Tag Archives: Dildo

Unsolved Mystery: What Was The Bad Experience That Lead To A 71 Year Old Man To Leave Copious Amount Of Dildo’s At A Louisiana Books-A-Million

The Smoking Gun- Following a “bad experience” at a Books-A-Million outlet near his Louisiana home, the 71-year-old Lentz decided to retaliate in a unique way.
No, the septuagenarian did not stage a boycott or write a strongly worded letter to the local newspaper.
Instead, Lentz visited the Monroe business and left dildos on the shelves of the store’s Religion section. Lentz copped to his bizarre actions during a police interview Sunday morning “about leaving sex toys (Dildos)” at the chain store (seen below).
Lentz, pictured above, told cops he “had extra items, so he used them for that purpose.” Books-A-Million workers told police that there had been “several incidents involving Lentz leaving the items in the Religious section of the store.”
Store surveillance video recorded Lentz in the act and the retiree “confirmed that was him on the video leaving the Dildos,” cops noted. A probable cause affidavit does not detail Lentz’s “bad experience” at the bookstore.
Lentz, charged with criminal mischief and criminal trespassing, is free on $700 bond.

Such a mystery this story is. Worst part about a grudge is when the other side has no idea what the grudge is about or that it’s even going on but all you know is you have to control the situation and clean up all the dildos left behind in the wake of a grudge. The broad vagueness of “bed experience” is just so intriguing. At a Louisiana Books-a-million no less. What can possibly happen at dying large chain bookstore to have someone maliciously cause criminal mischief by leaving behind dildos all over the religious section of the store? Did a christian nut bump into him and it rubbed him the long way? Did they not have the book he wanted and as an act of revenge he just leads a blitzkrieg of dildos right in their eyeballs? And then there’s the fact that he said Dildos were his weapon of choice because he had so many extra dildos laying around. It’s absurd.

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Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Who Was Too Embarrassed To Buy A Butt Plug And Fake Pussy Toy So Instead He Got Caught Stealing It?

A Florida man caught shoplifting two sex toys from a Spencer’s store told police that he had enough money for the items, but was “too embarrassed” to pay for them at the cashier. According to police, Christopher Masters, 32, was in the Vero Beach store Thursday evening when a manager spotted him removing an “Arouz’d screw butt plug” from its packaging. Masters, cops reported, placed the item in his khaki shorts. Masters then allegedly did the same with an “Arouz’d stroker can.” After walking around Spencer's for a few minutes, Masters (seen at right) exited the business with the purloined anal plug and the “ridged tunnel stroker,” which cops valued at a combined $29.98. Masters, who was collared by store security, “admitted to stealing the screw butt plug and stroker can,” noted police. “Masters further stated that he had enough money on him but he was too embarrassed to pay for them because they were sex toys.” Masters, who is listed as a mechanic in jail records, was charged with shoplifting, a misdemeanor, and booked into the county jail (from which he was later released on bond). A police report does not indicate whether the sex toys were seized as evidence.

Smoking Gun– A Florida man caught shoplifting two sex toys from a Spencer’s store told police that he had enough money for the items, but was “too embarrassed” to pay for them at the cashier.
According to police, Christopher Masters, 32, was in the Vero Beach store Thursday evening when a manager spotted him removing an “Arouz’d screw butt plug” from its packaging. Masters, cops reported, placed the item in his khaki shorts. Masters then allegedly did the same with an “Arouz’d stroker can.”
After walking around Spencer’s for a few minutes, Masters (seen at right) exited the business with the purloined anal plug and the “ridged tunnel stroker,” which cops valued at a combined $29.98.
Masters, who was collared by store security, “admitted to stealing the screw butt plug and stroker can,” noted police. “Masters further stated that he had enough money on him but he was too embarrassed to pay for them because they were sex toys.”
Masters, who is listed as a mechanic in jail records, was charged with shoplifting, a misdemeanor, and booked into the county jail (from which he was later released on bond).
A police report does not indicate whether the sex toys were seized as evidence.

EXHIBIT A)

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EXHIBIT B)

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I’m gonna try to help out Masters here and say that its not entirely his fault stealing a butt plug that’s pretty much just a dildo and a pocket pussy from Spencer’s. Why? because its fucking Spencer’s. One of the more revered stores in the mall. That place is strictly for high schoolers to buy gag gifts or bring your girlfriend to look at the sex stuff and convince her to try BJs and anal. But no chance any guy actually buys the sex toys from there. Its society’s fault. You can’t just casually bring a twisted dildo up to the checkout counter in a crowded mall where everyone is shopping for sweaters and eating shitty mall food court food and pretend that you’re just making a casual purchase. You gotta buy sex toys at a sex shop where people can’t judge you because almost everyone there is fucked up sexually already. No ones gonna judge you for buying a butt plug. Why? because there’s a strong chance the next person walking into the store is looking for an even large butt plug because the 1st one they got wore out a few weeks ago and now they need a bigger one to get off. You gotta find your self a shitty run down Sex shop in some strip mall that is always brightly lit when you walk in and porn covering the walls all over. The Lions Den on 95, Hustler on Sunrise, Premier Couples on OBT any of those big sex shops are fine. If not that then its 2015 and Amazon prime that butt plug right to your front door. Skip all that worrying about judging eyes and order sex toys from Adam & Eve. You Live and learn, Kid. You live and learn.

P.s- Why does it look like he’s wearing a barbers gown thing? Probably because he’s wearing one of those crude r-rated t-shirts that they sell at Spencers. I dont know how old this guy is but you just shouldn’t even go into a Spencers past like 19. Grow up bro.