Tag Archives: Tom Brady

Screen Rant: John Wick – Chapter 2 ****SPOILERS*****

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Welcome back, folks to another episode of Screen Rants with Ed Lee. Almost the big award show in the Oscars and I still have yet to watch a majority of the movies but thats okay because this past week I went to go see 50 Shades Darker cause I wanted to see what its like to be in a room full of chicks cumming their pants but to make sure i maintained my masculinity I went and saw John Wick: Chapter 2. John Wick, man. What a weird cult following it’s gotten. Shane Falco will always be my boy but I could’ve sworn his career died in the Matrix after freeing the world or whatever. Honestly before the Wick series the last thing I saw of his was Constantine which was good for what it was (i saw Street Kings but you can’t claim you saw it if you’re still actively trying to forget it). 11 year gap pretty much where I only acknowledged his roles as John Constantine, Shane Falco, Neo, Jack Traven or the G.O.A.T. Johnny Utah.

Every other character he’s played doesn’t matter. Then outta no where after an 11 year gap all i heard from people across all spectrum was John Wick. John Wick this, John Wick that. As far as I knew, it looked like a cheesy action thriller, and it kinda is, but still somehow good. It’s like our modern day version of Boondock Saints. If I were to tell you some Irish micks just decided one day they had to go on a killing spree because god told them to after they got drunk, I would tell you its probably a bit of a cheesy action movie, but yet we love it. In the end though the only thing different is Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day was laughable garbage, where John Wick: Chapter 2 was awesome. Doesn’t bother having an overly complicated story line or plot twist. It just kind of lives in its hit-man universe where the rules are pretty straight forward and invites as much shooting and fighting as humanly possibly. Over all I give it a 7.7 tied with the first John Wick. The first one was a bit more compelling with a whole revenge story, but this second one had some elements of that, and maybe I haven’t seen the first one in a bit, but the action in this was awesome. Might be a bit better than the first one and also deserve props for taking a cult classic and transcending the equal into a mainstream action movie (R.I.P The Fast and the Furious’ legacy [except I totally watch the shit out of every ridiculous movie in that franchise]).

KEANU REEVES: Football Guy?

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I just want to take a minute to talk about Keanu Reeves as the person we know him as. As one doesn’t really like to see the sausage get made, I almost don’t want to know the real Keanu Reeves. Don’t want to know what makes the guy tick. Every time I see him in interviews he’s kinda wacky and flamboyant and talks really loud with his hands if that makes sense. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a nice, charitable, humble guy who’s successful and has a number of roles that have defined the action movie zeitgeist (idk if i used that word correctly, if I did it kinda makes me a really good writer. low risk, high reward). I don’t know why I thought this based on two movies but I always thought growing up that Keanu Reeves was a huge Football Guy. Played an Ohio State QB twice. TWICE. In two separate movie universes. An All-American at Ohio State who made it to the Sugar Bowl and then WON the Rose Bowl and would’ve gone pro if he didn’t get his knee nuked in the 4th quarter. Such a shame. But if that wasn’t enough, there was a little nod in Speed where he figured out the bus had live recording because he realized Dennis Hopper can see that Annie’s wearing an Arizona Wildcat jacket. Really hurt my heart when I found out he’s some Canadian boy who has no idea about the game at all (sorry If i just told all of you out there that Santa isn’t real). A little bit of hope though, is that Keanu has laced up the skates before and played goalie.

Keanu Reeves, goalie coach, circa 1981. Author: The Hockey News

Keanu Reeves, goalie coach, circa 1981. Author: The Hockey News

If anything you know who Keanu Reeves kinda reminds me of? Like an older sci-fi action star version of Taylor Kitsch. This is solely based on the fact that they have roles where they definitely can pull off long hair and have played hockey but they both kind of have a similar builds. Not overly bulky, Canadian, hockey, movies and what not. Relatively quite celebrities and both have played football on screen. But enough about all that. This isn’t about Keanu Reeves or football. This is about John Wick. Which brings me to my next talking point…..

JOHN WICK IS TOM BRADY

x3psv2iComing to theaters soon after TB12’s fifth Super Bowl win in a historic overtime comeback, this has to be the first comparison that comes to mind. Its everything from the durability to take hit after hit and still perform at an elite level to the fact that he terrifies every major player in the game the way that Tom Brady is the Boogeyman to every single player/personnel in the AFC. Just for a second entertain the notion that the one week after Tom Brady had a horrible game agaisnt Kansas was like his retirement considering every ESPN analyst marked Tom as done. Well the next week was officially him/John Wick coming out of retirement and put on 2 killing sprees that shocks the entire world. Both men of focus, commitment, and sheer will. We saw Tom Brady kill 31 teams with a football. Both men that can dress sharply and look impeccable in a suit and can hit a target within a dime. Simply put, John Wick is Tom Brady. Some where in a quiet modern house tucked away in a remote suburban neighborhood is John Wick quietly eating kale and avocado ice cream with pink Himalayan sea salts and avoiding nightshades so he can be an elite assassin and take hit after hit well into his 50’s and is ready to lace and load em up ready for the next kill. Baba Yaga. The Boogeyman. JW12.

UPDATE:

IMDB no longer has a comment section which effectively cuts down half the blog. What the fuck IMDB? You’re kinda killing my job here. Well lets keep the bad news rolling. Keanu Reeves didn’t fuck a lot of chicks even though they were cumming their pants. Sad!screen-shot-2017-02-20-at-7-46-45-am

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Panthers Fall To Tampa 4-3 In An Overtime Shootout. Trocheck Discovered NHL Equivalent Of The Tuck Rule

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Wild game. Never felt the should be rivalry really but tonight felt like they were playing some playoff level hockey at some points and it’s only game 3. First night for Reimer in net and despite the score being 4-3 lightning, the shot attempts were pretty much down to even on both sides and we’re not exactly playing a lottery team here. It’s potential Stanley Cup favorites we’re talking about and the Panthers could’ve had it end their way if the game was cut short 5 seconds. Had another chance to win it on an empty net earlier but like the previous 60 minutes, Panthers were a little bit too conservative with the puck and decided not to shoot. Tough luck but it’s over and we go back home to get ready for another juggernaut of an opponent in The Capitals.

Things to take away though, Colton Sceviour scored a short handed goal with a feed from D-Mac for his 2nd goal of the season. Trocheck tied us up in the third and Mike Matheson got his 1st NHL goal and really has been making his arrival in the NHL well known and is still learning to be better. Have high hopes on Matheson but so far we like what he brings to the table after the purge of some fan favorites in the D core.

Of course after that Matheson goal, Stamkos fucked us in the ass by literally burying one with FIVE seconds left. Five seconds away from being on top of The Atlantic and taking the 1st of the I-75 rivalry. What ever. More interestingly though, is young Vinnie Trocheck discovering what is essentially the NHL Overtime equivalent of the Tuck Rule during a little controversial call in a shootout goal.

Banana’s. No one in Florida thought that was a good goal besides Trocheck and who ever was in Toronto making that call. Did Trocheck fumble the puck in a shot attempt? Was Brady tucking the ball back in? Did Charles Woodson sack Trocheck? Sometimes it’s best to let things go their course with out getting in the way. More likely than not Trocheck was trying to swipe the puck in but lost control of it and should’ve ended the game right there. Especially wouldn’t matter since Tampa ended up winning after Ekblad failed in shoot out but who knows man. If Florida goes on to win that game it could’ve sparked some real hatred between the two clubs. Who knows Maybe Trocheck ends up leading this team to 4 rings over a 20 year dynasty reign.

H/T Stephanie @Myregularface and Pete @PeteBlackburn

Theres Something Memorizing and Peaceful About This Great Dane Playing On Top Of A Covered Pool Like A Water Bed

Well A.) Its Peaceful because dogs being happy makes the world become happy. If you watch a pure-hearted creature play around and you have a fraction of hate in your heart then I hate to tell you this, but you’re probably the next Hitler. And B.) this is pretty much on a water bed. Everyone kinda wanted one as a kid right? I think my uncle had one for awhile and i know i had a buddy who had one. Shit was fun to just lay in. Like floating on water and not letting worries bother you. The ripple of the waters flowing outwards from the dog’s slow fluid jumping around all playful and shit just seems nice.

P.s- Remember when Tom Brady thought it was ridiculous when they didn’t have white pool covers? This guy probably gets it too. Gotta have a white one that looks good with the lime stone edging and shit in order to look nice.

BLOG TEMPORARILY POSTPONED BLOG BECAUSE OF DEFLATEGATE NEWS

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Listen, this is HUGE. Brady just beat the mother fucking league. Yea they play in the AFC east but I dont hate the pats. Growing up when i was 10 and learning things that mattered in the world, my dad didn’t know football but my uncle did and my uncle placed money on tha patriots cause they were winners. That and At heritage we were patriots so i just picked up the patriots. Like the dolphins too, but when theres a higher level of football out there, and with me not haivng much NFL allegiance to anything at the time, i adopted the Pats. Fast forward to today, Brady just beat the League at their own game.  Dont worry though, people. The blogs keep coming, just need to take a bit of down time to catch up on news/masturbate to the greatest Quarterback in our generation