PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) — An attorney for a man who pleaded guilty to a conspiracy charge in the takeover of an Oregon wildlife refuge says his client tested positive for morphine because he ate an ‘everything’ bagel with poppy seeds. The Oregonian/Oregon Lives reported Monday (http://bit.ly/2eIZoQd ) that a federal judge in Portland, Oregon has ordered Jason Blomgren to avoid poppy seeds in addition to drugs. Blomgren took a plea deal for his role in the armed occupation of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge last year and is expected to be sentenced to probation next month. He had been subpoenaed by the government to testify in a trial against Ammon Bundy and other leaders of the refuge occupation, but was not called as a witness. Blomgren now says he will eat egg whites for breakfast.
The classic Poppy seed bagel/muffin defense. This is one of those things that is a known fact that might not be true at all. It’s like when you growing up you heard that red cars raises your car insurance. Nothing to show that it’s a true solid fact in life. Your insurance broker can even tell you that that’s a myth but you still probably factor it into the cost of potentially picking out a new car. Well poppy seeds are the same. As a kid you’d get your morning everything bagel and then tell your friends “yo, the bagel i’m eating has poppy seeds in it. You know if I get drug tested It’ll come up positive because of the Poppy Seeds?!?! It’s like I’m doing drugs.” Everyone has heard that once in their life and if not you know of the Seinfeld reference. And Just like this judge who had to hear this testimony in court, he believed it. Maybe not fully believed it but like “c’mon guy, We know you did a ton of morphine and deserve to go to jail or whatever” but then that small chance that the elusive poppy seed rumor is true, you don’t want to the one to make the mistake of not believing a fact that everyone on the planet universally knows. Let this be a note to all Morphine addicts and the defense attorneys that represent them. Oregon vs Jason Blomgren has set a legal precedent that makes a client’s drug toxicity report inadmissible in court based on the defense’s breakfast choice. Basically converting myth into legal grounds at this point. Very important moment in US history.
P.s- Saying you’lll switch from Poppy seed bagels to Egg White’s is a great move. If he said he was just having eggs the Judge would probably dismiss that as an act to gain his trust, you mention it’s egg whites only it makes him seem like a health conscious citizen. The devil’s in the details.
Portland Press Herald- Portland police cut short a phone scam on Wednesday, coming to the rescue of a woman who thought she was paying the IRS with thousands of dollars worth of iTunes gift cards, police said Thursday. The police got an anonymous tip about the woman buying the cards, and found her in a Portland parking lot, talking on her phone and with a pile of gift cards on the passenger seat of her car. She told the officers she was on the phone with the IRS, and they were demanding she pay them in iTunes gift cards, according to Portland police Lt. James Sweatt. She told the officers she had spent hours getting the money from banks and then purchasing the gift cards. “They would not let her off the phone, repeatedly threatening her,” police said. The suspects hung up when the officers asked to speak with them on the phone. Sweatt said the 24-year-old woman lost $8,700 to the scammers before the police intervened. “It could have been far worse,” Sweatt said. “Thankfully there was someone in the community” who tipped off police. He said the woman, whom police refused to identify because she is a victim, told officers the call frightened her and when she sent an iTunes code, the scammers would demand more. Phone scams have become fairly common, Sweatt said, and there is little recourse for victims to get their funds back. In this case, the number the scammers called from was deactivated and likely was computer-generated. “These victims have zero chance of ever recouping their money in these scams,” he said. “We’ve seen people – young, middle-aged, seniors – be victimized this way, either tricked with clever gimmicks or threatened or coerced into believing they are talking to legitimate sources.”
I’ve tried to live my life according to the rules I’ve learned from watching detective shows and one of their rules or codes of conduct is to never blame the victim. I’m trying hard to do that really but I just can’t. I mean I’m trying to imagine the conversation that played out and its just a dumbest thing ever.
“Hey this is Mr. IRS calling, we want to inform you that you have an outstanding tax bill in the tune of $8700 for no reason. Now you for this special tax thing though, you can’t pay at the tax collector, and you can’t pay in card over the phone, or a cashiers check. I’m going to need you to go down to Walmart and buy a million $10 dollar iTunes gift cards and gonna have to give me the code on the back one by one”
I mean that’s just sheer lunacy. This isn’t like a well crafted prank we’re talking about here where no ones the wiser. We’re talking about a lady with potential intelligence issues. You just can’t be an adult and think you can pay for government issued taxes with gift cards that are normally just office gifts. Not to mention $8700s worth. I just don’t understand how this happens. You can’t be responsible enough to have $8700 in liquid cash ready to spend at walmart and still some how fall victim to a tax/gift card scam. It’s just baffling.