Tag Archives: Ben Affleck

Screen Rant: Live By Night ***SPOILERS****

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As you guys know from my previous Screen Rant post about The Accountant that I’m an Affleck guy. He’s a guys guy that just wants to make good movies that usually somehow pertain to Boston. Nothing wrong with that. But this time maybe I’m wondering if I can only take a new movie of his in doses. The Accountant came out not to long ago so I feel like I might be too Affleck’ed in this very moment but none the less, I had to go see the next Benny Boston’s directed movie, Live By Night.

This one was an interesting one. I’ll say off the bat it’s not bad but its not great. I feel like there might be a little bit of a Netflix syndrome with me but I feel like a story like this should be done in episodes just because its kind of this long saga condensed into one movie. That or just start the movie at a different place. I mean when I walked into it, I thought it was a Prohibition gangster movie in Boston, then it was a romance story, then for 5 minutes it was a revenge plot that went away for just about the rest of the film, then its a smuggling ring in Ybor city near Tampa mixed with a little love plot, then its a Rivalry story with the KKK and then finally it comes back around to the revenge story line. Just seems like a lot of different stories wrapped up in one movie done only good, not great. I will say the pacing and cinematography is on point. Always has a strong action beat where i never was bored. But the story and depth was just missing a little bit because they had to got through a lot of story in a 2 hour time span. IMDB so far has it at 6.8 which doesn’t seem off but it feels like a very unjustified 6.8. Its not Affleck’s best but definitely shouldn’t be a 6.8. I bump it to a 7.00 nothing more nothing less. The Accountant got a 7.4 and that’s about an idiot savant accountant dropping 50 cal bullets on a dime. That premise alone you wouldn’t think is worth anything over 7 compared to the generally well received typical Mob 20’s era movie. I give it a 7. Great number, great name.

The Classic Ben Affleck Ending

I’ve determined that my measure on if I like a Ban Affleck movie comes down to the end. So far all my favorite Affleck movies has him ending a very specific way. Where he doesn’t end up with someone he truly cares about but knows in the end he’s doing the right thing and that makes him happy and he gives a slight smile. That’s the signature Affleck moment and it happens all the time in the best and classic Affleck films.

screen-shot-2017-01-21-at-2-01-04-pmWhen a young Holden realizes he was wrong and was the reason his relationship ended with with Alyssa but is in the end happy for her even though he knows they probably wont get back together.

screen-shot-2017-01-21-at-2-09-09-pmIn Good Will Hunting when his goofy teenage looking self realizes he lost his best friend meant he listened to his advice to succeed in life and not be some southie low life.

screen-shot-2017-01-21-at-1-49-10-pmWhen Capt. Rafe McCawley loses his best friend since childhood, Capt. Danny Walker, in the Doolittle raid to bomb japan in retaliations to one of the worst attacks in US history. Yea they had a rocky falling out when they were intertwined in a love triangle with Kate Backinsale but it was really complicated. They squashed that beef when they decided they needed to enact revenge for Pearl Harbor, but when Danny dies in combat, Rafe makes damn sure he did right by Danny by taking care the loves of his life, his son and wife. (this one makes me cry every time and you don’t then fuck you.)

screen-shot-2017-01-21-at-2-03-42-pmWhen it was time for Doug MacRay to finally leave bean town behind, his life of crime behind, and unfortunately the love of his life behind. For their safety he just couldn’t be with her, because he knows he has to pay for the things he’s done. Be he knows he’ll see her again one day, this side or the other.

screen-shot-2017-01-21-at-2-26-44-pmThe time when Tony Mendez misses out on his family time with his kid even though ultimately it was his chidrens toys and movies which spawned a genius plan to rescue 6 U.S. Diplomats from the hostile city of Tehran under the guise as a Canadian film crew planning on filming a sci-fi epic using Iran has a location for the shoot. I don’t remember if the whole missing his family thing was a huge part or not so maybe this only half counts? But then again rescuing 6 U.S. Diplomats should count like 3 times as much so this fully counts.

screen-shot-2017-01-21-at-1-55-50-pmThe time when Christian Wolff keeps Anna Kendricks out of harms way because she is genuinely one of the first person in the world that Christian, a high functioning autistic savant accountant that’s trained in hand to hand combat and martial arts along with proficiency with every known firearm, has ever made a connection with. Must be hard to let someone go when she might be your only true friend that gets you, but he knows he did the right thing by moving on. Oh and he gives her like a 10 million dollar painting .

Well add Live By Night to the list with an asterisk next to it. The movie suffers from a lack of deep connection between a lot of the characters.  Mainly, spoilers, his wife who dies, but there’s no real deep connection between the two on screen. It’s just kind of an assumed love. Huge miss there. I had a deep connection all these other times. I mean Doug MacCray and his 1st true love that changed him, his best genius friend who would’ve spent his whole life pounding rocks with him, his best friend that died in combat. All have a very strong impact that give that quintessential Affleck moment all worth it. This one is there but it’s just a bit lacking. probably the weakest of the group.

Saying the Title of the Movie within the Movie

Not sure if i just missed it or they didn’t say it but they teased the shit out of it. I wanted that Peter Griffin moment of joy when they say it. I get in some movies they wont. I don’t think they said it in The Town, but he kinda gave me blue balls when there was the conversation between Afflecks character and the girl he was in love with when she says “we could sleep by day…..” and then I’m pretty sure they just stop talking and giggle. What the fuck man? If you’re not gonna have that moment in the movie that’s fine, but to bring my dick to the point where I’m about to cum and then stop stroking and give me blue balls while you giggle and talk is just plain wrong.

IMDB Commenters

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Of all the places to walk out why would you walk out on the KKK part? When it came up I had completely forgotten KKK was even involved in this movie so Ben just walking out to 3 grand wizard dragon fools burning a cross in front of his bar was a little bit of a shock to the system. And once you found out the KKK leader was an annoying motherfucker you just wanted to see him get his shit axed. How do you walk out on that?

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Can confirm, No affleck cock scene.

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Hey Marktarnovetsky, you watch your fucking mouth. The Town was awesome.

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Scott Eastwood was not in this movie, Trayoder.

 

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Blackberry Is Planning On Releasing Another Phone And I’m Conflicted As Fuck

What was once the integral appendage to any self-respecting businessman’s hand, became the trendy addiction of 16-year-olds… so Blackberry had to adapt from their four apps and use Android so kids could play fruit ninja. Just when you thought you had moved on to a sophisticated iPhone 7 and were ready to leave the awesome full QWERTY keyboard for good, TCL go and bring out a brand new Blackberry ‘Mercury’ (unconfirmed name). The Chinese tech giant TCL is planning to reinvigorate the brand with a focus on security, productivity and reliability – but they’re keeping the old QWERTY keyboard (they couldn’t get rid of that). The Android handset, which claims to offer ‘the most complete end-to-end smartphone security available on Android’, will be previewed at the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) this weekend, Mashable reports.Due to Blackberry’s dwindling success in recent years, market researchers think the new phone could be a suicide mission for TCL. I, on the other hand, have no doubt that everyone’s inner Blackberry-obsessed teenager will awaken at the sight of the keyboard.

Unilad- What was once the integral appendage to any self-respecting businessman’s hand, became the trendy addiction of 16-year-olds… so Blackberry had to adapt from their four apps and use Android so kids could play fruit ninja.
Just when you thought you had moved on to a sophisticated iPhone 7 and were ready to leave the awesome full QWERTY keyboard for good, TCL go and bring out a brand new Blackberry ‘Mercury’ (unconfirmed name).
The Chinese tech giant TCL is planning to reinvigorate the brand with a focus on security, productivity and reliability – but they’re keeping the old QWERTY keyboard (they couldn’t get rid of that).
The Android handset, which claims to offer ‘the most complete end-to-end smartphone security available on Android’, will be previewed at the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) this weekend, Mashable reports.Due to Blackberry’s dwindling success in recent years, market researchers think the new phone could be a suicide mission for TCL.
I, on the other hand, have no doubt that everyone’s inner Blackberry-obsessed teenager will awaken at the sight of the keyboard.

You know the scene in Pearl Harbor where Kate Beckinsale thinks Ben Afflecks dead and so Josh Hartnett comes in to console her and the two end up falling in love with each other but then like a phoenix from the ashes Ben Affleck comes back for his love one? Well now I fully understand what she was going through because I’m emotional torn to shit. If you don’t know by now I’m one of the few left on this planet that still uses a Blackberry. Hubris leaking out my ears for my Blackberry. Always assumed all the big wigs used them. I remember when I Ari Gold use one I was hooked and thought to myself maybe if i had one i could sign a bunch of movie stars and fire people like they mean nothing. Just ruthless business. Well as the world turns and technology advances my berry is clinging on the last remains of it’s useful life. Got an outdated version of Instagram, Facebook that loads up in a web browser and Twitter that takes 2 hours to refresh. Half my family around the world couldn’t wish me a Happy New Year because my Whats app app is outdated and no longer functioning past New Years on midnight. Can’t hail an Uber in a pinch if i needed too or fire off dick pic snaps on Snapchat. All this time I’ve been keeping up with the world with a blackberry in one hand and an iPod touch in the other in hopes that that was enough.

It came to my realization like last week that this couldn’t keep up and that I needed to change things. It was finally time I was going to give up and convert fully to an iPhone. One year to wait in hopes of getting the new iPhone 8 because all the other blackberry models just didn’t do it for me. Then outta no where….Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. I always said if there was a version of Blackberry I liked, I’d ride with them to the death. Should I concede? I’m so use to the iPod it might as well be an iPhone. I don’t know if I could honestly make a decision between the two to the point where I wish both phones went on a secret suicide mission to bomb hiroshima in a couple of B-25 bombers and which ever comes back is the one i chose to love and spend the rest of my life with even though I’m carrying the child of the fallen smartphone named after itself.

The Battle Of Autumn: Team Apple vs. Team Pumpkin

Apples

VS

pumpkins

Ahhh yes Fall is here. Now i know this doesn’t even really apply for Florida but god dammit it didn’t always use to be this way. I remember as a young boy, it was fall and just spent the day in school playing outside hanging out with friends. It was dress up day for Halloween. The winds blew and the air was crisp and i even think leaves turned all brown. I would go home, play outside with my dog running acres around the house. Go back inside and i specifically remember watching the Halloween episode of The Famous Jett Jackson. That’s right. Black teenage espionage Disney movies like you read about. Any ways, it was fall. The Environment was fall. I don’t know if its global warming or just growing up but i cling onto those days where the wind was cool and breezy in October.

Anyone who knows me knows i dream of just a farm up in like Vermont that i could go to to get away from it all with my dog and just play outside. Kick a ball around, play some football. Just watch the leaves change and shit. I’m all about that and that’s what i live for. I don’t want to die here in Florida. I want to be like the reverse Ben Affleck in The Town and instead of running away to Florida, i want to run away to New England. Until i get to that point i cling onto anything fall but one of the greatest injustice in modern life is the over rating of Pumpkin when it comes to Fall. A lot of this is due to the Buzzfeed culture and i just wont stand for it. In a 12 round heavy weight match, Apple would punch pumpkin in its dick every round and its not a question.

EXHIBIT A) Alcohol

redds-apple-ale-6-pack-bottles VS shipyard-pumpkinhead

Listen pumpkin beer is nice and all. I get it it has a nice flavor. But Apple Ale kicks pumpkin beers dick. Its crisp and refreshing and I’m pretty sure has more alcohol too so you get your buzz on faster. Yea i get it Pumpkin is more “seasonal” but again, that’s just some man made preconception. (p.s- i also like blueberry beer. That’s summer seasonal. Sea dog blueberry [that doesn’t make me gay])

EXHIBIT B) Pie/desert

Screen Shot 2015-09-10 at 2.16.17 PM

Pies. This is a monumental category. Its a lasting impression on the meal. Fourth quarter of the game. Now pumpkin pie is awesome. I do love it. Rich texture, sweet, its a tour de force for the autumn season. In team Apple we have classic apple pie. As American as George Washington. Now i know what you might say, Apple pie seems like a 4th of July thing. That’s the beauty of apple pie. You have conventional pie served a la mode. A nice Lattice cut for the 4th, and apple crisp for the fall. Pumpkin pie is always served cold which i feel like isn’t awesome all around. Apple pie/cobbler/crisp taste good hot or cold. Always comes out to play and brings its A game every time.

EXHIBIT C) Spices

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Now we’re getting down to microscopic powders that really make up what all the white girls want out of fall. The pumpkin spice lattes. Now for the sake of argument im gonna assume pumpkin pie spice is relatively the same thing as pumpkin spice. And here its pretty much a wash. Lets go to the tapeScreen Shot 2015-09-10 at 2.31.13 PM

Screen Shot 2015-09-10 at 2.31.47 PM As you can see the genetic make up of Fall spices mostly comprises of cinnamon, nutmeg, and allspice. Pumpkin spice has the extra ginger, but apple comes with ground cloves AND cardamom. In my house hold, extra is always the winner, but ill be generous and say this is a wash because I’m nice like that.

EXHIBIT D)Picking

pumpkin+picking

                                                        VS

Apples

Picking. An experience everyone should have multiple times in their life. Now both these experience are nice and all but the thing is Pumpkin picking is like picking one specific pumpkin. I mean no body ACTUALLY picks a pumpkin to eat (this comes into play afterwards). They pick the pumpkin for Jack-o-lanterns. Now pumpkins, as nice as they are, are all oblong shapes. You struggle to pick the correct one because they gotta work well for your jack-o-lantern face. Sure you can decorate with a few odd looking ones, but the kids all want that nice round one, a bit wider than long, can cut out a nice grin on its face. The struggle is real when trying to find the right pumpkin. Apple picking, is it ripe? yes or no. pick a billion of them, get them by the bushel, spend the afternoon breathing fresh air, and take a tractor ride back to your car. Enjoy football while your girl makes you apple pie/crisp/crumble or just take a bite into an apple and feel stronger.

EXHIBIT E)- MISCELLANEOUS

Different-Apples

When you gotta summon that extra burst of energy to make it through the day, you just gotta sugar rush yourself. No better way then caramel apples, lie to your self and say the apple is healthy, get the burst of energy from pure sugary caramel.

masthead_cider_donuts

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Are pumpkin spice donuts a thing? Like it has to be a thing before Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts started reading buzzfeed on how to market to white women. All i know is Apple cider donuts are a thing, and to go with that Apple Cider, both regular or Sparking for the classy occasion. Is Pumpkin cider a thing? if so it sounds lame and just an apple copycat and nobody likes a copycat.

Perfect-Pumpkin-Bread

Now when i originally posed the thought of Apple over Pumpkin, i got some backlash obviously and the only thing i got back in where Pumpkin has a win over apple is Bread. I’ve never had Pumpkin bread. It sounds like a thing but i don’t really know of it. Either way, they have apple breads but ill put my trust in the public for once and prove I’m not biased. Ill give them the benefit that a pumpkin bread might be good. But if we’re gonna be totally honest, Banana nut bread is da bomb. And then if we’re gonna be totally totally honest, If i could have one sliced bread for sandwiches for the rest of my life it would be Panera’s Tomato Basil bread.

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I guessssss if im trying to find things to not be biased, Pumpkin seeds are a thing? I mean yea salted seeds are nice little snack every now and then so ill allow  for it especially since you can’t eat apple seeds. In case you’re not as worldly and full of information like i am, apple seeds contain cyanide. Now if you were to argue for team apple, Yea you can’t eat them but if you were to say plot a scheme where you kill someone with cyanide then about 85 grams or just about a cup of dry apple seeds, you can successfully kill someone. Eat the Apple to get healthy, use the seeds on you’re nemesis. Name something apples can’t do. you cant.

So there you have it folks. I laid my life on the line before you. Fought the war with every last breathe in my body. My bones were aching taking gun fine and explosions fighting the good fight but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ll sleep when im dead. Thats my dedication to making apple king again. I don’t want to live in a world where buzzfeed dictates the world and thinks for us. Long before pumpkin came along, it was apples. Toe to Toe Apple beats pumpkin in almost every damn way shape or form. If i need to get into a fist fight with every white girl i will, but Im gonna end pumpkin as fall flavor and make sure they know Apple is the Lord, when i shall lay my vengence upon them. Ezekiel 25:17. I know this is all one big bold statement and I’ll even settle for co existence, but whenever it comes up in conversation im fighting for America’s first fall fruit. Team Apple always and forever.