Tag Archives: Football

Screen Rant: John Wick – Chapter 2 ****SPOILERS*****

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Welcome back, folks to another episode of Screen Rants with Ed Lee. Almost the big award show in the Oscars and I still have yet to watch a majority of the movies but thats okay because this past week I went to go see 50 Shades Darker cause I wanted to see what its like to be in a room full of chicks cumming their pants but to make sure i maintained my masculinity I went and saw John Wick: Chapter 2. John Wick, man. What a weird cult following it’s gotten. Shane Falco will always be my boy but I could’ve sworn his career died in the Matrix after freeing the world or whatever. Honestly before the Wick series the last thing I saw of his was Constantine which was good for what it was (i saw Street Kings but you can’t claim you saw it if you’re still actively trying to forget it). 11 year gap pretty much where I only acknowledged his roles as John Constantine, Shane Falco, Neo, Jack Traven or the G.O.A.T. Johnny Utah.

Every other character he’s played doesn’t matter. Then outta no where after an 11 year gap all i heard from people across all spectrum was John Wick. John Wick this, John Wick that. As far as I knew, it looked like a cheesy action thriller, and it kinda is, but still somehow good. It’s like our modern day version of Boondock Saints. If I were to tell you some Irish micks just decided one day they had to go on a killing spree because god told them to after they got drunk, I would tell you its probably a bit of a cheesy action movie, but yet we love it. In the end though the only thing different is Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day was laughable garbage, where John Wick: Chapter 2 was awesome. Doesn’t bother having an overly complicated story line or plot twist. It just kind of lives in its hit-man universe where the rules are pretty straight forward and invites as much shooting and fighting as humanly possibly. Over all I give it a 7.7 tied with the first John Wick. The first one was a bit more compelling with a whole revenge story, but this second one had some elements of that, and maybe I haven’t seen the first one in a bit, but the action in this was awesome. Might be a bit better than the first one and also deserve props for taking a cult classic and transcending the equal into a mainstream action movie (R.I.P The Fast and the Furious’ legacy [except I totally watch the shit out of every ridiculous movie in that franchise]).

KEANU REEVES: Football Guy?

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I just want to take a minute to talk about Keanu Reeves as the person we know him as. As one doesn’t really like to see the sausage get made, I almost don’t want to know the real Keanu Reeves. Don’t want to know what makes the guy tick. Every time I see him in interviews he’s kinda wacky and flamboyant and talks really loud with his hands if that makes sense. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a nice, charitable, humble guy who’s successful and has a number of roles that have defined the action movie zeitgeist (idk if i used that word correctly, if I did it kinda makes me a really good writer. low risk, high reward). I don’t know why I thought this based on two movies but I always thought growing up that Keanu Reeves was a huge Football Guy. Played an Ohio State QB twice. TWICE. In two separate movie universes. An All-American at Ohio State who made it to the Sugar Bowl and then WON the Rose Bowl and would’ve gone pro if he didn’t get his knee nuked in the 4th quarter. Such a shame. But if that wasn’t enough, there was a little nod in Speed where he figured out the bus had live recording because he realized Dennis Hopper can see that Annie’s wearing an Arizona Wildcat jacket. Really hurt my heart when I found out he’s some Canadian boy who has no idea about the game at all (sorry If i just told all of you out there that Santa isn’t real). A little bit of hope though, is that Keanu has laced up the skates before and played goalie.

Keanu Reeves, goalie coach, circa 1981. Author: The Hockey News

Keanu Reeves, goalie coach, circa 1981. Author: The Hockey News

If anything you know who Keanu Reeves kinda reminds me of? Like an older sci-fi action star version of Taylor Kitsch. This is solely based on the fact that they have roles where they definitely can pull off long hair and have played hockey but they both kind of have a similar builds. Not overly bulky, Canadian, hockey, movies and what not. Relatively quite celebrities and both have played football on screen. But enough about all that. This isn’t about Keanu Reeves or football. This is about John Wick. Which brings me to my next talking point…..

JOHN WICK IS TOM BRADY

x3psv2iComing to theaters soon after TB12’s fifth Super Bowl win in a historic overtime comeback, this has to be the first comparison that comes to mind. Its everything from the durability to take hit after hit and still perform at an elite level to the fact that he terrifies every major player in the game the way that Tom Brady is the Boogeyman to every single player/personnel in the AFC. Just for a second entertain the notion that the one week after Tom Brady had a horrible game agaisnt Kansas was like his retirement considering every ESPN analyst marked Tom as done. Well the next week was officially him/John Wick coming out of retirement and put on 2 killing sprees that shocks the entire world. Both men of focus, commitment, and sheer will. We saw Tom Brady kill 31 teams with a football. Both men that can dress sharply and look impeccable in a suit and can hit a target within a dime. Simply put, John Wick is Tom Brady. Some where in a quiet modern house tucked away in a remote suburban neighborhood is John Wick quietly eating kale and avocado ice cream with pink Himalayan sea salts and avoiding nightshades so he can be an elite assassin and take hit after hit well into his 50’s and is ready to lace and load em up ready for the next kill. Baba Yaga. The Boogeyman. JW12.

UPDATE:

IMDB no longer has a comment section which effectively cuts down half the blog. What the fuck IMDB? You’re kinda killing my job here. Well lets keep the bad news rolling. Keanu Reeves didn’t fuck a lot of chicks even though they were cumming their pants. Sad!screen-shot-2017-02-20-at-7-46-45-am

Screen Rant: Hardcore Henry

Back at it again with another screen rant. Trying to bring these things weekly but i do have another job and actively try to leave my mom’s basement ( jk its Florida, we have no basements). Well last week me and some buddies of mine hit up the Red Box and decided to peep Hardcore Henry.

Over all just a fun summer action flick. Now I’m not big on gimmicks so originally I was gonna bump this down a few pegs because this whole thing was marketed as a gimmick. An entire movie in POV from beginning to end. After watching it, overall, it was a fine action movie. I don’t know if they some how directed it in a certain way but from my viewing experience, the movie started off as a massive head ache five minutes in with this guy fighting and parkour around  some European town, but it paralleled the story line. As the main character was still confused as to whats going on with his robotic ass body, I was confused and experiencing motion sickness but half way through when he gathered his brain together and figured out his plan the POV view situation got better and I stopped having the spins. If that’s what the director was somehow going for I guess good job. I give it a solid 6.5. Story’s a bit of a mess and relied on a gimmick, but worth seeing once.  Also a pretty dope sound track. Now onto some rambling.

POV Sports

Now obviously when you hear POV your brain shoots to one thing only and that’s porn. But other than that, POV is used to bring the 1st person point of view to every day people. I’ve never stepped behind a O-line but if someone made POV concussion safe helmets i can say I’ve kinda been there at least virtually. So me and my buddies went around and discussed witch sport would be fun to watch in POV.

Baseball

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This one was like a 60/40 split on if we thought it would be fun to have Baseball in POV mode. Now If i could be in the place of Stanton and swat balls into Little Havana, that would be pretty fun but at some point you’d run into the same problem as golf where the ball becomes a little speck and then it’s just a view of you running around bases. POV on pitching might not be the best either because those quick turns to try to get the person on 1st out would probably make you jolt your neck and I guarantee after a series of that you’ll probably have a pinched nerve. Probably also some how get Tommy John from pretending to throw nothing but air. So what’s the compromise? Slow-mo POV of the ball being thrown to a person who just mashes. Like a fighter jet doing barrel rolls to David Ortiz followed by a view of the entire crowd or maybe even on an open roof stadium get a view of space at night. Majestic.

Wrestling

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We’re talking about real wresting. You know, WWF/WWE. Olympic wrestling looks boring as shit, and admittedly, I haven’t watched WWE in years so I don’t know the quality of matches they have or if they still have Hardcore matches, but throw it back to the 90’s to 2000 era of wrestling, those would’ve been gold to have some POV views. Imagine pretending to be choke slammed off of the cell. Just staring up at The Undertaker after dropping 20 feet and watch the light go out of your eyes. Exhilarating stuff. TLC matches getting thrown from a ladder into a table? A view of what it’s like to be stuffed into some guys crotch, flipped up ward so you can see the electrified fans in the packed arena rooting for you to die and lifted just so you can be Power Bombed through a Spanish announcers table. It would’ve been awesome. Definitely endorsing POV Attitude era WWF

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Nah.

Sidenote- I want a camera on the face of the goalie every time they get scored on or at the penalty kicks at the end when they realized they jumped dived 15 feet in one direction even though the ball was going the opposite way.

Hockey

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This one was a pretty big debate. Now while on the surface it seems cool to have GoPro’s stuck on hockey players, I actually don’t think I would enjoy watching an NHL game in First Person shooter mode. GoPro signed a deal with NHL to put out videos of players doing tricks and what not and while it was cool, it’s also not an actually game. Sure some people wouldn’t mind taking a Dramamine pill and watch Patrick Kane stick handle over a billion pucks but I would get sick of it, not to mention that doesn’t happen in game. Sure it would be cool to see a person stealing a puck away and scoring on a break away but it’s heads up most of the game and scanning the ice. I just don’t think it would translate well into a full 60 minutes of a hockey game. Not to mention if it were only one one player on the team then 40 of those minutes would be sitting. For me it doesn’t get the cosign

Basketball

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Do you think POV Steph Curry would be good if you can’t tell where his feet are when he’s making a 3? No. You gotta see the distance with all the camera lights going off and people in the stands. I got all I need from the TV and the backboard cam.

Bullfighting

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Not only do I need POV, I need him mic’d up too. Not even a mic for his commentary, I need like their an internal brain mic’d so i hear his thoughts. Must be a rush to watch a 2 ton beast charging at you with their horns aiming for your life. Just repeating “oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck” until you’re pretty much dead. Need to make it happen. And I don’t want to hear all the Peta people being all “Its wrong to watch these innocent creature get murdered for your entertainment” either. Don’t worry guys, when I’m watching POV bull fighting I’m rooting for the bull to win every time.

Boxing

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This is an interesting one but its not really punching in POV mode that we want, its slow mo. We love seeing a face that is structurally supported by a skull become rearranged with a strong right hook. Need to see the details of how their lips flail around and head spinning. We get pretty decent views in slow mo already, POV adds nothing. Swipe left.

Formula 1/ Nascar/ High Speed Racing

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Definitely cosigning this. I mean yea it kind of sucks not being able to see where everyone else is placing currently, but that’s almost not the point of it. I want/need to see a crash. A crash that I hope people walk away from perfectly fine, but a crash regardless. Don’t tell me that’s crass because I’m pretty sure that’s what everyone is there to see at NASCAR events. A fucking car stripped down flying at 100+mph on a slope just waiting to rub wheels with another team and then waiting for all hell to break loose when they cause a 10 car pile up. If that’s not the point of NASCAR then I don’t even want it around anymore. And as far as formula 1 goes, same thing, POV but instead of a designated purpose built track, I just want traffic cones and then an urban city. I don’t remember what the whole plot to the movie Driven is and honestly, I don’t think anyone really does besides it being a movie about a formula 1 driver and his struggles which is all racing movie I think. What people do remember is the main character and Stallone in Formula 1 cars racing through downtown LA or something. That’s what I want, traffic moving, objects in the way, Truck trailers just tall enough so it doesn’t decapitate the drivers. Tell me that wouldn’t be exhilarating POV action. Can only imagine the drama of James Hunt/ Niki Lauda flying around at warp speeds around downtown Miami. In POV none the less.

Sport Fucking

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Dont worry, I’m not sexist, there could be a women’s league too

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Not really a pro sport per se, but more of an adult competition, but a competition none the less. Just your casual afternoon when no ones home, feel like watching something competitive, just put on some POV porn Sport Fucking. Jump behind the eyes of what its like to have awesome sex. See if they sport sex well or not I guess. Who won the sex. Call me crazy but I think this one could be big.

Football

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Everyone wants to be a QB. Just at least once. Make the stellar pass, scramble and still get the 1st down, just flat out being the face of an NFL team. Want the rush of seeing line backers charging at you while you struggle to find someone open. Get Aaron Rodgers some google glasses and let me see what its like to throw a last minute hail mary and let me see what its like to rip the hearts out of all lions fans. POV foot ball would be the pinnacle. Maybe mix in a couple POV receiver shots. Watch some one cut across field and break a tackle to score a touch down. Shit I also want the Refs POV too. I have a nagging suspicion that they miss a call here or there.

IMDB COMMENT SECTION

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Hey PNTPictures, you know why you and I didn’t puke? It’s because we’re not pussies. It would be socially unacceptable to call the guy a pussy straight to his face, but you can’t be puking just from watching a movie. And I’m gonna give a ruling in saying that you’re on the edge of being a pussy, I stared at the movie the whole time. No breaks needed. Does that make me a tough guy hardo? yes, but I’m not spilling my lunch over a 90 minute action movie.

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Well rat_eater, you strike me as the type to play call of duty for 6 hours straight and then think Viet Cong is firing bullets from the tree tops when you step outside for once. Maybe lay off the screens for awhile and go outside.

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Koninji really nailed it with this one. Wow

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Not in the slightest, Sir_Farty_Farts_A_Lot.

 

Dolphins Hire Clyde Christensen As New Offensive Coordinator

ESPN- The Miami Dolphins will hire Clyde Christensen to be their offensive coordinator, a source told ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter. Christensen, who spent 14 seasons with the Indianapolis Colts, will work under rookie head coach Adam Gase in Miami. But Christensen is not expected to call plays for the Dolphins. Gase said last week that he plans to handle play-calling duties after doing so the past three seasons as offensive coordinator with the Chicago Bears and Denver Broncos. "I really enjoy that aspect of putting the game plan together with the offensive staff," Gase said. "So going into this season, that's how we are going to start, with me calling them." Christensen comes to Miami with lofty credentials. He was the Colts' quarterbacks coach the past four seasons and worked with Andrew Luck. He also served three seasons as offensive coordinator with future Hall of Famer Peyton Manning and seven seasons as a wide receiver coach for Indianapolis. The Dolphins (6-10) were ranked 26th in total offense last season and 27th in scoring, averaging 19.4 points per game. Fourth-year quarterback Ryan Tannehill had another inconsistent season. It will be important for Christensen and Gase to make sure Tannehill and the offense trend upward next season.

ESPN- The Miami Dolphins will hire Clyde Christensen to be their offensive coordinator, a source told ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter.
Christensen, who spent 14 seasons with the Indianapolis Colts, will work under rookie head coach Adam Gase in Miami.
But Christensen is not expected to call plays for the Dolphins. Gase said last week that he plans to handle play-calling duties after doing so the past three seasons as offensive coordinator with the Chicago Bears and Denver Broncos.
“I really enjoy that aspect of putting the game plan together with the offensive staff,” Gase said. “So going into this season, that’s how we are going to start, with me calling them.”
Christensen comes to Miami with lofty credentials. He was the Colts’ quarterbacks coach the past four seasons and worked with Andrew Luck. He also served three seasons as offensive coordinator with future Hall of Famer Peyton Manning and seven seasons as a wide receiver coach for Indianapolis.
The Dolphins (6-10) were ranked 26th in total offense last season and 27th in scoring, averaging 19.4 points per game.
Fourth-year quarterback Ryan Tannehill had another inconsistent season. It will be important for Christensen and Gase to make sure Tannehill and the offense trend upward next season.

Yo if you had to take a guess at his age you’d say maybe mid 40’s right? maybe late 40’s in some pictures but he’s 59! Guy turns 60 in like two weeks and looks like he should be visiting his dad in a retirement home, not the one himself to be in the retirement home. The guy just looks like a regular midlife dad. Tom Coughlin is 69, only 9  years older, and looked like he was about to become a mummy that haunts Metlife Stadium for all eternity. He looks like the same age and kinda looks like a rounder face version of Coach Taylor from Friday Night Lights and he’s only 50. Unbelievable.

As for the actual signing. It should be a pretty good one. As said before, the Dolphins want to bring Tannehill to the next level since they’re handing over garbage bags full of money to him with so far a bad season to show for it. Well the guy who developed Andrew Luck is a pretty decent start even though half of this past season he’s had back ups to work with. Aside from that the guys been an assistant HC, WR coach, OC coach, and TE coach. Guy seems pretty well seasoned from Colts. Well hopefully he see’s some potential in Tannehill and can actually turn him into an Alex Smith type QB instead of this mediocre QB/Once WR player that he is now. If all goes accordingly, next year might finally be the year where Tannehill breaks out **fingers crossed**.

Seriously though, can you believe he’s almost 60?

Dolphins Hire Adam Gase

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It was a nice calm saturday today. Wanted to get fit so i went for like a 4 mile jog ( i walked like 3.9 and jogged the last .1 mile to avoid the neighbors dogs barking at me). I went out to Panera for lunch trying to get healthy with a salad when all of a sudden news broke of this mid in line ordering a Chicken Cobb with Avocado and i didn’t quite now how to react because i just feel mixed feelings about this and i haven’t seen any of the press yet about his plan or anything. I know other teams were pretty interested and he’s kind of the guy this off season but then again this is kind of like Philbin 2.0 just years younger. All i know is my first and only reaction right away was to order an entire baguette and im almost done eating said baguette. Tons of butter too. But a bigger recap when i get time to burn these carbs.

Ugly Wins For The Dolphins But A Wins A Win

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Two of the hottest teams in the preseason go head to head went to the 4-7 bowl and only 1 team prevailed and thats the Fins baby! Ugly win but people aren’t going to remember how the team won, they just remember the record in the end of the season and as of right now thats 5-7. At this point im pretty sure Stephen Ross is laying all his eggs on the fact that we have the big 50th season game against the Giants where we go throw back uni’s and as long as we win that game, to Ross, it was a season win to his ass. Well if thats the case, maybe carry some momentum from this weeks win with a longer week to plan for playing Monday night against the Gmen and hopefully win. But thats next week.

This week was honestly a brutal one to watch. The Dolphins scoring plays all came withing 20 seconds and from there on it was sitting on our butts for a whole entire half of football waiting for the Ravens to play catch up. Score less first quarter and only 9 1’st downs for the fins and then Rashad Jones picking off Matt Schaub, which was bound to happen, then a 38 yard TD pass from Tannehill to Parker. Things were looking great, making plays on offense, then making plays on defense with a Derrick Shelby turning a blocked pass into an interception running it in 22 yards for a TD with Matt Schaub looking gassed running after him past 5 yards. A nice 2 point conversion running the ball in by Ajayi and from there it was a waiting game till the clock ticked down to 0. Was waiting for worse to happen especially with Lamar Miller fumbling the ball in Miami territory but lady luck was on our side when Justin Tucker went wide right on a missed FG opportunity.

On paper, through the eye balls, on screen the dolphins played awful but not awful enough to lose the game. Hopefully some of that had to do with Zac Taylor taking the place of Bill Lazar after he got canned earlier this week but the narrative now is that The Dolphins win when were we can someone so I don’t actually think there’s any truth to that obviously, but good on Taylor making the decision to run the ball more. Seriously week 12 we were 9 carries for 12 yards. This week, 26 carries for 94 yards. Big step up considering how bad this season has been but for now, 5-7 and everyone waiting to break these bad boys out for Monday.

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The Dolphins Might Not Win Another Game This Season

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Well that was a brutal loss on Sunday. Tannehill Tannehilled again with another botched snap leading to a safety which is becoming a common occurrence with Tannehill. To me its like when you notice one car that you dont see often and then every asshole on the road has one. Well once you see a Tannehill botched snap you should put an over total bet on how many more he’s got for the rest of the season. Not a good way to start an offense. All of this didnt help when they couldn’t push in a TD right before halftime at 1st and Goal from the 1 yard line, from there it was over. A little hopeful lights with Miller and Ajayi. A Nice trick play from Juice throwing to Tannehill. But that was all shattered when Tannehill Fumbled a ball into a Bills hand at the Dolphins 40. Another frustrating week. All hope lost and sitting at the bottom of the division.

Does it get better? meh, not hopeful. Eagles Im pretty sure we’ll lose to. Cowboys Romo should be back and they employ a woman beater so that one probably wont look good. Jets, well I’ll pray every night that we get Geno Smith at QB, but i also haven’t won the lottery yet either so that’s doubtful. Ravens is a coin flip for me. Obviously they stink but who stinks worse? A QB who’s won a Superbowl or a Wide receiver moonlighting as a QB who lets snaps fly by his face. Exactly. Now comes the NY Giants. This is one game im expecting the Dolphins to win. Why? Simple.maxresdefault

I believe the common parlance is “Its Lit.” And soon after that we they gotta fly all the way to San Diego to take on Mike Brady and the Chargers so im just gonna mark that in the loss column. After that its Andrew Luck who’s fighting form becoming a laughing stock and then we go home to RIP with Tom Brady and the New England Patriots as the Pallbearer.

Taxidermist Loved The Michigan/Michigan State Fumbled Punt that Lead to Michigan State Winning So Much He Decided To Immortalize The Play In The Form Of Stuffed Chipmunks

This photo taken Monday, Oct. 26, 2015, shows stuffed chipmunks portraying players on the final play of the Michigan State-Michigan NCAA college football game at the home of taxidermist Nick Saade in Lansing, Mich.  Michigan State's Jalen Watts-Jackson returned a fumble for the game-winning touchdown on Oct. 17. Saade tells the Lansing State Journal that the chipmunks were trapped by friends as nuisance animals. (Judy Putnam/Lansing State Journal via AP)  NO SALES; MANDATORY CREDIT

This photo taken Monday, Oct. 26, 2015, shows the scoreboard with an image of stuffed chipmunks portraying players on the final play of the Michigan State-Michigan NCAA college football game at the home of taxidermist Nick Saade in Lansing, Mich.  Michigan State's Jalen Watts-Jackson returned a fumble for the game-winning touchdown on Oct. 17. Saade tells the Lansing State Journal that the chipmunks were trapped by friends as nuisance animals. (Judy Putnam/Lansing State Journal via AP)  NO SALES; MANDATORY CREDIT

This photo taken Monday, Oct. 26, 2015, shows stuffed chipmunks portraying players on the final play of the Michigan State-Michigan NCAA college football game at the home of taxidermist Nick Saade in Lansing, Mich.  Michigan State's Jalen Watts-Jackson returned a fumble for the game-winning touchdown on Oct. 17. Saade tells the Lansing State Journal that the chipmunks were trapped by friends as nuisance animals. (Judy Putnam/Lansing State Journal via AP)  NO SALES; MANDATORY CREDIT

This photo taken Monday, Oct. 26, 2015, shows stuffed chipmunks portraying players on the final play of the Michigan State-Michigan NCAA college football game at the home of taxidermist Nick Saade in Lansing, Mich.  Michigan State's Jalen Watts-Jackson returned a fumble for the game-winning touchdown on Oct. 17. Saade tells the Lansing State Journal that the chipmunks were trapped by friends as nuisance animals. (Judy Putnam/Lansing State Journal via AP)  NO SALES; MANDATORY CREDIT

This photo taken Monday, Oct. 26, 2015, shows stuffed chipmunks portraying players on the final play of the Michigan State-Michigan NCAA college football game at the home of taxidermist Nick Saade in Lansing, Mich.  Michigan State's Jalen Watts-Jackson returned a fumble for the game-winning touchdown on Oct. 17. Saade tells the Lansing State Journal that the chipmunks were trapped by friends as nuisance animals.  Saade’s first piece sold to a Wolverine fan in New Jersey for $1,500. This one is for sale at the same price, he said.

SOURCE- This photo taken Monday, Oct. 26, 2015, shows stuffed chipmunks portraying players on the final play of the Michigan State-Michigan NCAA college football game at the home of taxidermist Nick Saade in Lansing, Mich. Michigan State’s Jalen Watts-Jackson returned a fumble for the game-winning touchdown on Oct. 17. Saade tells the Lansing State Journal that the chipmunks were trapped by friends as nuisance animals.
Saade’s first piece sold to a Wolverine fan in New Jersey for $1,500. This one is for sale at the same price, he said.

Well thats one way to immortalize a famous bad beat. I gotta say though, this guy totally fucked up by not having a taxidermy Jim Harbaugh Chipmunk. If someone wants to empty out $1500 on a piece of historic art in the form of dead chipmunks taxidermied immortalizing the last play of Michigan vs Michigan State,  I would need the details to be down to the t and that would include a dead chipmunk in khaki’s and a Michigan hat looking like he’s ready for war. I mean does this guy even have a little Paul Bunyan trophy? How about capturing the emotion of the crowd? Maybe mix in a couple of pygmy rats with the look of utter disgust and shock. Not saying I don’t enjoy this guys enthusiasm for immortalizing a historic moment, just saying I wouldn’t pay $1500 for it. Maybe like 100 bucks at max.

P.s- If he could do this for the John Elway play where he helicoptered in a touch down but have the chipmunk actually spinning that would be kinda cool too. What other plays would be awesome? Maybe Joe Carter? When Larry Bird stole the ball?

I Got Everything Wrong About This Dolphins/Patriots Game

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Welp, the clock ticked down to 0 and the carriage has officially turned back into a pumpkin. People around here were riding super high after the past two games where the Fins put a whopping on Texas and Tennessee, But its just that. Texas and Tennessee. take who ever wins the CFB National Championship against them and they’d probably win. Now i for one, never thought it was gonna be a W. But I somehow talked myself into make some bold bold predictions that none of them panned out.

First one being that Dolphins would cover in the first half whatever the line may be. I figure we’d come out strong, unwavered confidence could carry our defense and at least score on an early drive.  Well thanks to the Patriots scoring on their first drive along with Tannehill’s uncanny ability to really suck at footballs sometimes, we get a 19-0 Patriots first half (Probably gonna be their record at the end of the season). So unless anyone somehow got the first half spread at +20, the Dolphins stunk.lolphins.0

So after i talked myself into believing they’d cover 1st half, its only a skip or two away from thinking they wont get blown out. All week I’ve been listening to podcast and radio and most of it was from New England guys. Its easy to see why they’re hate able, but i listen especially this one guy i subscribe to, and you should as well just if you like sports in general is The Danny Picard Show. Now he goes on to say that Patriots were gonna blow out Miami. Now he goes on to say this after he recapped last week game where it was 44-26 fins and pretty much disregards that. Now anyone who watched knows that it was like 38-0 at half time and we were pretty much playing garbage time by the 2nd half so In my head i was saying Danny Picard didn’t see the game, yea 44-26 is close but it was all in the first half and we let the foot off the gas. Basically all that lead me to think its gonna be egg on their face when its not a blow out, but low and behold. It was pretty much a blow out at a 29 point difference. CSiPP9jXIAAFmfX

But all of the above didn’t stop my brain. Its a big divisional game. They’re gonna play tougher, If i were New England i wouldn’t worry about winning, id be worried their Offensive weapons are gonna get injured on this now 7-0 run against this hungry vicious Dolphins team. Lets see how this worked out:

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Turns out we were using one of those Looney Tunes shotguns that end up shooting yourself in the face all night.

Well we were riding really high after the last two W’s but finally checked back into reality. If anything i really hope this doesn’t hurt Dan Campbell’s chance at becoming the permanent head coach and i don’t think it will. I mean He definitely has some blame here tonight considering he said last week that preparation for this game was going to be all mental. It was gonna be game planning with the brain as opposed to just tackle drills.  Well be the time Tannehill watched that snap soar right by him i thought the whole mental game was cooked. Just absolutely rattled and ended up throwing like 2 picks because of it. But again, i like Campbell as a coach obviously more so than Philbin. And something about him when you hear him talk, he kind of sheds the big tough guy persona and falls into this emotional being. Kinda weird. He’s one of those giant softees i think deep down that just loves football and being around the guys. Well next up is Buffalo, hopefully Campbell gets it going again and we can atleast take them out in the division.

BREAKING: Welp Philbins Officially Out

The Miami Dolphins fired coach Joe Philbin on Monday after a 1-3 start to the season, league sources confirmed to ESPN. The South Florida Sun-Sentinel had earlier reported Philbin's firing. Philbin, 24-28 in Miami since taking over in 2012, became the first head coach in the NFL to lose his job this season. The Dolphins entered this year with high expectations but looked mostly uninspired and disorganized during their current three-game losing streak. Miami has been outscored 91-48 during that stretch. Philbin met with Dolphins owner Stephen Ross on Sunday in London after a 27-14 loss to the New York Jets, and said afterward that he was confident in his job security. Ross, however, had other thoughts once the team returned to the United States. Dolphins tight ends coach Dan Campbell will serve as Miami's interim head coach for the remainder of the season. The Dolphins have been awful on both sides of the football. Miami is ranked No. 23 in total offense and No. 30 in total defense, including dead last against the run at 160.5 rushing yards per game despite the addition of Pro Bowl defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh. Philbin is 4-8 in his past 12 games dating back to last season. Philbin survived the Dolphins' bullying scandal two years ago and the team's late-season collapses in 2013 and 2014. He received a contract extension earlier this year that will pay him through the 2016 season.

The Miami Dolphins fired coach Joe Philbin on Monday after a 1-3 start to the season, league sources confirmed to ESPN.
The South Florida Sun-Sentinel had earlier reported Philbin’s firing.
Philbin, 24-28 in Miami since taking over in 2012, became the first head coach in the NFL to lose his job this season.
The Dolphins entered this year with high expectations but looked mostly uninspired and disorganized during their current three-game losing streak. Miami has been outscored 91-48 during that stretch.
Philbin met with Dolphins owner Stephen Ross on Sunday in London after a 27-14 loss to the New York Jets, and said afterward that he was confident in his job security. Ross, however, had other thoughts once the team returned to the United States.
Dolphins tight ends coach Dan Campbell will serve as Miami’s interim head coach for the remainder of the season.
The Dolphins have been awful on both sides of the football. Miami is ranked No. 23 in total offense and No. 30 in total defense, including dead last against the run at 160.5 rushing yards per game despite the addition of Pro Bowl defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh. Philbin is 4-8 in his past 12 games dating back to last season.
Philbin survived the Dolphins’ bullying scandal two years ago and the team’s late-season collapses in 2013 and 2014. He received a contract extension earlier this year that will pay him through the 2016 season.

Well that was fast but also like 3 years over due. Hope the best of luck to where ever Philbin goes whether its a OC or DC job else where (any team would be dumb to put him at HC again) or maybe just moonlighting as a night time live musical performance at some run down bar. either way on to the next with Dan Campbell filling in for the rest of the season. Haven’t heard anything on Kevin Coyle yet though. His ass better go too.

The Dolphins Stink In America And In The UK

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Welp, Yesterday was fun huh? Losing 27-14 to a division rival. Start the morning completely miserable because all of a sudden all the hype going into the season about how this is a different Dolphins team is almost entirely diminished after the loss across the pond.  Lets start with the obvious.

Joe+Philbin+Miami+Dolphins+Rookie+Camp+d754hXbIc2oljoe-philbin-rapping-ftr_17c8rowngy341rbx9x4nybalvWhen I saw the video of Philbin dancing on stage singing that people should worry about the Dolphin coming to town i was almost sure They were gonna win almost all the away games. That you don’t just sing and dance to that with a baller suit and a top hat on with the utmost confidence for no reason. Well now Im thinking its more of a “Let me try to get the cool popular black kids to like me so they don’t give me a wedgie and a swirly in the locker room” type of move. Seriously I was almost getting worried his plain vanilla ass was gonna be stranded and marooned in London after yesterday. He can sing and dance all he wants and take the team to go see NWA biopics but if you suck at being a head coach and lead the team into another abysmal season your ass should get fired.

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Kevin Coyle. Umass Amherst alum. He doesn’t know football. Defense has just looked worse and worse through the seasons. should definitely leave his ass in London.

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Its time i think we start looking past Tannehill. Don’t hate the guy but he’s constantly on the boarder of being past mediocre but never seems to move past it and become a real franchise QB. Why? maybe because that boarder is an impenetrable roof that is his QB abilities. Maybe he can one day take over a game and actually lead his team to a win and playoffs but as of right now, with the way the offense looked, he no longer seems like he’s teetering on that line of being mediocre to franchise.

Ndamukong-Suh

The big bad Ndamukong Suh. 114 million dollar bust. At first i thought his ass would be melting in the Florida sun and won’t accomplish a thing. But then i said to my self, black people don’t like the snow so maybe he’ll like playing in Florida. But then its 4 weeks later and he seems like a bust. No doubt it has to do with Coyle and confusing defense schemes but I also don’t like scum players and Suh is the top of the list. Oh and he might’ve tried to kick Fitzpatricks head off. Yea it looks accidental, but thats what happens when you have a laundry list of dirty penalties as your reputation. 

So there you have it Dolphins stink in Florida, they stink in America, and they really stink in London. Hey NFL, really good job letting Florida teams being an ambassador of the sport. Dolphins now 1-2 in Wembley. and 1-5 for Florida teams. Maybe if we played in Spain we can rally with the spirits of Ponce De Leon but as for now we we slowly and depressingly march onward to Tennessee to face the Titans who has a rookie QB who I can absolutely see beating us. Hopefully though, someone’s on the chopping block this week (Kevin Coyle, Joe Philbin maybe but I kinda like him still from his on stage performance and i need that Philbin to blossom eventually.)

Side note- I wonder how Ponce De Leon would do a DC or HC? Having a 16th century Spanish Conquistador as a head coach or defensive coordinator can’t be that much worse than Kevin Coyle

"Sera esta la tierra donde puedo encontrar la Trophy de la Lombardi." Rough Translation: "Is this the land which holds the Lombardi trophy?"

“Sera esta la tierra donde puedo encontrar la Trophy de la Lombardi.”
Rough Translation:
“Is this the land which holds the Lombardi trophy?”