Tag Archives: Fight

If You’re Gonna Do Wrestling Moves In A Fight, You Better Have The Pageantry To Sell It

Never in my life was I so amped for something only to be let down. Something any guy envisions is getting into a fight like an absolute bad ass and knocking out fools left and right like a Kung-fu flick. Doing all sorts of crazy shit but definitely doing some variation of a wresting move you saw from the 90’s attitude era. The DDT is absolutely one of them. Just being dropped on your skull onto a chair or the Spanish announcers table. Something that will really leave a dent to prove that you gave your opponent at least a grade 2 concussion but instead we got this sad attempt at a DDT.

What the hell happened? Imagine tossing a basketball up in the air expecting it to bounce when it hits the floor but instead it just laid still. Like on a humanity level I’m glad Red Shirt is fine but learn a little pageantry for me one time dude. Flail around, shoot the legs up as if your spine just went into extreme impact. Instead he rubbed his head as if he bumped it against a kitchen counter. That’s not good enough. The other guy isn’t without blame either. Anyone who knows what the DDT is and sees that flat side front end of a car I guarantee you was expecting to drive his head straight through the engine block. Ultimately despite growing out of the wrestling phase that’s why I still respect the fuck out of WWE stars. You gotta be able to sell baby. Take the bumps take the hits. Electrify the crowd. When the guy put him in a head lock getting ready to shatter this guys skull I expected him to point to the crowd and chant to electrify the audience but nope. Just the worst performed DDT.

Im glad this guy enjoyed it though. My guy here was pumped to see a DDT in a real fight. He gets it.

 

2 Alligators Fighting Is Unbelievably Boring

 

Wildly boring. You would think that 2 primordial beast that look like the most primitive of animals would clash off and make it look like Jurassic Park. Wrong. Most vanilla thing ever. I mean nothing died/ got eaten. What the fuck was the point if one doesn’t get torn to shreds. In fact I’m starting to hate these alligator videos. People just get so mystified by them cause they look like a dinosaur and grow fucking massive. What ever. Size don’t mean shit if it isn’t using it to dominate something. The weaker one just rolled and swam away like it was nothing. Yea it can maim a gazelle and anything else that’s a vegetarian but i want to see a gator fight a gator, loser gets eaten. And also, what the fuck is with all these gators on golf courses. Handle that shit better, put up fences or something. I never played golf but I kinda would like to not pack a shotgun in my golf bag for when I’m trying to avoid landing near a water hazard. Seriously, Golf courses seem to be a breeding ground for alligators.

No One Has Looked More Comfortable Rag Dolling A Guy Than This Alleged Rapist In Baby blue Eeyore Pajama Onsie

What a wild time in Vegas. First off, all those people just walking about like this wasn’t gonna be a prized fight about to go down in typical historic Vegas fashion is crazy. People pay thousands to watch a Mayweather fight live. This was a billion times better. You don’t have the regular stare down between boxers saying the other is going to beat the shit out of the other one. Instead we got people accusing people of being a rapist and the other party claiming he was drugged and that they stripped him of everything. Pacquiao never had any of that go down at the press conference. But the fight itself, bananas. First off if you’re gonna bring in a foreign object like a guitar into the mix, you gotta swing that thing like an Ax. You can’t bring your body half closer to try to gun butt the guy with your guitar with out getting susceptible to hits. And once he made that mistake it was pretty much over for him. But you know what was the absolute knock out? It was when Eeyore mustered ever last bit of strength he had to lift him 6 inches off the ground to body slam the guy into a coma. By far some of the weakest, yet thrilling match ups I’ve ever seen in a fight. Kind of need Jim Lampley calling this fight and Larry Merchant interviewing the pajama onsies guy afterward and ask him if he did in fact rape that girl. I mean we dont even need to get into the fact that the guy is in fact wearing a Baby blue Eeyore onsies pajama suit. Thats just Vegas being Vegas.

P.s- The guitar gun butt thing, thats one thing that always frustrated the shit out of me back then watching WWF. Always a feeling of being cheapened out when Triple H would pull out the sledge hammer and half over it with his hand and just ding the guys head with it. Thats no way to use a sledge hammer. I know it’s just entertainment but I wanted him to drop the hammer on mother fuckers like he was chopping wood with it. Obviously it would be manslaughter if he did that but if you’re gonna throw a sledge hammer into the mix then you kind of have to use it that way. At least use it to pound Kurt Angle’s ankles into dust.

If You Chose To Call Yourself “Satan’s Son” Right Before A Fight, It’ll Probably Hurt Your Street Cred The Second You Get Knocked Out

Pure intimidation tactics. Classic move from a white guy. You gotta act crazy enough to the point where the guy might just leave. Like the episode in Hey Arnold where him and Harold are about to fight and instead Arnold runs around singing and dancing like a lunatic. Just get loco. That was the move this slender white guy was going for. He had the height advantage. Get close enough to him and stare him down and establish dominance, then you lay the cards on the table. Let him know you’re some satanic mother fucker. Only problem is this guy didn’t give a fuck about Satan and was also much stronger and  had faster hands than Satan’s son. Kinda should have those abilities to back up your credibility as being the son of Lucifer. Now you’re just kind of  a guy laying on the floor who got knocked out faster than Ronda Rousey. And I’m not gonna lie. I’m impressed by the black dude being able to go 0 to 100 back down to 0 in seconds. None of that stare down over the dead corpse and say shit move. Guy literally charged up in a nano second, delivered 1 Knock out punch, and then was calm enough to casually look back at the dude snoozing.

P.s- If a black guy said he was the devil’s son I would be terrified but also id bring up Big L and hope he would think I’m cool enough so that he wont punch my shit in.

When Sucker Punching Goes Wrong……

Jun-26-2016 14-41-45

Dude Gets His Azz Beat after Sucker Punching the Wrong One

^^LINK TO VIDEO^^

Really nothing this kid can do. You took your shot and you missed/did about as much damage as a fly landing on that guys face. You can tell when he looked over to the left for help he was absolutely helpless. ” Help Guys! The quick sucker punch didn’t work, what do I do now?!?!?!” I will say though, that guy’s left jaw might’ve been a cement block but once he was on the floor ,although still kinda winning the fight, didn’t have much behind those punches. Yea the sucker punch kid didn’t have any juice what so ever clearly but them both grappling on the ground was probably the guys best strategy to surviving. Take him to the floor as fast as possible and try to save some face and pray someone jumps in to stop it because as soon as he gets up he’s molly whopping your ass for apparently being a pussy and sucker punching. Let this be a lesson to ya, If you wear skinny jeans and your arms are tooth picks, don’t go throwing sucker punches or else his face will eat it, you’re gonna look like a pussy, and then you’re gonna get abused.

Bully Gets Rocked And Gets Tossed Into A Textbook Perfect Arm bar

 

Smh. Kids these days not learning. Trying to pick a random ass fight even though theres a 50/50 chance you will get your ass beat and put online for the world to see. Well youngster better have learned quick. I mean this wasn’t even a fight if we’re being honest. It was more of one of those military sparring training’s on how to take out a guy trying to murder you so you gotta murder him back. It was just his ass getting taken to school inside of the school. Its school-ception. Throw up the dukes and next thing you know before you can take a breath you get a hard right and before you’re brain can recover you get a left foot to the temple, get your ass rag dolled to the ground getting fist rained down on you and you only made it worse by trying to get up cause next thing you know you’re locked in an arm bar with your joints being stretched until the your arm can fold backwards. There really was no answer to any of that because that kid who won, for all I know, is about as versed in fighting as a military personnel with those moves. So just don’t go picking fights, or if you do, know that it will end up online so you better put your best foot forward and try not to look like a complete asshole for starting a fight and end up tapping out. Also, in 10 years their spines are gonna be fucked from wearing a backpacks that hang below their knees. Everyone loses.

For real though, that arm bar move was so legit.

Apparently The Guy Who Mollywhopped His Uber Driver Was A Taco Bell Exec.

(NEWSER) – Former Taco Bell executive Benjamin Golden has been barred from ever using Uber again, but that could be the least of his problems. The 32-year-old, who was fired after video of him allegedly assaulting an Uber driver went viral, now faces charges of assault and battery, assault on public transportation property, and battery on a public transit employee with injury, reports CNBC. He was charged with misdemeanor assault and public intoxication after the incident on Friday in Costa Mesa, Calif., and prosecutors in Orange County say the video taken by driver Edward Caban helped them decide that the new charges could be proven beyond a reasonable doubt. An Uber spokeswoman says Golden—who can be seen in the video slapping and punching Caban after the driver decides Golden is too drunk to give directions and asks him to leave the car—has been permanently barred from the service, the Los Angeles Times reports. Golden, who could face up to a year in prison and a fine of up to $20,000, will be arraigned Nov. 17, reports the OC Register. CNBC reports that Golden spent a few days in jail in Kentucky in 2012 after pleading guilty to operating a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol.

(NEWSER) – Former Taco Bell executive Benjamin Golden has been barred from ever using Uber again, but that could be the least of his problems. The 32-year-old, who was fired after video of him allegedly assaulting an Uber driver went viral, now faces charges of assault and battery, assault on public transportation property, and battery on a public transit employee with injury, reports CNBC. He was charged with misdemeanor assault and public intoxication after the incident on Friday in Costa Mesa, Calif., and prosecutors in Orange County say the video taken by driver Edward Caban helped them decide that the new charges could be proven beyond a reasonable doubt.
An Uber spokeswoman says Golden—who can be seen in the video slapping and punching Caban after the driver decides Golden is too drunk to give directions and asks him to leave the car—has been permanently barred from the service, the Los Angeles Times reports. Golden, who could face up to a year in prison and a fine of up to $20,000, will be arraigned Nov. 17, reports the OC Register. CNBC reports that Golden spent a few days in jail in Kentucky in 2012 after pleading guilty to operating a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol.

Well this makes me hate the Uber driver even more. When you hear executive you think some suit and tie who takes Lincoln town cars all over the place drinking premium liquors. Not Benjamin Golden. Dude’s just an average time taking shots of tequila getting blasted and taking ubers like regular people minus the whole being an executive of a well established, delicious fast food taco chain. Plus he ain’t like some old dude either. Just a regular bro who’s strong enough to whoop your ass form the back seat and walk away from getting maced after. I said it last time and ill say it again, It was a bad move on the Uber drivers part. You’re suppose to drive around drunk assholes, that’s the point of Uber. Guy did the responsible thing and not drink and drive, but instead you maced his drunk ass and just turned down service to a millionaire probably.