WSVN- TOWSON, Md. (AP) — A Maryland woman has discovered that eating a poppy seed bagel before giving birth carries serious consequences. Elizabeth Eden told WBAL-TV in Baltimore she was in labor in April when a doctor told her she had tested positive for opiates. The test result meant Eden’s daughter had to stay in the hospital for five days while her mother was assigned a case worker. Eden said she had learned in a school health class that eating poppy seeds could cause a false positive. “I said, ‘Well, can you test me again? And I ate a poppy seed bagel this morning for breakfast,’ and [the doctor] said, ‘No, you’ve been reported to the state,’” Eden recalled to the news outlet. After acknowledging the bagel defense, the case worker closed Eden’s file. The Federal Institute for Risk Assessment writes that until food manufacturers reduce morphine levels in poppy seeds, it advises against excessive consumption, particularly during pregnancy.
How is it that in 2018, with all medical advancements in the world, so much technology implemented in the medical field, people are still falling victim to the Poppy Seed. Why the fuck are bagel shops still serving it on their menus? Why the fuck are people ordering them still? I don’t think I’ve ever had the inclination to order just a poppy seed bagel. They come on everything bagels but that’s because they play a small roll in every other flavor I’m tasting in my breakfast food. I can’t even describe what a poppy seed taste like off the top of my head so i don’t even understand why this lady would order one. Have people not seen the Seinfeld episode? They get stuck in your teeth and the flavor is probably so minuscule that the cream cheese or butter on the bagel just eviscerated the taste of it all together so you might as well just get a plain bagel and save your self the hassle of picking in between your teeth to get the small opium pods out.
Also ruthless on this doctors part to just report her to the state for being a reckless opium addicted mother to a newborn baby. Such an extreme result from a poor breakfast choice. Imagine the chain of events. You have a poppy seed bagel, hoping some how that’s enough nourishment for you, and the baby you’re carrying. Probably an hour or two later you go into labor. An 8+ hour struggle begins as you experience the pains of labor with nothing to eat but ice chips. Finally in the 11th hour the birth is a success and you’re happy because you see the miracle of life for the first time and you’re so over whelmed with joy that your baby is alive and healthy. Exhausted from what people consider, the greatest joy in life, you take a small nap. Next thing you know you’re handcuffed to the hospital bed with 2 police officers on either side standing patrol to make sure you don’t escape. Doctors evaluating your drug habit and them leveling the decision to take your baby away because they don’t think you’re fit to be a mother. All from a poppy seed bagel. Wild.
P.s.- Remember 50 Cent’s song Baltimore Love Thing? Well that was about how Baltimore has the highest heroin user rate so there is a small chance Elizabeth Eden was on something
Two of the hottest teams in the preseason go head to head went to the 4-7 bowl and only 1 team prevailed and thats the Fins baby! Ugly win but people aren’t going to remember how the team won, they just remember the record in the end of the season and as of right now thats 5-7. At this point im pretty sure Stephen Ross is laying all his eggs on the fact that we have the big 50th season game against the Giants where we go throw back uni’s and as long as we win that game, to Ross, it was a season win to his ass. Well if thats the case, maybe carry some momentum from this weeks win with a longer week to plan for playing Monday night against the Gmen and hopefully win. But thats next week.
This week was honestly a brutal one to watch. The Dolphins scoring plays all came withing 20 seconds and from there on it was sitting on our butts for a whole entire half of football waiting for the Ravens to play catch up. Score less first quarter and only 9 1’st downs for the fins and then Rashad Jones picking off Matt Schaub, which was bound to happen, then a 38 yard TD pass from Tannehill to Parker. Things were looking great, making plays on offense, then making plays on defense with a Derrick Shelby turning a blocked pass into an interception running it in 22 yards for a TD with Matt Schaub looking gassed running after him past 5 yards. A nice 2 point conversion running the ball in by Ajayi and from there it was a waiting game till the clock ticked down to 0. Was waiting for worse to happen especially with Lamar Miller fumbling the ball in Miami territory but lady luck was on our side when Justin Tucker went wide right on a missed FG opportunity.
On paper, through the eye balls, on screen the dolphins played awful but not awful enough to lose the game. Hopefully some of that had to do with Zac Taylor taking the place of Bill Lazar after he got canned earlier this week but the narrative now is that The Dolphins win when were we can someone so I don’t actually think there’s any truth to that obviously, but good on Taylor making the decision to run the ball more. Seriously week 12 we were 9 carries for 12 yards. This week, 26 carries for 94 yards. Big step up considering how bad this season has been but for now, 5-7 and everyone waiting to break these bad boys out for Monday.