Orlando Weekly- Gopher tortoises don’t swim. They sink. However, a recent SnapChat from a Florida woman shows her “saving” a poor gopher tortoise by hurling it into a lake.
“Here’s a little note to self to anyone who finds a turtle – save it. Don’t just leave it on the road. They’re so cute,” says the woman, holding the doomed reptile.
“Turtle saving is a hobby,” she proclaims before sending the little guy to a watery grave.
Apparently Floridians tossing gopher tortoises into water is a recurring problem. This unfortunate turtle death comes only 5 months after a string of incidents where people “helped” tortoises into the ocean. News13 even ran a story titled, “Gopher tortoises don’t swim. Don’t help them into the ocean.”
According to the the FWC, gopher tortoises are a threatened species and are currently protected under Florida state law.

Well it seems like we’re just preaching for animals to be left alone between the Animal activist kidnapping dogs and this foolish little girl thinking she’s doing some good in the world. I hope this rocks her to her very core and it should. Here she was all high and mighty trying to preach to people and pumping her ego and snapchat score with this and probably wants to go viral and on buzzfeed as girl who saves turtle. Well guess what? You murdered that poor fucking tortoise Gambino crime family style swimming with the fishes and you fucking smiled doing it. Listen any testudine creature (big fucking word) are fucking longevity creatures. They just last. They don’t need to see the world at a million miles per hour or from some safe confines. They just exist at the pace they do and they fucking live for like 100 years perfectly fine just doing so. I get your intentions were good with the turtle, but you murdered the sucker. You do you and try to stay out of other animals business or you probably will end up killing it.

I also thought of Kevin Malone in The Office who runs over a turtle and tries to save it but its already dead. Good intention, Poor execution/ decisions/ gluing skills in Kevin’s case.