’s like George says, sometimes its the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning. This sounds crazy but occasionally on the weekends I would wake up early just so i can take a nice little nap around 10. Its the best, wake up feeling good, not too late, If you time it right you can still sleep at night. Its the best. Here i am slumped over a table can’t focus on a god damn thing with this Costanza desk taunting me right in the face. I mean you see this shit? we got a build in TV on one end, nice little cushion mattress and elevate your head for a nice place to put a pillow. God that looks fucking delightful. Im almost sure you can even add a built in shelf for a nice little alarm clock too just in case you have a meeting with Steinbrenner and you need to make sure you don’t over nap. Any international UO fans out there, if you’re by whatever greek furniture store this is at, it’ll mean a lot if you buy this for me. I’ll even shout you out on this very important influential Florida based blog!
Orlando Weekly- Gopher tortoises don’t swim. They sink. However, a recent SnapChat from a Florida woman shows her “saving” a poor gopher tortoise by hurling it into a lake. “Here’s a little note to self to anyone who finds a turtle – save it. Don’t just leave it on the road. They’re so cute,” says the woman, holding the doomed reptile. “Turtle saving is a hobby,” she proclaims before sending the little guy to a watery grave. Apparently Floridians tossing gopher tortoises into water is a recurring problem. This unfortunate turtle death comes only 5 months after a string of incidents where people “helped” tortoises into the ocean. News13 even ran a story titled, “Gopher tortoises don’t swim. Don’t help them into the ocean.” According to the the FWC, gopher tortoises are a threatened species and are currently protected under Florida state law.
Well it seems like we’re just preaching for animals to be left alone between the Animal activist kidnapping dogs and this foolish little girl thinking she’s doing some good in the world. I hope this rocks her to her very core and it should. Here she was all high and mighty trying to preach to people and pumping her ego and snapchat score with this and probably wants to go viral and on buzzfeed as girl who saves turtle. Well guess what? You murdered that poor fucking tortoise Gambino crime family style swimming with the fishes and you fucking smiled doing it. Listen any testudine creature (big fucking word) are fucking longevity creatures. They just last. They don’t need to see the world at a million miles per hour or from some safe confines. They just exist at the pace they do and they fucking live for like 100 years perfectly fine just doing so. I get your intentions were good with the turtle, but you murdered the sucker. You do you and try to stay out of other animals business or you probably will end up killing it.
I also thought of Kevin Malone in The Office who runs over a turtle and tries to save it but its already dead. Good intention, Poor execution/ decisions/ gluing skills in Kevin’s case.
Mirror- This is the heartbreaking moment a homeless man weeps while his beloved dog is taken away by animal rights activists. The video shows three activists taking away the dog in central Paris in front of shocked onlookers. And since emerging online the video has sparked outrage as viewers were moved by the homeless man’s emotional response. He can be seen crying while a woman is heard telling the activists: “You don’t have the right to do this!” The man who filmed the footage over the weekend, Nghi Le Duc, said the activists from Cause Animale Nord acted “violently” and “mercilessly”. He added that they acted “without pity”. “I was shocked when I saw this scene in the streets of Paris,” he said. However Cause Animale Nord has defended its actions, claiming the homeless man had drugged the dog – saying that the puppy had dilated pupils. They also added that the dog was not vaccinated or chipped, which is illegal in France. Since the video emerged online a petition has been set up and signed by 60,000 people calling for the actions of the charity to be probed.Petitioners claim that the activists went “too far”. There are also calls for the charity to prove that the animal had been drugged. The petition added: “Nowhere [in the group’s rules] is it stated that they have the right to remove without notice any animal or that is what they did by attacking a homeless violently to take his pet [a puppy].”
Theres never many reason for me to side with a bum, but fuck this group for ripping the only thing this homeless dude has in his life. Everyone by now should know im a dog guy because to be anything is else crazy and im not crazy. So if i were to one day lose all the money i have in my bank account and be forced to live among the vagrants and derelicts of the city, you best believe the one person by my side would be my dog. I raised that mother fucker since like birth. Dude gets equal amounts of food as I. We’re one in the same. If you try to take him away from me then as a bum you’re probably gonna get bit by me. Might not have the nutrition and strength to chase and throw punches but if i get close enough i will bite you cause that’s what bums do. First off this guy from the Cause Animale Nord looks like he’s ready to watch a boy band and to go along with his nice nails, he wants a nice small dog so he stole the little pup. Not saying any of that has a right or wrong but he doesn’t look like he’s serious about the well fare of the animal. Second, dilated pupils? Thats just a dog being a dog, bright wide eyes and bushy tail because dogs are always happy. The dude was loyal and stuck by this bums side through the good times and the bad. To think it was drugged? Homeless people dont let other people use their drugs so i doubt he would let his dog use his drugs that he sucked dick and begged for. Third, dogs are tough motherfuckers, you think stray dogs have like fancy ass medical bills they pay off? No. They roam the streets eating whatever and build up an immune system that can fight off AIDS probably. If you really cared you would pay for this guys dog vaccines and not just straight up kidnap the pooch. This isn’t about me siding with a bum here. Its about fighting for the bond between man and canine. Anyone that ruins that friendship is a terrorist in my mind and i wont stand for it!