Tag Archives: Apple

Blackberry Is Planning On Releasing Another Phone And I’m Conflicted As Fuck

What was once the integral appendage to any self-respecting businessman’s hand, became the trendy addiction of 16-year-olds… so Blackberry had to adapt from their four apps and use Android so kids could play fruit ninja. Just when you thought you had moved on to a sophisticated iPhone 7 and were ready to leave the awesome full QWERTY keyboard for good, TCL go and bring out a brand new Blackberry ‘Mercury’ (unconfirmed name). The Chinese tech giant TCL is planning to reinvigorate the brand with a focus on security, productivity and reliability – but they’re keeping the old QWERTY keyboard (they couldn’t get rid of that). The Android handset, which claims to offer ‘the most complete end-to-end smartphone security available on Android’, will be previewed at the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) this weekend, Mashable reports.Due to Blackberry’s dwindling success in recent years, market researchers think the new phone could be a suicide mission for TCL. I, on the other hand, have no doubt that everyone’s inner Blackberry-obsessed teenager will awaken at the sight of the keyboard.

Unilad- What was once the integral appendage to any self-respecting businessman’s hand, became the trendy addiction of 16-year-olds… so Blackberry had to adapt from their four apps and use Android so kids could play fruit ninja.
Just when you thought you had moved on to a sophisticated iPhone 7 and were ready to leave the awesome full QWERTY keyboard for good, TCL go and bring out a brand new Blackberry ‘Mercury’ (unconfirmed name).
The Chinese tech giant TCL is planning to reinvigorate the brand with a focus on security, productivity and reliability – but they’re keeping the old QWERTY keyboard (they couldn’t get rid of that).
The Android handset, which claims to offer ‘the most complete end-to-end smartphone security available on Android’, will be previewed at the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) this weekend, Mashable reports.Due to Blackberry’s dwindling success in recent years, market researchers think the new phone could be a suicide mission for TCL.
I, on the other hand, have no doubt that everyone’s inner Blackberry-obsessed teenager will awaken at the sight of the keyboard.

You know the scene in Pearl Harbor where Kate Beckinsale thinks Ben Afflecks dead and so Josh Hartnett comes in to console her and the two end up falling in love with each other but then like a phoenix from the ashes Ben Affleck comes back for his love one? Well now I fully understand what she was going through because I’m emotional torn to shit. If you don’t know by now I’m one of the few left on this planet that still uses a Blackberry. Hubris leaking out my ears for my Blackberry. Always assumed all the big wigs used them. I remember when I Ari Gold use one I was hooked and thought to myself maybe if i had one i could sign a bunch of movie stars and fire people like they mean nothing. Just ruthless business. Well as the world turns and technology advances my berry is clinging on the last remains of it’s useful life. Got an outdated version of Instagram, Facebook that loads up in a web browser and Twitter that takes 2 hours to refresh. Half my family around the world couldn’t wish me a Happy New Year because my Whats app app is outdated and no longer functioning past New Years on midnight. Can’t hail an Uber in a pinch if i needed too or fire off dick pic snaps on Snapchat. All this time I’ve been keeping up with the world with a blackberry in one hand and an iPod touch in the other in hopes that that was enough.

It came to my realization like last week that this couldn’t keep up and that I needed to change things. It was finally time I was going to give up and convert fully to an iPhone. One year to wait in hopes of getting the new iPhone 8 because all the other blackberry models just didn’t do it for me. Then outta no where….Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. I always said if there was a version of Blackberry I liked, I’d ride with them to the death. Should I concede? I’m so use to the iPod it might as well be an iPhone. I don’t know if I could honestly make a decision between the two to the point where I wish both phones went on a secret suicide mission to bomb hiroshima in a couple of B-25 bombers and which ever comes back is the one i chose to love and spend the rest of my life with even though I’m carrying the child of the fallen smartphone named after itself.

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Fuck This Cook Book Trying To Tell Me An Apple Is A Donut

Doughnuts come in all shapes and sizes, but there is one general thing that’s consistent: they are made of dough. If there isn’t dough, the item touting itself as a “doughnut” is an imposter and should be discarded immediately. Enter this “Apple Doughnut.” These “doughnuts” are apple slices with assorted accoutrements: melted chocolate, peanut butter, chocolate chips, etc.They are NOT doughnuts. If, as is instructed in the recipe, you made these for children and said they were doughnuts, we imagine the children would slap the snack out of your hand. Why? Because children, too, know doughnuts and these are not them. This doughnut imposter comes from The I Heart Naptime Cookbook, a recipe book filled with recipes intended to be made in less than an hour.

Source- Doughnuts come in all shapes and sizes, but there is one general thing that’s consistent: they are made of dough.
If there isn’t dough, the item touting itself as a “doughnut” is an imposter and should be discarded immediately.
Enter this “Apple Doughnut.”
These “doughnuts” are apple slices with assorted accoutrements: melted chocolate, peanut butter, chocolate chips, etc.They are NOT doughnuts. If, as is instructed in the recipe, you made these for children and said they were doughnuts, we imagine the children would slap the snack out of your hand. Why? Because children, too, know doughnuts and these are not them.
This doughnut imposter comes from The I Heart Naptime Cookbook, a recipe book filled with recipes intended to be made in less than an hour.

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Take that apple and throw it in the trash. Not because it’s not good because it looks delicious as fuck. But you can’t just break all conventions to cooking and throw logic out the window by calling this a doughnut. It’s outrageous. A doughnut is a confection that need to be baked or fried and needs to be made with dough. I already said I hate foods that are too complicated, well you know what? I’ve had a bigger food gripe all my life and It’s time i air my grievances. Growing up my mom has been vegetarian since i was knee high to a duck. I’m use to getting my greens in but something that’s always plagued my mom was when she would make me fake ass vegetarian food with “vegetarian meat”. We’d get like a tofu block that’s been loaded with MSG  and shaped into a fish or fake meat made from mushrooms. If you’re gonna be vegetarian, i want you to be vegetarian meaning you don’t get to eat the knock off meat stuff either. What’s the point in being a leaf eater if you want the leafs to taste and pretend enough to be meat. Just eat fucking meat. Same logic applies to this donut. Don’t you dare tell me you’re gonna give me a donut and then hand me a fucking apple and say “Its healthy!” and then ruin all healthyness by dousing it in chocolate and caramel and shit. You’re just lying to your self. Id rather just eat a powdered donut and then an apple. Or better yet, once Fall comes around give me a bakers dozen of apple cider donut and leave me alone.

P.s- If she says yes then all credibility goes out the window.Screen Shot 2016-08-16 at 10.56.24 PM

Someone Invented An App That Lets You See If Your Friend’s Phone Is In Fact On Low Battery

The excuse ‘my phone died’ is used quite often - and most of the time people don’t buy it. In order to keep us honest, a new app lets friends and family sync up to see each other’s battery status. Dubbed Battery Share, users are able to see other user’s battery power level, know when someone is charging their phone and receive notifications if anyone is running low on juice - assuming they agree to being tracked. I created this app because I have a few friends who I suspected never charged their phones, and were near impossible to get a hold of,' Terry Demco, creator of Battery Share, told DailyMail.com. 'My suspicions were confirmed when I got them to beta test this app. 'I have one friend who is perpetually at a charge of about 25%, and goes from place to place getting 5 minutes of charging here and there.' 'Then of course there are other people manage to keep their charge up most of the day, it just depends on the person.' 'I really needed to get a hold of someone, and couldn’t. I figured that I must not be the only one this has happened to. 'So from that, came this app.' Battery Share has a built-in status bar that lists all those who have opted-in to sharing their status, allowing you to see who has a full bar and who needs to plug in. And if your friend or family is running on low, Battery Share will send them a friendly reminder that to both you and them. The technology behind the scenes monitors the phone's battery over the course of the day and if the battery level drops below a certain threshold, will trigger a notification that will alert your friends,' Demco said. 'When the phone is charged to a certain point, the trigger is reset. If the phone then drops below that threshold again, another notification is sent out.' Users who host the app also have the ability to see who switched into low-power mode. To start tracking your friends’ and families’ battery power, simply download the app in the Apple App Store (it is only available for iOS users and for $0.99). You can then invite who you’d like keep tabs and once the request is accepted that person is added to the list. Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3575835/Is-partner-s-battery-REALLY-dying-New-app-lets-power-friends-left-phone.html#ixzz47uaAGrPG Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3575835/Is-partner-s-battery-REALLY-dying-New-app-lets-power-friends-left-phone.html#ixzz47ua3vTNG Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3575835/Is-partner-s-battery-REALLY-dying-New-app-lets-power-friends-left-phone.html#ixzz47uZzsXxh Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Daily Mail- The excuse ‘my phone died’ is used quite often – and most of the time people don’t buy it.
In order to keep us honest, a new app lets friends and family sync up to see each other’s battery status.
Dubbed Battery Share, users are able to see other user’s battery power level, know when someone is charging their phone and receive notifications if anyone is running low on juice – assuming they agree to being tracked.
I created this app because I have a few friends who I suspected never charged their phones, and were near impossible to get a hold of,’ Terry Demco, creator of Battery Share, told DailyMail.com.
‘My suspicions were confirmed when I got them to beta test this app.
‘I have one friend who is perpetually at a charge of about 25%, and goes from place to place getting 5 minutes of charging here and there.’
‘Then of course there are other people manage to keep their charge up most of the day, it just depends on the person.’
‘I really needed to get a hold of someone, and couldn’t. I figured that I must not be the only one this has happened to.
‘So from that, came this app.’
Battery Share has a built-in status bar that lists all those who have opted-in to sharing their status, allowing you to see who has a full bar and who needs to plug in.
And if your friend or family is running on low, Battery Share will send them a friendly reminder that to both you and them.
The technology behind the scenes monitors the phone’s battery over the course of the day and if the battery level drops below a certain threshold, will trigger a notification that will alert your friends,’ Demco said.
‘When the phone is charged to a certain point, the trigger is reset. If the phone then drops below that threshold again, another notification is sent out.’
Users who host the app also have the ability to see who switched into low-power mode.
To start tracking your friends’ and families’ battery power, simply download the app in the Apple App Store (it is only available for iOS users and for $0.99).
You can then invite who you’d like keep tabs and once the request is accepted that person is added to the list.

I had a few classes with this kid that everyone hated. His name was Jowel. Annoying son of a bitch who wanted to like a young CEO type. Always wanted people to play by the books except when he could get an upper hand advantage, he’d take it. He would rat out cheaters just to get ahead. We remember we had this one professor who would let us out like 3 HOURS early because it was like 9 am and he would just say fuck a 4 hour lecture. Well one day in class he told us he had to have a sit down with the boys up stairs getting in trouble for taking roll call and basically racing us out of the lecture hall. Next thing you know after 4 hours of just sitting there twiddling our thumbs we see that mother fucker Jowel talking to counselors and shit and we all just knew it was that rat fuck. The type of kid who was pissed that his tuition money wasn’t getting put to full use. Fuck out of my FACE with that nonsense.

Well this guy is exactly the same. Hey Terry Demco, you lame fuck, snitches get stitches bro and you basically just invented an app that snitches on people. You’re King Snitch. Lets face it, its 2016. No one really wants to talk on the phone anymore. No one wants to hear people ramble on about their life with a cell phone pressed to their skull without wishing it was a gun. I love all my friends and the ones i hang out with and talk to on the phone and shit is all gravy but sometimes you just don’t want to hear it. So you intentionally turn off the ringer and let it go to missed call. Not saying i hate you’re guts right now. Just not for any of that nonsense at the moment. So you hit them back with a “Im out, phones about to die” text. Its a silent but understood code with a “no questions asked” clause attached to it. It’s not that your “friends” who were near impossible to get a hold of because they were so concerned about the battery life of their rechargeable cellphone in an era where everyone usually has multiple charging device/options. It’s because when they see someone calling and they look and see its you they go “ughhh Terry’s calling again…. *mutters silently*”fucking loser.” What makes it worse is you built an app strictly to make them feel bad about it and snitch on them. You try to make me use this thing and i might personally charge my phone to 100% and buy 10 mophie battery cases on my phone and that second you call me i swear to god i’ll let it go straight to voice mail and hit you back with a “Phones bout to die, call you back later” right in your face. Get lost with this battery snitch app.

P.s- This is that Jowel mother fucker. If face just screams snitch.935269_10151679217834921_410530512_n

The Battle Of Autumn: Team Apple vs. Team Pumpkin

Apples

VS

pumpkins

Ahhh yes Fall is here. Now i know this doesn’t even really apply for Florida but god dammit it didn’t always use to be this way. I remember as a young boy, it was fall and just spent the day in school playing outside hanging out with friends. It was dress up day for Halloween. The winds blew and the air was crisp and i even think leaves turned all brown. I would go home, play outside with my dog running acres around the house. Go back inside and i specifically remember watching the Halloween episode of The Famous Jett Jackson. That’s right. Black teenage espionage Disney movies like you read about. Any ways, it was fall. The Environment was fall. I don’t know if its global warming or just growing up but i cling onto those days where the wind was cool and breezy in October.

Anyone who knows me knows i dream of just a farm up in like Vermont that i could go to to get away from it all with my dog and just play outside. Kick a ball around, play some football. Just watch the leaves change and shit. I’m all about that and that’s what i live for. I don’t want to die here in Florida. I want to be like the reverse Ben Affleck in The Town and instead of running away to Florida, i want to run away to New England. Until i get to that point i cling onto anything fall but one of the greatest injustice in modern life is the over rating of Pumpkin when it comes to Fall. A lot of this is due to the Buzzfeed culture and i just wont stand for it. In a 12 round heavy weight match, Apple would punch pumpkin in its dick every round and its not a question.

EXHIBIT A) Alcohol

redds-apple-ale-6-pack-bottles VS shipyard-pumpkinhead

Listen pumpkin beer is nice and all. I get it it has a nice flavor. But Apple Ale kicks pumpkin beers dick. Its crisp and refreshing and I’m pretty sure has more alcohol too so you get your buzz on faster. Yea i get it Pumpkin is more “seasonal” but again, that’s just some man made preconception. (p.s- i also like blueberry beer. That’s summer seasonal. Sea dog blueberry [that doesn’t make me gay])

EXHIBIT B) Pie/desert

Screen Shot 2015-09-10 at 2.16.17 PM

Pies. This is a monumental category. Its a lasting impression on the meal. Fourth quarter of the game. Now pumpkin pie is awesome. I do love it. Rich texture, sweet, its a tour de force for the autumn season. In team Apple we have classic apple pie. As American as George Washington. Now i know what you might say, Apple pie seems like a 4th of July thing. That’s the beauty of apple pie. You have conventional pie served a la mode. A nice Lattice cut for the 4th, and apple crisp for the fall. Pumpkin pie is always served cold which i feel like isn’t awesome all around. Apple pie/cobbler/crisp taste good hot or cold. Always comes out to play and brings its A game every time.

EXHIBIT C) Spices

pumpkinpiespice2

Now we’re getting down to microscopic powders that really make up what all the white girls want out of fall. The pumpkin spice lattes. Now for the sake of argument im gonna assume pumpkin pie spice is relatively the same thing as pumpkin spice. And here its pretty much a wash. Lets go to the tapeScreen Shot 2015-09-10 at 2.31.13 PM

Screen Shot 2015-09-10 at 2.31.47 PM As you can see the genetic make up of Fall spices mostly comprises of cinnamon, nutmeg, and allspice. Pumpkin spice has the extra ginger, but apple comes with ground cloves AND cardamom. In my house hold, extra is always the winner, but ill be generous and say this is a wash because I’m nice like that.

EXHIBIT D)Picking

pumpkin+picking

                                                        VS

Apples

Picking. An experience everyone should have multiple times in their life. Now both these experience are nice and all but the thing is Pumpkin picking is like picking one specific pumpkin. I mean no body ACTUALLY picks a pumpkin to eat (this comes into play afterwards). They pick the pumpkin for Jack-o-lanterns. Now pumpkins, as nice as they are, are all oblong shapes. You struggle to pick the correct one because they gotta work well for your jack-o-lantern face. Sure you can decorate with a few odd looking ones, but the kids all want that nice round one, a bit wider than long, can cut out a nice grin on its face. The struggle is real when trying to find the right pumpkin. Apple picking, is it ripe? yes or no. pick a billion of them, get them by the bushel, spend the afternoon breathing fresh air, and take a tractor ride back to your car. Enjoy football while your girl makes you apple pie/crisp/crumble or just take a bite into an apple and feel stronger.

EXHIBIT E)- MISCELLANEOUS

Different-Apples

When you gotta summon that extra burst of energy to make it through the day, you just gotta sugar rush yourself. No better way then caramel apples, lie to your self and say the apple is healthy, get the burst of energy from pure sugary caramel.

masthead_cider_donuts

15484b2b3785ea_5 IMG_3496-copy

Are pumpkin spice donuts a thing? Like it has to be a thing before Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts started reading buzzfeed on how to market to white women. All i know is Apple cider donuts are a thing, and to go with that Apple Cider, both regular or Sparking for the classy occasion. Is Pumpkin cider a thing? if so it sounds lame and just an apple copycat and nobody likes a copycat.

Perfect-Pumpkin-Bread

Now when i originally posed the thought of Apple over Pumpkin, i got some backlash obviously and the only thing i got back in where Pumpkin has a win over apple is Bread. I’ve never had Pumpkin bread. It sounds like a thing but i don’t really know of it. Either way, they have apple breads but ill put my trust in the public for once and prove I’m not biased. Ill give them the benefit that a pumpkin bread might be good. But if we’re gonna be totally honest, Banana nut bread is da bomb. And then if we’re gonna be totally totally honest, If i could have one sliced bread for sandwiches for the rest of my life it would be Panera’s Tomato Basil bread.

021+raw+pepitas 35b7f83dc71aee51eedadbe99f397a3a

I guessssss if im trying to find things to not be biased, Pumpkin seeds are a thing? I mean yea salted seeds are nice little snack every now and then so ill allow  for it especially since you can’t eat apple seeds. In case you’re not as worldly and full of information like i am, apple seeds contain cyanide. Now if you were to argue for team apple, Yea you can’t eat them but if you were to say plot a scheme where you kill someone with cyanide then about 85 grams or just about a cup of dry apple seeds, you can successfully kill someone. Eat the Apple to get healthy, use the seeds on you’re nemesis. Name something apples can’t do. you cant.

So there you have it folks. I laid my life on the line before you. Fought the war with every last breathe in my body. My bones were aching taking gun fine and explosions fighting the good fight but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ll sleep when im dead. Thats my dedication to making apple king again. I don’t want to live in a world where buzzfeed dictates the world and thinks for us. Long before pumpkin came along, it was apples. Toe to Toe Apple beats pumpkin in almost every damn way shape or form. If i need to get into a fist fight with every white girl i will, but Im gonna end pumpkin as fall flavor and make sure they know Apple is the Lord, when i shall lay my vengence upon them. Ezekiel 25:17. I know this is all one big bold statement and I’ll even settle for co existence, but whenever it comes up in conversation im fighting for America’s first fall fruit. Team Apple always and forever.

Am I Responsible For One Of The Biggest Stock Returns In The Past 9 Years?

The meteoric rise of tech giants like Apple, Google, and Netflix has been well documented. And if you were going to make a list of the best investments over the past decade, those would no doubt immediately come to mind. Energy Drinks Simon Desmarais/FlickrMonster is a stock market monster. See Also How Monster Energy Became The Military's Favorite Beverage The Unsavory Story Behind Odwalla's Rise To Supermarket Staple Why Acquire The Whole Company When You Can Acquire Just Part Of The Company? But when Dadaviz analyst Alis Pitchkhadze actually looked at the data of best stock market investments over the past nine years, she found something strange. There were two companies at the top you might not expect. The first is Priceline.com, a website that helps users find discount rates for things like airline flights and hotels. Pitchkhadze found that an investment of $10,000 nine years ago would now be worth a shocking $465,150.92. That's a return of over 4,500%. The other company that rose above Google, Apple, and Netflix was Monster Beverage Corporation, maker of Monster energy drinks. The stock has ballooned to over 40 times its original value over the past nine years. And Monster is now actually the top-selling cold beverage in the Army & Air Force Exchange Service. Steve Jobs once allegedly lured former Apple CEO John Sculley away from Pepsi with the line: "Do you want to sell sugar water for the rest of your life or do you want to come with me and change the world?” Now it seems that over the past nine years, sugar water (with a bit of guarana) has beaten Apple's stock. Of course, that's not to say that Monster has changed the world in a more profound way than Apple. But it certainly has found a way to get investors insane returns.

Business Insider-  The meteoric rise of tech giants like Apple, Google, and Netflix has been well documented. And if you were going to make a list of the best investments over the past decade, those would no doubt immediately come to mind.
But when Dadaviz analyst Alis Pitchkhadze actually looked at the data of best stock market investments over the past nine years, she found something strange. There were two companies at the top you might not expect.
The first is Priceline.com, a website that helps users find discount rates for things like airline flights and hotels.
Pitchkhadze found that an investment of $10,000 nine years ago would now be worth a shocking $465,150.92. That’s a return of over 4,500%.
The other company that rose above Google, Apple, and Netflix was Monster Beverage Corporation, maker of Monster energy drinks. The stock has ballooned to over 40 times its original value over the past nine years. And Monster is now actually the top-selling cold beverage in the Army & Air Force Exchange Service.
Steve Jobs once allegedly lured former Apple CEO John Sculley away from Pepsi with the line: “Do you want to sell sugar water for the rest of your life or do you want to come with me and change the world?”
Now it seems that over the past nine years, sugar water (with a bit of guarana) has beaten Apple’s stock. Of course, that’s not to say that Monster has changed the world in a more profound way than Apple. But it certainly has found a way to get investors insane returns.

Everyone who’s known me for awhile knows im just key and picking things that’ll go big. It all started in like 7th grade. 2002, 12 year old Ed Lee just trying to make his place in High School. Well being Asian and my penchant for not wanting to buy any form of entertainment, I was good at making bootleg copies of things. CDs, DVDs, If i could get my hands on it, id flip it for money. I was like Red from Shawshank Redemption, I just got people things in prison High school. Anyways, when I wasn’t selling high profile items like fake rolex’s and bb guns, my bread and butter was mix tapes for 5 bucks a pop. Well one day this kid Bryan asked me to make him a mix tape, gave me a list and when i get home i put it all together but i specifically remember i put a song called “Through The Wire”. Next day Bryan comes up to me and ask “Yo what song was that on track number 13” and i tell him “Thats Kanye West Through the Wire.” Like 2 weeks later Kanye was blowing up and like signed to Rockafella and decided to put together College Dropout. Now he’s the god damn asshole running for presidency in 2020 not making a sense about a god damn thing. Incredible

Basically my point of that story was I discovered kanye and introduced him to the world South Florida. Same thing with Monster. You think Monster Energy was the conglomerate they are back 9 years ago? definitely not. But in 2008 a year after officially changing to Monster Energy full time i picked up a Monster Energy, gave it a swig and said to myself that that shit was gonna be big. Well fast forward to 2015 after boasting one of the best Monster Can collection, they make Apple stock look like Kodak after digital cameras came out. And Seriously how about monster energy not sponsoring me when i got arguable one of the best Monster Can Collections in all the Americas.

Seriously I could’ve found a way to plug Monster into all of my blogs for you. “Fuck those drones, I wanna chug a Monster and punch a drone in its face” We coulda blown up together but they just never let me on on the fun. Just let it be known for all of you out there, Ed Lee’s seal of approval is worth like a billion dollars in 9 years probably. Monster Energy, Kanye West, I told my buddy Mike Posner was gonna blow up and he did kinda. I mean shit im pretty much single handedly keeping Blackberry afloat right now i think because im just that ride or die type of man with my companies. Brand loyalty beyond your wildest dreams.