RACINE — A Racine family says their principal accused their child of selling sex toys at school. The 12-year-old girl’s father has been trying to clear his daughter’s name ever since she was suspended for three days from Trinity Lutheran School on Geneva Street in Racine. Parents may recognize the toy in question. They are called “water snake wigglies.” The girl claims she had permission from a teacher to sell the children’s toys. However, the principal at Trinity Lutheran School accused the student of selling what she thought were sex toys. The school’s pastor, Pastor David Gehne, said this issue already went before the school board, which sided with the principal. “We wouldn’t discuss the details of any situation regarding one of our children, they’re all minors,” said Gehne. “In your wildest imaginations, no adult could possibly view this as a sex toy, this is a water-filled bag,” said Milt Habeck, the father of the girl. Habeck adds he does not plan to stop until his daughter’s record is cleared. He wrote a blog online that includes witness statements titled: “Vindicate Frances.”
First things first, I’m 26 years old and I’ve had zero idea what those things are called. When speaking about it, its one of those things where you just say “You know one of those plastic things that are filled with water and flip out of your hand.” That 16 word phrase was it’s name for 26 years and will be forever moving forward cause i just had no idea they were actually called a “water snake wigglie”
That being said, This Lutheran principle has 100 percent stuck his dick in one of those plastic things that are filled with water and flip out of your hand. He’s not completely wrong for suspending this girl cause those can definitely be used as a sex toy. I’m not saying I’ve rocked out with one like it was a pocket pussy. But lets say when you’re 13-14 and learning about sex stuff and watched your first porn where they were doing shit like fingering a woman. The next time you saw one of those plastic things that are filled with water and flip out of your hand, you absolutely put your fingers in that thing slowly and thought very unchristian things. I know that’s not just me out there. So while I don’t think this girl should get in trouble or nothing. I can definitely see this principles side. For one, walking by at a glance, it looks like she’s selling a monster pink glittery dildo. Taking a second look, the principle was probably like “oh shit, this girls peddling flesh lights around my campus and its selling like hot cakes.” Only the last and logical thought is that its one of those stupid toys being sold to raise money for autistic kids and I guarantee those students are buying one just to try to stick their dicks in it later when they get home from school.
P.s- This is best case scenario, three day break from school with out getting in trouble with your parents. Kids, start slinging these fake sex toys and enjoy a break while counting your 1’s.
Smoking Gun– A Florida man caught shoplifting two sex toys from a Spencer’s store told police that he had enough money for the items, but was “too embarrassed” to pay for them at the cashier. According to police, Christopher Masters, 32, was in the Vero Beach store Thursday evening when a manager spotted him removing an “Arouz’d screw butt plug” from its packaging. Masters, cops reported, placed the item in his khaki shorts. Masters then allegedly did the same with an “Arouz’d stroker can.” After walking around Spencer’s for a few minutes, Masters (seen at right) exited the business with the purloined anal plug and the “ridged tunnel stroker,” which cops valued at a combined $29.98. Masters, who was collared by store security, “admitted to stealing the screw butt plug and stroker can,” noted police. “Masters further stated that he had enough money on him but he was too embarrassed to pay for them because they were sex toys.” Masters, who is listed as a mechanic in jail records, was charged with shoplifting, a misdemeanor, and booked into the county jail (from which he was later released on bond). A police report does not indicate whether the sex toys were seized as evidence.
I’m gonna try to help out Masters here and say that its not entirely his fault stealing a butt plug that’s pretty much just a dildo and a pocket pussy from Spencer’s. Why? because its fucking Spencer’s. One of the more revered stores in the mall. That place is strictly for high schoolers to buy gag gifts or bring your girlfriend to look at the sex stuff and convince her to try BJs and anal. But no chance any guy actually buys the sex toys from there. Its society’s fault. You can’t just casually bring a twisted dildo up to the checkout counter in a crowded mall where everyone is shopping for sweaters and eating shitty mall food court food and pretend that you’re just making a casual purchase. You gotta buy sex toys at a sex shop where people can’t judge you because almost everyone there is fucked up sexually already. No ones gonna judge you for buying a butt plug. Why? because there’s a strong chance the next person walking into the store is looking for an even large butt plug because the 1st one they got wore out a few weeks ago and now they need a bigger one to get off. You gotta find your self a shitty run down Sex shop in some strip mall that is always brightly lit when you walk in and porn covering the walls all over. The Lions Den on 95, Hustler on Sunrise, Premier Couples on OBT any of those big sex shops are fine. If not that then its 2015 and Amazon prime that butt plug right to your front door. Skip all that worrying about judging eyes and order sex toys from Adam & Eve. You Live and learn, Kid. You live and learn.
P.s- Why does it look like he’s wearing a barbers gown thing? Probably because he’s wearing one of those crude r-rated t-shirts that they sell at Spencers. I dont know how old this guy is but you just shouldn’t even go into a Spencers past like 19. Grow up bro.