Plot Twist: Her penis was actually her baby because this is actually a female and not a mouse, but a marsupial called a Potoroo. Before knowing all of that I still found it adorable.
Metro– An Austrian woman who has asked a friend for a Yin Yang tattoo on her back was appalled when she looked in the mirror and saw a massive penis, and the word, ‘F*ck’.
The tattooist had done a rough drawing of the Yin Yang symbol – and shown the 21-year-old his sketch in a mobile phone photo – before switching to ink and drawing on the penis.
When the victim saw it, which she said did not happen until she had got home and looked in the mirror, she burst into tears and asked, ‘What the f*ck? NO!’
When a judge asked the amateur tattooist, also 21, why he’d done it, he said, ‘Just because,’ according to The Local.
Love a good ol fashion dick tattoo prank. Kinda shocked you don’t see more of this really. And I partially don’t blame the tattoo artist. I mean maybe the chick bought that he was tattooing a cheesy yin yang symbol when he was starting off with the balls, But your body should be smart enough to tell your nerve endings that something is wrong when he starts drawing what was described as a “Massive Penis.” Must’ve been a rookie getting a tattoo. I mean did she not ask to see it like in a reflection or anything? Just casually assume everything looked fine? Like every time I get a haircut they put a little mirror to make sure you don’t look like a freak of nature in the back. If they don’t show me the back of my head and its about as crooked as a dog’s leg than that’s almost my fault for not asking. Love the tattoo artist’s answer to to why he did it. Simply “Just Because.”
Kate Beckinsale, man. Listen I’m with the times. I like the girls with big asses in high wasted jeans. Give me all the smokes out on Instagram shaking it letting their freak flag fly. I love em all. I’d even get down with a nerdy looking girl, what ever, I like all sorts of women. But when I see Kate Beckinsale, shes not just hot, she’s Beautiful. She’s a woman. Class, sex appeal, style all rolled up in a British body that doesn’t seem to age. When I see her, I believe in religion because there’s no way someone as beautiful as her was spawned from a fish or monkey. She has to be a work from god. The ancient Greeks would think Aphrodite was an ugly street urchin compared to Beckinsale. So is it a little gay my immature, probably not fully developed brain, would make out with Kate Beckinsale dressed as a thick veiny cock? No. It’s just me picturing what it would be like to experience a Goddess.
DailyMail– The United States’ first penis transplant will be performed for a veteran returning from Afghanistan who suffered damage to his sexual organ.
Surgeons at Johns Hopkins University in Maryland say that within the next several months they will take an organ from a deceased donor and giving it to the soldier, according to the New York Times.
The Department of Defense reports that 1,367 men – mostly under 35 years of age – suffered genital wounds from 2001 to 2013, largely as the result of improvised explosive devices in Iraq and Afghanistan.
The world’s first successful penis transplant was completed last year in South Africa for a 21-year-old man whose penis was amputated because of a botched circumcision during a coming-of-age ceremony.
The unidentified man was expected to have a recovery time of two years, but doctors say he and his girlfriend became pregnant this summer.
Doctors at Johns Hopkins are hoping that similar success will come for America’s wounded warriors.
Previous efforts for those who suffered damage to their penises involved using tissue from other parts of the body, though erections were only possible with implants that have problems such as infections.
The new surgery is first being offered to soldiers who meet certain qualifications, such as having an intact urethra.
Doctors will then connect nerves, veins and arteries from the donor penis to the recipient in a 12-hour surgery.
Nerves from the soldier are then expected to grow into the penis at a rate of about one inch per month, eventually enabling sexual function.
Doctors Wei-Ping Andrew Lee, Richard Redett and Gerald Brandacher are donating their time to the process and the Department of Veterans Affairs is paying for the immunosuppression drug that will help prevent rejection.
The doctors said that they are moving heading and planning on putting the Afghanistan veteran on a waiting list for an organ soon.
Veterans say that the surgery will help heal unseen wounds for young men and hope that some of them will be able to have children because of the procedure.
‘I don’t care who you are — military, civilian, anything — you have an injury like this, it’s more than just a physical injury,’ Army Sergeant First Class Aaron Causey, who lost both legs and a testicle because of a roadside bomb in Afghanistan, told the New York Times.
Testes are not being transplanted, and soldiers who also have testicular damage may receive penis transplants but will not be able to father children.
Penis donor’s families are asked specifically whether their deceased loved one’s sex organ can be used by another man.
South African urologist Andre van der Merwe said that one of the hardest parts of the process was finding a donor.
He ultimately made a fake penis out of skin for the deceased donor to be buried with, according to Smithsonian Magazine.
Last year, scientists at Wake Forest Institute for Regenerative Medicine announced that they had given lab-grown penises in rabbits, and were hoping to start human trials within five years.
Eight of twelve rabbits given engineered erectile tissue successfully ejaculated and four of twelve impregnated female rabbits.
Well if there’s ever been anyone deserving off a dick implant it should be the ones who get their crotches blown out serving the country and trying to protect and maintain civil peace and liberties for this countries and who ever America helps. Seriously, you want to come back home once your tour of duty is over and just lay down with a lady but you can’t even do that because terrorist fucking ruined your life. Well luckily its 2015 and we have the medical advances to give some of the power back to these soldiers who need it. Now I will say, I don’t know who these people are donating their dicks or how to build one from extra skin or something but according to the diagram provided by the medical team of Prof. Frank R Graewe, but that cock looks MASSIVE. That’s not just me right? Like that’s the main reason I blogged this story. Not because I’m glad US soldiers get to have some part of their sex life back to normalcy, which I am, but because they’re getting jackhammers surgically installed onto them. Seriously that thing can wear a wrist watch and stiff arm football players. Good for them and good on the medical staff if they do give them hammers. They go above and beyond the line of duty, well so should the medical staff surgically implanting penises. No implanting small cocks, go all out and install full blown porn star dicks for those who serve.
P.s- The lab grown rabbit dicks would be weird. Pretty sure that’s just there for the future.
![A man has earned scientific recognition after he agreed to let a bee sting him on his penis in the name of research. Michael L Smith let the insects loose on his own body, ending up with stings on his male appendage and 24 other places. His dedication to the cause earned Smith an Ig Nobel prize for physiology and entomology. The Ig Nobel prizes seek to celebrate achievements that first make people laugh and then make them think, as a spoof on the more serious Nobel Prize awarded in Sweden, which will be announced next month. The annual prizes, meant to entertain and encourage global research and innovation, are awarded by the Annals of Improbable Research. But although Smith, from Cornell University, in Ithaca, New York, carefully arranged for honey bees to sting him repeatedly on 25 different locations on his body to learn about pain, he ended up sharing the gong with another researcher. On his research, Smith explained: "If you’re stung in the nose and the penis, you’re going to want more stings to the penis, over the nose –if you’re forced to choose. "There’s definitely no crossing of wires of pleasure and pain down there. It’s painful. Getting stung on the nose is a whole body experience. Your body really reacts. You’re sneezing and wheezing and snot is just dribbling out. It’s electric and pulsating." But perhaps even more galling was that his Ig Nobel prize is jointly awarded to Justin Schmidt, for painstakingly creating the Schmidt Sting Pain Index, which rates the relative pain people feel when stung by various insects. Smith, who previously studied bee-keeping at Atlantic College in Cowbridge near Cardiff, took agitated bees in forceps and applied them to 25 different areas of his body. He then rated the resulting pain from zero to ten. His injuries on the skull, middle toe tip, and upper arm were ruled the least painful and on the nostril, upper lip, and penis shaft were the most painful. Marc Abrahams, awards founder closed the awards event with the customary punchline: "If you didn't win an Ig Nobel prize tonight - and especially if you did - better luck next year." Other prizes for unusual exploits include the chemistry prize given to Callum Ormonde and Colin Raston from Australia, and Tom Yuan, Stephan Kudlacek, Sameeran Kunche, Joshua N. Smith, William A. Brown, Kaitlin Pugliese, Tivoli Olsen, Mariam Iftikhar, Gregory Weiss [USA], for inventing a chemical recipe to partially un-boil an egg. Among the 10 awards, three went to teams of researchers that revealed that nearly all mammals regardless of size take about 21 seconds to pee, showed it is possible to partially un-boil an egg with chemicals, and used math to determine how a North African emperor from the 17th century fathered 888 children in just 30 years. Other teams earned prizes for attaching a weighted stick to a chicken's rear end to demonstrate how dinosaurs might have walked, and for showing that acute appendicitis can be diagnosed by how much pain a patient feels when driven over speed bumps. Former winners of real Nobels handed out the spoof awards at the ceremony at Harvard University in Cambridge, Massachusetts, organised by Marc Abrahams, editor of the Annals. The ceremony included a three-act mini-opera about a competition between the world's millions of species to determine which one is the best.](https://theuglyorange.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/michael-smith.jpg)
Mirror- A man has earned scientific recognition after he agreed to let a bee sting him on his penis in the name of research.
Michael L Smith let the insects loose on his own body, ending up with stings on his male appendage and 24 other places.
His dedication to the cause earned Smith an Ig Nobel prize for physiology and entomology.
The Ig Nobel prizes seek to celebrate achievements that first make people laugh and then make them think, as a spoof on the more serious Nobel Prize awarded in Sweden, which will be announced next month.
The annual prizes, meant to entertain and encourage global research and innovation, are awarded by the Annals of Improbable Research.
But although Smith, from Cornell University, in Ithaca, New York, carefully arranged for honey bees to sting him repeatedly on 25 different locations on his body to learn about pain, he ended up sharing the gong with another researcher.
On his research, Smith explained: “If you’re stung in the nose and the penis, you’re going to want more stings to the penis, over the nose –if you’re forced to choose.
“There’s definitely no crossing of wires of pleasure and pain down there. It’s painful. Getting stung on the nose is a whole body experience. Your body really reacts. You’re sneezing and wheezing and snot is just dribbling out. It’s electric and pulsating.”
But perhaps even more galling was that his Ig Nobel prize is jointly awarded to Justin Schmidt, for painstakingly creating the Schmidt Sting Pain Index, which rates the relative pain people feel when stung by various insects.
Smith, who previously studied bee-keeping at Atlantic College in Cowbridge near Cardiff, took agitated bees in forceps and applied them to 25 different areas of his body. He then rated the resulting pain from zero to ten.
His injuries on the skull, middle toe tip, and upper arm were ruled the least painful and on the nostril, upper lip, and penis shaft were the most painful.
Marc Abrahams, awards founder closed the awards event with the customary punchline: “If you didn’t win an Ig Nobel prize tonight – and especially if you did – better luck next year.”
Now off the bat i was like this guys crazy for thinking you’d rather get stung on the penis than the nose but then i gave it a second thought and changed my mind and kinda justified it. Listen If I were to take an average time of how fast it can take me to jizz its probably some where between 1 minutes and 1 minute 1 second. There’s no scientific evidence to prove that this would work the way i think in my head but if a bunch of bees stung my dick and balls MAYBE just MAYBE id loose just enough sensitivity that I would last long enough to match the time of some sexy R&B song maybe. Is it a crazy thought? yes. But probably from putting on some pain reducing numbing cream all over the place it’ll dull the sensation to the right point where it still feels good but don’t disappoint her. Now as for the nose. I have pretty good skin so growing up i never had to use any acne things. Some people would use like Accutane and want to go on a murderous rampage. Thank god that wasn’t me. But once or twice i got a black head and thought i should remove it so i rummaged through my sisters thing that was use to remove black heads. One end had like a rope thing and the other end was like a fucking hypodermic needle. Both ends of those things SUCKED. Must be like a bazillion nerve endings at the nose. Just poking it and shit make me tear up and stuff from the pain. I hope that’s normal if not then fuck you, leave me alone about my pain threshold. Maybe one more relatable is when your picking your nose and like you yank on one that pulls a nose hair. Or Just pulling a nose hair in general. Shit would bring me to my knees in an instant. I imagine that pain is just as bad as a bee sting there and I can’t stand that type of pain.
So all in all, Yea Michael Smith here might have gotten some fake award in the name of science but really he should get a real nobel prize and i hope for his sake that he’s using his award to try to hook up with women. Its the least he can do for his penis after letting it get fucked up intentionally by Bees.
P.s- “There’s definitely no crossing of wires of pleasure and pain down there.” Would be devious of Michael if he was some sadomasochist who just cums from every bee sting on his dick. Like on the record just fake being like he’s in pain form the bee stings when really the pain just turns him into a freak sex slave to bee stings.
P.P.S- This blog post is weird and i revealed maybe too much about my jizz/stamina with women.
Metro- A woman burnt her boyfriend’s penis with her hair straighteners… and he let her do it.
Why?
Because Bronwyn Parker, 22, and her boyfriend reportedly made a pact that if he was ever unfaithful to her she could seek justice in this horrific way.
The unnamed victim apparently broke this pact, leading to him receiving the injuries, which could take two years to heal.
Parker, from Mount Barker, South Australia told police she had only placed his penis in the heated straighteners for a few seconds, thinking it would leave him with something similar to a sunburn.
‘To start off with, it looked brown around the outside and it didn’t look too bad,’ she said.
‘It just looked as if you had cooked a piece of meat.’
Judge Paul Muscat called the crime ‘unusual’, but failed to see the funny side when he told Parker the man will be ‘scarred for life’ and that his penis might not even function properly any more.
He also told her in the court: ‘You regularly abused him, including physically, if you suspected, or, if he admitted to being unfaithful to you.’
After the victim spent the night with his ex-girlfriend he reportedly returned to Parker, who told him she would only ‘tap’ his penis with the straighteners.
Judge Muscat continued: ‘You took his penis in your hand and then, with the other, you placed the straighteners on either side of the shaft of his penis before squeezing them momentarily.’
The man reportedly did not seek immediate treatment to his ‘swollen and blistering’ penis due to his embarrassment.
Parker pleaded guilty to recklessly causing serious harm and was given a suspended nine month jail sentence.
Listen, you absolutely can not make that deal. One, because this obviously means your girl is a psycho bitch who’s out for blood if you cross the line in any way shape or form. Next thing you know if you even speak to a woman other than her she probably has a little shiv waiting for you at home to give you a quick poke. Any person that says they want to maim and disfigure you is bonkers. You can’t get into a relationship with that. Maybe a hook up where you can get yours and flee to safety but this aint the case here. Second, because now you have a burnt dick. I don’t want to be on any one side but i kinda want to blame the guy a little bit here. Like hey man, if you agree to getting your dick singed from a god damn hair straightener if you cheat, you’re just as crazy as the woman if you still dare cross that line. You can’t treat your dick that haphazardly and not get any of the blame. So yea it sucks you have a swollen and blistering disfigured cock now, but you agreed to it. Kinda seems like these two are craziest enough to be with each other. Its a dysfunctional relationship but they seem right for each other.
P.s- If they plan on getting back together, which i assume they will because they’re both some kinds of crazy, well then sucks for her because she has to fuck a burnt dick now, shoulda thought it through a little bit mroe.
Mirror- A man’s penis almost withered up and died after he was bitten by a poisonous snake while urinating in a field.
The farmer, who had been caught short and was urinating in a field, waited for three hours before the pain became unbearable and he rushed to A&E.
Doctors inspected the 46-year-old’s member which had become grossly swollen and was covered in blisters where the bite had made its impact.
According to the New England Journal of Medicine, the fang marks were obviously visible leading them to search for an antidote.
The incident, which happened in the Himalayas, shocked doctors who probed the man for information on what the creature looked like.
He identified the serpent by using the name ‘gunas’ which was then discovered to be a Levantine viper.
Doctors began to notice the man’s blood was clotting rapidly as the venom travelled around his body and injected him with a drug that neutralised the poison.
He was left in hospital for three days following the attack – and had black wounds where the viper punctured his penis due to necrosis which causes the tissue to wither and die.
The medics at the Sher-i-Kashmir Institute of Medical Sciences, Srinagar, India subsequently checked up on the unlucky man – and discovered that after four days after he was discharged that the swelling on his penis had decreased.
Snakes bite around five million people worldwide each year and cause 100,000 deaths.
Several hundred thousand suffer amputations or other disabilities as a result of the venom.
Alright well if you’re not paying attention by now, we here at the Orange dont like snakes and none of you readers better either. I mean If Snakes would have a pact with anyone it should be a farmer. Taking care of the lay of the land, usually keen sense of where animals are, provide a ton of land. But nope, they are again causing problems biting farmers and the dick and shit. Just being the worst thing ever. Now the snakes are a problem on one end, but also this guy is a bit of an idiot i think. I mean if you get bit in the dick by anything do you wait 3 hours before doing anything about it? None the less a venomous snake? I’ve been sack tapped before and nearly rushed to the ER when I dropped to my knees. I mean if you’re irrational like me, i probably would’ve killed myself, but if someone were there and nice enough to talk me out of suicide within 5 minutes best believe i would’ve rushed to the ER. Did he think the blood clotting made his dick look bigger or something? If it wasn’t super gross looking at that point i guess i would’ve tried to snap some pics of it first before rushing to the hospital from unbearable pains of your penis rotting off but more likely than not my medical acumen says that wasn’t the case. Well let that be a lesson to all farmers out there. Look to this mans half dead penis and know that when you get bitten the dick by a snake, rush to the hospital ASAP.
DNAindia– In what is a rarest of rare case, a two-year-old boy who had three penises since birth was operated at Sion hospital last month. The native of Jaunpur in Uttar Pradesh was brought to Mumbai by his mother for treatment.
“The boy suffers from Diphallia. At birth, he had three penises, but he was able to pass urine through only one of them,” said Dr Paras Kothari, head, paediatric surgery in Sion hospital.
Of the three penises, two had erectile tissue, which is responsible for sexual function, while the third was rudimentary. Also, his anus was absent. “There was a huge soft boney mass and tissue to which the penises were attached. However, the anus was absent. Two years ago, after his birth, the doctors in Uttar Pradesh had created an incision on the lower left side of his stomach, in a procedure called Colostomy, to let the excreta pass through a tube,” said Dr Vishesh Dixit, paediatric surgeon at the hospital.
Doctors said it is an extremely rare anomaly, with only a hundred such cases reported in medical literature since 1609. Its occurrence is one in 55 lakh live male births.
The family got the boy to Mumbai for surgery after understanding that a complex procedure of removal of penises was not possible in UP. In a surgery that lasted for six hours, doctors at Sion hospital extracted the soft boney mass as well as the rudimentary penis. “The two functional penises were fused into one, by wrapping a mass of skin around them. Further, an anal path was created through the boy’s rectum to facilitate the passage of excreta,” said Dixit.
The boy will be taken up for a second surgery at the end of August to close the incision in the stomach. “The incision, through which he currently passes excreta, will only be closed after the anal path that has been created by us heals and is capable of function,” said Kothari.
The boy’s sexual function will be normal and his fertility will not be affected when he attains adulthood, said doctors.
“We want our boy to lead a normal life, and are grateful to the doctors who have conducted a successful surgery,” said the boy’s uncle.
Hey ladies, don’t look now but whenever this kid reaches the legal sex age in india, this dude is gonna have a hammer. Part of me obviously thinks if you have 3 dicks you should just be a sexual deviant at least once. But it sounds like he had one bum one that didn’t do a thing, one dedicated dick just for peeing and the other one that is purely to jizz. Be great if he could boogie with all three but he cant, also he’s only 2 right now but thats besides the point. So now obviously the doctors just streamlined penis operations by rolling it all into one mega dick it sounds like. i mean one dick the girth of 3 dicks? No girl is safe from that thing. In a world like India the oddities and amount of abnormal people just roam the place like dinosaurs use to roam the earth. They all eventually find someone to love them. This kid on the other hand? he gets his dick to function like a normal and will probably fit into society all while having a chipotle burrito sized dick in his paints. Not that bad of an Indian life.
P.s- The whole no anus thing? they dropped that fact too casually. “Also, His anus was absent.” Nonchalant. But again, this is India we’re talking about.
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