Tag Archives: soccer

Screen Rant: Hardcore Henry

Back at it again with another screen rant. Trying to bring these things weekly but i do have another job and actively try to leave my mom’s basement ( jk its Florida, we have no basements). Well last week me and some buddies of mine hit up the Red Box and decided to peep Hardcore Henry.

Over all just a fun summer action flick. Now I’m not big on gimmicks so originally I was gonna bump this down a few pegs because this whole thing was marketed as a gimmick. An entire movie in POV from beginning to end. After watching it, overall, it was a fine action movie. I don’t know if they some how directed it in a certain way but from my viewing experience, the movie started off as a massive head ache five minutes in with this guy fighting and parkour around  some European town, but it paralleled the story line. As the main character was still confused as to whats going on with his robotic ass body, I was confused and experiencing motion sickness but half way through when he gathered his brain together and figured out his plan the POV view situation got better and I stopped having the spins. If that’s what the director was somehow going for I guess good job. I give it a solid 6.5. Story’s a bit of a mess and relied on a gimmick, but worth seeing once.  Also a pretty dope sound track. Now onto some rambling.

POV Sports

Now obviously when you hear POV your brain shoots to one thing only and that’s porn. But other than that, POV is used to bring the 1st person point of view to every day people. I’ve never stepped behind a O-line but if someone made POV concussion safe helmets i can say I’ve kinda been there at least virtually. So me and my buddies went around and discussed witch sport would be fun to watch in POV.

Baseball

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This one was like a 60/40 split on if we thought it would be fun to have Baseball in POV mode. Now If i could be in the place of Stanton and swat balls into Little Havana, that would be pretty fun but at some point you’d run into the same problem as golf where the ball becomes a little speck and then it’s just a view of you running around bases. POV on pitching might not be the best either because those quick turns to try to get the person on 1st out would probably make you jolt your neck and I guarantee after a series of that you’ll probably have a pinched nerve. Probably also some how get Tommy John from pretending to throw nothing but air. So what’s the compromise? Slow-mo POV of the ball being thrown to a person who just mashes. Like a fighter jet doing barrel rolls to David Ortiz followed by a view of the entire crowd or maybe even on an open roof stadium get a view of space at night. Majestic.

Wrestling

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We’re talking about real wresting. You know, WWF/WWE. Olympic wrestling looks boring as shit, and admittedly, I haven’t watched WWE in years so I don’t know the quality of matches they have or if they still have Hardcore matches, but throw it back to the 90’s to 2000 era of wrestling, those would’ve been gold to have some POV views. Imagine pretending to be choke slammed off of the cell. Just staring up at The Undertaker after dropping 20 feet and watch the light go out of your eyes. Exhilarating stuff. TLC matches getting thrown from a ladder into a table? A view of what it’s like to be stuffed into some guys crotch, flipped up ward so you can see the electrified fans in the packed arena rooting for you to die and lifted just so you can be Power Bombed through a Spanish announcers table. It would’ve been awesome. Definitely endorsing POV Attitude era WWF

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Nah.

Sidenote- I want a camera on the face of the goalie every time they get scored on or at the penalty kicks at the end when they realized they jumped dived 15 feet in one direction even though the ball was going the opposite way.

Hockey

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This one was a pretty big debate. Now while on the surface it seems cool to have GoPro’s stuck on hockey players, I actually don’t think I would enjoy watching an NHL game in First Person shooter mode. GoPro signed a deal with NHL to put out videos of players doing tricks and what not and while it was cool, it’s also not an actually game. Sure some people wouldn’t mind taking a Dramamine pill and watch Patrick Kane stick handle over a billion pucks but I would get sick of it, not to mention that doesn’t happen in game. Sure it would be cool to see a person stealing a puck away and scoring on a break away but it’s heads up most of the game and scanning the ice. I just don’t think it would translate well into a full 60 minutes of a hockey game. Not to mention if it were only one one player on the team then 40 of those minutes would be sitting. For me it doesn’t get the cosign

Basketball

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Do you think POV Steph Curry would be good if you can’t tell where his feet are when he’s making a 3? No. You gotta see the distance with all the camera lights going off and people in the stands. I got all I need from the TV and the backboard cam.

Bullfighting

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Not only do I need POV, I need him mic’d up too. Not even a mic for his commentary, I need like their an internal brain mic’d so i hear his thoughts. Must be a rush to watch a 2 ton beast charging at you with their horns aiming for your life. Just repeating “oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck” until you’re pretty much dead. Need to make it happen. And I don’t want to hear all the Peta people being all “Its wrong to watch these innocent creature get murdered for your entertainment” either. Don’t worry guys, when I’m watching POV bull fighting I’m rooting for the bull to win every time.

Boxing

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This is an interesting one but its not really punching in POV mode that we want, its slow mo. We love seeing a face that is structurally supported by a skull become rearranged with a strong right hook. Need to see the details of how their lips flail around and head spinning. We get pretty decent views in slow mo already, POV adds nothing. Swipe left.

Formula 1/ Nascar/ High Speed Racing

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Definitely cosigning this. I mean yea it kind of sucks not being able to see where everyone else is placing currently, but that’s almost not the point of it. I want/need to see a crash. A crash that I hope people walk away from perfectly fine, but a crash regardless. Don’t tell me that’s crass because I’m pretty sure that’s what everyone is there to see at NASCAR events. A fucking car stripped down flying at 100+mph on a slope just waiting to rub wheels with another team and then waiting for all hell to break loose when they cause a 10 car pile up. If that’s not the point of NASCAR then I don’t even want it around anymore. And as far as formula 1 goes, same thing, POV but instead of a designated purpose built track, I just want traffic cones and then an urban city. I don’t remember what the whole plot to the movie Driven is and honestly, I don’t think anyone really does besides it being a movie about a formula 1 driver and his struggles which is all racing movie I think. What people do remember is the main character and Stallone in Formula 1 cars racing through downtown LA or something. That’s what I want, traffic moving, objects in the way, Truck trailers just tall enough so it doesn’t decapitate the drivers. Tell me that wouldn’t be exhilarating POV action. Can only imagine the drama of James Hunt/ Niki Lauda flying around at warp speeds around downtown Miami. In POV none the less.

Sport Fucking

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Dont worry, I’m not sexist, there could be a women’s league too

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Not really a pro sport per se, but more of an adult competition, but a competition none the less. Just your casual afternoon when no ones home, feel like watching something competitive, just put on some POV porn Sport Fucking. Jump behind the eyes of what its like to have awesome sex. See if they sport sex well or not I guess. Who won the sex. Call me crazy but I think this one could be big.

Football

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Everyone wants to be a QB. Just at least once. Make the stellar pass, scramble and still get the 1st down, just flat out being the face of an NFL team. Want the rush of seeing line backers charging at you while you struggle to find someone open. Get Aaron Rodgers some google glasses and let me see what its like to throw a last minute hail mary and let me see what its like to rip the hearts out of all lions fans. POV foot ball would be the pinnacle. Maybe mix in a couple POV receiver shots. Watch some one cut across field and break a tackle to score a touch down. Shit I also want the Refs POV too. I have a nagging suspicion that they miss a call here or there.

IMDB COMMENT SECTION

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Hey PNTPictures, you know why you and I didn’t puke? It’s because we’re not pussies. It would be socially unacceptable to call the guy a pussy straight to his face, but you can’t be puking just from watching a movie. And I’m gonna give a ruling in saying that you’re on the edge of being a pussy, I stared at the movie the whole time. No breaks needed. Does that make me a tough guy hardo? yes, but I’m not spilling my lunch over a 90 minute action movie.

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Well rat_eater, you strike me as the type to play call of duty for 6 hours straight and then think Viet Cong is firing bullets from the tree tops when you step outside for once. Maybe lay off the screens for awhile and go outside.

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Koninji really nailed it with this one. Wow

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Not in the slightest, Sir_Farty_Farts_A_Lot.

 

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Mother Nature: Face Fucks Soccer Team, Putting The Fear Of God In This Poor SUV

Mother nature’s such a cock sucker sometimes. One second you’re getting your second wind and try to force the ball into the offensive zone and the next second the wind grabs your team by the balls and bounces one right out of the mitts of the net minder leading to a goal. Tough break for which ever team that was but you gotta hold your head up high and thank god you made it home with out the vengeance of Thor striking down on your SUV with every bit of lightning in the sky.

 

R.I.P To Brazil National Football Team Superfan Clovis Acosta Fernandes

Metro- One of the images of the 2014 World Cup was of megafan Fernandes clinging on to his replica trophy while Brazil collapsed to a 7-1 semi-final defeat to Germany.
The photograph immediately exploded on social media and Fernandes became something of a celebrity.
It later emerged that he had attended various World Cups since 1990 after leaving his job as a pizza restaurant owner.
With his wife’s permission, the Selecao’s most famous fan went on to dedicate his life to following Brazil.
According to Brazilian outlet Globo, he died after a nine year battle with cancer.

Anyone who watched the World Cup last year should remember this guy. Having the World Cup in Brazil, a place where o Jogo Bonito lives and breathes with every person there, making it to the semi finals and then getting curb stomped by Germany who went on to win the World Cup might as well have been like German soldiers bombing Brazil. Must’ve been devastating for everyone But none more than for Clovis here. That cameras were on him just tears in his eyes gripping that fake world cup trophy as if he was watching loved ones die. Guy just couldn’t let that trophy go but alas, Germany ripped it not out of his arms, but from his heart. R.I.P.

But then again this guy was still alive for all 5 of the Brazil’s world cups so be happy you got at least that, Clovis.

Brazilian Chick Gets A Boot To the Face In A Game Of Futsal

Someone tell that bitch to quite being so salty! From what I gather Futsal is just 5 on 5 soccer, and if thats true than these Brazilian chicks might be tougher than 90% of the Premier League, UEFA League, CONCAF, MLS any of those soccer leagues that I don’t understand. I mean by women’s standards, I would assume this would be the equivalent of like Steve Weatherford’s muscular ass putting the boot to your throat. I mean that chick probably doesn’t eat like birds pecking at salads. Brazilian chicks get their fair share of protein and her thighs show it. Built like a horse leg and the chick in orange just took it like it was a light jab to the chin. Got up and toughed it out. If this were Fifa id half expect the team to just throw an emergency funeral for the guy.

Arsenal Fan gets Trolled By Man U Fan When He Buys an Arsenal Season DVD. Ends Up Being Just a Picture Of RVP

One cunning Manchester United fan has played a ruthless prank on an unsuspecting Arsenal supporter hoping to buy a DVD. Loyal Gooner Sam bought an Arsenal season review DVD on eBay to watch back their 2009-2010 season, preparing himself to sit down and reminisce about the days when Robin van Persie, Cesc Fabregas, Thomas Vermaelen and Samir Nasri all wore the Arsenal shirt with pride. But when he went to play the DVD he received a very, very shocking sickening discovery.

Metro- One cunning Manchester United fan has played a ruthless prank on an unsuspecting Arsenal supporter hoping to buy a DVD.
Loyal Gooner Sam bought an Arsenal season review DVD on eBay to watch back their 2009-2010 season, preparing himself to sit down and reminisce about the days when Robin van Persie, Cesc Fabregas, Thomas Vermaelen and Samir Nasri all wore the Arsenal shirt with pride.
But when he went to play the DVD he received a very, very shocking sickening discovery.

But the tale doesn’t end there kids. After bearing the brunt of thousands of tweets laughing at poor Sam for just wanting to watch some Andrey Arshavin in his prime, the evil culprit surfaced:

But the tale doesn’t end there kids.
After bearing the brunt of thousands of tweets laughing at poor Sam for just wanting to watch some Andrey Arshavin in his prime, the evil culprit surfaced:

Brutal.

Brutal.

Im not a soccer guy by any means. I mean we get the soccer culture a lot because South Florida is like a mini united nations for Spanish speaking countries and all those people watch. But i occasionally watch from time to time. That being said, i dont know the rivalries really. All i know is i had a Man U friend for a long time and then this little chick from Bermuda asked what soccer team i would follow and i said Man U and she told me “Fuck outta here with that” because she was an Arsenal fan. Well guess what, Arsenal fans? Man U, Robin Van Persie, and @obviously_jack just troll slapped you with their dick from that ebay purchase. O Jogo Bonito, Bitches.

Sidenote- Robin Van Persie is one of the only names i know and love. Dude’s a good lookin dude and puts balls in the net.  Aside Team USA its Team Netherlands for me.