I love it. Here I am thinking Florida can’t get anymore dangerous or bizarre but some way we make things even more absurd. He we are just at the hanging piece of turn clinging to America’s asshole hot as hell on the brink of summer which means 100 degree weather. We have all kinds of bizarre drug news, shootings, we got hurricanes that ravage the lives of the people living here. Sea levels are supposedly rising at an abundant rate that’s suppose to kill us all in years. And now we have some rich dumb fuck probably releasing dangerous violent cousins of American alligators, an already dangerous, vicious, prehistoric reptile. Love it. Its like we recognize the joke about us and we’re just layering it even more and more until people cant think of a joke that fits all our stereotypes anymore. Soon enough we’re gonna have Polar bears roaming south beach amidst news of some rival drug cartel/race/sexual orientation related murder or something 2016 can’t really even comprehend. Its almost why this blog exist. Give me your weirdest.
I know that Bear grylls has had internet outrage for being fake and all and its a god damn show but If I see Bear Grylls cut up a dead seal and wear it for warmth, then i dont care if off camera he sleeps in a hotel. One man can only last so long filming a survival show drinking his piss and eating weird meats. I mean we’ve seen him kill animals for the sake of survival. I mean he teamed up with Drew Brees like last week to kill a god damn alligator or crocodile. Well I want Obama to do the same. Eating a supposedly half eaten piece of salmon is amateur hour type of survival. I need to see Obama spill blood. Make it known that Obama doesn’t fuck around with life or politics. Now granted I haven’t seen the full episode but the expectation is on regardless. We see all these thing about Putin lifting weights, hunting, and bullying people in hockey. Well I want obama to skin a deer, run 40 yard dashes and dunking on 4th graders. Yea his term ends soon, but thats even more of an incentive, go out on top.
Well fucking A, Zookeeper. Maybe throw more than one chicken in the feeding pit filled with hungry primordial like dinosaur of a reptiles and you wont have your talent that bring in money to your zoo eating each others arms off. Is that the plan here? Just slowly let these crocs murder each other? I mean its just got one bum wheel now but theres no way that its gonna survive in the yard with a bunch of other crocs that got all 4 of their legs working. I mean they only had one chicken to feed, I kinda think their play here is to let them all just fuck up the croc till nothings left but bones. Fucking food chain, circle of life, and nature all come into play here.
Either way that audience kinda got their moneys worth. Normally you go to a zoo and its a lot of animals just sitting their. Well not this place. Sure you kinda put your life at risk when its a pit full of hungry crocs and only separated by a janky metal chain link fence that looks like you can push and slide right under it and get your ass eaten. But that didnt happen so its a win for the spectators and for the zoo. Only loser is that croc that is going to for sure die.