Tag Archives: IMDB

Screen Rant: Allied **SPOILERS**

Ahh yes, the homewrecker of a movie that is Allied. What a “time is a flat circle” moment for Brad Pitt huh? Its 2005 all over again. Brad Pitt does a spy movie, has sex with the female lead and breaks it off with wife Jennifer Aniston. 2016, does a spy movie, has sex with the female lead and again divorces wife, this time, Angelina Jolie who was in the 1st spy movie incident. It’s all very funny how that works out. I’m sure the girls children are emotional about it but if they take a step back and realize the irony then I’m pretty sure they’d find it kinda funny. But I’m not here to discuss Brad Pitt’s personal life, I’m here to talk about this movie Allied. With a 7.2 rating on IMDB I’m kinda confused. Movie wasn’t anything bad or great but i expected the world to cum their pants because Brad Pitt is Brad Pitt and people seem to love Marion Cotillard. Me personally I would put it right around there too at like a 7.4. 7.2 is way too close to a 6 and Brad Pitt doesn’t deserve that but I wasn’t completely satisfied. It’s casting is almost like a trap line in Vegas. Got an A list actor in Brad Pitt and a French looking lady to play a french lady in Marion Cotillard wrapped up in a spy drama thriller period movie, But it falls a bit short. Why?

It needs more spy shit going on. Some parts got me on the edge of my seat waiting for people to get exposed and have crazy shit go down but that needs to happen way more in a flick about double agent wives and shit. Need to know their life was on the threat of being found out and become captured by Nazis or something thing. What it really is, is this is two movies jammed into one. Its a movie where Brad Pitt goes undercover to Morocco and attempts to assassinates a Nazi ambassador. Sounds awesome. But then the second half is a romance drama where Brad Pitt has to find out if his wife is a spy. Its fucking Inglorious Bastards in the beginning and then turns into Mr. And Mrs. Smith in the end.  Again, not a bad movie, but cut some of the early relationship nonsense and give me a scene where she breaks away in the middle of the night to be a German spy. **SPOILERS (EVEN THOUGH I PROBABLY ALREADY SPOILED MOST OF IT)** There was never a point where i thought she wasn’t a spy because that’s the movie and you never saw anything from her side. It was all from Pitts perspective and they never really tried to toy around with if she was or was not a spy minus maybe one scene or so.  Could argue it’s not worth how ever much it is to watch it in theaters. But when the DVD comes out maybe get it at your local Redbox or Rent it on demand because its still a decent movie where acting was good and some good action scenes.

Is Marion Cotillard Hot?

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Super hot debate among me and my inner circle of dumb friends. See they are all obsessed with Marion Cotillard as if shes some french true beauty that they put on the pedestal while I on the other hand thing shes as plain as Greek yogurt. Like yea she’s not a homeless vagrant mole creature of a woman. But she’s like an average person that can speak french. I mean she played Edith Paif  which maybe a national treasure for France for singing but wasn’t exactly a super smoke show back in her day. Frankly, She looks like a mix of Mila Kunis, who is indeed super hot, but with a slight case of Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Hate to break it to all you losers who find Marion attractive but when you’re compared to and animated hobbit that’s grown decrepit and deformed because of the magic and corruption of the One Ring, you’re not hot. Above all though I think the thing I hate the most about her is the pronunciation of her name. Cot-iy-yard. Listen I grew up in South Florida, we all took Spanish growing up. The double “L” sound never rattled me until this bitch walked on screen in Inception. And you know what? For some one who was dead and only lived in someone’s subconscious she was kind of a bitch in that movie too. Add all these things together. Her last name’s annoying, she looks like Smeagol, plays a bitch like in Inception of a 2 timing German spy, she sucks and I stand by it. And her teeth suck for a celebrity. No idea what Brad Pitt was thinking having sex with her.

UPDATE- My buddy says her voice is hot? like her accent?screen-shot-2016-12-04-at-3-46-00-pm

That’s like if i asked you “What looks good about this slice of pizza?” and you reply it sounds good, that has nothing to do with what makes it good. (<- not gonna lie, i just had pizza and that i think is whats making me compare the argument with pizza but i stand by it. S/O Donatos)

Rating “I Just Found Out From My Boss That My Wife Might Be An Undercover German Spy” Sex

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This moment was pretty big to the story. Place yourself in Brad Pitt’s movie star actor body for a second and we contemplate whether or not you would want to engage in sex after finding out your wife is potentially a spy for the Third Reich. You come home from work with the big news and know you have to keep your mouth shut for hours. You’re noticing her movements if shes being coy or not. Maybe she’s poking around questions that would give away intelligence to her Nazi opposition. Maybe she cooks up dinner in a way that makes you think “hmmm, those eggs kinda taste kinda like you’re a lying bitch and a Nazi Spy.” You’re waiting minutes away from the test call that would put into play the operation that can possibly kill your wife, the mother of your child. But it is bed time and she plays a sexual French woman and the rumors and stories are that the French are more romantic and sexual and what not.  You get the call. She starts going down on you (That happens in the movie). The plan is in play but you can’t act like a bitch now because you’re a professional. You’re the husband so you’re suppose to bang as one would do carelessly during the war. Honestly I think he’s in a pretty good spot. Mentally having to think about all of this while probably rock hard from the bJ while you’re inside her. Probably enough to keep him going because he’s partially thinking about if he has to kill her or not. He’d probably last like a porn star…..But also probably a little fun knowing you’re sleeping with the enemy right? Like sure I hate Nazi’s as much as the next jew but I’m pretty sure members of the tribe would smash out on a high ranking Nazi official if she was decent looking for her time the opportunity presented itself. I rank it pretty high. like a solid 8.5 sex. Might have to look to see if they do an Allied porn parody.

IMDB COMMENTERS

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Soldier has to assassinate a Nazi, falls in love with his partner who may also be a Nazi and must kill her. Knee slapper of a comedy right there.

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I wanted to actually touch up on this. Guy’s right and I thought the same while watching it. Like kind of a dick move to toy with his brain for 72 hours when they could’ve run the Blue Dye operation with out him knowing to confirm if she is or isn’t a Nazi bitch. Instead of letting him run amuck trying to solve the shit on his own. I was gonna make a comparison to the Departed because they do something similar but there’s way too many actors for me to remember as i write this shit out at 8 am.

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No

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What a prude Ciaranm02 is. We’re not talking about like ass to mouth here, just a quick get it wet bj, with a little make out before he goes missionary. Plus it’s Brad Pitt playing a soldier. Guy isn’t a loose cannon so it’s not like he jizzed in her mouth and then they snow balled it around with each other. Plus don’t chicks just like the kissing and shit? Sure i would do without it but we do it for the ladies as long as they don’t have like a facial going on.

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He played a guy from Canada trying to speak French. If anything his Canadian wasn’t believable because he never said “Sorrey” or “Aboout” or talked about the Canadiens. Other than that though they called out that he didn’t speak Parisian French well. So Simonrhoule’s comment is dumb.

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Not gonna lie, i thought the same. Wondered about his face and botox and if it is, awesome. I love a young looking Brad Pitt that looks like he can slay pussy endlessly.

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Fucking Nazi spies.

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Don’t agree. Arrival was maybe better? But I enjoy the Allied type of movie more.

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Some one fact check this for me. Also I might’ve gotten addicted to dipping. Stay tuned to find out if I’ll get mouth cancer. (Kinda badass though right? saw all these Korean assholes in New York all smoking cigs thinking they’re too cool for school. Well every time I see that I just want to put a fat lip in like I’m Lenny Dykstra and spit right in their eyeballs in front of there FOB girlfriends.)

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This might be the worse endorsement of criticism of the movie. If it follows a principle and wisdom from an overrated 90’s sitcom star that plays a failed day time tv actor then it’s kind of a bad movie no?

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Double true.

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Well this is obviously fake but what a variety and range of people he want’s to make this project. Like it goes from a comedy, to drama action biopic to a summer block buster to a straight to Netflix release. I’m gonna email this guy and poke around his brain.

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This guy’s profile picture if the poster for Boyhood but with a KKK mask.

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Mila Kunis+ smeagol= Marion

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Im kinda with you, Sarizonana. Sure i think Marion was casted well and played what a french person in the 40’s perfectly but fuck that. I want a hotter actress for the hell of it so it’s just pure eye candy between her and Pitt. Love all the chicks this person named CZJ, hot (minus the fact that her pussy nearly killed Michael Douglas). Eva Green, hot probably the more realistic option between the few. Kate Beckinsale, my first love. and Monica Bellucci, also hot. See this person wonders about what’s off about Cotillard and its the fact that it looks like she’d follow you up a mountain to steak your ring.

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Screen Rant: Suicide Squad (**Spoilers**)

 

3072003-suicide-squad-group-posterThis movie stunk. Like not good. It’s not that I hate DC movies, honestly, I could care less. I watch Man of Steel all the time cause Christopher Meloni’s in it and I actually thought Batman vs. Superman was decent and overall fun to watch. I couldn’t watch this with out thinking about how much I hated the characters so I might not even know if the plot is really great but as I write this blog im gonna let that mull over a little too. The trailers certainly sold the movie as the movie brought in a little under a gazillion dollars even though all the critics and for the most part I think the popular consensus was that the movie stunk. When it released opening night it was at a solid 9.2 rating on IMDB. Here we are a week removed and its a very lack luster 6.9 (ni.ce). There are plenty of options out in theaters that are probably better. The new Bourne movie if espionage action movies are your thing, if not War Dogs looks pretty funny and a cool story. If you’ve exhausted your options i guess give Suicide Squad a watch. If you just want to be entertained for over 2 hours go at it. It’s not the worst thing in the world, but it certainly isn’t or shouldn’t be the gold standard of the DC Extended Universe.

Honestly this should be like a netflix series. I hate to compare the two, but there really is no other option. Marvel has their Netflix properties to take care of the low to mid tier villains because it’s unrealistic to have Dare Devil try to fight Loki. You save these scenarios that threaten the Earth for The Avengers. Well why the fuck would you send these criminals to try to save the entire planet when you could just as well assemble the Justice League. Actual “meta-humans” that have the resources and abilities to ward off shit that can obliterate the planet. If they had episodes that show more of each character it would be great but instead we’re given a quick rundown of characters that really have no business fighting crime of this proportion. I don’t want to give too much away in case people do actually want to see it because the marketing works so all I’ll say for now is that i would give it a 6.3/10. Do what you will with that.

As I said earlier a big gripe i had was with the characters. Hated almost all of them for different reasons. So I took some time to sit down and think why I hated their character, but better yet, If we had to really assemble a Suicide Squad, who would we pick? The most hated people to send out to do our bidding risking their lives so if and when all hell breaks loose, we can just blame them.

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All things considered, Amanda Waller was a pretty good character. Ruthless bitch. Knows she has a job to do. Now it is her plan to assemble this cast of characters which everyone knows would be a headache to manage, but she’s a woman that doesn’t mind getting her hands dirty. Now I know she herself isn’t a squad member, she’s just the GM, but the GM is just as important. Who would I send in her place? Wendy Williams. Do people hate her? I don’t really know but I assume so. Why? Because of the video of Method Man is chilling getting a hair cut getting all mad at Wendy Williams because she outted Method Man’s wife as a cancer patient. Leave their personal business alone, Wendy you trifling bitch. Oh and as for Oprah? She was apparently actually a choice for the studios to play Amanda Waller and I get probably no one on earth hates her but o wait. Remember the time she said she’d give all KFC customers free chicken? Yea that shit never worked for me so I hate her now. You owe me some free Oprah chicken, you lying bitch.

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How can I care about a character that is so god damn useless to the story. What in gods name would be the point of bringing aboard a backstabbing diamond thief on your mission to kill an evil entity? The guy uses a fucking boomerang. A boomerang. Dead fucking technology. Might as well just hire a cast of actors in a Roman war reenactment and just have them throw javelin spears because it would be just as effective except you don’t have to deal with a drunk aussie criminal. Now who would I pick to send in? The Donald. Listen, this list isn’t solely based on resemblance. Sometimes you just gotta send in people you hate. Donald is border line a hate monger at these rallies calling Obama the creator of ISIS. They both just talk to much, shits annoying. Send them in the front lines and let captain boomerang just die. Slick talking and want millions while not giving a fuck is in the way. Send in Trump but rewrite the story to say Captain Boomerang dies because he’s a fucking mortal human with no abilities what so ever.

Slipknot

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When I saw Adam Beach was in this movie I gasped. Kickin wing. Kickin wing Animal doctor who’s suppose to be kicking ass. Guy was involved in one of the most puzzling cases of Law and Order SVU after being arrested for the killing of a fellow police officer. Unfortunately, by the end of the movie, if I polled the entire audience in every single theater across America I guarantee you more than half of them forgot that he was even in this movie. Guy came and went like two ships in the night. Now for the sake of my own enjoyment, I want Alex Jones to be this guy. Fucking annoying with his screaming and conspiracy theories. Kill him off in the first 5 minutes.

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Now’s where we get more interesting with characters that should matter. Killer Croc is a great villain. The guy is like part crocodile, you know how badass that is? Some cannibalistic mutant just fucking people up. But now think for a second, what is the most menacing part of a croc. Its teeth. This Killer Croc, used none of that. Instead he was just punching people. How lame is that? Let me see him rip some guys face off. If you’re gonna do a PG-13 movie don’t give me characters that should be a hard R for disturbing violence. You know who else has that type of brute power and is hated among many? Alexander Enmanuel Rodriguez. Give Killer Croc a baseball bat and meatball and I guarantee you he’s rounding home in an instant. With his character flaw of looking ugly as fuck, He’s always talking about how beautiful he is and attractive to cope with it. You know who else thinks of them self as beautiful? The guy in the original photo above who is kissing himself in the fucking mirror. Who else is half man and half beast other than Arod who is a man centaur  Oh yea and the whole “Killer Croc is a cannibal” thing, remember when Arod brought a cooler with his own food to a fancy restaurant for them to heat up? Hmmmmm……

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Yo June Moon the archeologist fucking suuuucckkked at her job. Went exploring and fell down a fucking hole. Now if you were making some great exploration tell me, do you preserve everything as is and document all your findings or do you pick up some jinxed idol, break it, and release a 7000 year old witch lady that will posses your body? Sucks you never saw the full grasp of her powers too. you saw her like teleport but she’s got to be able to do more with all her powers and shit right? Now this pick is one that’s purely in the news that made my brain go to her but you just have to send in Hope Solo. No one likes her right? Choked in the Rio Olympics like June Moon Choked at not falling down a hole. Bending and contorting all weird and shit and you know what? Since Hope’s nudes were released, I can confidently say she probably shares a similar looking vagina to the 7 millennia years old Enchantress.

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Has a character that’s suppose to be so bad ass been as non nonchalantly introduced into a movie like Katana? I mean I know Flag gives the exposition of she has a sword that steals souls or whatever, but she literally just shows up on a plane and he says “This is Katana” and moves on. You see none of the described sword’s real powers because it was shot in the dark and so fast and what ever they did show int he trailer got cut in final production. And even though many people still think its bad ass the whole samurai master of the sword look is, the fact still remains that swords are dead technology. .45 caliber bullets are stronger and more devastating and faster. For the sake of the story though, you learn that Katana is a revengeful girl with that sword hacking away at her husband’s killer. You know who else is spite-filled bitch with a blade? Laurena Bobbitt. Talk about one of the more revered and heinous crimes in American history. She’s top of the list as the new groups Katana. Who else would be a great fit? Amy Fisher and Tonya Harding. Tonya Harding certainly has the hate brewing in her heart but she wasn’t the one carrying out the act of smashing a girls femur in half so I can only give her half credit. Amy Fisher on the other hand was ready to double tap Mary Jo in the back of the head. Not to mention, In my head Katana’s husband can be some auto body shop owner in japan doing oil changes on GTRs like he’s the Tokyo Joey Buttafuoco.

Rick Flag

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Rick Flag was just bland as fuck but you hate him because he was just an uptight asshole. So unprofessional of him to fall in love with a demon witch lady. Nothing likeable about him one bit. With held info from the team and shit using his authority to make the crew of mass murderers feel like they’re below him with their lives dangling in the palm of his hand. Such a dick move. You know who else was hated by everyone who can shoot though? Christian Laettner. Rick Flag was the only main character who wasn’t a villain. Christian Laettner was the only one who was a college athlete in the 92 Dream Team. Rick Flag is Christian Laettner of the Suicide Squad. Privileged good looking white guy who bullies the rest of them and still a bad ass special forces guy.

El Diablo

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I fucking hated this guy. All the powers in the world that he can control for his entire life yet when all hell breaks loose he just chills back not doing a fucking thing. All because he killed his wife and kids? And another thing i can’t stand about these Mexican LA gang banger types is they always give some deep talk saying “I loved my wife, she was my everything but i killed her.” Hey guy, that’s some dumb ass logic. And what the fuck was her deal? Why on earth would you marry someone that can create flames out of no where and still think he’s a good guy? His name is El Diablo you dumbie. Its madness. Fuck this guy for not doing shit till the very end and also for killing his wife. But you know who else people hate and also killed a lover of theirs? Oscar Pistorius. You want a bad guy with a cool nickname like El Diablo? Well his is Blade Runner. Or you can pick almost all top level LA gang member and it would probably be the same. Hate this guy.

Harley Quinn

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I don’t have much of an issue with Harley Quinn, they just didn’t explain her story like at all. This is where a Harley Quinn in a Netflix series would be great to build up the character and how she got involved with the joker. Instead they just kinda glossed over the foundation of their relationship and then made the Joker continually tried to get her back in 3 minute increments spread through the movie for a combined 15 minutes of air time from the Joker. Absurd, but I digress. You know who’s a LUNATIC that has the body to portray Harley Quinn? Tila fuckin Tequila. That bitch is a psycho. One minute she’s internet famous for reasons I don’t know, the next shes on MTV with her own show and now you scroll through her Twitter timeline and shes a bonafide Nazi KKK lunatic.  Sure Harley wasn’t going around specifically beating up non whites in the movie, but if we’re talking about a psycho with out any inhibitions regarding smashing someones head in with a baseball bat, it’s Tila Tequila.

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Deadshot. Again, another person that’s suppose to be the most ruthless scum of the earth when really he’s a glorified contract killer that cares nothing more than the well fare of his daughter. The thing that bugs me is if you’re that good, you can somehow parlay your way into some military contract worth millions doing shit like Blackwater security stuff. Decorated sniper with a whole movie motion picture deal with tons of money in royalties type of guy. Anyways, when you see Deadshot get his hands on the artillery for the first time it’s like a homeless man getting thrown into a thanksgiving dinner. Just an all out assault. You know who else would love that kind of weaponry? Kevin Garnett. I guess some of the DC universe people are suppose to hate Deadshot, and regardless, tons of people hate KG too and you know he’s a ready to go to war type of guy. I mean you can just picture them both sitting in the house, loading up the pump. Loading up the Uzi. Got a couple M-16s, couple nines. Got a couple joints with some silencers on em. They’re both just loadin up clips. Got a couple grenades, couple missile launchers, with, you know, a couple missiles. They’re just ready for war…..Oh and they both like to talk slick and shit telling people their wives taste like Honey Nut Cheerios and shit.

Well there you have it! a crew of some of the most hated people you can blame anything on but in the off chance you need them to save Midway city, they might have a chance even though none of them are really anything special besides Diable even though Oscar Pistorious doesn’t have real legs. Moving on!

IMDB Commenters Screen Shot 2016-08-15 at 1.27.44 PMIm gonna play on the DC side for a second and give them the benefit of the doubt. Superman in theory can die if in the time line, the government learns of the power of Kryptonite, fashions a jacketed kryptonite bullet, fired out of a high powered assault rifle, then Deadshot can in theory kill Superman. Captain boomerang with a kyrptonite Boomerang? Harley Quinn with a kryptonite baseball bat that she swings at Supermans face while he’s distracted from staring at her tits. Diablo and his gang of cholo’s decide to change their gang colors from what ever their Hillside gang is to just the right shade of green might even be menacing enough to scare the pants off of that sissy boy Superman.

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If this is the case then DC has a strong hand over Marvel. It’s 2016 where gays are hot in the streets so that would be a big win for the studios.

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Hey Menthol_Rock_n_Roll, describing a guy as creepy hot is pretty much an oxymoron. Like there are no social pariah hot sluts out there. If a guy is creepy he’s creepy, if he’s hot, he’s hot. If the two some how come together then you have a sociopath, which to the joker and Jared Leto’s credit, might be a good thing, but you should also check your self in to therapy.

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Im just gonna use this post as a shout out out Lita, Trish Stratus, and any of those cruiser weight high flying Wrestlers for perfecting the Huracanrana/Head scissor takedown move as it has become a staple move for girls like Black Widow and Harley Quinn. If I had to give credit to one it would be to Lita, because she use to do that shit alot and also because i like how she pulled her thong all the way up above her pants.

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See! Freeze-well gets it! He probably read this blog even though i haven’t even pressed Publish yet.

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Straight up Hokey stuff, no doubt.

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See the thing about black guys is they’re all street smart and usually keep their cool. The Joker is a white mans game because white people do delusional type crimes. Plus if a black guy does white face, that’s offensive. No way a studio that didn’t have the balls to make a supposed “dark” movie rated R is going to make a black guy go white face.

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Why on earth would they have a sequel using a team of average joes when they’re gearing up to make the Justice League?

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Buffalo_carrot might be onto something here. Batman doesn’t square off. In fact he usually takes people out while their not looking. Kinda like when you shoot someone in the back because you don’t have the balls to kill him face to face.

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Pretty decent compromise if it can ease tension between a former axis power.

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There were two great post about the IMDB rating being at 6.9. The beauty of it was the thread that proceeded had no mention of a 69 joke what so ever. You know? like the sexual position where you both eat each other out? See the tail end on the “6” and “9” represent our genitalia where the other portion of the number represents our head, thus making it symbolize us giving each other oral sex. Flew right past all the DC comic book nerd’s head with that one.

 

Screen Rant: Hardcore Henry

Back at it again with another screen rant. Trying to bring these things weekly but i do have another job and actively try to leave my mom’s basement ( jk its Florida, we have no basements). Well last week me and some buddies of mine hit up the Red Box and decided to peep Hardcore Henry.

Over all just a fun summer action flick. Now I’m not big on gimmicks so originally I was gonna bump this down a few pegs because this whole thing was marketed as a gimmick. An entire movie in POV from beginning to end. After watching it, overall, it was a fine action movie. I don’t know if they some how directed it in a certain way but from my viewing experience, the movie started off as a massive head ache five minutes in with this guy fighting and parkour around  some European town, but it paralleled the story line. As the main character was still confused as to whats going on with his robotic ass body, I was confused and experiencing motion sickness but half way through when he gathered his brain together and figured out his plan the POV view situation got better and I stopped having the spins. If that’s what the director was somehow going for I guess good job. I give it a solid 6.5. Story’s a bit of a mess and relied on a gimmick, but worth seeing once.  Also a pretty dope sound track. Now onto some rambling.

POV Sports

Now obviously when you hear POV your brain shoots to one thing only and that’s porn. But other than that, POV is used to bring the 1st person point of view to every day people. I’ve never stepped behind a O-line but if someone made POV concussion safe helmets i can say I’ve kinda been there at least virtually. So me and my buddies went around and discussed witch sport would be fun to watch in POV.

Baseball

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This one was like a 60/40 split on if we thought it would be fun to have Baseball in POV mode. Now If i could be in the place of Stanton and swat balls into Little Havana, that would be pretty fun but at some point you’d run into the same problem as golf where the ball becomes a little speck and then it’s just a view of you running around bases. POV on pitching might not be the best either because those quick turns to try to get the person on 1st out would probably make you jolt your neck and I guarantee after a series of that you’ll probably have a pinched nerve. Probably also some how get Tommy John from pretending to throw nothing but air. So what’s the compromise? Slow-mo POV of the ball being thrown to a person who just mashes. Like a fighter jet doing barrel rolls to David Ortiz followed by a view of the entire crowd or maybe even on an open roof stadium get a view of space at night. Majestic.

Wrestling

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We’re talking about real wresting. You know, WWF/WWE. Olympic wrestling looks boring as shit, and admittedly, I haven’t watched WWE in years so I don’t know the quality of matches they have or if they still have Hardcore matches, but throw it back to the 90’s to 2000 era of wrestling, those would’ve been gold to have some POV views. Imagine pretending to be choke slammed off of the cell. Just staring up at The Undertaker after dropping 20 feet and watch the light go out of your eyes. Exhilarating stuff. TLC matches getting thrown from a ladder into a table? A view of what it’s like to be stuffed into some guys crotch, flipped up ward so you can see the electrified fans in the packed arena rooting for you to die and lifted just so you can be Power Bombed through a Spanish announcers table. It would’ve been awesome. Definitely endorsing POV Attitude era WWF

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Nah.

Sidenote- I want a camera on the face of the goalie every time they get scored on or at the penalty kicks at the end when they realized they jumped dived 15 feet in one direction even though the ball was going the opposite way.

Hockey

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This one was a pretty big debate. Now while on the surface it seems cool to have GoPro’s stuck on hockey players, I actually don’t think I would enjoy watching an NHL game in First Person shooter mode. GoPro signed a deal with NHL to put out videos of players doing tricks and what not and while it was cool, it’s also not an actually game. Sure some people wouldn’t mind taking a Dramamine pill and watch Patrick Kane stick handle over a billion pucks but I would get sick of it, not to mention that doesn’t happen in game. Sure it would be cool to see a person stealing a puck away and scoring on a break away but it’s heads up most of the game and scanning the ice. I just don’t think it would translate well into a full 60 minutes of a hockey game. Not to mention if it were only one one player on the team then 40 of those minutes would be sitting. For me it doesn’t get the cosign

Basketball

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Do you think POV Steph Curry would be good if you can’t tell where his feet are when he’s making a 3? No. You gotta see the distance with all the camera lights going off and people in the stands. I got all I need from the TV and the backboard cam.

Bullfighting

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Not only do I need POV, I need him mic’d up too. Not even a mic for his commentary, I need like their an internal brain mic’d so i hear his thoughts. Must be a rush to watch a 2 ton beast charging at you with their horns aiming for your life. Just repeating “oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck” until you’re pretty much dead. Need to make it happen. And I don’t want to hear all the Peta people being all “Its wrong to watch these innocent creature get murdered for your entertainment” either. Don’t worry guys, when I’m watching POV bull fighting I’m rooting for the bull to win every time.

Boxing

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This is an interesting one but its not really punching in POV mode that we want, its slow mo. We love seeing a face that is structurally supported by a skull become rearranged with a strong right hook. Need to see the details of how their lips flail around and head spinning. We get pretty decent views in slow mo already, POV adds nothing. Swipe left.

Formula 1/ Nascar/ High Speed Racing

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Definitely cosigning this. I mean yea it kind of sucks not being able to see where everyone else is placing currently, but that’s almost not the point of it. I want/need to see a crash. A crash that I hope people walk away from perfectly fine, but a crash regardless. Don’t tell me that’s crass because I’m pretty sure that’s what everyone is there to see at NASCAR events. A fucking car stripped down flying at 100+mph on a slope just waiting to rub wheels with another team and then waiting for all hell to break loose when they cause a 10 car pile up. If that’s not the point of NASCAR then I don’t even want it around anymore. And as far as formula 1 goes, same thing, POV but instead of a designated purpose built track, I just want traffic cones and then an urban city. I don’t remember what the whole plot to the movie Driven is and honestly, I don’t think anyone really does besides it being a movie about a formula 1 driver and his struggles which is all racing movie I think. What people do remember is the main character and Stallone in Formula 1 cars racing through downtown LA or something. That’s what I want, traffic moving, objects in the way, Truck trailers just tall enough so it doesn’t decapitate the drivers. Tell me that wouldn’t be exhilarating POV action. Can only imagine the drama of James Hunt/ Niki Lauda flying around at warp speeds around downtown Miami. In POV none the less.

Sport Fucking

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Dont worry, I’m not sexist, there could be a women’s league too

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Not really a pro sport per se, but more of an adult competition, but a competition none the less. Just your casual afternoon when no ones home, feel like watching something competitive, just put on some POV porn Sport Fucking. Jump behind the eyes of what its like to have awesome sex. See if they sport sex well or not I guess. Who won the sex. Call me crazy but I think this one could be big.

Football

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Everyone wants to be a QB. Just at least once. Make the stellar pass, scramble and still get the 1st down, just flat out being the face of an NFL team. Want the rush of seeing line backers charging at you while you struggle to find someone open. Get Aaron Rodgers some google glasses and let me see what its like to throw a last minute hail mary and let me see what its like to rip the hearts out of all lions fans. POV foot ball would be the pinnacle. Maybe mix in a couple POV receiver shots. Watch some one cut across field and break a tackle to score a touch down. Shit I also want the Refs POV too. I have a nagging suspicion that they miss a call here or there.

IMDB COMMENT SECTION

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Hey PNTPictures, you know why you and I didn’t puke? It’s because we’re not pussies. It would be socially unacceptable to call the guy a pussy straight to his face, but you can’t be puking just from watching a movie. And I’m gonna give a ruling in saying that you’re on the edge of being a pussy, I stared at the movie the whole time. No breaks needed. Does that make me a tough guy hardo? yes, but I’m not spilling my lunch over a 90 minute action movie.

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Well rat_eater, you strike me as the type to play call of duty for 6 hours straight and then think Viet Cong is firing bullets from the tree tops when you step outside for once. Maybe lay off the screens for awhile and go outside.

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Koninji really nailed it with this one. Wow

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Not in the slightest, Sir_Farty_Farts_A_Lot.