For real Zika’s still a thing? You’d imagine that shit would be dead by now considering no one talks about it and PSA alerts about deformed baby skulls aren’t plastered anywhere anymore but what ever the case I’m okay with this. Gotta get on their level if you want to take em on face to face and what a dastardly way to do it too. It’s kinda like reverse fem-bots from Austin Powers. Instead of sexy robot ladies, we send in hot guy mosquitoes so that the chick mosquito thots get horny and forget about even feasting on human blood. Little do they know is their sperms loaded with shit that’ll kill them before they’re old enough to claim as an independent. Kinda like we’re sending a mosquito version of aids to wipe out other mosquitoes. Kinda fucked up. But what ever, that’s what we get for having intelligent brains, we get to mass genocide insects through sexually transmitted diseases that hopefully wont also eradicate the human race. Sometimes I think about shit like this and aliens and the movie Signs and who knows maybe we can send em a prank box of mosquitoes and next thing you know we can take down an alien ship because none of them fuck with Wolbachia bacteria.
Tag Archives: aliens
This Giant Shipworm Is One Of The Grossest Things Ever. Ever.
I know i kinda rejoiced five seconds ago about not getting obliterated by an asteroid in my last post, seeing this kinda makes me wish the Earth was knocked out so hard that we get evaporate from all existence in the universe. I hate thinking about slimey slug like things (oddly enough i kinda have this idea with worms to save the world, but thats for another time). Serious what was god or science thinking when they cooked up this things? Maybe its because of science fiction movies mixed with natural horror stories but I think every time i see something like this I automatically think its going to get into my brain somehow. I blame that damn show Animorphs. There was that weird alien race that infected humans by putting slugs into their ears and i distinctly remember the password to get into their cult meeting in the basement of a burger joint was “cheeseburger hold the cheese.” When you walk in you line up and wait for alien slugs to enter your brain so they can control you. Thats what I think of when i see gross creatures like this only this thing is massive. Is that a weird thought? maybe. But this thing was just chilling inside a PVC tube for decades growing into the size of a young adult. Its gross and I wont stand for it.
P.s- It also grosses me out when i walk into a sex shop and see those massive ultra black dildos.
Screen Rant: Arrival **SPOILERS** (This Is Manly About Jeremy Renner)
In a shocking turn of events, this movie kinda stinks to me. Its a classic scenario where the sum of the parts are greater than the sum of the whole even though some parts i didn’t even care for. I hear some people saying its a perfect sci-fi movie and all this gibber jabber. You know what makes an awesome sci-fi movie? Fucking Aliens and Humans fighting to the death in space or some shit. You know what makes a lame Sci-fi movie? Aliens just sitting down wasting our time only for nothing to happen while basically sitting in french class. That was Arrival. Don’t get me wrong I had a little bit of a kick watching the movie. Sure it was cool watching how the fuck we would begin to even kind of speak to aliens that can’t communicate with us. Was there a level of suspense? Sure. But ultimately this is just the like a Biography on Amy Adams’ character and the biggest story to her is just the one time the world was in a frenzy because aliens came down to earth all intimidating as shit and somehow she brokered a peace treaty with nothing happening as if we’re suppose to be cool with these aliens. I’ll admit fully that I probably was in the wrong thinking it was going to be some crazy action summer blockbuster when it says Mystery/Drama/Sci-fi. But you can’t just have 12 alien ships touching down on Earth, Jeremy Renner, and a whole military vibe and expect me to think this is an alien rendition of the Treaty of Paris, and even that should involve coalition forces pressuring a midget alien into giving up power before hand. All together I give it a 9 alien spaceships out of 12 that landed on earth. Good film that’s a thought provoking and interesting but fails to give Jeremy Renner a gun or some sort of long distance weapon he could use to maim Heptapods while point a gun at one of the aliens and saying, in a southie accent, “See my face? You tell the aliens, all right. But just remember, I’ve seen yours too.”
Do We Buy Jeremy Renner As A Scientist?
Probably something most people let fly right by them but not me. Probably the most different role Renner has ever jumped into. Now I’m a Renner gun. Hurt Locker was awesome. The Town, awesome. Hawkeye, maybe not the coolest of the cast but the guy seriously can’t miss, that means a lot when a human has to take on aliens from space. But all of those guys play badasses with weapons, because whether Renner realizes it or not, the guy was born to hold range weapons in his hand. I don’t know what it is, maybe its the fact that you can always picture him in Oakley sunglasses and probably Axe hair styling products. Did he do a decent job playing this character in this movie, sure. But its to the point where he just suits the role of a gunner, not a scientist. Sure the movie dresses him up with glasses and half zip sweaters and enough dialogue to make him feel like a scientist. But the fact of the matter is Scientist are nerds and they don’t look like Jeremy Renner. They look like this.
Close your eyes for a second and let me paint you a scene and you tell me when the image falls apart.
Man wakes up. He looks at his alarm clock, its 6:45 A.M. He gets out of bed and goes into the shower to get ready for the day. He exits shower and gets a good amount of Axe™pomade and styles his hair. As he leaves the house he picks up his sunglasses and keys. He departs his home on his motorcycle to his work. He arrives at his science laboratory and begins to do science and theoretical physicists work with numbers on a chalk board. He sciences to the point where he runs out of space on his chalk board and begins to write science math on the glass windows of his science laboratory. Struggling with a math equation that involves numbers, Greek symbols, and letters, he scratches his rugged but clean cut, pomade styled head of hair in confusion.
Things all sorta add up right? He wakes up early to do science stuff. He writes on chalk boards AND glass windows. The typical mark of a scientist. Just somethings not adding up and i bet your puzzled because this characterization is almost spot on but let me tell you where it all falls apart. Its the Hair styling products. I know. shocked. See a science nerd wakes up and sciences 24/7. He’s not concerned with having sex with a human girl, only to make a really big science discovery. So as you can see they would have no need to style their hair or look good. Jeremy Renner is a good looking dude. Sure he’s kinda short. But other than that the guy styles his hair and works out. 2 things that scientist definitely do not do. I’ll even go as far as to say on a day to day occasion JR might put on a leather cuff to let the ladies know he still plays guitar. Just things that book worms who went to MIT wouldn’t do. I don’t blame Renner for playing the role, I blame casting for getting a rock star bad ass to play a guy that reads books on black holes and shit.
QUOTE OF THE FILM
Such a bizarre line for the movie. Bold line. A line that maybe Jeremy Renner could get away with. Not one that a science nerd could though however. You know who else could pull off a line like that? Black people. Those smooth motherfuckers just go up to the hottest girl in the club and say “damn girl, I want you to have my baby” and next thing you know her pants look like the target of a water balloon fight. I pull a line like that and I guarantee Id get a jab to the throat and thrown in jail.
This is a lot of writing, like 500 words all so i can cal him a NERDDDDDDD for being a book reader. NNNNNEEEERRRRRRRDDDDDDDD
Hey guy, maybe its time you grow up and have kids or something because there’s no reason what so ever to “cry like a baby” from a movie that was basically like watching 7th grade french class between Amy Adams and a pair of aliens.
Amy Adams is in fact getting to the point where i only associate her with Aliens.
Making Aliens build a roof and making them pay for it. You can disagree with all of Trumps other policies and his foreign relations he might have but if he pulled that off he’s be on the side of Mount Rushmore with George Washington and who ever else is on the side of that mountain.
Stressed out to the max. Was stressed watching the bird be stressed
Bro fuck outta here. Interstellar was fucking awesome. Guy acts as if traveling across the universe in space to rescue humanity is like taking I-75 to Orlando or something. Definitely trumps Arrival.
Breaded and fried with a dipping sauce. Not because i think that was is particularly better or “respects the ingredients” more as chefs say, but because anything deep fried in a heavy batter with a lot of dipping sauces makes almost anything tolerable. Can cook part of a boot and i probably wouldn’t mind if it had enough blue cheese or marinara.
Sounds like my next homework assignment
True story but its 2016 almost 2017 so I gotta be progressive about this.
I can never look away. Sidenote though, imagine if you found out his eye was normal this whole time and he just did that as an act. Like you watch him slowly walking around town and his left eye opens up slowly to normal like Keyzer Soze.
See, this person gets it.
Bet this guy called his friends and family about this theory.
Frog is wrong
I bet Ayyylmao would negotiate with terrorist. Bro they’re aliens that refuse to try to learn OUR language and are intimidating as shit. Not to mention no one really hurt the aliens at any point besides the bomb and even then they were fine. Fuck these aliens.
……..Id watch that porn.
I assume razor323 means Robert Langdon in which case, Scoreboard. Guy solved 2 mysteries to Amy Adam’s goose egg. Sure he specializes in religious stuff, but u can’t not consider bringing him in to interview for the job.
This is the kind of nerd who went to Space camp or something, took back 1 fact that stuck with him forever and cam in joy writing out this technical quibble that no one cares about. Nerd.
If Hilary Wants To Let The Common Folk In On Whats Really Going Down At Area-51 Then She Might Just Have My Vote
Hey Hilary, you idiot. Of course we’ve been visited by Aliens already. You’re not making it easy for me to vote for you with all these dumb statements. How do you mix up Area 51 and Area 54? Have you never played Area 51 that’s in like every arcade/movie theater ever? Get that straight first off. Its Area 51. Now getting to the bottom of Aliens. Of course Aliens have visited us before, Hilary. And of course we’re housing some aliens and some space tech in that bunker. Shit, your husband probably tried to fuck one in a drunken stupor when he was commander in chief and just doesn’t remember it. So stop this whole we don’t know nonsense. The real issue is if you’re gonna let the common folk see all this stuff. Don’t you dare say you’re gonna get to the bottom of Area 51 and not let us know the nitty gritty details of aliens and space ships. How big are alien dicks? Are alien chicks hot? Can we reverse engineer their space ship so we can upload a virus into the mother ship and essentially take down their force field? You think the American people can’t handle it? Well I’ve seen The Avengers movies and people were pretty alright with it once all those giant alien space whales tunneled out of a black hole in the sky once they were dead and that ultimately thats all that matters. Do we got enough firepower in Area 51 to blow giant alien space whales to death. Look foreign policies and shit? let your team that does all the real voting and shit handle that. Lets get more space alien policies going on since its 2016 and im pretty sure an alien invasion is gonna happen in coming years.
Apparently There Are Plans For An Animorphs Movie
If you don’t know what that means in relations to this Animorphs than you aren’t cool enough in my books.
The 90’s were awesome. Great tv shows. Awesome cartoons, and books kids actually wanted to read. I use to order some of the Animorphs book straight out of the scholastic catalogs that we use to get like one a month in our home room class. Once it became a tv show, i thought it was the best thing ever. I mean that has to be a top 10 dream for kids right? to be able to morph into some animal? Just have a rolodex in your brain of what animals look like after you’ve touched them and just morph into any one when you need it? Don’t see a downside to that at all besides the alien war you get wrapped up in trying to save earth from the aliens in which you got your powers from but thats just a minor inconvenience. All i know is i grew up wishing i was Jake however long that show ran. He’s your classic 90’s white kid. blonde, played some sports, didnt dress weird, could get the girl, main character in a alien race war storyline. Had it all. Tobias if i remember correctly was the weirdo of the group. Kinda emo right? always cool he turned into a falcon and flew away but he was definitely the black sheep of the group. Anyways i hope this movie doesnt stink. The new Goosebumps movie looks awful but i guess if i were a child i would be amused by it, But i want to see Animorphs on a whole new level. I mean they use to let like slugs go into their ear and brain and shit. I want to take that grossness and make it awesome.
P.s- Cheeseburger hold the cheese was the password at the burger joint to get secret access to become one of those alien gross people who let slugs go into their brains. I think about it every time im at McDonalds.
P.P.S- You can watch some episodes HERE
Remember My Theory About Amelia Earhart? (Not The Orgy Theory)
Now really which theory is more ridiculous? The idea that some star fleet destroyer made up by movie writers for some sci-fi opera some how is on Mars desolate surface? Or the Idea that black holes and the Bermuda triangle, a scientific phenomenon that can’t really be explained, might’ve sucked in a plane flown by Amelia Earhart who was never seen or heard from again flying an object similar to the object scene in the photo? Exactly.