Tag Archives: MCU

Adult Autograph Seekers Are The Worst And Spider-man Absolutely Wont Stand For Them

 

Tom Holland, a Nice guy. Best Live action Spider-man. Super Excited for Far From Home coming out next week.

Do you know how big of a loser you have to be to be an Adult Autograph seeker? I honestly don’t even want to spend much time on it because its been said for years now. Athletes voicing their thoughts when grown men trample kids to get shit signed just to sell on ebay and stuff. The part that is wild is just how little an autograph fetches you in the grand scheme of things. Like is it really worth camping out waiting in a group where you awkwardly stand out because you’re a grown middle age man wearing a baseball hat

in a sea of what seems to be teens who aren’t at the age where they need to have major responsibilities and can have teen heart throbs like Tom Holland. Besides who the fuck actually buys these things? Its 2019. No one wants an autograph, they want picture proof. Video Proof. Infact video proof of Tom Holland defending you from an Adult autograph seeker probably is worth more than any signature. This right here is the high. 31k retweets 218k likes, Even more over multiple tweets and prestigious websites such as TheUglyOrange blogging about it. Signatures aint worth shit pal. Even Tom Hollands and I like the guy.

 

As Octavia Spencer Plans On Buying Out A Screening Of “Black Panther” For Underserved Communities, I Too Want To Buy Out A Screening Except To Keep People Out Of The Theater

EW- Octavia Spencer is bringing her own brand of super-heroism to Black Panther.
The Academy Award-winning actress announced on Instagram on Wednesday that she plans to buy out a movie theatre in Mississippi, where she will be when the film opens, to offer screenings to underserved communities.
“I will be in MS when this movie opens. I think I will buy out a theatre in an underserved community there to ensure that all our brown children can see themselves as a superhero. I will let you know where and when Mississippi. Stay tuned. #KingsAndQueensWillRise,” she captioned an Instagram post that featured an image promoting the film,
Spencer previously bought out screenings of Hidden Figures in low-income neighborhoods in Los Angeles to ensure those that could not afford to see the inspiring film would be able to have the chance. Many of her Hidden Figures costars then followed suit.
Black Panther hits theaters on Feb. 16.

What a heart on Octavia Spencer. Honestly that’s so dope of her. Black Panther looks like it’s gonna be awesome and from what I’ve heard with the World Premier earlier this week, it is awesome and gonna be a huge hit. To finally have a black super hero on screen in a good movie is a great thing and for Octavia Spencer to be able to connect children that can identify with a strong and powerful character like the king of Wakanda is amazing.

All that being said, I too, have been working on buying out a screening of a big movie as well. Only problem is I’m doing it because it think it would be very very fun to cuck nerds. But see it’ll be well deserved because of how many fucking movies a year I watch and how much I spend at Regal. 50+movies last year just racking up regal points all for the ultimate goal of having enough points to buy a theater like a boss. With an average smaller theater room having around 96 seats, I know I’m far from my goal but listen, the beauty of Hollywood is they keep on pumping out the same franchise stuff over and over again. By the time Avengers 8 comes out or Star Wars episode 69 hit’s theaters lord knows how many points I would’ve accumulated by then with movie viewings and popcorn purchases. Imagine the final Star Wars movie. Yoda comes back, Luke comes back. The nerds would refinance their home for that shit opening day if they need to. But the second they hop on Fandango looking to purchase a ticket for a 10 o’clock screening and they look to reserve their seat and then they become absolutely flummoxed. Absolutely ZERO seats available. They missed out. They sneak in the theater only to find one Chinese man sitting where ever the fuck I want changing seats 90 times because the fact is all those seats are mine. And when they try to sneak in and take a seat I’ll laugh as security shames them and escorts them out of the seat because it’s reserved for me. The theater all to myself. The dream.

 

They Dropped The New Ant-Man And The Wasp Trailer

 

Here’s a fun joke you can make to Marvel nerds.

“Hey I think i got splashed with some pym particles cause something just grew in my pants after watching this trailer.”

Get it? cause the Pym Particles can make things grow, and you just received an erection probably watching this trailer.

Not much to say but to think im looking forward to this more than i thought. Honestly that might be part of the charm to the Ant-man franchise. It’s the most under rated character in the Marvel arsenal. Ant man 1 wasn’t anything spectacular but it might be in my top 10. It takes a step away from from the mass chaos that has to be the other Marvel movies. Just have a little heist action, some funny jokes from Michael Pena, and watch another piece of the Avengers movies with out having the serious tone of the fate of the world on their shoulders. Now a little notes so far from the trailer.

-The Timeline is set after Civil War obviously. I’m curious to see how it plays though because we’re going to get Infinity Wars before Ant-man even though Ant-man is going to be in Infinity Wars. And more curious now how it plays into Avengers 4 because from set photos he plays a very important part what seems like some time travel mischief.

– Lawrence Fishbourne’s Character was once Giant-man/Goliath. Curious to see who he plays in the movie. Could we get a giant vs giant fight? Speaking of which…

– Paul Rudd’s little chuckle when he went giant in Civil War warms my heart.

– I want to see what this Pym Mobile has. Cars and their gadgetry always sells and then I need to see Michael Pena rolling around in this pimped out hot rod Hyundai veloster. In a weird its a shame. Iron man gets Audi’s, there’s new Acura NSXs in Avengers, Black Panther has lexus, but here we’re stuck with the cheap ass hyundai’s for the Ant-man franchise. What ever, Blake Griffin pushes Kia’s, Ant-man pushes Hyundai and i have a strong feeling that’s Michael Pena behind the wheel for a bit.

– The fictional tech that is everything in the Marvel universe. Too see the helmet flip back and fold up into a small thing behind the neck like it’s Start tech made a drip come out. I don’t know why that is but they always are able to do these little things that help sell me. In Age of Ultron if you slow it down you see Stark Close in his hand so the gauntlet flying over can slip over his hand. The way Spider-man slaps down his webbing so it sticks to the boat ferry. Even Ant-man moving his head in a way as if it kicks the helmet back. It all sells it so it doesn’t make me thing it’s just CGI over everything even though it is.

-They knew this was going to make the trailer. Also, Evangeline Lilly, much hotter with long hair. I didn’t hate her character in Ant-man but the short hair cut and power suit did make her seem like a stiff. Now with the hair down, normal wear, suit that can shrink her into a little acrobatic wasp at her whim, she seems like her character can be much funner than her serious, bossy, father hating character she had mostly in Ant-man.

 

 

 

Stan Lee Is Now Involved In A Sexual Harassment Lawsuit

Page Six– Comic book legend Stan Lee has been accused of groping and harassing the nurses who care for him at his home in Los Angeles.
According to the Daily Mail, the nursing company is currently in a legal dispute with the 95-year-old Marvel creator after nurses claimed he asked for oral sex in the shower and to be “pleasured” in his bedroom.
“He doesn’t seem to care what people think of him, he’s lost his filter,” a source told the tabloid. “There has been a stream of young nurses coming to his house in West Hollywood and he has been sexually harassing them. He finds it funny.”
The source added, “He’s also very handsy and has groped some of the women, it’s unacceptable behavior, especially from an icon like Stan.”
A rep for the nursing home confirmed several nurses have complained and the owner of the company has spoken to Lee directly, but the company stopped working for him at the end of 2016.
“Mr. Lee categorically denies these false and despicable allegations and he fully intends to fight to protect his stellar good name and impeccable character,” his lawyer said in a statement to the site. “We are not aware of anyone filing a civil action, or reporting these issues to the police, which for any genuine claim would be the more appropriate way for it to be handled. Instead, Mr. Lee has received demands to pay money and threats that if he does not do so, the accuser will go to the media. Mr. Lee will not be extorted or blackmailed, and will pay no money to anyone because he has done absolutely nothing wrong.”
Meanwhile, a rep for the new nursing company working for Lee said he has been “polite, kind and respectful” to their staff.
Lee’s wife of 69 years, Joan, passed away in July at 93 years old.
A rep for Lee did not immediately return our request for comment.

Listen I’m not gonna try to pretend the stereotype of old creepy men who try to get nurses to jack them off during sponge baths isn’t a real thing. Stan Lee and that age group grew up in a time where that shit was common place. The reason it kills me a little deep inside is because I know how much he loved his wife. I mean read this shit and try to not drum up thoughts of a perfect romance story.

“When I was young, there was one girl I drew; one body and face and hair. It was my idea of what a girl should be. The perfect woman. And when I got out of the Army, somebody, a cousin of mine, knew a model, a hat model at a place called Laden Hats. He said, ‘Stan, there’s this really pretty girl named Betty. I think you’d like her. She might like you. Why don’t you go over and ask her to lunch.’ Blah, blah, blah.

“So I went up to this place. Betty didn’t answer the door. But Joan answered, and she was the head model. I took one look at her — and she was the girl I had been drawing all my life. And then I heard the English accent. And I’m a nut for English accents! She said, ‘May I help you?’ And I took a look at her, and I think I said something crazy like, ‘I love you.’ I don’t remember exactly. But anyway, I took her to lunch. I never met Betty, the other girl. I think I proposed to [Joan] at lunch.”

his wife was his muse and the guy didn’t even know it till he accidentally ran into her! I tear up thinking about running into a the girl you’d been dreaming about all your life but then i tear up more thinking that image is tarnished by the idea of Stan Lee asking nurses to jerk him off while he touches up on The Amazing Spider-man Issue #121. What ever happens happens, hope he stops sexually harassing nurses. Not like I’m a comic book artist so I’m not personally offended but I damn sure do love every single marvel movie and this world he helped create. Which brings me to my last point.

You gotta kill Stan Lee’s cameo in Infinity Wars right? Like not kill it as in “yea we crushed it, great scene!” I mean I want to see Stan Lee die in it. You can’t talk about how Thanos is the big bad in a movie thats a culmination of 10 years and not stick a shocking dagger in every person in the audience. I mean people already assume Thanos is gonna wipe out half the universe, Key characters potentially dying. Why not really make Thanos one of the most iconic villains by at least on screen killing one of the most iconic cameos/character of all time. There doesn’t need to be any continuity issues, the guy showed up in space in GotG2. Not like its some crazy plot hole if he shows up in movies after. But the fact is this is suppose to be one of the craziest Marvel movie to date, he’s 95 years old. At that age you never know whats gonna happen. Do we want his last memory to be a 95 year old sexual harassing old man who yelled at Peter Parker in Spider-man Homecoming 2? No. We want to have our heart strings ripped out when he gets vaporized by Thanos and the Infinity Gauntlet.

 

6 Rebuttals To ” 6 Reasons Why ‘Justice League’ Can Be Better Than ‘Avengers'”

At this point I think I’m just gonna be a full on DC Hater. From what i gather from nerds, DC is ruling in the comic book world while Marvel is killing it on screen. Lucky fro Marvel, I watch comic book movies, not read them like some nerd. and from the 10 year span Marvel has done a solid job while every DC movie just stinks in comparison. Now they don’t have as many, but they want to set the scale and be up to par with an action packed super hero movie, then I’ll judge it as so. And while Heroic Hollywood wants to defend what Justice League seems to be, I’m here to trash it into the ground. Buckle up cause its about to get Nerdy as Fuuucckkkkkk

6.) Age of Heros

While Batman and Wonder Woman will have had a little more time to shine on the big screen when Justice League comes out, Cyborg, Aquaman and Flash are really all making their big-screen debut here. Wonder Woman calls the time period around Justice League a new “Age of Heroes” during the trailer, and I really want to see that angle pushed. Now that the Marvel Universe is torn apart and the Avengers need to slowly come back together, it falls on DC to show us what a fun superhero team looks like right now.
Under Zack Snyder’s supervision, Superman never struck me as overtly heroic. Hopefully, in his death, he will serve as an inspiring force who pushes others to heroic heights. Batman was visibly jaded throughout most of Batman V Superman, and I’m hoping we will see a Batman in Justice League who pushes others to do what’s right.
Flash is one of my all-time favorite comic book characters and I’m excited to see how they handle him on the big-screen. Barry Allen has always been the team’s hopeful optimist, and I think this movie will see the DC Universe embrace a lighter, more joyous tone going forward. Batman and Wonder Woman will need all the help they can get as they work to assemble a team to defend Earth from the threat posed by Darkseid and his loyal followers.

This is a reason? We “immediately” need a teamed up Super Hero movie? By the time Justice League Rolls around, I’m pretty sure GotG Vol. 2 will roll around on Blu-Ray which would probably be better, if not maybe get Spiderman Homecoming probably around then as well. Oh and Thor who teams up with the Hulk in Thor Ragnarok comes out like the week before JL. How can you say,  a team up super hero action movie is better than the other when the other has already done 2, 2.5 team up movies with a 3rd in the making that has a cast of 64 different unique comic book characters? Marvel tore the team apart so they couldn’t immediately curb stomp Thanos. They’ve been around long enough to build up, tear em down, and build em back up again.

5.) Aquaman

Jason Momoa is the DC cast member I’m most excited to see blossom and grow within the cinematic universe. Momoa, a Hawaiian born actor, said he is excited to blend the character’s origin with some of the water deities associated with his culture. Aquaman is the butt of a lot of jokes, but it’s hard to laugh at him when it’s Momoa’s tough mug staring down at audiences. Momoa has martial arts experience due to his roles in Game of Thrones and Conan, meaning he will have no problem making things look good when Aquaman has to tear through a few enemies.
That isn’t saying there won’t be any comedy for Momoa. My favorite parts of the most recent Justice League trailer feature Momoa cracking jokes and smiling as he and his teammates ready for battle. His cocky attitude is just as fitting (and perhaps annoying for his fellow League members) on the battlefield as it is in the mess hall and I’m excited to see how his teammates react. Batman and Wonder Woman seem hard and serious in the DC cinematic Universe, so it will fall to Momoa to make sure the audience is smiling in the middle of what will likely be a dark and dour movie.

Tell me this guy isn’t holding his breath underwater

Guy might look like a bad ass biker type when he’s on land and all but why the fuck do I care about Aquaman when he’s on land? Guy looks like he’ll choke and drown if I pinch and hold his nose. As an Aquaman, you kinda lose all respect if you can’t breathe underwater. Not to mention Marvel has been kinda hinting at having their water guy Namor being introduced into the MCU as well and I’m not ruling him out for Infinity Wars. But as of now, you can’t have a guy that can’t breath underwater, who plays a king of water, as a reason it’s suppose to be better than a billion dollar franchise. Do better.

4.) Intro to the New Gods

The New Gods are a group of cosmic beings in the DC Universe created by the legendary Jack Kirby.
These New Gods emerged after Ragnarok (the death of the old gods) and quickly developed roles for themselves. All of them originally lived together, but now they have splintered and find themselves living on two separate planets. Highfather leads the people of New Genesis while Darkseid controls the inhabitants of Apokolips as the two groups compete for power and influence across the universe.
Not only are they mythical creatures with magical power, they also belong to technologically advanced societies. Their technology has often bled over into Earth and the presence of the mother box in the Justice League trailers provides a hint that the New Gods will be featured somehow. Rumors even point to Cyborg being integrated with New God technology, making it more likely that they will become key players for the DC cinematic universe soon. Plus, if the Justice League is prepping to take on Darkseid, the New God equivalent to Hades, they are likely going to need the help of Orion, his oldest son and one of the League’s strongest members, to defend Earth.
For people searching for a good entryway into the New Gods, look out for Tom King and Mitch Gerads upcoming Mister Miracle 12-issue series set to debut in August. It was only announced last week and it’s already my most anticipated comic of the year. Hopefully Mister Miracle will make his big-screen debut in future Justice League movies as the battle with Darkseid becomes more established.

From what I gather this means that they introduce aliens with god like strength and it bleeds into earth? So Stark tech mixed with Chitari tech mixed with a little Thor? And all of this is based on rumors instead of what’s been released plot wise? Are you allowed to count hypotheticals as solid reasons? No. I hypothetically could have sex with a billion girls, doesn’t mean my sex count is higher than Gosling.

3.) War between Atlantis and Amazon

It’s already been established that the movie will feature a prologue from the past featuring Atlanteans and Amazonians competing over a mother box lost on Earth, but I hope there is more conflict for these two groups in the future. Both groups consider themselves above the rest of the world and that type of sureness can only be accepted by the other side for so long before they snap and start fighting. It’d also be really cool if we learn that these two groups have been locked in eternal skirmishes and a lot of natural events can be blamed on their conflicts. Imagine if the burning of Pompeii or the sinking of the Titanic weren’t caused by natural disasters but instead by dangers presented whenever the King of Atlantis and Queen of Thymsceria battled.
After the Justice League takes down Darkseid in a future movie, I want to see a movie focusing on a war between Amazonia and Atlantis. Not only will it feature some crazy action sequences that show two distinct, advanced civilizations squaring off, but it will put the team in the middle of an emotional conflict without an obvious moral choice to make. Wonder Woman and Aquaman, who should be the focus of whatever movie finally touches on this conflict, will both have to choose between their old friends/families and their new teammates as they try to dissolve the tension and stop the fighting.

This is all this list is, future events that may or may not happen. Yea if Marvel can pull any story line from their past that will be epic I’m sure they could, but they also gotta worry about making the movie good. Man of Steel stunk, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice stunk, Suicide Squad was trash. Im sure DC can pump out all they want with a green screen and poorly lit color pallet but I’m siding with the score board here. You want to see 2 advanced civilizations square off? Well I got that. Avengers, Mad war titan Thanos vs one of the best civilizations ever, Humans. We’ve accomplished so much with so little, I’ll never turn my back on Humans.

 

2.) Batman

I know I already briefly mentioned him in this article, but honestly Batman alone is a solid reason to think Justice League could be an amazing movie. In fact, I don’t even think we really need the other League members, we should just have seven Batmen running around.
Throughout his cinematic career Batman has primarily worked alone, but Justice League will finally see him take a leadership position within the superhero community. It doesn’t matter who Batman is fighting against or with, he is always the most dangerous person on the battlefield. For all of Batman V Superman‘s problems, Batman’s fighting abilities were awesome to watch. Seeing him zip away from Superman’s laser or easily take down Luthor’s thugs are things I want to see expanded upon in Justice League. I want to see Batman run fist-first into a group of Parademons and emerge unscratched on the other side. Batman is simultaneously the brains and the brawn, and it will be interesting to watch him slowly develop a team and expand upon his desire to play with others.
He might not be the hero we need, but Batman is always the hero we deserve and I can’t wait to see him kick some alien ass.

The second line of this is basically them saying they dont want a Justice League movie, rather a Batman one. Now I like Batman for the most part. Nolan’s Batman movies are awesome and are top tier comic book movies that I can’t dispute. But man fuck that guy. Always dealing with issues abotu his dead parents. The Martha bit in BvS was honestly a joke that kinda feels like jumped the shark but in the end when you break it down, would you give an ISIS leaders a pass because they shared the same name as your mom? No. And people think Superman was fucking lucky being unstoppable strong and fast with all the power in the world to dominate, well fucking same deal with Batman. They just always end up writing him as the best. Some how he’s fast enough to zip away from a laser at high speeds? He’s always the master of the strategy even though u can plop him in space and oh yea he had a space suit ready just because he’s batman. The Writers made him a cheap fuck and I wont stand for it anymore. He might be the Brain but you can’t say he’s the brawn when he himself technically like a small fraction of Superman’s strength. But oh he invented some thing that made him stronger and had it ready just like that so he can pull it out of his pants pocket. Fuck that guy. Im glad his parents are dead.

1.) Darkseid

A lot of you may think DC is copying Marvel by featuring a giant purple alien as the big baddy in the background, but Thanos is actually a direct copy of Darkseid.
Darkseid is the tyrannous leader of Apokolips, a planet that has been ravaged by war and destruction. He leads an extremely militant society and views everyone as an extension of himself and the state he has world he has built. His control over the dangerous anti-life equation bends people to his will and serves as his most powerful weapon as he tries to expand his reign across the universe. His goal will be achieved only when free will is wiped away from the universe and everyone works for and serves Darkseid’s image.
Darkseid views other deities as a threat and has been known to murder New Gods, Greek Gods and Olympians just to secure his own position. His intense power makes him a huge threat and he has no problem taking Superman down single-handedly. While his uncle Steppenwolf is the main villain in Justice League, played by Game of Thrones alum Ciaran Hinds, expect to see Darkseid plotting in the background as he lays the groundwork for a full-scale invasion of Earth.

You think I give a fuck who was made first or who copied who? Who showed up on screen first and better? Thanos. Let’s just go with what will happen in the cinematic universes, Thanos get’s a glove that can erase the universe from existence. Darkseid is after some thing to bend people’s will? The Mind Gem in the Infinity gauntlet I’m pretty sure can do that alone. Darkseid = Trash. Thanos is better/ he’s being played by Josh Brolin/ Kelly T., a lady who cut my hair once in Boston, also cut Josh Brolin’s hair. Me and Thanos having the same Hairstylist once makes him better alone.

 

Screen Rants: The Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2 ***SPOILERS***

Peter Quill and his fellow Guardians are hired by a powerful alien race, the Sovereign, to protect their precious batteries from invaders. When it is discovered that Rocket has stolen the items they were sent to guard, the Sovereign dispatch their armada to search for vengeance. As the Guardians try to escape, the mystery of Peter’s parentage is revealed.

Well folks, between the abhorrently hot and humid weather, baseball on TV, and Hollywood printing money from action movies, it’s safe to say we’ve officially entered Summer blockbuster season. No better way to usher in the season with one of the hottest film franchise from one of the hottest studios, with Marvel Studio’s Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. I took the time out of my very busy schedule to watch it just so I could write this up at 1:16 am just in case any one out there is too dumb to realize a billion dollar film franchise is playing in theaters currently and they do in fact want your money.

GotG Vol. 2, like most other Marvel movies live up to the hype. It’s crazy the universe they’ve built where we’ve accepted and happily welcomed in a movie that features a talking racoon, a tree limited to 3 words, and people of races of so many colors you’d think racism in America was dead decades ago. Well what the first GotG movie did that I think people like about it was two things, it opened the doors and brought in higher concepts to the MCU with the cosmic world. We all know by now that this is all setting the stage for probably one of the largest blockbuster movie’s ever in The Avengers: Infinity Wars. They explored the idea of galaxy’s and other worlds, celestial beings, and learned more about the infinity stones and the creation of the universe for god’s sake. All very crucial to adapting how the rest of the MCU will fit in place when Infinity Wars come about. Well Vol.2 gave us a bit more of that by introducing a character like Ego the Living Planet. The idea and sense of power a Celestial being has and how it deals with the rest of the universe is pretty big consider we are going to eventually some how gonna see guy’s like Captain America and fucking Hawk-Eye some how deal with fighting a construct like that, but half the battle is established by translating a character like that on screen. I was pretty skeptical about how it was all going to work when the character is just a planet with a face on it in the comic books.

But Kurt Russel and James Gunn did a good job portraying that on screen actually translating him to a human form and how he’s connected with the planet and all that nonsense.

What Vol. 2 doubled down on, unfortunately though, was the humor of it all. The first one was the right amount of humor. This one kind of all comes across too jokey and kinda brings it down for me. Don’t get me wrong, the parts that are funny are funny but it’s just too much in the movie. The first one had just the right amount of humor from a guy like Drax. He didn’t say overly much in the first one so every time he had a nice subtle joke, he killed it. This one, all of his dialogue were written to be funny and kinda over does it for me. Every scene had to have some sort of joke to it, it feels like and it’s not a bad choice, but I would personally like it more if it scaled back and gave me some more world building dialogue that didn’t include a punch line.

Overall the movie was a solid 8 where most Marvel movies fall. Some people argue that the Villains in Marvel movies stink and to some degree it’s true, but a villain like Ego surely was better than Ronin with his motives and over all character. Ayesha, the gold lady,  was a bit of a water ever side plot villain but it definitely helped drive the plot. The plot itself isn’t very overly complicated but the movie is mostly character driven with characters like Ego, Starlord, Nebula, and definitely Yondu who kinda steals the show in Vol. 2. If you’re not savvy to all of what’s going on with Marvel movies you might not get what’s going on and it might be confusing to keep up, but even if you’re casually watching you should find it a fun watch with the humor and action. Not as good as the first one because its so hard to recreate the discovery and introduction to it all, but now immersed in this world, they do a good job trying to not fuck it up and showing a story that really stands alone that helps build the cosmic world for future films.

Now onto some discussion.

 

Ego’s CGI Transformations

From the second they stepped into Ego’s temple, I got the feeling the CGI was weird. Not the building or anything, but when he has those spheres that kinda display what ever he wants from the creation of him and the models of humans and stuff. It was all weird looking CGI. I mean they were just suppose to be projections so I didn’t think much of it. Just assumed they were clay-mation like projections that he can mold to show what ever. But I was appalled when I saw the CGI work they did when Ego and Peter fight. Hail of gun fire reigns on Ego to no avail only to show CGI of him rebuilding himself in a mixture of Dr. Manhattan in The Watchmen at first to then looking like early 2000’s CGI of Hollow man or even kind of like Ghost Rider quality CGI. Maybe it was just me but at the time, it looked kinda bad to me.

 

Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel

Do you think these 2 ever feel left out? I mean as an Actor I assume you want your face everywhere for publicity sake right? Yet almost all these P.R. photos Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel don’t show up ever at all

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I mean Bradley Cooper is an A list star and Vin Diesel is a crucial character in 2 Major billion dollar film franchises. I mean sometimes I even forget those 2 are in this movie. Especially in this one, baby Groot, no chance they dragged Vin Diesels muscular ass into the studios for this. They probably audio photo chopped his previous recordings so it sounds like its coming from a tiny tree guy. I mean If you’re getting paid what they’re getting paid, it’s hard to complain. Especially Vin Diesel who has 3 words total he has to say. but still, you gotta figure they’re kinda jealous they miss out on a lot of the spot light.

 

Starfox

I’m not savvy to all the modern day video games because I suck and don’t have the patience to play, but yo how dope was Star fox back in the day. Tell me you didn’t get a hint of that when you saw Rocket Racoon and Peter Quill navigating through an asteroid field with hundreds of the Sovereign fighter space ships on their tail gunning them down until they double spin through little honey comb like portals. They need to remake that for whatever systems they have now. Dopest dope.

 

Cheddar Bob

Shout out to Evan Jones for being apart of the Ravagers. Guy has one of those faces that is so recognizable I think. I mean I noticed him right away. With a stand out face like that you’d think he’d have more roles in Hollywood but then again maybe its because his face looks like that of a bum which is what he was in 8 mile and the Ravagers aren’t exactly deep characters either. He also looks like Jimmy Clausen. Bad look on his part.

Post Credit Scenes

FIVE post credit scenes. FIVE. 1,2,3,4,FiF. Honestly I’m getting a little sick and tired of these. GotG Vol.2 has them spaced out so it doesn’t seem to make the credits that long but either way, fuck that. Give me 1 post credit scene. 2 max. Either way, I’m not acknowledging any of these people who worked on the film. I bet if you’re a movie usher or one of those people who have to clean up you must hate the shit out of the post credit scenes because now everyone sits there an extra five minutes, which is five minutes until you can finish cleaning, which is five minutes more taken out of your life that inevitably makes you want to kill your self. And speaking of how it sucks doing that job….

 

Midnight Showings

How about the balls on my local theater showing the movie on a 24 hour schedule. At fist I thought it only ran to 3 am which is crazy in its own right, but when I went to go double check, this shit is playing for 24 hours straight. I can’t imagine waking up at 7 am on a Friday, drive to the movie’s and be awake and pay attention for 2 hours about a celestial being taking over the universe. Working a movie theater job sucks, but normally you deal with normal working hours. Having to work the 4 am shift in case insomniacs or a strippers just getting off work decides to watch Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is absurd.

Family- **Vin Diesel Voice**

Not gonna lie, kind of weird having the words spoken by a character not Vin Diesel when Vin Diesel’s in the movie. Its so ingrained in my brain that when Drax said it, it just didn’t feel right anymore.

P.s- Vin Diesel’s real name is Mark Sinclair. <—- This fact will eventually get scrubbed from the internet because I cant picture him not being called Vin Diesel/ Dominick Torreto

Microsoft’s Zune

What a relic from the past. I honestly don’t know why this didn’t take off. At the time the competition between Zune and iPod still resided to only a music listening device I think? ipods did have the brick breaker game and that alone might’ve been enough to out the competition because that game is fire. Either way, good to see it make a cameo in GotG 2. Great reminder of how much of a joke that was and how Apple pretty much rules the world now.

Brain Tumor

Seems very fitting all things considered when Peter Quill and the gang put a bomb essentially inside Ego’s Brain.

DC Nerds Petitioned (and failed) To Take Down Rotten Tomatoes Because The Aggregate Website Gave Suicide Squad Bad Reviews

If you look up the ratings on Rotten Tomatoes for the DCEU, prepare yourself. Really, it’s not all that pretty. All of the films rank well under 60% to clinch a ‘rotten rating’ with Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice sitting at 27%. Even the much-anticipated Suicide Squad has earned at 34% rating, and frankly, fans are fed up with the site’s reporting. In fact, they’re so fed up that they’ve started a petition to make Rotten Tomatoes shut down. With just 413, the petition has one goal in mind: get rid of Rotten Tomatoes. Hosted by change.org, the petition’s description sums up its mission succinctly: “We need this site to be shut down because It's Critics always give The DC Extended Universe movies unjust Bad Reviews, Like 1- Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice 2016 [,] 2- Suicide Squad 2016 and that Affects people's opinion even if it's a really great movies.” Should you scroll down to read comments left on the petition, fans have flooded them with their sympathetic views. Many agree the site does offer biased reviews for DC’ films and think it's pathetic that people would try to intentionally make the studio's cinematic universe fail. Other fans reference Marvel Studios and their films’ higher ratings, insisting the difference is due to Hollywood’s double-standards. However, it looks as if some of these fans aren't quite sure of how Rotten Tomatoes work. As the website only aggregates externally published reviews to create its ratings, Rotten Tomatoes doesn’t actually award frivolous reviews on their own. To put it simply, the just do the math based on other outsourced reviews. But, of course, there are fan who’re accusing the site of selectively collecting certain reviews that further their ‘diabolical’ plot to ruin the DCEU. Many movie-goers, however, usually just ignore the site’s critical ratings and only care about the film's audience score. As that specific ranking is created by fans’ reviews, the rating is a more approachable number to digest. And, if you look at the DCEU's audience scores, fans can see their films all have ratings at or above 65%. So, hey - that's awesome!

Comicbook- If you look up the ratings on Rotten Tomatoes for the DCEU, prepare yourself. Really, it’s not all that pretty. All of the films rank well under 60% to clinch a ‘rotten rating’ with Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice sitting at 27%. Even the much-anticipated Suicide Squad has earned at 34% rating, and frankly, fans are fed up with the site’s reporting. In fact, they’re so fed up that they’ve started a petition to make Rotten Tomatoes shut down.
With just 413, the petition has one goal in mind: get rid of Rotten Tomatoes. Hosted by change.org, the petition’s description sums up its mission succinctly: “We need this site to be shut down because It’s Critics always give The DC Extended Universe movies unjust Bad Reviews, Like 1- Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice 2016 [,] 2- Suicide Squad 2016 and that Affects people’s opinion even if it’s a really great movies.”
Should you scroll down to read comments left on the petition, fans have flooded them with their sympathetic views. Many agree the site does offer biased reviews for DC’ films and think it’s pathetic that people would try to intentionally make the studio’s cinematic universe fail. Other fans reference Marvel Studios and their films’ higher ratings, insisting the difference is due to Hollywood’s double-standards.
However, it looks as if some of these fans aren’t quite sure of how Rotten Tomatoes work. As the website only aggregates externally published reviews to create its ratings, Rotten Tomatoes doesn’t actually award frivolous reviews on their own. To put it simply, the just do the math based on other outsourced reviews. But, of course, there are fan who’re accusing the site of selectively collecting certain reviews that further their ‘diabolical’ plot to ruin the DCEU.
Many movie-goers, however, usually just ignore the site’s critical ratings and only care about the film’s audience score. As that specific ranking is created by fans’ reviews, the rating is a more approachable number to digest. And, if you look at the DCEU’s audience scores, fans can see their films all have ratings at or above 65%. So, hey – that’s awesome!

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So sad for DC fan boys. They’re like the hockey fans who are just begging people to like their sport. They were hell bent on making sure people knew Suicide Squad was going to be the best comic book movie after Batman V. Superman got a steamy hot dump on from critics. Now listen, i didn’t hate Batman v. Superman. It was for the most part entertaining for a summer action flick. And I don’t think Suicide Squad is that bad either for a normal every day viewer. I just don’t know what it is though, Marvel just seems to have their world much more relatable and has such a clean modern look. They do action scenes in the bright of day instead of this constant use of crime fighting at night where things are poorly lit and just doesn’t look that great visually. I don’t know, it’s just a harder world to sell and that’s the thing. Marvel took like 6 years and 6 movies to explain the background on all the main characters. DC is doing it in 3 years over like 3 movies. I’m no pro critic but that seems rushed.

Like I said, I’ll watch it and probably have a fun time watching Margot Robbie Bash people’s skulls in like a lunatic and Will Smith dropping killer one liners. It just sucks because I’m embedded in this internet world where I’ll have to sift through the nonsense DC fanboys will litter the web with going back and forth with Marvel People. It’s to the point where I wish there were real superheros out here in the world. Not because i need them to fight terrorism, violence, and evil polluting the world, but because I need them to just fight each other so we can get a definitive answer on who’s better. And what kills me inside is Superman can literally come crash landing from Krypton into the middle of Florida and we can just dose a human in radioactive gamma rays until he becomes The Hulk and make them fight. Once one guy loses their fan boys will just say “No way! This or that isn’t canon!” or “He didn’t have prep time, if they had the adequate prep time he would stomp!” They’re the worst.

Recapping The Biggest News At Comic Con (Only The Stuff I Care About).

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Biggest time of the year for entertainment besides sports pretty much. One of these years i always say I’m gonna go and do the full experience. Dress up like one of those weirdos even though in a convention hall packed to the brim and air conditioning working overtime even though everyone still sweats a few gallons because of their ridiculous outfits. I swear once being a nerd becomes full on mainstream and they start having sex there’s gonna be a staph outbreak from all the people sweating on top of each other in batman costumes listening to RDJ talking about reprising his role as Iron Man for the twentieth time. But I’d still go. Some of those anime girls get down. Anyways onto the main shit.

MARVEL NEWS

Doctor Strange

Interesting to say the least. There were rumblings that the MCU wants Dr. Strange to be the next Iron Man of series. That the addition to him is gonna change the shape of the MCU world. Looks funky enough with the Inception like world they’re dicking around in being all magical and shit. I think what the Iron Man, Captain America, and The Avengers movies did so well was grounding the film in the real modern world. It was California, New York, and DC. Nothing looked too silly or out of place and was relatable. I’m not gonna lie, when I first saw they were doing a Dr. Strange movie and figured what all of that was about I was skeptical because now I have to picture a guy floating around NYC like an asshole doing magic tricks and shit. Well so far it doesn’t seem too crazy at all after this trailer. Feels like they’re kind of fighting on a different plane but still within the real world. I mean they’re mishmoshing NYC teleporting and shit with normal people still walking around doing their 9-5 like they pay no mind. Like i picture them like ghost walking among humans where its the earth but they can’t be seen….I’ve gone too far for someone who doesn’t read or know shit about the comic books but what i do know is I will always have feelings for Rachel McAdams.

Thor: Ragnarokpeftdwo7x5cydddtasko

Not gonna lie, I love the look of the logo but I don’t get it. It looks like an 80’s movie or video game from Atari even though this is suppose to be the Apocalypse that kills all of Thor’s people. Ain’t hating on it too much, just curious. Any who, everyone who’s followed knows Thor’s teaming up with Banner for Ragnarok but I guess this is where Marvel is trying to tie in more Planet Hulk story line with this got damn Hulk Gladiator outfit.ZZ5A6C532B-700x725

Never understood why Marvel’s great equalizer would need a shield, war helmet, and a battle axe but I’m not gonna pass judgement till I see the movie. The Thor movie’s and Hulk movie weren’t exactly a cash cow for the MCU, maybe throwing them together in some gladiator, end of the world Jeff Goldblum Grandmaster type shit will bump them up in the charts.

Black Panther

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I don’t think they brought anything new for Black Panther aside from announcing who each actor is playing. Not much else aside from that. Michael B. Jordan is playing the villain to Chadwick Boseman’s Black Panther as the character Erik Killmonger. From the looks of the comics it looks like he’s suppose to have dreads so it’ll be interesting to see how that look plays out. He also looks way more fucking yoked so i guess Adonis Creed is gonna need to pack on the protein.

Spiderman: Homecoming

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Decent little tease going on with some concept art. Guess this is what Vulture is going to look like portrayed by Michael Keaton. After Civil War people loved the portray of this version of Spiderman from the mannerisms to speech. Looks like this rendition of Vulture would be a good match up considering in the comics he looked like a god damn old ass man in a bird suit.latest

Such a ridiculous look, but I think the new one on screen will look good.

Captain Marvel

By the time Captain Marvel comes out these comic book movies might very well become so tired as well as Brie Larson, but for now, they’re hot. Marvel’s about half way through their planned line up and Brie Larson dominating Hollywood. Such a crazy jump. Played a teenager 4 years ago in 21 Jump Street, then she was in the Gambler which stunk and for some reason i kept on thinking her make up looked awful and she had like acne in the movie, I didn’t watch Trainwreck all the way because it sucked but she was in that. Next thing you know she’s an Oscar winner and joins Hollywood’s biggest cash cow studio. Crazy career she’s had. If comic book movies are still fun and she doesn’t look like shes had an acne outbreak, I’m sure ill enjoy Captain Marvel because I kinda loved her in Room.

DC Extended Universe News

Wonder Woman

Far and away I love what Marvel brought to the table so much more than what the DC universe has brought up until recently. I thought Batman V Superman was decent of a movie but didn’t like the look of a lot of it but still elements that I did like. Now I feel like they’re finally catching up a bit. So far the scenes look great from the trailer but it is still a trailer and a great trailer doesnt always mean the film is gonna be good. We saw a bit of Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman in BvS in modern times but I am curious how her story is gonna play out in that time period. Also, Chris Pine, is he a superstar yet? I always feel like he’s on the cusp but never fully there. Almost like he’s living in the Hemsworth Shadow. Guy needs to date a super star or something.

Justice League

Again, looks pretty interesting. Gonna see batman play the role of Nick Fury recruiting the team. Now out of the crew I think Batman and Wonder Woman work the best. Aquaman, I have my gripe with. In BvS he looked like he was holding his breath underwater. I do not know why that annoys me but it does. Guy is suppose to be able to live underwater. He shouldn’t look like he’s holding his breath. It’s crazy but that’s what I’ve come to expect from movies in 2016. Next one is Cyborg. The CGI looks decent but don’t really know how the guy’s suppose to look. At one point he kinda looks like a bunch of shards of a mirror glued all around to make a suit of some sort. Don’t know if i would care to like the character. Last of all is Flash, the suit looks weird on his body but does look kind of interesting. Over all im curious. We know the villain is suppose to be the Steppenwolf dude. As with most of these comic book movies, it’s only as good as the villain so hope that he brings some thing to the table.

Suicide Squad

Not that we haven’t known about Suicide Squad since it’s being released next week but they gave us another look at it. I don’t know, a lot of nerds are super hyped on this. My buddy might go to the opening night of it even though he’s like a recluse . Me personally i could care less. I think Joker looks like a hot topic customer and Jared Leto tries to hard. It’s just not my cup of tea as far as the Joker. He’s not menacing really, just kind of annoying to me. Take away the weapons and he just seems like Jeffree Star. Heath take away the weapons and i feel like he looks like a lunatic that’s gonna ramble about some Machiavelli quotes or something about order and chaos. And as far as Harley Quinn goes, don’t get me wrong, Margot Robbie is lava hot. But I’m not gonna go see a movie just for a hot chick. And again, I hope one day at those comic cons i hope to find those cosplay girls dressed up as Harley Quinn. She alone though can’t make Suicide Squad worth it tho. But I’m not too worried as there’s still Will Smith with a smasher of a line “It’s time to save the world”(will smith voice).

EVERYTHING ELSE

Kong: Skull Island

Two of Hollywood’s hottest actors. On one hand we have Brie Larson who as i said before is like America’s Sweet Heart after playing a rape victim in Room. And then we have Tom Hiddleston who’s banging T Swift. Guy might also become the next bond because he has an English accent and staring in something that makes it seem like he can take on a giant over grown Gorilla probably helps his image as being 007. King Kong in this though, looks fucking huge. Like insanely big. The other ones kinda made him around the size of a small plane, This one looks like he can grip a 747 in his palm. Definitely Curious.

King Arthur

Guy Ritchie’s King Arthur looks exactly like Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes. Sure the period setting is different but still uses the snori cam view, the wit, the color grading etc. I’ll watch it when it goes to Red Box.

Blair Witch

Ed Lee doesn’t do scary shit. Not because its silly, but because I scare easily and I jump and might cry or shriek in theaters and I feel like it takes away from my tough masculine character. That being said though, The Blair Witch Project was awesome because it was a handi cam and they made it seem like all the people in it were dead. Shit was real. This was before IMDB became a house hold tool and definitely before people were flooding SDCC and them announcing that they’re actually not dead and just actors. I need an element of knowing i might be watching dead people or ghost. <—–(That’s also why Heath slayed as the Joker.)

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

What I said about King Arthur looking like Sherlock Holmes because of Guy Ritchie is the same for David Yates, this movie, and the last four Harry Potter movies. Guess that’s okay though since this is like a Harry Potter off shoot. I don’t know anything about it because I don’t like reading books but what i do know is people like Eddie Redmayne because he played a transgender person and spoke out about LGBT issues and that’s whats hot with millennials. They also love Harry Potter and weird and culturally “different” things so this movies probably going to rake. Guy was also pretty good at pretending to be Stephen Hawking.

Sherlock

I don’t really know if people are on Sherlock yet. It’s a BBC show so it obviously doesn’t have as great a reach but show is pretty good. Benedict Cumberbatch does a pretty good Sherlock and the stories are all pretty well written. I just hate the portrayal of Moriarty. Guy seems like a tool. I don’t buy his brain power. This season looks like a lot more action is taking place. I kind of like a 90 minute run time of light action and more detective shit but this is only a trailer so the action scenes might be spread out like seasons 1-3. I do want some difference though. Each show is like an hour and a half and something always leads back to Moriarty and then no Moriarty. I don’t even know if the guy is a living entity at this point since we thought he died but didn’t. Maybe he’s a ghost? Ghost mystery Sherlock would be kind of interesting.

Well there you have it, all the things I’m interested in seeing in the future that made glimpses at San Diego Comic Con. If anyone has pics of chicks at comic con let a brotha find out.

 

Screen Rant: “Captain America: Civil War”

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Trying to bring another weekly segment for all you who just can’t get enough of Ed Lee’s stupid opinions in life. At one point in my life i actually wanted to go to school for Film but didn’t because I hate all those artsy hipster types and hated everyone in film school who took film and obviously casted themselves in a short film where there’s a scene with them in bed with a girl. Happens all the time. So I have no expertise in film, i just know i like being entertained, but this segment isn’t even necessarily a review on movies. Im not trying to be Roger Ebert here besides the fact that he loved Steak n’ Shake. Im here just to talk about a film weekly, in theaters or not, the way you and you’re friends talk about film. All this is, is a ranting about movies. This will contain spoilers. Enjoy.

Well here we are folks, we have officially entered Summer blockbuster season in the world of cinema and with Captain America Civil War being out, I took the time to go watch.  Overall grade, a solid 8.9. Its a banger of a marvel film/comic book film/action film. It’s got everything i need from some mild humor, believable action, star loaded cast etc. Now im not a comic book person but i have taken an interest in movies from the MCU and DCEU. I don’t quite want to be THAT person but Marvel and the MCU just takes a dump all over DCEU’s stuff. Batman v. Superman I wanted like so much. I told myself that everyone hated it so much that I was just going to force myself to love it, and while i did think some parts weren’t THAT bad, I’d over all just give that a 6.9 (ni.ce) maybe a 7. If those DC nerds jump on your throat tell em to send em my way.

Now obviously if you haven’t gotten the memo, Captain America: Civil War is based on the comic book cross over of Marvel: Civil War. When the 1st trailer came around i decided i wanted to delve into this shit and i read Civil war and im gonna be honest. I could care less about the differences between the two. If anyone follows that @GeeksandCleats chick, along with the other assortment of people who want to slam on the MCU, on twitter you’ll hear her rambling saying “If they’re gonna do civil war, it should be CIVIL WAR!” That type of thinking is just dumb. Their argument is directed to the now famous airport scene in this movie where both sides line up and charge head to head where it should look like a comics splash page like this:wallpaper-civil-war-face-off-the-marvel-comic-wallpapers-wallpaper-310487

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Yea don’t get me wrong, I get that there’s a huge difference, but the simple fact of the matter is they don’t have the rights to most of those characters and since the MCU at this point is one on going series, do these idiots on twitter REALLY think it would be reasonable to out of no where add like 500 different comic book heros? fucking no. The movie industry is a business in the end and one that’s keeping the comic book industry alive probably. You think i give 2 shits to READ about Tony Stark and Steve Rodgers being mad at each other over 20 different comics? No. Throw it in an action packed movie in an air conditioned theater with reclining seats however, and all of a sudden i decided to actually read some of the comics (illegal download so they don’t see any of that money but tevs.) But after reading the comics, that version kinda stinks. Captain America just gives up all of a sudden because he realizes he was gonna murder the shit out of Iron Man when the world likes Iron Man because he was a face they could trust because he was willing to give into the demands of the people. All in all movies holds up and entertains way more than the comics. I give it a solid 8. Now onto things that no one else is talking about in the movie….

Women Were The Cause Of This Mess.

Women, I tell ya. Can’t live with em, can’t live with out em. Now did Captain America and Tony Stark have a budding rivalry since they met in the Avengers? Yes. But lets turn to the each sides respective captains and the booty that blinds them. First we got Captain and his legacy of Carter women he wants to run through.MmtsLrY

Listen not all of us are bona fide studs growing up. Some kids are a bit nerdy, maybe too dumb or what have you. Steve Rodgers was a a tiny little shrimp who wear his own weight in clothing. 5’4″ 95 pounds of nothing but heart is respectable but that alone didn’t get you laid in the 1940’s. They wanted soldiers with guns, muscles, and big dicks. No chance a woman besides his mother ever gave Steve any attention. Next thing you know he’s in Camp Lehigh with a Agent Carter batting eye lashes at you with sexual red lipstick eye fucking your scrawny ass. Those moments in life when you think you first get the change to get your dick wet are memorable ones. And you know who else makes a memorable moment? The one that got away. You know you were one move away from taking down your white whale. Like you’re one corner away from finding the elusive snow leopard. Those moments in life were taken by Peggy Carter. That chick lives on a pedestal in Cap’s mind and if it wasn’t for the fact that her bones were about as fragile as paper thin glass, he would fuck her nearly dead lifeless body as long as she could still breathe with or with out a life support system. She’s that impressionable in his mind and probably even more since that super soldier serum multiplies things. So he already has a compound affect of being booty blinded by just one girl.

Couple decades later after spending time frozen in snow with no pussy to show for it, this hot young blonde moves in next door and finds out shes actually a sleeper agent set up to spy on you so you know shes seen his whole super soldier deal. She wants it. You know it, she knows it, the whole Marvel Cinematic Universe knows it. So when life takes away the one pussy you’ve wanted your entire 98 years of existence and you find out the girl next door who is dtf and related to the same chick from the 40s. You have to fuck her no matter the games she plays. It’s like 3 movie chick cliches, The first love, the one that got away, and the girl next door wrapped into one hot blonde, you gotta do what you can to nail that chick even if it means letting her influence your decision that can risk the lives of every single person on earth and can mean your immediate detainment.

We all know where ever Steve goes Falcon goes with. Literally need to convince one person to sign the treaty and The Avengers can be whole again, fighting crime with the world behind them because the people have a say in what the people want when it comes to letting superheros entering your land and turning it into an active war zone, but no, it couldn’t be that simple all because of Sharon Carter and her stupid eulogy and antiquated quote from her grandma who, at the time, had to fight for woman’s rights in the world in a completely different era that operates different from our modern times. Even in Winter Soldier Peggy admits the world has changed and that they should start over with things. But that’s what happens when you’re booty blinded man. You try to do what ever it you can to get that booty, the only difference is for any regular man it doesn’t mean tearing apart a team that’s been used to save the world from eminent death.

Gwyneth-Paltrow-fully-nude

(I don’t know what this is from or if its just photo-shopped but whatever)

The Carter women aren’t the only one fucking with men and the lively hood of billions who need saving in times of chaos. Fucking Pepper Potts takes some blame here too. So spoiler alert, you find out that her and Tony are on a little break because she can’t handle Tony’s hobby/career. Listen its one thing if you’re boyfriend is a drug addict and just can’t drop the habit of using, another thing if your boo is some war criminal murdering millions. But Pepper Potts is literally asking her man to stop creating technology that can change the human life for the better as well as stop fighting not just petty crimes, but crimes and danger that can risk the end of the world. Everyone knows you need a smart guy in your crew and when the stakes are that high risking millions of lives, he needs to be a genius and Pepper is literally trying to take that away from the Avengers. Thor is a Norse god and a sexual Adonis but all he knows to do is hit things with a hammer, he ain’t gonna lead the crew out of sticky situations. Sure Black Widow and Bruce Banner can figure their way around the computer but one is a devious bitch who you can still shoot in the face and the other is lost at sea and according to the next Thor movie, will be in another planet in a different galaxy so that wont help either. One would think a fortunate girl like Pepper would appreciate Tony for giving her a job title that made her a coffee fetcher into the worlds most successful and powerful woman. A little confidence and support in her man would kinda be appreciated, Pepper, but instead she’s gonna make you work less hours and tear apart The Avengers. Women I tell ya. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.

Movie Technology That Needs To Be Real:  The Self Cooking Hot Dog

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So in Stark’s introduction into the movie, it shows Stark showing off some pretty cool and stylish binary augmented retro-framing sunglasses that apparently hijacks the hippocampus region of the brain to clear traumatic memories in people, we come across a little gem of a technology that the real world needs to invent, and that’s the self cooking hot dog. Now when the dean or principle brings up inventing this type of technology he mentions loading up a hot dog with some sort of chemical detonator but then was rudely cut off from explaining how this genius idea would work. Listen hot dogs are the type of food you don’t want to think about, just eat. Sure in the back of your mind you know its probably made from a pigs asshole and meat sections they would probably feed to zoo animals but you don’t care because it’s delicious. Knowing that, you’re probably okay with eating a little chemical detonator if it means a nice toasty brat ready to eat merely seconds after pulling it from the fridge. No one wants the hassle of turning on a grill or boiling a pot of water just to make a hot dog. Instead, I picture it being like one of those hot emergency hand warmers or like cracking a glow stick to make it glow. I’m sure there’s some science out there that can make it happen and once its found its a million dollar idea. Someone tell Hillshire or Kraft to get this idea to their R&D department asap.

Bonus Round Hot Take: Is Ant-man a member of ISIS or any other terrorist group?

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San Quentin State Prison is a maximum security prison right? Probably a couple or lower level terrorist in there roped up in the same section as Scott Lang. After spending a couple months locked away from the free society I wouldn’t be surprised is Lang converted to radical Islam and got told to carry out orders to destroy those Jesus loving Avengers in the name of Allah even if it means self sacrifice. Doesn’t once think about his family or the legacy he leaves behind before his sarcastic happy going ass decides to turn into Giant Man. Just a reckless move all around. Hydra might’ve been the problems of the 1940’s to 2015 but all that finally got put to end after Sokovia. The next threat on humanity in 2016 is ISIS and I’m not so sure Ant Man isn’t one of them. Screen Shot 2016-05-31 at 7.26.46 PM

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After After Credit Bonus: Peggy Carter/ Hayley Atwell has BOMBS28faa3a9f9066ee978d1033da8c04050 a4e875798556ae25862cd076b5696a05 maxresdefault Screen Shot 2016-05-31 at 7.43.25 PM tumblr_nl2i6fttEK1qaho1po3_250 tumblr_ntao8rZGSw1s6qwwxo1_540

 

 

 

Yesterday Social Media Wanted Captain America To Be Gay And Now He’s Apparently Been Apart Of Hydra All Along

When a hashtag campaign to #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend caught fire on Twitter this week, a common refrain echoed across the Internet aiming for the ears of Disney execs: Give the Marvel superhero a man to love… because he pretty much already has one. When it comes to Captain America’s heart, everyone knows that ticker bleeds red, white, and blue, and that it belongs to one person. No, not Peggy Carter or her beautiful young niece, but Bucky Barnes, Cap’s long-lost bestie. Just about no one was really rooting for Steve Rogers and Sharon Carter to hook up in Captain America: Civil War—especially when he planted that shoehorned-in kiss on her so soon, too soon, after Peggy’s death. The better partner has been firmly entrenched in Cap’s heart since 1945.

DailyBeast- When a hashtag campaign to #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend caught fire on Twitter this week, a common refrain echoed across the Internet aiming for the ears of Disney execs: Give the Marvel superhero a man to love… because he pretty much already has one.
When it comes to Captain America’s heart, everyone knows that ticker bleeds red, white, and blue, and that it belongs to one person. No, not Peggy Carter or her beautiful young niece, but Bucky Barnes, Cap’s long-lost bestie. Just about no one was really rooting for Steve Rogers and Sharon Carter to hook up in Captain America: Civil War—especially when he planted that shoehorned-in kiss on her so soon, too soon, after Peggy’s death. The better partner has been firmly entrenched in Cap’s heart since 1945.

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t’s All-New, All-Different Marvel! It’s the All-New, All-Different adventures of Steve Rogers, back in action today as Captain America! And Steve has an All-New, All-Different gimmick to his history that will change the Marvel Universe forever... if by forever you mean a few months or so, although you wouldn’t know it by the way everyone is freaking out. So what’s the twist, you may ask? It’s not Cap’s shiny new shield, which has a fancy laser cutter on it to make up for the fact that Sam Wilson is still running around with the old Captain America shield. No, it’s a twist that, in all honestly you may have already brazenly read on the front pages of Time, or Entertainment Weekly, or the AP (because screw courtesy, right?), but yes, SHOCKING NEWS: Steven Rogers has secretly been a Hydra Agent all along!

io9– it’s All-New, All-Different Marvel! It’s the All-New, All-Different adventures of Steve Rogers, back in action today as Captain America! And Steve has an All-New, All-Different gimmick to his history that will change the Marvel Universe forever… if by forever you mean a few months or so, although you wouldn’t know it by the way everyone is freaking out.
So what’s the twist, you may ask? It’s not Cap’s shiny new shield, which has a fancy laser cutter on it to make up for the fact that Sam Wilson is still running around with the old Captain America shield. No, it’s a twist that, in all honestly you may have already brazenly read on the front pages of Time, or Entertainment Weekly, or the AP (because screw courtesy, right?), but yes, SHOCKING NEWS: Steven Rogers has secretly been a Hydra Agent all along!

What a whirlwind of a past 24 hours its been for the First Avenger. Here your character lies after breaking apart the team built to save the world from eminent danger, hiding out in a secluded African nation cryofreezing your long lost friend who’s also a weapon for a terrorist super group. After a long day like that you’d think you’d want a nice vacation for a couple weeks just to get away and relax but next thing you know the world is petitioning you to be gay and you find out you secretly been a hydra agent all along. In 24 hours you’ve pretty much joined the opposite side of your life tenants. Cap was born in the 20’s basically every man’s dream at the time was to go to war just so they can come home and get picked up from the docks so they can unload sperm into women, the baby boom. That was just the times back then. And then on top of that you’ve spent you’re entire life fighting the Nazi deep science division and now guess what, you’re one of them. Cut off one head, two more shall takes its place. Makes room for what ever gay pal you want to bring along I guess. Hope they somehow work this into Infinity Wars with Cap and Bucky trying to get Falcon to assassinate Dr Strange or something giving him deep stares of wanting to try black dudes or something. Lets get weird.