Never in my life was I so amped for something only to be let down. Something any guy envisions is getting into a fight like an absolute bad ass and knocking out fools left and right like a Kung-fu flick. Doing all sorts of crazy shit but definitely doing some variation of a wresting move you saw from the 90’s attitude era. The DDT is absolutely one of them. Just being dropped on your skull onto a chair or the Spanish announcers table. Something that will really leave a dent to prove that you gave your opponent at least a grade 2 concussion but instead we got this sad attempt at a DDT.
What the hell happened? Imagine tossing a basketball up in the air expecting it to bounce when it hits the floor but instead it just laid still. Like on a humanity level I’m glad Red Shirt is fine but learn a little pageantry for me one time dude. Flail around, shoot the legs up as if your spine just went into extreme impact. Instead he rubbed his head as if he bumped it against a kitchen counter. That’s not good enough. The other guy isn’t without blame either. Anyone who knows what the DDT is and sees that flat side front end of a car I guarantee you was expecting to drive his head straight through the engine block. Ultimately despite growing out of the wrestling phase that’s why I still respect the fuck out of WWE stars. You gotta be able to sell baby. Take the bumps take the hits. Electrify the crowd. When the guy put him in a head lock getting ready to shatter this guys skull I expected him to point to the crowd and chant to electrify the audience but nope. Just the worst performed DDT.
Im glad this guy enjoyed it though. My guy here was pumped to see a DDT in a real fight. He gets it.
Back at it again with another screen rant. Trying to bring these things weekly but i do have another job and actively try to leave my mom’s basement ( jk its Florida, we have no basements). Well last week me and some buddies of mine hit up the Red Box and decided to peep Hardcore Henry.
Over all just a fun summer action flick. Now I’m not big on gimmicks so originally I was gonna bump this down a few pegs because this whole thing was marketed as a gimmick. An entire movie in POV from beginning to end. After watching it, overall, it was a fine action movie. I don’t know if they some how directed it in a certain way but from my viewing experience, the movie started off as a massive head ache five minutes in with this guy fighting and parkour around some European town, but it paralleled the story line. As the main character was still confused as to whats going on with his robotic ass body, I was confused and experiencing motion sickness but half way through when he gathered his brain together and figured out his plan the POV view situation got better and I stopped having the spins. If that’s what the director was somehow going for I guess good job. I give it a solid 6.5. Story’s a bit of a mess and relied on a gimmick, but worth seeing once. Also a pretty dope sound track. Now onto some rambling.
POV Sports
Now obviously when you hear POV your brain shoots to one thing only and that’s porn. But other than that, POV is used to bring the 1st person point of view to every day people. I’ve never stepped behind a O-line but if someone made POV concussion safe helmets i can say I’ve kinda been there at least virtually. So me and my buddies went around and discussed witch sport would be fun to watch in POV.
Baseball
This one was like a 60/40 split on if we thought it would be fun to have Baseball in POV mode. Now If i could be in the place of Stanton and swat balls into Little Havana, that would be pretty fun but at some point you’d run into the same problem as golf where the ball becomes a little speck and then it’s just a view of you running around bases. POV on pitching might not be the best either because those quick turns to try to get the person on 1st out would probably make you jolt your neck and I guarantee after a series of that you’ll probably have a pinched nerve. Probably also some how get Tommy John from pretending to throw nothing but air. So what’s the compromise? Slow-mo POV of the ball being thrown to a person who just mashes. Like a fighter jet doing barrel rolls to David Ortiz followed by a view of the entire crowd or maybe even on an open roof stadium get a view of space at night. Majestic.
Wrestling
We’re talking about real wresting. You know, WWF/WWE. Olympic wrestling looks boring as shit, and admittedly, I haven’t watched WWE in years so I don’t know the quality of matches they have or if they still have Hardcore matches, but throw it back to the 90’s to 2000 era of wrestling, those would’ve been gold to have some POV views. Imagine pretending to be choke slammed off of the cell. Just staring up at The Undertaker after dropping 20 feet and watch the light go out of your eyes. Exhilarating stuff. TLC matches getting thrown from a ladder into a table? A view of what it’s like to be stuffed into some guys crotch, flipped up ward so you can see the electrified fans in the packed arena rooting for you to die and lifted just so you can be Power Bombed through a Spanish announcers table. It would’ve been awesome. Definitely endorsing POV Attitude era WWF
Soccer
Nah.
Sidenote- I want a camera on the face of the goalie every time they get scored on or at the penalty kicks at the end when they realized they jumped dived 15 feet in one direction even though the ball was going the opposite way.
Hockey
This one was a pretty big debate. Now while on the surface it seems cool to have GoPro’s stuck on hockey players, I actually don’t think I would enjoy watching an NHL game in First Person shooter mode. GoPro signed a deal with NHL to put out videos of players doing tricks and what not and while it was cool, it’s also not an actually game. Sure some people wouldn’t mind taking a Dramamine pill and watch Patrick Kane stick handle over a billion pucks but I would get sick of it, not to mention that doesn’t happen in game. Sure it would be cool to see a person stealing a puck away and scoring on a break away but it’s heads up most of the game and scanning the ice. I just don’t think it would translate well into a full 60 minutes of a hockey game. Not to mention if it were only one one player on the team then 40 of those minutes would be sitting. For me it doesn’t get the cosign
Basketball
Do you think POV Steph Curry would be good if you can’t tell where his feet are when he’s making a 3? No. You gotta see the distance with all the camera lights going off and people in the stands. I got all I need from the TV and the backboard cam.
Bullfighting
Not only do I need POV, I need him mic’d up too. Not even a mic for his commentary, I need like their an internal brain mic’d so i hear his thoughts. Must be a rush to watch a 2 ton beast charging at you with their horns aiming for your life. Just repeating “oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck” until you’re pretty much dead. Need to make it happen. And I don’t want to hear all the Peta people being all “Its wrong to watch these innocent creature get murdered for your entertainment” either. Don’t worry guys, when I’m watching POV bull fighting I’m rooting for the bull to win every time.
Boxing
This is an interesting one but its not really punching in POV mode that we want, its slow mo. We love seeing a face that is structurally supported by a skull become rearranged with a strong right hook. Need to see the details of how their lips flail around and head spinning. We get pretty decent views in slow mo already, POV adds nothing. Swipe left.
Formula 1/ Nascar/ High Speed Racing
Definitely cosigning this. I mean yea it kind of sucks not being able to see where everyone else is placing currently, but that’s almost not the point of it. I want/need to see a crash. A crash that I hope people walk away from perfectly fine, but a crash regardless. Don’t tell me that’s crass because I’m pretty sure that’s what everyone is there to see at NASCAR events. A fucking car stripped down flying at 100+mph on a slope just waiting to rub wheels with another team and then waiting for all hell to break loose when they cause a 10 car pile up. If that’s not the point of NASCAR then I don’t even want it around anymore. And as far as formula 1 goes, same thing, POV but instead of a designated purpose built track, I just want traffic cones and then an urban city. I don’t remember what the whole plot to the movie Driven is and honestly, I don’t think anyone really does besides it being a movie about a formula 1 driver and his struggles which is all racing movie I think. What people do remember is the main character and Stallone in Formula 1 cars racing through downtown LA or something. That’s what I want, traffic moving, objects in the way, Truck trailers just tall enough so it doesn’t decapitate the drivers. Tell me that wouldn’t be exhilarating POV action. Can only imagine the drama of James Hunt/ Niki Lauda flying around at warp speeds around downtown Miami. In POV none the less.
Sport Fucking
Dont worry, I’m not sexist, there could be a women’s league too
Not really a pro sport per se, but more of an adult competition, but a competition none the less. Just your casual afternoon when no ones home, feel like watching something competitive, just put on some POV porn Sport Fucking. Jump behind the eyes of what its like to have awesome sex. See if they sport sex well or not I guess. Who won the sex. Call me crazy but I think this one could be big.
Football
Everyone wants to be a QB. Just at least once. Make the stellar pass, scramble and still get the 1st down, just flat out being the face of an NFL team. Want the rush of seeing line backers charging at you while you struggle to find someone open. Get Aaron Rodgers some google glasses and let me see what its like to throw a last minute hail mary and let me see what its like to rip the hearts out of all lions fans. POV foot ball would be the pinnacle. Maybe mix in a couple POV receiver shots. Watch some one cut across field and break a tackle to score a touch down. Shit I also want the Refs POV too. I have a nagging suspicion that they miss a call here or there.
IMDB COMMENT SECTION
Hey PNTPictures, you know why you and I didn’t puke? It’s because we’re not pussies. It would be socially unacceptable to call the guy a pussy straight to his face, but you can’t be puking just from watching a movie. And I’m gonna give a ruling in saying that you’re on the edge of being a pussy, I stared at the movie the whole time. No breaks needed. Does that make me a tough guy hardo? yes, but I’m not spilling my lunch over a 90 minute action movie.
Well rat_eater, you strike me as the type to play call of duty for 6 hours straight and then think Viet Cong is firing bullets from the tree tops when you step outside for once. Maybe lay off the screens for awhile and go outside.
Now its been awhile since I’ve watched wrestling and even longer since I’ve played any of the video games, but do you remember when you could make your own character you obviously had to give him the spear as one of his moves. The Rock did it, Goldberg, all the greats had a good spear in their repertoire. The only problem was the actual look of the spear. You could do the very basic one where the character slowly dives into the guys abdomen but that wasn’t good enough. You needed the ones like the The Rock where you flew at mach speed into the person and they folded up like a binder and brought their spine into the canvas. Well thats what we had here in this rugby match. A spear worthy of sending an opponent through those cheap ply wood table or the spanish announcers table. There was no breaking the 3 count on that one because he was probably dead. His rib cage/internal organs/mental psyche just left his body and went straight into the ground. Ruthless but such a beautiful hit.
P.s- the problem with this is when ever I make a post relating to wrestling i spend hours watching old WWF footage. I was gonna blog this at 11 am and its 2:30 pm right now and I might’ve hit the end of youtube searching for WWF videos.
P.P.S- I give the guy probs for holding onto the ball all the way through the hit. Good chance I would’ve thrown the ball and ran for my life screaming if i saw that guy accelerating towards me
Diabolical move! If i had to guess which WWF finishing move was the most dominant in the ring in the attitude era of wrestling it would have to be Rikishi’s stink face. Not only is it bad enough you have a 400+ pound like Hawaiian man drop his entire ass on you, but to smell his diabolical left over farts that lingering around his asshole could instantly knock out an opponent. I’ve seen people get up from a choke slam or bounce back from a rock bottom. Never have I seen anyone come out quite the same after a Rikishi Stink face (I have but for the point of this blog, shhhhhhh). As for this guy though, his face didn’t come anywhere near this white guys asshole so I don’t really believe he got crop dusted that bad, unless his farts are sooooo disastrous that the smell in blast zone was enough to have this dude regurgitating his lunch. All around quite a deadly finisher. It’s not a dirty trick or cheating, that’s just gamesmanship.
The Ugly Orange 