Welcome to The Terrordome, bitch.
Fucking Florida, man. I’ve always said to anyone moving here for the first time that you should never start shit with people because in The Sunshine State, you never know which psychopath has a gun and wants to use it. Like the whole Road Rage incident a few years back. The heat gets to our brains and we can’t control our tempers anymore here. Well my second piece of advice is, if you’re on the lam, don’t hide in the wilderness because something in there almost assuredly can and wants to kill you. Its not even like this kid was hiding out in marsh land either. If he was hiding in Billie Swamp Safari, he should 100% expect to get eaten by the 100 or so animals that can kill you out there. But I get the feeling he was almost in some neighborhood retention pond and still got his ass mauled to death by an 11 foot gator. That’s what he have here now self patrolling our streets I guess. Giant ass 11 foot gators in case criminals try to run and hide in residential neighborhoods. I don’t really want anyone to die, but if its a proven method to stopping criminals I’ll be sure to bring it up at the next HOA meeting, having gators patrol the streets at night in case of criminals.
I know that Bear grylls has had internet outrage for being fake and all and its a god damn show but If I see Bear Grylls cut up a dead seal and wear it for warmth, then i dont care if off camera he sleeps in a hotel. One man can only last so long filming a survival show drinking his piss and eating weird meats. I mean we’ve seen him kill animals for the sake of survival. I mean he teamed up with Drew Brees like last week to kill a god damn alligator or crocodile. Well I want Obama to do the same. Eating a supposedly half eaten piece of salmon is amateur hour type of survival. I need to see Obama spill blood. Make it known that Obama doesn’t fuck around with life or politics. Now granted I haven’t seen the full episode but the expectation is on regardless. We see all these thing about Putin lifting weights, hunting, and bullying people in hockey. Well I want obama to skin a deer, run 40 yard dashes and dunking on 4th graders. Yea his term ends soon, but thats even more of an incentive, go out on top.