Monthly Archives: September 2015

Colorado Shooter James Holmes Was A Psycho

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They also released pictures of the aftermath of the shooting and the car Holmes used to drive to the cinema in July 2012. Holmes killed 12 people and wounded 70 others in the attack. Last month jurors decided not to give him the death penalty. He was instead sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. The photos show chemical and incendiary devices linked by wires, intended to distract emergency responders from the cinema shooting. The devices were later defused by a police bomb squad. Prosecutors said that the traps were designed to kill anyone who tried to enter and that if the explosives had been detonated, the resulting fireball could have damaged much of the building. The images were released after open records requests. Holmes slipped into a midnight screening of Batman film The Dark Knight Rises armed with a semi-automatic rifle, a shotgun and a pistol. He threw smoke canisters and shot at people trying to escape. Prosecutors argued the attack was clearly premeditated, with Holmes planning and amassing weapons for months.

Source- They also released pictures of the aftermath of the shooting and the car Holmes used to drive to the cinema in July 2012.
Holmes killed 12 people and wounded 70 others in the attack.
Last month jurors decided not to give him the death penalty. He was instead sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole.
The photos show chemical and incendiary devices linked by wires, intended to distract emergency responders from the cinema shooting. The devices were later defused by a police bomb squad.
Prosecutors said that the traps were designed to kill anyone who tried to enter and that if the explosives had been detonated, the resulting fireball could have damaged much of the building.
The images were released after open records requests.
Holmes slipped into a midnight screening of Batman film The Dark Knight Rises armed with a semi-automatic rifle, a shotgun and a pistol.
He threw smoke canisters and shot at people trying to escape.
Prosecutors argued the attack was clearly premeditated, with Holmes planning and amassing weapons for months.

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Well James Holmes was a psycho, obviously, but how the fuck did he live like this? Place looks like its rigged to blow from just breathing in there. How the fuck did he live in this place? that bike has wires rigged all through out the spokes and shit, did he ride that thing ever? do they really sell bomb shit like those plastic balls? Really freaky that they sell shit like that. I mean how does he sit in that fucking chair with home made explosives on it? blows my mind how he had his screws loose enough to do a mass shooting but still sane enough to plan out making explosives and shit. Can’t help but wish he tripped on some of his own fishing wire and just took out himself but seeing as to how many god damn explosives and all the bullets sitting in napalm there is, it probably would’ve caused an innocent person to get hurt anyways. Good riddance.

Snake Bites Farmer On The Penis

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Mirror- A man's penis almost withered up and died after he was bitten by a poisonous snake while urinating in a field. The farmer, who had been caught short and was urinating in a field, waited for three hours before the pain became unbearable and he rushed to A&E. Doctors inspected the 46-year-old's member which had become grossly swollen and was covered in blisters where the bite had made its impact. According to the New England Journal of Medicine, the fang marks were obviously visible leading them to search for an antidote. The incident, which happened in the Himalayas, shocked doctors who probed the man for information on what the creature looked like. He identified the serpent by using the name ‘gunas’ which was then discovered to be a Levantine viper. Doctors began to notice the man's blood was clotting rapidly as the venom travelled around his body and injected him with a drug that neutralised the poison. He was left in hospital for three days following the attack - and had black wounds where the viper punctured his penis due to necrosis which causes the tissue to wither and die. The medics at the Sher-i-Kashmir Institute of Medical Sciences, Srinagar, India subsequently checked up on the unlucky man - and discovered that after four days after he was discharged that the swelling on his penis had decreased. Snakes bite around five million people worldwide each year and cause 100,000 deaths. Several hundred thousand suffer amputations or other disabilities as a result of the venom.

Mirror- A man’s penis almost withered up and died after he was bitten by a poisonous snake while urinating in a field.
The farmer, who had been caught short and was urinating in a field, waited for three hours before the pain became unbearable and he rushed to A&E.
Doctors inspected the 46-year-old’s member which had become grossly swollen and was covered in blisters where the bite had made its impact.
According to the New England Journal of Medicine, the fang marks were obviously visible leading them to search for an antidote.
The incident, which happened in the Himalayas, shocked doctors who probed the man for information on what the creature looked like.
He identified the serpent by using the name ‘gunas’ which was then discovered to be a Levantine viper.
Doctors began to notice the man’s blood was clotting rapidly as the venom travelled around his body and injected him with a drug that neutralised the poison.
He was left in hospital for three days following the attack – and had black wounds where the viper punctured his penis due to necrosis which causes the tissue to wither and die.
The medics at the Sher-i-Kashmir Institute of Medical Sciences, Srinagar, India subsequently checked up on the unlucky man – and discovered that after four days after he was discharged that the swelling on his penis had decreased.
Snakes bite around five million people worldwide each year and cause 100,000 deaths.
Several hundred thousand suffer amputations or other disabilities as a result of the venom.

Alright well if you’re not paying attention by now, we here at the Orange dont like snakes and none of you readers better either. I mean If Snakes would have a pact with anyone it should be a farmer. Taking care of the lay of the land, usually keen sense of where animals are, provide a ton of land. But nope, they are again causing problems biting farmers and the dick and shit. Just being the worst thing ever. Now the snakes are a problem on one end, but also this guy is a bit of an idiot i think. I mean if you get bit in the dick by anything do you wait 3 hours before doing anything about it? None the less a venomous snake? I’ve been sack tapped before and nearly rushed to the ER when I dropped to my knees. I mean if you’re irrational like me, i probably would’ve killed myself, but if someone were there and nice enough to talk me out of suicide within 5 minutes best believe i would’ve rushed to the ER. Did he think the blood clotting made his dick look bigger or something? If it wasn’t super gross looking at that point i guess i would’ve tried to snap some pics of it first before rushing to the hospital from unbearable pains of your penis rotting off but more likely than not my medical acumen says that wasn’t the case. Well let that be a lesson to all farmers out there. Look to this mans half dead penis and know that when you get bitten the dick by a snake, rush to the hospital ASAP.

This Bear On A Hammock Just Trying To Get The Last Bit Of His Summer On

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Love it. its 9 am right now. Im tired. Dreading going to work, wish i could go out and just chill on a hammock drink some sweet tea or some Arnold Palmer and just relax. That’s all that this black bears doing. This also demonstrates how hard and confusing and possibly uncomfortable a hammock can be. Don’t get me wrong i love laying in them but i feel like i can’t move an ounce sometimes in it or else it’ll swallow me up and spit me back on the ground like it did this bear.

This Girl Deserves An A For Parkouring Her Way Up The Side Of Her School To Get Back Into A Classroom.

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Bravo. Bra-fucking-vo. I mean if school in japan or whatever doesn’t work out for this chick. She HAS to become a cat burglar. Some people just have that talent. At least from what I see in the movies. I mean Danny ocean can use a chick like this in his crew. Tiny asian girl whos mousey and flexible. Probably can hide in tough spots, obviously can get from point A to point B, in a fast non suspecting way. I mean its not only that she could climb a wall like that. Its that she did it swiftly with grace. Acted like it was no thang. Me, i wouldn’t be able to hold myself up trying to grip that first edge then i would fall down and get laughed at. This bitch just tackled it like she was a pro gymnast in a childs jungle gym. All in some shoes with a heels none the less. For now its 3 stories into a class room. Once she grows up and hopefully becomes sexy its gonna be Like CZJ in the laser room scene from Entrapment.

The Battle Of Autumn: Team Apple vs. Team Pumpkin

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Apples

VS

pumpkins

Ahhh yes Fall is here. Now i know this doesn’t even really apply for Florida but god dammit it didn’t always use to be this way. I remember as a young boy, it was fall and just spent the day in school playing outside hanging out with friends. It was dress up day for Halloween. The winds blew and the air was crisp and i even think leaves turned all brown. I would go home, play outside with my dog running acres around the house. Go back inside and i specifically remember watching the Halloween episode of The Famous Jett Jackson. That’s right. Black teenage espionage Disney movies like you read about. Any ways, it was fall. The Environment was fall. I don’t know if its global warming or just growing up but i cling onto those days where the wind was cool and breezy in October.

Anyone who knows me knows i dream of just a farm up in like Vermont that i could go to to get away from it all with my dog and just play outside. Kick a ball around, play some football. Just watch the leaves change and shit. I’m all about that and that’s what i live for. I don’t want to die here in Florida. I want to be like the reverse Ben Affleck in The Town and instead of running away to Florida, i want to run away to New England. Until i get to that point i cling onto anything fall but one of the greatest injustice in modern life is the over rating of Pumpkin when it comes to Fall. A lot of this is due to the Buzzfeed culture and i just wont stand for it. In a 12 round heavy weight match, Apple would punch pumpkin in its dick every round and its not a question.

EXHIBIT A) Alcohol

redds-apple-ale-6-pack-bottles VS shipyard-pumpkinhead

Listen pumpkin beer is nice and all. I get it it has a nice flavor. But Apple Ale kicks pumpkin beers dick. Its crisp and refreshing and I’m pretty sure has more alcohol too so you get your buzz on faster. Yea i get it Pumpkin is more “seasonal” but again, that’s just some man made preconception. (p.s- i also like blueberry beer. That’s summer seasonal. Sea dog blueberry [that doesn’t make me gay])

EXHIBIT B) Pie/desert

Screen Shot 2015-09-10 at 2.16.17 PM

Pies. This is a monumental category. Its a lasting impression on the meal. Fourth quarter of the game. Now pumpkin pie is awesome. I do love it. Rich texture, sweet, its a tour de force for the autumn season. In team Apple we have classic apple pie. As American as George Washington. Now i know what you might say, Apple pie seems like a 4th of July thing. That’s the beauty of apple pie. You have conventional pie served a la mode. A nice Lattice cut for the 4th, and apple crisp for the fall. Pumpkin pie is always served cold which i feel like isn’t awesome all around. Apple pie/cobbler/crisp taste good hot or cold. Always comes out to play and brings its A game every time.

EXHIBIT C) Spices

pumpkinpiespice2

Now we’re getting down to microscopic powders that really make up what all the white girls want out of fall. The pumpkin spice lattes. Now for the sake of argument im gonna assume pumpkin pie spice is relatively the same thing as pumpkin spice. And here its pretty much a wash. Lets go to the tapeScreen Shot 2015-09-10 at 2.31.13 PM

Screen Shot 2015-09-10 at 2.31.47 PM As you can see the genetic make up of Fall spices mostly comprises of cinnamon, nutmeg, and allspice. Pumpkin spice has the extra ginger, but apple comes with ground cloves AND cardamom. In my house hold, extra is always the winner, but ill be generous and say this is a wash because I’m nice like that.

EXHIBIT D)Picking

pumpkin+picking

                                                        VS

Apples

Picking. An experience everyone should have multiple times in their life. Now both these experience are nice and all but the thing is Pumpkin picking is like picking one specific pumpkin. I mean no body ACTUALLY picks a pumpkin to eat (this comes into play afterwards). They pick the pumpkin for Jack-o-lanterns. Now pumpkins, as nice as they are, are all oblong shapes. You struggle to pick the correct one because they gotta work well for your jack-o-lantern face. Sure you can decorate with a few odd looking ones, but the kids all want that nice round one, a bit wider than long, can cut out a nice grin on its face. The struggle is real when trying to find the right pumpkin. Apple picking, is it ripe? yes or no. pick a billion of them, get them by the bushel, spend the afternoon breathing fresh air, and take a tractor ride back to your car. Enjoy football while your girl makes you apple pie/crisp/crumble or just take a bite into an apple and feel stronger.

EXHIBIT E)- MISCELLANEOUS

Different-Apples

When you gotta summon that extra burst of energy to make it through the day, you just gotta sugar rush yourself. No better way then caramel apples, lie to your self and say the apple is healthy, get the burst of energy from pure sugary caramel.

masthead_cider_donuts

15484b2b3785ea_5 IMG_3496-copy

Are pumpkin spice donuts a thing? Like it has to be a thing before Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts started reading buzzfeed on how to market to white women. All i know is Apple cider donuts are a thing, and to go with that Apple Cider, both regular or Sparking for the classy occasion. Is Pumpkin cider a thing? if so it sounds lame and just an apple copycat and nobody likes a copycat.

Perfect-Pumpkin-Bread

Now when i originally posed the thought of Apple over Pumpkin, i got some backlash obviously and the only thing i got back in where Pumpkin has a win over apple is Bread. I’ve never had Pumpkin bread. It sounds like a thing but i don’t really know of it. Either way, they have apple breads but ill put my trust in the public for once and prove I’m not biased. Ill give them the benefit that a pumpkin bread might be good. But if we’re gonna be totally honest, Banana nut bread is da bomb. And then if we’re gonna be totally totally honest, If i could have one sliced bread for sandwiches for the rest of my life it would be Panera’s Tomato Basil bread.

021+raw+pepitas 35b7f83dc71aee51eedadbe99f397a3a

I guessssss if im trying to find things to not be biased, Pumpkin seeds are a thing? I mean yea salted seeds are nice little snack every now and then so ill allow  for it especially since you can’t eat apple seeds. In case you’re not as worldly and full of information like i am, apple seeds contain cyanide. Now if you were to argue for team apple, Yea you can’t eat them but if you were to say plot a scheme where you kill someone with cyanide then about 85 grams or just about a cup of dry apple seeds, you can successfully kill someone. Eat the Apple to get healthy, use the seeds on you’re nemesis. Name something apples can’t do. you cant.

So there you have it folks. I laid my life on the line before you. Fought the war with every last breathe in my body. My bones were aching taking gun fine and explosions fighting the good fight but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ll sleep when im dead. Thats my dedication to making apple king again. I don’t want to live in a world where buzzfeed dictates the world and thinks for us. Long before pumpkin came along, it was apples. Toe to Toe Apple beats pumpkin in almost every damn way shape or form. If i need to get into a fist fight with every white girl i will, but Im gonna end pumpkin as fall flavor and make sure they know Apple is the Lord, when i shall lay my vengence upon them. Ezekiel 25:17. I know this is all one big bold statement and I’ll even settle for co existence, but whenever it comes up in conversation im fighting for America’s first fall fruit. Team Apple always and forever.

Pilot Congratulated and Passengers Cheered At Couple Who Joined The Mile High Club

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A jet pilot sent his best wishes over the intercom to a couple caught in “happy reproduction” in the loo on a France to Sweden flight. Travellers on the Norwegian Airlines flight to Stockholm erupted in laughter when the captain revealed that two people had joined the mile high club during the journey. A passenger told how he said in Swedish: "We'd like to send our best wishes of happy reproduction to the couple that ventured into the bathroom earlier on." The woman traveller, who asked not to be named, added: "People around the plane started cheering and laughing and there was a lot of gossiping about who it could have been." The pilot shared his message of congratulations on flight D4314 from Paris to Stockholm. But passengers who did not speak Swedish were left baffled by the message, with the pilot saying simply 'Welcome to Sweden' in English over the tannoy. The nationality of the couple caught romping by cabin crew was not revealed and the airline has declined to comment on the incident.

Mirror– A jet pilot sent his best wishes over the intercom to a couple caught in “happy reproduction” in the loo on a France to Sweden flight.
Travellers on the Norwegian Airlines flight to Stockholm erupted in laughter when the captain revealed that two people had joined the mile high club during the journey.
A passenger told how he said in Swedish: “We’d like to send our best wishes of happy reproduction to the couple that ventured into the bathroom earlier on.”
The woman traveller, who asked not to be named, added: “People around the plane started cheering and laughing and there was a lot of gossiping about who it could have been.”
The pilot shared his message of congratulations on flight D4314 from Paris to Stockholm.
But passengers who did not speak Swedish were left baffled by the message, with the pilot saying simply ‘Welcome to Sweden’ in English over the tannoy.
The nationality of the couple caught romping by cabin crew was not revealed and the airline has declined to comment on the incident.

Well that has to be one of the best life achievements right? In the list of sexual fantasies i assume Mile High is on the top because its one of mine. Yea i don’t like being on planes because they’re cramped and people are sick and gross. Well The only way to make up for that amount of discomfort? orgasms. I mean im not saying i want to take a piss mid-flight and find cum all over the place but If they keep everything in the friendly confines of a condom or her mouth then theres no problem by me. And then getting cheered for it. I mean frankly at this point any bit of sex for me deserves at least an applaud cause its a miracle. To have it announced and to have the whole cabin rejoice from it must make you feel like a million bucks. I mean worse case scenario is being detained and imprisoned for public sex. So avoiding that alone makes it worth it in my mind. Nothing quite like crossing something off your bucket list and then spending a nice european vacation in sweden.

Im Slightly Ashamed Of Our President From This Clip Of Running Wild

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I know that Bear grylls has had internet outrage for being fake and all and its a god damn show but If I see Bear Grylls cut up a dead seal and wear it for warmth, then i dont care if off camera he sleeps in a hotel. One man can only last so long filming a survival show drinking his piss and eating weird meats. I mean we’ve seen him kill animals for the sake of survival. I mean he teamed up with Drew Brees like last week to kill a god damn alligator or crocodile. Well I want Obama to do the same. Eating a supposedly half eaten piece of salmon is amateur hour type of survival. I need to see Obama spill blood. Make it known that Obama doesn’t fuck around with life or politics. Now granted I haven’t seen the full episode but the expectation is on regardless. We see all these thing about Putin lifting weights, hunting, and bullying people in hockey. Well I want obama to skin a deer, run 40 yard dashes and dunking on 4th graders. Yea his term ends soon, but thats even more of an incentive, go out on top.

First Date Goes Horribly Wrong When The Guy Gets Swept Away In A Storm And Dies.

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(NEWSER) – A couple's first date in California's San Bernardino National Forest turned out to be anything but romantic yesterday as the remains of Hurricane Linda sent a storm of heavy rain and hail over the area. While hiking in Forest Falls, east of Los Angeles, the pair became trapped in a flash flood and attempted to cross a waist-deep river runoff hand in hand, a fire official tells NBC Los Angeles. The current soon pulled both underwater and the frantic woman watched as her date was swept away. An off-duty police officer heard her screams and was able to pull her from the water, while another hiker also ran to help. "We just found her in a state of shock," he says. Police called off the search for the Rancho Cucamonga man, 29, when a body was found about a mile from where he vanished, report KABC and CBS Los Angeles. A hiker's backpack was also found. Also in San Bernardino County yesterday, fire officials say they had to rescue an individual whose vehicle was swept away in a flash flood, per the AP. NBC Los Angeles reports a man—it's not clear if he's the same person—exited his vehicle and was swept into a storm drain. He was found alive, though his current condition is unknown. A flash flood warning is still in effect for the area; trees have been uprooted and streets are still filled with water. (This first date also ended badly.)

(NEWSER) – A couple’s first date in California’s San Bernardino National Forest turned out to be anything but romantic yesterday as the remains of Hurricane Linda sent a storm of heavy rain and hail over the area. While hiking in Forest Falls, east of Los Angeles, the pair became trapped in a flash flood and attempted to cross a waist-deep river runoff hand in hand, a fire official tells NBC Los Angeles. The current soon pulled both underwater and the frantic woman watched as her date was swept away. An off-duty police officer heard her screams and was able to pull her from the water, while another hiker also ran to help. “We just found her in a state of shock,” he says.
Police called off the search for the Rancho Cucamonga man, 29, when a body was found about a mile from where he vanished, report KABC and CBS Los Angeles. A hiker’s backpack was also found. Also in San Bernardino County yesterday, fire officials say they had to rescue an individual whose vehicle was swept away in a flash flood, per the AP. NBC Los Angeles reports a man—it’s not clear if he’s the same person—exited his vehicle and was swept into a storm drain. He was found alive, though his current condition is unknown. A flash flood warning is still in effect for the area; trees have been uprooted and streets are still filled with water. (This first date also ended badly.)

RIP Guy. But sometimes nature just forces us to change and as we all know, conventional dating has gone by the way side. Netflix and chill is what dating is all about now a days. I mean im cool with that. Get use and learning about one another over maybe a few episodes of The Office. Picking and choosing what shows to watch and what to laugh at tells a lot more about a person than people lying to each other on a normal date. Its more honest that way and this is natures way of telling these two just that. And off the bat rule number 1, go to a dinner or some place public. Don’t go on a first date with a guy in the middle of a forest, that has a major rapey vibe. What happened to just a nice restaurant or a bar where food brings out the honesty in people. 2, how about checking the weather app next time before you go out period? I mean here in SoFla we kinda expect rain most of the times but we still check when it’ll supposedly rain. Well maybe if you’re going through a tropical storm or hurricane brewing in your backyard, maybe dont make plans fucking hiking that entirely takes place outdoors in a large as fuck remote national forest. You kinda deserve get the that flash flood for that.

What Better Way Is There To Wake Up Than To A Flaming Vehicle Jump

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Fucking Alabama. Sometimes i wish South Florida wasn’t so civilized. I mean i like it here. Its not entirely hickville and we have more manners and dont fuck our relatives. But what they have in Bama-ville is a lawless society where they can do anything bad ass. Case and point- A Guy diving out of an airborne flaming SUV mid air crashing into lake like you’re playing GTA or something. Must’ve been a welcoming to the new season of Bama football. #RollTide

Woman Going To Town On Herself At Starbucks

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Woman caught masturbating in a coffee shop - Her boyfriend was filming her masturbating... thought that the table would cover his phone and nobody would catch them LOL. Read more at http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=eb0_1441745340#eUfwhFVwz2JATU9D.99

Woman caught masturbating in a coffee shop
– Her boyfriend was filming her masturbating… thought that the table would cover his phone and nobody would catch them LOL.
VIDEO LINK HERE http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=eb0_1441745340#eUfwhFVwz2JATU9D.99

Now this is a non story except for the fact that this is what happens when its finally Fall. Summer feels like it gone on a week too long but Fall is here. Football is back and chicks are cumming their pants because of Pumpkin Spice Lattes literally. I mean one can only assume thats what this is all about right?