Author Archives: edlee

Looks Like Our Florida Panthers Hockey Team Is Slowly Turning Broward Into Hockeytown, FL!

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It’s worth noting both games were held in Sunrise, with huge nights at the box office (standing room/full sellout on the 2nd; 15,426 on the 3rd against a Western Conference non-factor). A seven-game stretch of consecutive victories heading into the Saturday/Sunday block may have something to do with it, but we’re pleased whatever the reasoning.

Via SBnation

Ohhhh shit. Look like its time to move forward. Onto 2016. No more of South Floria being built on Football and basketball. The Dolphins STUNK this year. Absolute garbage. Marlins, trash. Both teams owned by people not suited to own teams and ended up firing coaches. Heat are still playing good basketball but people need to get over the Lebron era since Wayde is aging. Instead here we have the toast of the town winning 9 straight, top of the division, 2nd in the conference and 5th in the league, Florida Panthers! Do you see those stats and numbers?? We’re going to the playoffs and aint no one gonna stop us! Its gonna be a fleet of drop top ferraris cruising across town on 595 and 95 with the cup for the parade!

All jokes aside, this teams good. Right now one of the hottest teams in the NHL. Despite this though, we’ll just always have the crowd of people joking about attendance numbers. Listen, If Tuscaloosa, Alabama started an NHL franchise and won 2 straight Cups in its 1st years, im pretty sure the attendance would be similar. The South is just a football town first and foremost. It sucks but its true. People gotta realize BB&T isn’t exactly in a metropolitan area where people have high incomes and dead set on going out and spending money. We deal with it. When they’re winning they have a good crowd but even at that, i wouldn’t expect them to sell out the crowd every night with Panthers fans. Not to mention we also have the crowd of people chirping about more Montreal fans when we play them. Listen, we can’t help it that Snow birds want to leave their shitty frozen province for South Florida instead. If they want to catch a game they’re more than welcome but if we stomp a team’s dick like Montreal and the Rangers, then I don’t even want to hear it how theres more so and so fans than Panther fans at the game. Teams like the Caps can laugh all they want and have all the attendance they want but in the end its still all about winning to the players and fans and as it stands they’re in the same place as us. So all people blasting us about attendence still can suck a dick. We’re winning over 25 other teams in this league and that matters more.

This Girl REALLY Loves Doing Party Tricks With Her Pussy **NSFW**

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LINK TO VIDEO HERE

Unbelievable. No way this is like their friends right? None of my chick friends pull down their pants and starts doing party tricks with their snatch. None that I know of at least. This almost has to be a professional like a party entertainer or like a hired clown. I mean she wasn’t joking around like “Hey guys! Hey guys! Check this out! **blows smoke through her pussy**” and from there just started fiddling around with it. Nope. Her pussy had a whole routine set up like a comic about to perform on stage. “I’m gonna start with the shotgun blast of air through my pussy to put out a fire, then I think the balloon trick worked out really well last time so I’ll follow up with that since the audience loves a prop they can keep, then im gonna anchor with the good old fashion pussy smoking a cigarette trick.” Fucking prop comics man. So much easier to entertain the crowd sometimes.

If Hilary Wants To Let The Common Folk In On Whats Really Going Down At Area-51 Then She Might Just Have My Vote

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Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has said that if she is elected, she will 'get to the bottom' of questions over what the government knows about UFOs and aliens. She made the promise when speaking with Daymond Steer of The Conway Daily Sun in New Hampshire. She had previously interviewed with the same reporter in 2007. When asked if she would support UFO disclosure group efforts, she enthusiastically said 'yes'. In 2007, Clinton said the most common freedom-of-information requests her husband Bill Clinton received at his library were about UFOs. Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3383221/Hillary-Clinton-vows-reveal-truth-UFOs-Area-51-president-Bill-admits-aliens-visited-Earth.html#ixzz3wHrqC7QP Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook Yes, I'm going to get to the bottom of it,' Hillary Clinton told The Sun reporter last week. In 2014, Bill Clinton told late-night TV host Jimmy Kimmel that he wouldn't be surprised if aliens visited Earth, and last week 'No, I am trying to tell you I don't know, but if we were visited some day I wouldn't be surprised, I just hope it's not like Independence Day,' he said, referring to the 1996 film in which aliens attack the Earth. Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3383221/Hillary-Clinton-vows-reveal-truth-UFOs-Area-51-president-Bill-admits-aliens-visited-Earth.html#ixzz3wHrsKVy2 Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook Hillary Clinton appeared to agree with her husband's comments when she spoke about aliens on last week. 'I think we may have been (visited already). We don't know for sure,' she said. She added that she would like to look into Area 51, which she first called Area 54 but quickly corrected herself. The Air Force facility based in Nevada has long been rumored to house aliens. Hillary Clinton's campaign chairman John Podesta is fan of UFO lore, the presidential candidate told the Sun. She said he watches an FX sci-fi show. Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3383221/Hillary-Clinton-vows-reveal-truth-UFOs-Area-51-president-Bill-admits-aliens-visited-Earth.html#ixzz3wHruDnjP Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook He has made me personally pledge we are going to get the information out,' Hillary Clinton said. 'One way or another. Maybe we could have, like, a task force to go to Area 51.' Podesta released a statement in 2014 in which he said his biggest regret during his time as a top adviser for President Barack Obama was not securing the release of classified UFO Files. 'Finally, my biggest failure of 2014: Once again not securing the #disclosure of the UFO files. #the truthisstilloutthere,' he said. Podesta was also the chief of staff to former President Bill Clinton. In 1993, billionaire Laurance Rockefeller asked then-President Bill Clinton to release UFO files. The president then reportedly met Rockefeller at his Wyoming estate in 1996 to discuss the 'Rockefeller Initiative', which would have securely released previously classified UFO files. UFO researcher and retired police officer Gary Heseltine told The Mirror that Hillary Clinton 'cannot run away' from links to the Rockefeller Initiative. 'I am well aware of the Rockefeller initiative and that both the Clintons were heavily involved in it,' he told The Mirror. 'It was inevitable that Hillary Clinton would be asked questions about her links to it and I am pleased that she has responded to them. 'She cannot run away from those links so she really has to embrace it in order to remain credible. It will be interesting to see how much of a political issue it will become in her presidential campaign.' Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3383221/Hillary-Clinton-vows-reveal-truth-UFOs-Area-51-president-Bill-admits-aliens-visited-Earth.html#ixzz3wHryecyx Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Daily Mail- Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has said that if she is elected, she will ‘get to the bottom’ of questions over what the government knows about UFOs and aliens.
She made the promise when speaking with Daymond Steer of The Conway Daily Sun in New Hampshire. She had previously interviewed with the same reporter in 2007.
When asked if she would support UFO disclosure group efforts, she enthusiastically said ‘yes’.
In 2007, Clinton said the most common freedom-of-information requests her husband Bill Clinton received at his library were about UFOs.
Yes, I’m going to get to the bottom of it,’ Hillary Clinton told The Sun reporter last week.
In 2014, Bill Clinton told late-night TV host Jimmy Kimmel that he wouldn’t be surprised if aliens visited Earth, and last week
‘No, I am trying to tell you I don’t know, but if we were visited some day I wouldn’t be surprised, I just hope it’s not like Independence Day,’ he said, referring to the 1996 film in which aliens attack the Earth.
Hillary Clinton appeared to agree with her husband’s comments when she spoke about aliens on last week.
‘I think we may have been (visited already). We don’t know for sure,’ she said.
She added that she would like to look into Area 51, which she first called Area 54 but quickly corrected herself.
The Air Force facility based in Nevada has long been rumored to house aliens.

Hey Hilary, you idiot. Of course we’ve been visited by Aliens already. You’re not making it easy for me to vote for you with all these dumb statements. How do you mix up Area 51 and Area 54? Have you never played Area 51 that’s in like every arcade/movie theater ever? Get that straight first off. Its Area 51. Now getting to the bottom of Aliens. Of course Aliens have visited us before, Hilary. And of course we’re housing some aliens and some space tech in that bunker. Shit, your husband probably tried to fuck one in a drunken stupor when he was commander in chief and just doesn’t remember it. So stop this whole we don’t know nonsense. The real issue is if you’re gonna let the common folk see all this stuff. Don’t you dare say you’re gonna get to the bottom of Area 51 and not let us know the nitty gritty details of aliens and space ships. How big are alien dicks? Are alien chicks hot? Can we reverse engineer their space ship so we can upload a virus into the mother ship and essentially take down their force field? You think the American people can’t handle it? Well I’ve seen The Avengers movies and people were pretty alright with it once all those giant alien space whales tunneled out of a black hole in the sky once they were dead and that ultimately thats all that matters. Do we got enough firepower in Area 51 to blow giant alien space whales to death. Look foreign policies and shit? let your team that does all the real voting and shit handle that. Lets get more space alien policies going on since its 2016 and im pretty sure an alien invasion is gonna happen in coming years.

Red Rocks!

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Oh We’re Going To The Winter Classic? Better Bring Our Meat Cleaver And Samurai Swords!

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You know what would spice up this annual sporting event that highlights the tradition of old school hockey outdoors? Not any fan memorabilia of the two historic original six hockey clubs or alcohol or any other tailgating festivities. No i think instead people should bring primitive as fuck weaponry like meat cleavers, samurai swords, and sling shots. Yea that sounds like it would be in tune with the theme of the Winter Classic.

Now you might think im joking, but im not. This was no ordinary Winter Classic. Sure the Bruins were in it before in a little rivalry with Philly being two historically tough teams, but this is The Canadiens we’re talking about. Greatest rivalry in sports. Both teams facing each other over 900 times now with the Bruins usually falling short to Montreal and once that clock ticked down to 0 in the 3rd, you chalked up another L. With these two fan bases both hockey crazy, Im not surprised if someone brought a battle axe to one of the largest NHL events when these two are in it.  That’s what makes rivalries so great, the fans feel the passion and if they both want to carry that passion on through fighting? well that’s just all part of the sport. Just sucks the B’s got blown up by Montreal. In my head i wanted it to be goal for goal matched. Players getting their shit pushed in against the board and the fans going nuts in the stands. Thats what makes the greatest rivalry in sports, the greatest rivalry in sports. Every one wants a taste of the blood. The Players, the coaches, and the fans.

Sidenote- Bitch move with the taser though. The rest are just hardcore.

 

Kim Jong Un Casually Offing his Closest Confidant And Blatantly Lying About It Is Such A Power Move.

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North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un's 'closest comrade' has become the latest top official to die in a crash in a country where there are 'almost no cars on the road'. Kim Yang-Gon, 73, who was in charge of ties with South Korea and a secretary of the ruling Workers' Party, died in a crash, state news agency Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) reported. Impoverished North Korea's road network is badly maintained and car ownership is rare, yet several high-level officials have died in traffic accidents over the years. In June 2010, KCNA reported that Ri Je Gang, 80, first vice department director of the Workers' Party's Central Committee, died in a traffic accident. Ri reportedly bickered with Jang Song Thaek, a powerful uncle of Kim Jong-Un, who was eventually executed by his nephew for alleged treason in 2013. In December 2009, the news agency said Ri Chol Bong, 78, chief secretary of the Workers' Party's Kangwon provincial committee, died in a traffic accident. Jang, the executed uncle of Kim, survived a car accident in September 2009, according to South Korean media reports. Foreign analysts believe Jang was also purged and sent to a labour camp for two years in the mid-2000s in what was seen as a move by Kim Jong-il, the late father of Kim Jong Un, to clip his wings. In October 2003, KCNA reported that Kim Yong Sun, a senior North Korean official involved in reconciliation efforts with South Korea, died of injuries sustained in a traffic accident four months earlier. Kim Yong Sun was a close aide to then-leader Kim Jong-il. But Kim Jong-il's military, which traditionally favours a hard-line stance on South Korea, had reportedly tried to hold him in check.

DailyMail- North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un’s ‘closest comrade’ has become the latest top official to die in a crash in a country where there are ‘almost no cars on the road’.
Kim Yang-Gon, 73, who was in charge of ties with South Korea and a secretary of the ruling Workers’ Party, died in a crash, state news agency Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) reported.
Impoverished North Korea’s road network is badly maintained and car ownership is rare, yet several high-level officials have died in traffic accidents over the years.
In June 2010, KCNA reported that Ri Je Gang, 80, first vice department director of the Workers’ Party’s Central Committee, died in a traffic accident.
Ri reportedly bickered with Jang Song Thaek, a powerful uncle of Kim Jong-Un, who was eventually executed by his nephew for alleged treason in 2013.
In December 2009, the news agency said Ri Chol Bong, 78, chief secretary of the Workers’ Party’s Kangwon provincial committee, died in a traffic accident.
Jang, the executed uncle of Kim, survived a car accident in September 2009, according to South Korean media reports.
Foreign analysts believe Jang was also purged and sent to a labour camp for two years in the mid-2000s in what was seen as a move by Kim Jong-il, the late father of Kim Jong Un, to clip his wings.
In October 2003, KCNA reported that Kim Yong Sun, a senior North Korean official involved in reconciliation efforts with South Korea, died of injuries sustained in a traffic accident four months earlier.
Kim Yong Sun was a close aide to then-leader Kim Jong-il. But Kim Jong-il’s military, which traditionally favours a hard-line stance on South Korea, had reportedly tried to hold him in check.

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Ruthless move by Kim Jong Un here. Blatantly lying in the peoples face. Oh yea my closest confidant that fucked up? He died in a tragic car accident even though it was in a remote area with no traffic what so ever in a country of people who are too poor to even afford cars but yes that is how he died. It seems that within the wreckage the car was traveling at such high speeds that he was somehow push to his knees on the ground and had a bullet put in his brain executioner style in, again, said wreckage. Oh and if you find your self doubting the word of the supreme leader you might even find your self in a fatal car accident somehow with a noose around your neck. Actually fuck that, having the honor of having your death being covered up in a blatant lie is a death reserved for his close buddies, he’ll probably just shoot you in the face for fun.

Does This Look Like The Face Of A Wisconsin Woman Who Tricked People Into Buying Crushed Up Dog Food Instead Of Heroin

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NYDN- A Wisconsin woman has been charged after she reportedly crushed up dog food and sold it as heroin. Megan Meyer, 22, allegedly sold the substance, as well as an aspirin she claimed was painkiller Percocet, to a police informant last month. A criminal complaint indicated Meyer met with a police informant on Nov. 18 and handed over the suspicious substances, Fox 6 News reported. In turn, the informant gave police a Ziploc bag that included “a folded-up piece of aluminum foil and a yellow round pill with no visible markings.” Tests of the substances turned up negative results, according to court documents. When police asked Meyer if she ever sold drugs, she answered that she had "sold some fake stuff" to a man in November. She told officers she was mad at the man because he had stolen a car seat from her, reported WESH.com. Charges have been filed against Meyer for selling imitation controlled substances as well as bail jumping. The bail jumping charges were the result of a deferred conviction agreement on two forgery charges approved in October. Meyer could face more than 15 years in prison if convicted of the charges.

NYDN- A Wisconsin woman has been charged after she reportedly crushed up dog food and sold it as heroin.
Megan Meyer, 22, allegedly sold the substance, as well as an aspirin she claimed was painkiller Percocet, to a police informant last month.
A criminal complaint indicated Meyer met with a police informant on Nov. 18 and handed over the suspicious substances, Fox 6 News reported.
In turn, the informant gave police a Ziploc bag that included “a folded-up piece of aluminum foil and a yellow round pill with no visible markings.”
Tests of the substances turned up negative results, according to court documents.
When police asked Meyer if she ever sold drugs, she answered that she had “sold some fake stuff” to a man in November.
She told officers she was mad at the man because he had stolen a car seat from her, reported WESH.com.
Charges have been filed against Meyer for selling imitation controlled substances as well as bail jumping.
The bail jumping charges were the result of a deferred conviction agreement on two forgery charges approved in October.
Meyer could face more than 15 years in prison if convicted of the charges.

I feel like such a god damn square right now for not knowing what heroin looked like off the bat. When i read the headline at first i thought this chick opened a can of Alpo dog food and assumed that’s what heroin looked like. I don’t know i figured they could just main line the gravy sauce into them and the druggie wouldn’t be any the wiser. Guess I was wrong.

But that’s not the main point. The thing i want to bring up here is that its kinda bullshit that you can go serve up to 15 years for fake drugs right? I mean yea she might’ve called it heroin but all she was selling was dog food. Pet Supermarket moves dog food by the tons and yet Megan Myers over here can get 15 years possibly for it? kinda messed up right? If the guy chooses to treat it like heroin and injects it in between his knuckles then thats his own problem. Caveat Emptor. Let the buyer beware that its not actually heroin and is only just crushed up kibbles and bits. Are we really gonna let a druggy win in court over basic rules of commerce? Fuck that. Let Megan go and for christ sakes someone get back her stolen car seat from the guy.

Its Friday So Lets All Enjoy This Malamute Treating This Stuffed Wolf Like A Puppy

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An 18-month-old Alaskan Malamute is winning thousands of fans online after her owner documented her relationship with her favorite toy. Before Karissa Lerch, 24, from Durham, North Carolina, bought Luca, she had wanted a dog for some time, but couldn't afford one. Eventually she bought herself a toy wolf from Toys-R-Us to tide her over. Years later, when she was finally able to get a real dog, Karissa was more than happy to offer her plush companion to the eight-week-old Luca. 'I passed the stuffed animal down to her and she has kept it by her side at all times ever since,' Karissa wrote on Reddit. 'It’s her baby. She carries it around everywhere and always has it with her when she goes to bed.' The toy dog was originally also named Luca, but as that became confusing, the family renamed the plush pop 'Mr Wolf'. According to Karissa, the toy is 'definitely not dog durable, but [Luca] is super gentle with it.'

DailyMail- An 18-month-old Alaskan Malamute is winning thousands of fans online after her owner documented her relationship with her favorite toy.
Before Karissa Lerch, 24, from Durham, North Carolina, bought Luca, she had wanted a dog for some time, but couldn’t afford one. Eventually she bought herself a toy wolf from Toys-R-Us to tide her over.
Years later, when she was finally able to get a real dog, Karissa was more than happy to offer her plush companion to the eight-week-old Luca.
‘I passed the stuffed animal down to her and she has kept it by her side at all times ever since,’ Karissa wrote on Reddit.
‘It’s her baby. She carries it around everywhere and always has it with her when she goes to bed.’
The toy dog was originally also named Luca, but as that became confusing, the family renamed the plush pop ‘Mr Wolf’.
According to Karissa, the toy is ‘definitely not dog durable, but [Luca] is super gentle with it.’

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Adorbs. Just all cute as shit and should make girls flutter and go “awwwwwww!!!!!” You know not too long ago my dog did the same with Mr. Zebra, a stuffed toy zebra he use to sleep with untill one day he took a dump in his kennel and ruined it. But that’s not a story that makes chicks uterus go crazy so just stick with the pictures.

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Hot Teacher Got Arrested Because Jealousy Reared Its Ugly Head In The First Kid She F’ed After She Was Caught Hiking With Another Kid.

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A former Westlake High School math teacher has been arrested after the Travis County sheriff’s office said she developed sexual relationships with two students this year. Haeli Wey, 28, has been charged with two counts of improper relationship with a student, a second-degree felony. She was booked into Travis County Jail on Thursday morning with bail set at $150,000. +Former Westlake teacher charged with sexual contact with 2 students photo Haeli Wey According to arrest affidavits, one of the two 17-year-old students told authorities that he had sex with Wey about 10 times between August and September after he met her at a student ministry program over the summer and their families became close. She sent him pictures of herself with little or no clothing, according to the affidavit. Sex between the student and Wey stopped after he discovered she went on a hike with the other 17-year-old, the document says. According to the sheriff’s office, Wey sent messages on Instagram on Sept. 24 to the second student, who she had met at a summer camp, about going for a hike at Commons Ford Park. During the hike, they kissed and touched each other, the affidavit says. Wey told the student to delete the Instagram messages she sent him and “don’t let anyone get a hold of ur phone,” according to the affidavit. Two people reported the alleged relationship to authorities, the record shows. As the investigation continued, Wey contacted the first student and asked him “why did you tell them” and called and texted him repeatedly until he responded, the affidavit says. Wey, a district employee since 2013, resigned from the school district in October after Eanes school Superintendent Tom Leonard told parents in a letter that she had sent inappropriate electronic messages to a student. Wey is one of 41 teachers that the Texas Education Agency has investigated for alleged improper student-teacher relationships since Sept. 1. She surrendered her teaching license Tuesday, according to the State Board of Educator Certification. “This incident is shocking and upsetting,” Leonard said in a letter to parents and staff Thursday. “I want to reinforce that this behavior is not tolerated in Eanes ISD. Inappropriate communication and relationships involving teachers and students is unacceptable and, as in this case, against the law. We trust that the justice system, with our continued cooperation, will reinforce this message.”

MyStatesman- A former Westlake High School math teacher has been arrested after the Travis County sheriff’s office said she developed sexual relationships with two students this year.
Haeli Wey, 28, has been charged with two counts of improper relationship with a student, a second-degree felony. She was booked into Travis County Jail on Thursday morning with bail set at $150,000.
According to arrest affidavits, one of the two 17-year-old students told authorities that he had sex with Wey about 10 times between August and September after he met her at a student ministry program over the summer and their families became close. She sent him pictures of herself with little or no clothing, according to the affidavit. Sex between the student and Wey stopped after he discovered she went on a hike with the other 17-year-old, the document says.
According to the sheriff’s office, Wey sent messages on Instagram on Sept. 24 to the second student, who she had met at a summer camp, about going for a hike at Commons Ford Park. During the hike, they kissed and touched each other, the affidavit says. Wey told the student to delete the Instagram messages she sent him and “don’t let anyone get a hold of ur phone,” according to the affidavit.
Two people reported the alleged relationship to authorities, the record shows. As the investigation continued, Wey contacted the first student and asked him “why did you tell them” and called and texted him repeatedly until he responded, the affidavit says.
Wey, a district employee since 2013, resigned from the school district in October after Eanes school Superintendent Tom Leonard told parents in a letter that she had sent inappropriate electronic messages to a student.
Wey is one of 41 teachers that the Texas Education Agency has investigated for alleged improper student-teacher relationships since Sept. 1. She surrendered her teaching license Tuesday, according to the State Board of Educator Certification.
“This incident is shocking and upsetting,” Leonard said in a letter to parents and staff Thursday. “I want to reinforce that this behavior is not tolerated in Eanes ISD. Inappropriate communication and relationships involving teachers and students is unacceptable and, as in this case, against the law. We trust that the justice system, with our continued cooperation, will reinforce this message.”

(The way she spells her name and the look in her eyes just scream crazy sex to me)

Now I know the Ugly Orange is intended for readers 18 or older, but let this be a lesson to you youngsters out there strolling the internet. The world is constantly being flooded by teachers who desperately want to get into the pants of some high school kid whether it be the jock or the cool guy, maybe even a drama nerd or computer geek.  There’s a possibility for any one because these teachers who F high school kids are crazy. There’s a very real possibility that theirs something wrong in their brain that just makes them super horny for the kids they teach. But just as that crazy bestowed in her has given you the chance to get your dick sucked by Ms. Wey, you gotta realize that its probably gonna drive her brain to make her go hike in the woods with your classmate and she will probably end up sucking his dick too. Its just how it works. Don’t brag about it to all the kids in class and definitely do not tell the authorities, and don’t get emotionally involved because it will ruin a good thing. She’s not something that’s meant to be kept for yourself. You gotta let the crazy hot ministry teacher run free like a mustang in the wild.

 

Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Who Was Too Embarrassed To Buy A Butt Plug And Fake Pussy Toy So Instead He Got Caught Stealing It?

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A Florida man caught shoplifting two sex toys from a Spencer’s store told police that he had enough money for the items, but was “too embarrassed” to pay for them at the cashier. According to police, Christopher Masters, 32, was in the Vero Beach store Thursday evening when a manager spotted him removing an “Arouz’d screw butt plug” from its packaging. Masters, cops reported, placed the item in his khaki shorts. Masters then allegedly did the same with an “Arouz’d stroker can.” After walking around Spencer's for a few minutes, Masters (seen at right) exited the business with the purloined anal plug and the “ridged tunnel stroker,” which cops valued at a combined $29.98. Masters, who was collared by store security, “admitted to stealing the screw butt plug and stroker can,” noted police. “Masters further stated that he had enough money on him but he was too embarrassed to pay for them because they were sex toys.” Masters, who is listed as a mechanic in jail records, was charged with shoplifting, a misdemeanor, and booked into the county jail (from which he was later released on bond). A police report does not indicate whether the sex toys were seized as evidence.

Smoking Gun– A Florida man caught shoplifting two sex toys from a Spencer’s store told police that he had enough money for the items, but was “too embarrassed” to pay for them at the cashier.
According to police, Christopher Masters, 32, was in the Vero Beach store Thursday evening when a manager spotted him removing an “Arouz’d screw butt plug” from its packaging. Masters, cops reported, placed the item in his khaki shorts. Masters then allegedly did the same with an “Arouz’d stroker can.”
After walking around Spencer’s for a few minutes, Masters (seen at right) exited the business with the purloined anal plug and the “ridged tunnel stroker,” which cops valued at a combined $29.98.
Masters, who was collared by store security, “admitted to stealing the screw butt plug and stroker can,” noted police. “Masters further stated that he had enough money on him but he was too embarrassed to pay for them because they were sex toys.”
Masters, who is listed as a mechanic in jail records, was charged with shoplifting, a misdemeanor, and booked into the county jail (from which he was later released on bond).
A police report does not indicate whether the sex toys were seized as evidence.

EXHIBIT A)

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EXHIBIT B)

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I’m gonna try to help out Masters here and say that its not entirely his fault stealing a butt plug that’s pretty much just a dildo and a pocket pussy from Spencer’s. Why? because its fucking Spencer’s. One of the more revered stores in the mall. That place is strictly for high schoolers to buy gag gifts or bring your girlfriend to look at the sex stuff and convince her to try BJs and anal. But no chance any guy actually buys the sex toys from there. Its society’s fault. You can’t just casually bring a twisted dildo up to the checkout counter in a crowded mall where everyone is shopping for sweaters and eating shitty mall food court food and pretend that you’re just making a casual purchase. You gotta buy sex toys at a sex shop where people can’t judge you because almost everyone there is fucked up sexually already. No ones gonna judge you for buying a butt plug. Why? because there’s a strong chance the next person walking into the store is looking for an even large butt plug because the 1st one they got wore out a few weeks ago and now they need a bigger one to get off. You gotta find your self a shitty run down Sex shop in some strip mall that is always brightly lit when you walk in and porn covering the walls all over. The Lions Den on 95, Hustler on Sunrise, Premier Couples on OBT any of those big sex shops are fine. If not that then its 2015 and Amazon prime that butt plug right to your front door. Skip all that worrying about judging eyes and order sex toys from Adam & Eve. You Live and learn, Kid. You live and learn.

P.s- Why does it look like he’s wearing a barbers gown thing? Probably because he’s wearing one of those crude r-rated t-shirts that they sell at Spencers. I dont know how old this guy is but you just shouldn’t even go into a Spencers past like 19. Grow up bro.

 

Guy Gets Viciously Speared In A Rugby Match

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Now its been awhile since I’ve watched wrestling and even longer since I’ve played any of the video games, but do you remember when you could make your own character you obviously had to give him the spear as one of his moves. The Rock did it, Goldberg, all the greats had a good spear in their repertoire. The only problem was the actual look of the spear. You could do the very basic one where the character slowly dives into the guys abdomen but that wasn’t good enough. You needed the ones like the The Rock where you flew at mach speed into the person and they folded up like a binder and brought their spine into the canvas. Well thats what we had here in this rugby match. A spear worthy of sending an opponent through those cheap ply wood table or the spanish announcers table. There was no breaking the 3 count on that one because he was probably dead. His rib cage/internal organs/mental psyche just left his body and went straight into the ground. Ruthless but such a beautiful hit.

P.s- the problem with this is when ever I make a post relating to wrestling i spend hours watching old WWF footage. I was gonna blog this at 11 am and its 2:30 pm right now and I might’ve hit the end of youtube searching for WWF videos.

P.P.S- I give the guy probs for holding onto the ball all the way through the hit. Good chance I would’ve thrown the ball and ran for my life screaming if i saw that guy accelerating towards me