Well this makes me hate the Uber driver even more. When you hear executive you think some suit and tie who takes Lincoln town cars all over the place drinking premium liquors. Not Benjamin Golden. Dude’s just an average time taking shots of tequila getting blasted and taking ubers like regular people minus the whole being an executive of a well established, delicious fast food taco chain. Plus he ain’t like some old dude either. Just a regular bro who’s strong enough to whoop your ass form the back seat and walk away from getting maced after. I said it last time and ill say it again, It was a bad move on the Uber drivers part. You’re suppose to drive around drunk assholes, that’s the point of Uber. Guy did the responsible thing and not drink and drive, but instead you maced his drunk ass and just turned down service to a millionaire probably.
Now no one obviously wants to deal with a bully. Sure it sucks that you got your brain rattled by a punch to the side of the head and got your hair nearly ripped from your skull. It sucks. But what also sucks is being so drunk you cant sit up straight and then getting abandoned in the middle of no where when all you want to do is get home and eat left over pizza or to a chicks place so you can try to finger her long enough till your dick wears off the booze. That REALLY sucks. I mean not like this is the best Uber driver ever either where he doesn’t deserve this kind of thing. Fucking doing tokyo drift moves on that u-turn and cant drive to fucking Park Newport. Thats all he needed to go is Park Newport. And no music bumping through the aux cord? I dont know how uber driver ratings work because we drive our selves here but id give him the equivalent to an F.
Also I gotta imagine this should be a good thing for the Uber driver right? Guys not giving you clear directions because he’s hammered so you just let the tab run into the billions and at the end of the trip tell him you charged him a million dollars because he kept saying go east instead of west or something. Like I think that was the whole platform for uber is keep drunk people from driving and charging them hundreds because they can’t speak right. Its a pretty good platform until you end up having to mace someone I guess.
P.s- My dirty little secret is i actually failed my first driving test. It was such a bullshit reason. It was at the DMV in Oakland park. It was basically entrapment. Guy wanted me to fail. I never told anyone about it, but it eats away at me sometimes when I think about the DMV.
The whole time the exam dude was giving me the look like “is he gonna fail it? I bet he’s gonna fail it” but i had no idea so i just did my thing, everything went smoothly. Nailed the 3 point turn. They don’t make you parallel park or anything. But as I turn to go up that road with the median, he’s looking over at me being all coy and shit. See what that fuck didn’t tell me was that one lane was actually 2 lanes even though there’s no dotted line or arrows to even kinda let you know its 2 lanes to turn in 2 directions. I thought it was one. Right as i turn i hear him go “Ohhh yea im sorry i can’t let you pass this exam… You see buddy, that was actually two lanes and you were driving in the middle the entire time” and he said it was a fucking smile on his face. I didn’t even bother arguing it with the guy that there was no lines indicating that it was two lanes or anywhere that said it was two because i was so taken aback by how much this guy wanted to trick me into failing. They start off all buddy buddy with you and the next thing you know they’re smiling like the devil failing and emasculating you by denying you’re drivers license. I think i told all my friends i nailed it in one shot but the truth burns inside me to the point where I hope the DMV instructor dies.