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The Concept Art For The New Power Ranger’s Alpha 5 Looks Awful

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Up until today, Lionsgate’s feature film take on the Power Rangers franchise was doing a remarkably (and surprisingly) good job of selling me on their vision. The director and the young cast of the title heroes may be relative unknowns to the wider moviegoing audience, but recruiting Elizabeth Banks as the villainous Rita Repulsa, Bryan Cranston as the heroic leader Zordon, and Bill Hader as the voice of robotic assistant Alpha 5 were smart, strategic moves. The biggest surprise for me so far was the fact that I actually like the redesigns for the Rangers’ battle suits and the metallic-yet-sexy design of Banks’ villainess. So far, we’ve only glimpsed the fighting machines known as Zords in character posters (for my money, the toy images don’t count). Everything we’ve seen looks pretty good. And then, today, the concept art for Alpha 5 was released. It’s … disconcerting. Alpha 5 has always had a bit of a strange design what with his flying-saucer-shaped head, lightning bolt chest icon, and his built-in CD drive, but man did they go for broke with this new look. And not in a good way. Now it’s worth mentioning that what you’re about to see is just concept art; there’s a good chance the final character won’t look quite this bizarre. There’s also a chance that the main design will stick and the finished product will look better once it’s in motion. Hader’s voice work can certainly save this train wreck, but I for one am hoping that some design changes and tweaks are coming in advance of the film’s March 24, 2017 release date.

Collider– Up until today, Lionsgate’s feature film take on the Power Rangers franchise was doing a remarkably (and surprisingly) good job of selling me on their vision. The director and the young cast of the title heroes may be relative unknowns to the wider moviegoing audience, but recruiting Elizabeth Banks as the villainous Rita Repulsa, Bryan Cranston as the heroic leader Zordon, and Bill Hader as the voice of robotic assistant Alpha 5 were smart, strategic moves. The biggest surprise for me so far was the fact that I actually like the redesigns for the Rangers’ battle suits and the metallic-yet-sexy design of Banks’ villainess. So far, we’ve only glimpsed the fighting machines known as Zords in character posters (for my money, the toy images don’t count). Everything we’ve seen looks pretty good.
And then, today, the concept art for Alpha 5 was released. It’s … disconcerting. Alpha 5 has always had a bit of a strange design what with his flying-saucer-shaped head, lightning bolt chest icon, and his built-in CD drive, but man did they go for broke with this new look. And not in a good way. Now it’s worth mentioning that what you’re about to see is just concept art; there’s a good chance the final character won’t look quite this bizarre. There’s also a chance that the main design will stick and the finished product will look better once it’s in motion. Hader’s voice work can certainly save this train wreck, but I for one am hoping that some design changes and tweaks are coming in advance of the film’s March 24, 2017 release date.

I have no respect for this robot alien. None what so ever. That’s not my fault, it’s theirs. They made this thing look like a mentally challenged robot. In all honesty though I think Power Rangers are one of those things that were cool growing up. Sure everyone wanted to be Jason the Red Ranger or Tommy and we all wanted to see Kimberly get F’d by either one of the two. Everyone called Billy the nerd. We all had a blast watching the show growing up. But with age, I think Power Rangers are one of those things that should fall by the way side. The movie looks like its going to be lame as shit. And not saying Alpha 5 was the linchpin that made the show great, but this rendition of the robot just looks like garbage. Too CGI. Too Alien with Robot, should just be one of the other. Just don’t respect this robot. Sure the original spaz of a blender sucked too, but I respected him. So far this one I want to stuff into a locker. Only thing left is to see what Zordon looks like. Bryan Cranston who the world fell in love with from Breaking Bad. Only thing keeping me attached to this. Personally i think Vincent D’Onofrio looks more like the original Zordon but who knows, Maybe Walter White can pull it off and save this movie (He won’t but he’ll probably be great)

Rating These 12 Vintage Sandwiches

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MentalFloss- The sandwich, a.k.a. foodstuff delivered inside a bread vehicle, is a timeless classic. The formula is open to endless interpretations, like lobster rolls, deep-fried Fluffernutter sandwiches, and donut grilled cheeses. In 1909, diners were arguably more creative with what they put between two slices of bread than they are today. The Up-To-Date Sandwich Book: 400 Ways to Make a Sandwich breaks the sandwich down into its seven main categories: fish, egg, salad, meat, cheese, nut, and sweet. No matter what you choose for filling, the turn-of-the-century publication emphasizes the importance of starting with good bread. A product “at least one day old” is preferred.

MentalFloss– The sandwich, a.k.a. foodstuff delivered inside a bread vehicle, is a timeless classic. The formula is open to endless interpretations, like lobster rolls, deep-fried Fluffernutter sandwiches, and donut grilled cheeses. In 1909, diners were arguably more creative with what they put between two slices of bread than they are today. The Up-To-Date Sandwich Book: 400 Ways to Make a Sandwich breaks the sandwich down into its seven main categories: fish, egg, salad, meat, cheese, nut, and sweet. No matter what you choose for filling, the turn-of-the-century publication emphasizes the importance of starting with good bread. A product “at least one day old” is preferred.

MentalFloss is one of those twitter accounts that I assume everyone follows. I follow it to get a tid bit of information because I am a man that likes to be cultured and learn useless facts such as this one presented today. 12 sandwiches that people back then use to make. Now normally I take information in and go on about my day, but as a food guy, and a sandwich guy, these piqued my interest. Why? because for the most part they SUCK.

1. APPLE AND GRAPE SANDWICH

A sandwich can be so many things—a snack, a dessert, a weird salad you eat with your hands. This dish is a great example of all of the above. Start by chopping up apple, celery, and white grapes and toss the ingredients together with French dressing. Spread your mixture on thin slices of buttered white bread to make your sandwich.

 Fucking early 1900’s man. Everyone says it would be cool to time travel. “The food would be so
cheap! It cost 5 cents for a hamburger!” Yea, that’s if your lucky to find a place that has the brains to put meat in bread. Instead this is what happens. They put fruits in between bread and call it a day. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve gone to fancy high end sandwich shops that use a cheese that i can’t pronounce as opposed to good ol American cheese. Occasionally they’ll put cranberries or something to just elevate the taste of a sandwich but this is something else entirely. This is a decent combination of fruits, apple and grapes, mixed with fucking celery of all things. Awful. I don’t know which one French dressing is either but either way, throwing celery in makes it an automatic F.

2. OYSTER SANDWICH

Like oysters on the half-shell, the shellfish in this sandwich are garnished simply with oil, lemon juice, and Tabasco sauce. Mix together these ingredients with finely chopped raw oysters and serve on thinly-sliced white bread—add a lettuce leaf for some extra crunch.

An upscale white people version of the New Orleans oyster Po’boy except not as good because it’s not deep fried. One fall i went through a phase where i would just get a loaf of bread and cans of smoked oysters and just eat that for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Weird? Yes. Poor, The poorest. But it wasn’t half bad. Now I like oysters on the half shell. It makes me feel like I’m doing fancy white people things. Just by itself it’s good. Don’t know how i feel about it on a cold sandwich though. I’m fine with eating something thats similar to throwing back a giant wet booger with some cocktail sauce by itself, on a sandwich is kinda weird. C+ because maybe it’s classy?

3. HOT HAM NUMBER TWO

The book’s second take on a hot ham sandwich is reminiscent of a Monte Cristo. After spreading minced ham onto buttered bread, assemble the sandwiches and cut them into triangles. Dip the sandwich points into a mixture of beaten eggs, milk, and salt and cook them up on a hot griddle. Once the sandwiches have been fried French toast-style, serve with a slice of roasted tomato.

Now we’re talking. A sandwich I would actually eat and a sandwich that’s actually a sandwich cause it has deli meats. Give me a nice Boars Head maple glazed ham on a nice tasty sandwich. I dont know abotu the minced part and sure it doesn’t have a nice provolone or muenster cheese i would like but a nice buttered bread and ham makes it in good standing in my books. Not to mention is hot and seasoned on a griddle so it has a nice texture to it. B+ I kind of want one right now.

4. LEMON SANDWICH

Not many recipes feature whole lemon slices as the star ingredient. After removing the rind from the slices, dust them with powdered sugar and stack between buttered slices of white bread that have been cut into circles. A candied cherry on top will hopefully help to reduce the pucker-factor.

F–. A pirate with scurvy wouldn’t eat this. A Lemon sandwich? A citrus fruit and bread? with butter? F—

5. DAIRY SANDWICH

The dairy sandwich stays true to its name: The simple recipe asks you to spread fresh butter onto thin slices of Swiss and press the cheese together. There’s no mention of bread, suggesting this is literally meant to be a butter sandwich served between two slices of cheese. Unfortunately for sandwich purists, the protein-in-place-of-bread-theme has only gained traction in the last 100 years.

I’m not gonna blame these 1900’s people here because they didn’t know any better and things were being discovered in the world. I like just eating slices of cheese. My dog does too. But that’s because of a lack of bread or any thing else I can use to make a sandwich. Not to mention I hate swiss. I also don’t butter cheese because that’s a psychopath move. This is not a sandwich because this is just cheese slices with more fat in it. This gets disqualified. (D+ though if i had to grade it)

6. LOBSTER AND CAVIAR SANDWICH

Sandwiches aren’t typically associated with fine dining, but even luxurious ingredients like lobster and caviar can shine between bread. For this recipe, spread caviar onto lightly buttered bread and sprinkle with lemon juice. Spoon minced lobster meat on top and cover with the second slice of bread. Serve over a lettuce leaf—ideally on the beach with some chilled wine to wash it down.

A lobster roll before lobster roll. I can dig it. I personally never have had caviar but rich white people have it so it’s good. And lobster I think has always been for rich people so I’m gonna give it a B. Something you can’t have too often because I’d get sick of lobster sandwiches but on a beach with boat shoes on with a glass of white wine. I fuck with it. B.

7. OLIVE AND NUT SANDWICH

Unlike peanut and jelly, olive and nut never caught on as a popular pairing. This recipe calls for sandwich builders to finely chop olives with English walnuts and combine the ingredients together with mayonnaise. Served on buttered brown bread, the mixture makes for a light sandwich that’s big on texture.

I hate olives. I’m not a fan of walnuts. Probably hate English walnuts. Would I ever eat any of those two ingredients with mayo? no. Altogether? no. I also prefer my sandwiches on white bread. So If I were offered all three of these things put together in sandwich form do you think I’d eat it? Fuck no. D-. And that’s me being generous because I would probably spit out everything and just eat mayo and wheat bread if I had to because I was poor or something.

8. FARMER SANDWICH

Pork chops and applesauce are commonly seen together on the dinner plate. Here they come together on a sandwich to make a savory-sweet lunch item. You can put this one together by layering thinly sliced cold, roast pork onto white bread and topping it with applesauce. Cap it with the second slice of bread and dig in.

Finally a hardy working man’s sandwich. Not just a deli meat or anything stupid like a cantaloupe or what ever these idiots back in the 1900’s would put in sandwiches. Man’s meat, pork. Roasted pork none the less. Meat between bread. Something to get the bread moist and the composition of pork chops and apple sauce is a time honored classic (even though I never had it because I’m not a white family who made that). Something to give you strength to work in the field or watch tv. It’s an A.

9. TOMATO AND HORSERADISH SANDWICH

Here’s another curious food combination that’s failed to stand the test of time. To assemble a tomato and horseradish sandwich, start by sprinkling thin tomato slices with salt. Combine a half cup of horseradish with two tablespoons of mayonnaise and spread the mixture onto pieces of buttered white bread. Place the tomato slices between the bread and enjoy your meal while clearing out your sinuses at the same time.

Poor. I also don’t know if i actually like horseradish because I’m not sure I had it but this is poor and I’m glad this never caught on. F

10. CALF’S LIVER AND BACON SANDWICH

If you’re not a fan of calf’s liver, perhaps the addition of bacon will change your perspective. Take the well-done liver and chop it up fine with crisp slices of bacon. Season with salt, pepper, and ketchup and serve with a lettuce leaf between buttered graham or white bread.

Some people like liver. Me personally I don’t think I do. Never had calf’s liver but in times of hunger and despair I’ll pretend it’s steak. And as much as I think it’s over rated. I do like bacon. a nice crisp salt savory slices of bacon. This will probably just be the worse Hamburger I’ve tasted but probably still tolerable. C+/B- depending on if liver taste good or not.

11. EASTER SANDWICH

Whether or not you make it for Easter, this recipe should be saved for special occasions. Dip a crisp lettuce leaf in mayonnaise and lay that on a slice of buttered white bread. Fill the lettuce with slices of cold hard-boiled egg and sprinkle with salt and pepper. After the sandwich has been cut into squares, tie them up with “lavender baby ribbon” and present your guests with the world’s most adorable finger food—just remind them to remove the ribbon before taking a bite.

I don’t know what it is but the way they discribe buttering things and the dosages of mayo just seem to weird me out a bit. Taking a giant leaf of romaine and scooping out a Marshall Eriksen family size amount of mayo just sounds heart clogging. Assuming its just a nice thin spread than this is amounts to an egg salad sandwich. Wouldn’t eat it in the winter but in the spring or summer if i were at a fancy garden party then maybe i would give it a while. B+

12. ASPIC JELLY SANDWICH

No list of early 20th century recipes would be complete without aspic. This retro delicacy is made by mixing gelatin and meat stock to create a savory JELLO mold. To prepare it for a sandwich, soak two ounces of gelatin in one cup of chicken stock until soft. Pour in three more cups of chicken stock that have been seasoned with cloves, parsley, celery, mace, salt, and pepper. Strain the liquid into a dish and mix in shredded chicken before refrigerating. Once the gelatin has set, cut it into “fancy shapes” and serve on buttered wheat bread.

Meat flavored jello with chicken and cloves and shit floating in free fall within a jello mold. In between bread too? F

 

Well there you have it folks. 12 weird ass sandwiches. Probably 2 or 3 I would actually eat. I know of kids from back in the day named the Cooks, apparently they would just eat ketchup and bread sandwiches. Fucking weird birds. Go do yourself a favor and go to Publix and get one of the many variety of sandwiches they can make for you. They do decent Philly cheeses. Chicken Cordon Bleu. Sometimes I like to go ethnic and get a Bahn Mi sub from a Vietnamese place. Grilled pork, no peppers. Frankly any modern day sandwich is better than the shit they were cooking up in the 1900s. Can’t envision that was the time period the sexist phrase “Go in the kitchen and make me a sandwich” started since all of them were trash.

Surprise Surprise Cupcakes Decorated With Swastikas Aren’t Acceptable For 14 Year Old Jewish Girls Birthday

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PARADISE VALLEY, Ariz. - Sweet treats at a Jewish teen's birthday party in Paradise Valley turned into an offensive message after young party goers decided to decorate their cupcakes with swastika symbols. Pictures of the swastika topping began spreading on social media after the teen's mom posted about what happened on Facebook, writing that she hoped it could be used as a teaching moment for parents. According to the post the girls are all friends and told the Jewish teen's mom they did it to “be funny." The teen's mother also posted that her daughter and the girls at the party had just had a lesson on the holocaust, so she believed they knew very well what the symbol meant. Carlos Galindo-Elvira, the director of the Anti-Defamation League in Arizona says parents need to teach their children about the meaning symbols tied to acts of hate like the swastika. "When you joke with symbols like the swastika you begin to normalize them and make it very casual within our society,” Galindo Elvira told 12 News. In an update posted online the mother said the girls had apologized and that their parents had spoken with them about the severity of using symbols like the swastika. Galindo-Elvira hopes other parents can use the incident as a chance to do the same.

PARADISE VALLEY, Ariz. – Sweet treats at a Jewish teen’s birthday party in Paradise Valley turned into an offensive message after young party goers decided to decorate their cupcakes with swastika symbols.
Pictures of the swastika topping began spreading on social media after the teen’s mom posted about what happened on Facebook, writing that she hoped it could be used as a teaching moment for parents.
According to the post the girls are all friends and told the Jewish teen’s mom they did it to “be funny.”
The teen’s mother also posted that her daughter and the girls at the party had just had a lesson on the holocaust, so she believed they knew very well what the symbol meant.
Carlos Galindo-Elvira, the director of the Anti-Defamation League in Arizona says parents need to teach their children about the meaning symbols tied to acts of hate like the swastika.
“When you joke with symbols like the swastika you begin to normalize them and make it very casual within our society,” Galindo Elvira told 12 News.
In an update posted online the mother said the girls had apologized and that their parents had spoken with them about the severity of using symbols like the swastika.
Galindo-Elvira hopes other parents can use the incident as a chance to do the same.

No bigger social faux pas than ruining a party with racial themed party foods or anything culturally relating to mass genocide. These girls are young so let this be a learning experience.  When you go to someones event in celebration that they lived and grew another year older, another year wiser, It can be a real damper to give her a cupcake with a symbol that marked the murder of probably all ancestors before her grandma and grandpa. Gotta get that lesson out of the way so next time she’s not the one at the Halloween party dressed up as the Twin Towers on fire or dressed up as a Boston Marathon bombing victim. Because believe it or not, we don’t have 14 year olds pulling these moves that probably know is a sure fired way to get backlash and kill the life of the party, but we have somewhat college educated biddies that do that shit too. People that understand social stigmas and some how think its a totally killer idea to pull stunts like this. Crazy I know but it happens.

P.s- for what it’s worth, I still would’ve eaten that cupcake.

Gas Station Clerk Steals A Thousand Dollars Worth In Scratch Offs. Probably Could’ve Gotten Away With It If She Wasn’t Such A Chump

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PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. (AP) — A Florida gas station clerk is accused of stealing $1,000 worth of scratch-off lottery tickets. The Palm Beach Post reports 22-year-old Christina Marie Beyersdorf was arrested Monday after her manager at the Speedway station reported the theft. The Florida Lottery tickets cost $25 each. Port St. Lucie police say she took 40 $10 Million Fortune lottery tickets on Sunday morning. According to police, the theft was caught on surveillance video. After the manager confronted her, Beyersdorf agreed to return the tickets. Two had been scratched off but neither were winners. Beyersdorf was released from jail Monday on a $3,750 bond. Records don’t indicate whether she’s hired a lawyer.

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. (AP) — A Florida gas station clerk is accused of stealing $1,000 worth of scratch-off lottery tickets.
The Palm Beach Post reports 22-year-old Christina Marie Beyersdorf was arrested Monday after her manager at the Speedway station reported the theft. The Florida Lottery tickets cost $25 each.
Port St. Lucie police say she took 40 $10 Million Fortune lottery tickets on Sunday morning. According to police, the theft was caught on surveillance video. After the manager confronted her, Beyersdorf agreed to return the tickets. Two had been scratched off but neither were winners.
Beyersdorf was released from jail Monday on a $3,750 bond. Records don’t indicate whether she’s hired a lawyer.

I can’t blame Christina Marie Beyersdorf here. How boring must it be to be a gas station clerk. This is something I’ve thought long and hard. Not because I’m not talented enough to be anything but a gas station clerk (maybe), but because I stop by gas stations all the time to get snacks and shit and I strategically pick ones that are somewhat nice, the clerk doesn’t look like he’s writing a suicide note ready to kill himself, and has a variety of stuff I like. Well every time I go up to pay none of the cashier people are overly excited to be there. Its a 9 to 5 just like everyone else. So putting myself in that situation i would just tug that roll of scratch offs and go at it til that scratch off dust builds up like a snow mountain. Seriously I love scratch offs.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BM5WKgXDCOA/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BIMEP_FjwYX/

 

Was on vacation 2 weeks ago. Didn’t do anything but stay in a cabin breathing fresh air overlooking the Blue Ridge Mountains with 100 bucks of scratch offs in hands scratching away. That was on my own volition. Now picture if you had nothing to do turning on gas pumps with potentially a million dollars staring at my face. Especially since she played the big boy rolls. Not those god damn 2 dollar Electric 8’s like i play. She definitely cashed out at some point. Which begs the question, why doesn’t she just pay off the scratch offs with her winnings right? I mean 40 25 dollar tickets, she had to win over a grand. Convinced of it. That’s like half the roll. Dumb move on her part only scratching 2 and giving herself up like a chump. Probably had enough to pay off the amount of tickets and wet all her family and friends beak. Convinced of it.

The Panthers Fired Head Coach Gerard Gallant After Tonight’s 3-2 Lose to Carolina

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https://twitter.com/RealKyper/status/803058587354341376

https://twitter.com/RealKyper/status/803064596101668865

Shocking. No one saw this one coming besides everyone in the front office apparently. It doesn’t seem that crazy in perspective considering the record this season so far after coming off of a division title last season compared to whats happened this season. There are a litany of injuries that you could chalk up as the reason for the current record (11-10-1).  As of now, Tom Rowe, the guy who fired Gallant is taking his role as Interim Head Coach. Odd right? It’s a mess. We’re being called a laughing stock again and its making me hurt in a mental way. Vinnie Viola is getting torn to shreds for being a non hockey guy firing a hockey guy. Gallant by all accounts is a good guy according to everyone and my personal opinion included. I don’t hand those out all willy nilly. I seriously hope for the best for Gallant. Maybe he enjoys life as the 1st ever Head Coach of the Vegas Golden Knights? Lord knows according to a large large sentiment of Panthers and Hockey fans in general are hoping he “Coaches for Vegas and comes back and kicks Florida’s Ass!”Listen I liked the guy as HC too but I don’t share the exact same sentiment because i still want this team to win a cup so I’ll just hope he has a great season as the HC for Vegas and wins like a relatively large amount of cash playing the slots at Ceasars. The only other sentiment that’s being shared on the web is that the Islanders should fire Capuano to show accountability. It’s crazy because I have to have blind faith in an ex-military personnel to run a Hockey team but at some points during this season I have had moments thinking this team was just too damn talented to be where they were right now. Probably wont help immediately since the team liked Gallant and now there’s a growing sentiment that the players are disagreeing with management. So here’s to hoping we beat Chicago on Tuesday and some how trend upward and make a play off spot and hope these photos of Gerard Gallant waiting for a cab outside PNC won’t come back to haunt me Lane Kiffen style

Did Bill Murray Give A Ticket To Game 6 Away To A Stranger Because He’s Nice OR Does He Have No Friends Cause He’s An Asshole

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One critical step in living a very Bill Murray life? Random acts of kindness. Per MLB.com, during last night's Game 6 of the World Series in Cleveland, baseball fanatic Murray gave a Chicago Cubs fan a free ticket, which just so happened to be right next to him in the luxurious box section behind home plate. Karen Michel, a lifelong Cubbies fan, explained that she initially tried to acquire a ticket at the Progressive Field box office, but when that proved unsuccessful, she spotted Murray walking into the stadium and decided to follow him out of intrigue. "He turns around and says, 'Here, here's a ticket,'" Michel told MLB. "And he kind of shuttled me into the door. I thought it was just a ticket to get in. But it was a ticket to sit right here." The duo spent the duration of the game chatting and getting to know each other, and the Cubs ended up clinching an impressive 9–3 win. And there you have it, more proof that Bill Murray is a good-luck charm for both the Chicago Cubs and Chicago Cubs fans everywhere.

Vulture- One critical step in living a very Bill Murray life? Random acts of kindness. Per MLB.com, during last night’s Game 6 of the World Series in Cleveland, baseball fanatic Murray gave a Chicago Cubs fan a free ticket, which just so happened to be right next to him in the luxurious box section behind home plate. Karen Michel, a lifelong Cubbies fan, explained that she initially tried to acquire a ticket at the Progressive Field box office, but when that proved unsuccessful, she spotted Murray walking into the stadium and decided to follow him out of intrigue. “He turns around and says, ‘Here, here’s a ticket,'” Michel told MLB. “And he kind of shuttled me into the door. I thought it was just a ticket to get in. But it was a ticket to sit right here.” The duo spent the duration of the game chatting and getting to know each other, and the Cubs ended up clinching an impressive 9–3 win. And there you have it, more proof that Bill Murray is a good-luck charm for both the Chicago Cubs and Chicago Cubs fans everywhere.

OMG Bill Murray! He’s soooo nice! So Awesome! He’s Hilarious!!!

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Bill Murray is an asshole and can suck my dick. I’m convinced the notion that Bill Murray is great is just a fucking dumb meme created by the Chive, perpetuated by Buzzfeed, and fed to all you god damn sheeps on the internet. “It’s Bill Fucking Murray!” Who the fuck cares? Have you people not takin a walk down any ritzy street in any big city? Celebrities all over the joint. What cause he has some sort of cult classic lore to him? No one’s cumming their pants and saying “It’s Rick Fucking Moranis.” Bill Murray is a walking drama queen. Always gets into fights and arguments with other actors and shit so much I’d hate to work with the guy. And then there’s those dumb ass stories about him stealing french fries off a kids plate and saying “No one will ever believe you.” “OMG guys! That’s so funny! He stole food and surprised the kid!” Fuck that guy. If you support that kind of behavior then you’re enabling an asshole and a thief. Does the guy do nice things? Probably. I’m just judging him off of less than 1% of his life experience. But Between him getting into arguments on set, him stealing peoples food and thinking he’s above them, I’m gonna draw a conclusion that doesn’t seem to crazy. He’s an asshole with no friends that can tolerate him enough to attend GAME SIX of the WORLD SERIES. An event that’s historic as fuck considering the two teams playing for history. So yea, go ahead I’m sure he’s not like hitler. He’s probably nice enough to us common folk, minus the time he was a thief stealing food off of a kids plate, but I, for one, will never buy it. Part of me wants to see the cubs lose in heart breaking fashion with a camera right on his face. Would bring pure bliss to me.

Azalea The Female Chimp Who Smokes A Pack A Day Is All The Rage In Pyongyang Zoo

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PYONGYANG, North Korea (AP) — Pyongyang’s newly opened zoo has a new star: Azalea, the smoking chimpanzee. According to officials at the newly renovated zoo, which has become a favorite leisure spot in the North Korean capital since it re-opened in July, the 19-year-old female chimpanzee, whose name in Korean is “Dallae,” smokes about a pack a day. Dallae is short for azalea. They insist, however, she doesn’t inhale. Thrown a lighter by a zoo trainer, the chimpanzee lights her own cigarettes. If a lighter isn’t available, she can light up from lit cigarette if one is tossed her way. Though such a sight would draw outrage in many other locales, it seemed to delight visitors who roared with laughter on Wednesday as the chimpanzee, one of two at the zoo, sat puffing away as her trainer egged her on. The trainer also prompted her to touch her nose, bow thank you and do a simple dance. The zoo is pulling in thousands of visitors a day with a slew of attractions ranging from such typical fare as elephants, giraffes, penguins and monkeys to a high-tech natural history museum with displays showing the origins of the solar system and the evolution of life on Earth. Another of the most popular attractions that might come as a surprise to foreign visitors is the dog pavilion, which has everything from German shepherds to Shih Tzus. The zoo also has performances featuring other animals trained to do tricks, including a monkey that slam dunks basketballs, dogs trained to appear as though they can do addition on subtraction on an abacus and doves that fly around and land on a woman skating on an indoor stage. Renovations for the new zoo began in 2014, as part of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un’s efforts to create more modern and impressive structures and leisure centers around the capital. The zoo actually dates back to 1959, when Kim Il Sung, the nation’s first leader and the grandfather of Kim Jong Un, ordered it built on the outskirts of the city. According to its official history, the zoo started off with only 50 badgers.

PYONGYANG, North Korea (AP) — Pyongyang’s newly opened zoo has a new star: Azalea, the smoking chimpanzee.
According to officials at the newly renovated zoo, which has become a favorite leisure spot in the North Korean capital since it re-opened in July, the 19-year-old female chimpanzee, whose name in Korean is “Dallae,” smokes about a pack a day. Dallae is short for azalea.
They insist, however, she doesn’t inhale.
Thrown a lighter by a zoo trainer, the chimpanzee lights her own cigarettes. If a lighter isn’t available, she can light up from lit cigarette if one is tossed her way.
Though such a sight would draw outrage in many other locales, it seemed to delight visitors who roared with laughter on Wednesday as the chimpanzee, one of two at the zoo, sat puffing away as her trainer egged her on. The trainer also prompted her to touch her nose, bow thank you and do a simple dance.
The zoo is pulling in thousands of visitors a day with a slew of attractions ranging from such typical fare as elephants, giraffes, penguins and monkeys to a high-tech natural history museum with displays showing the origins of the solar system and the evolution of life on Earth.
Another of the most popular attractions that might come as a surprise to foreign visitors is the dog pavilion, which has everything from German shepherds to Shih Tzus. The zoo also has performances featuring other animals trained to do tricks, including a monkey that slam dunks basketballs, dogs trained to appear as though they can do addition on subtraction on an abacus and doves that fly around and land on a woman skating on an indoor stage.
Renovations for the new zoo began in 2014, as part of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un’s efforts to create more modern and impressive structures and leisure centers around the capital. The zoo actually dates back to 1959, when Kim Il Sung, the nation’s first leader and the grandfather of Kim Jong Un, ordered it built on the outskirts of the city.
According to its official history, the zoo started off with only 50 badgers.

This is the difference between America and other countries. Sick and tired of all the bullshit outrage America starts. Yea I get it, smoking causes lung cancer. We’ll get a million talk shows about the subject and people lobbying congress over it. North Korea on the other hand gives a loosey to a chimp until she becomes a habitual smoker and it becomes all the rage. Their dictator leader might be a sham and may be looming on the start of the next world war but they don’t care to focus on those things when they’re too busy hysterically laughing at Azalea touching her nose and smoking a pack a day.

Compared to the rest of the zoo attraction though, I could see how this is a big hit. You guys see what else they got going on at this zoo? This place SUCKS. We want to see tigers and lions and shit at zoo’s. Beast that we normally can’t see do some primal shit like eat meat. Yea some cute animals is fine and this place has some of that, but this zoo originally started with 50 badgers. What the fuck are we suppose to do with that? That’s like just having a bunch of skunks run around. What else do they have? Just a dog park pretty much. We get to look at dogs at home all the time and we play with them everyday. I want my zoo attractions to be more menacing like a gorilla or a cross bred liger that looks like it can swallow me in one bite. That’s why American Zoos are better. We got all the dopest animals. This zoo honestly sucks balls with out cigarette smoking chimp.

P.s- This chimp, if given a gun, is definitely smart enough to shoot all these people. If it knows how to bum a light off of another lit cigarette, guaranteed it can work a hammer and trigger.

Panthers Fall To Tampa 4-3 In An Overtime Shootout. Trocheck Discovered NHL Equivalent Of The Tuck Rule

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Wild game. Never felt the should be rivalry really but tonight felt like they were playing some playoff level hockey at some points and it’s only game 3. First night for Reimer in net and despite the score being 4-3 lightning, the shot attempts were pretty much down to even on both sides and we’re not exactly playing a lottery team here. It’s potential Stanley Cup favorites we’re talking about and the Panthers could’ve had it end their way if the game was cut short 5 seconds. Had another chance to win it on an empty net earlier but like the previous 60 minutes, Panthers were a little bit too conservative with the puck and decided not to shoot. Tough luck but it’s over and we go back home to get ready for another juggernaut of an opponent in The Capitals.

Things to take away though, Colton Sceviour scored a short handed goal with a feed from D-Mac for his 2nd goal of the season. Trocheck tied us up in the third and Mike Matheson got his 1st NHL goal and really has been making his arrival in the NHL well known and is still learning to be better. Have high hopes on Matheson but so far we like what he brings to the table after the purge of some fan favorites in the D core.

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Of course after that Matheson goal, Stamkos fucked us in the ass by literally burying one with FIVE seconds left. Five seconds away from being on top of The Atlantic and taking the 1st of the I-75 rivalry. What ever. More interestingly though, is young Vinnie Trocheck discovering what is essentially the NHL Overtime equivalent of the Tuck Rule during a little controversial call in a shootout goal.

Banana’s. No one in Florida thought that was a good goal besides Trocheck and who ever was in Toronto making that call. Did Trocheck fumble the puck in a shot attempt? Was Brady tucking the ball back in? Did Charles Woodson sack Trocheck? Sometimes it’s best to let things go their course with out getting in the way. More likely than not Trocheck was trying to swipe the puck in but lost control of it and should’ve ended the game right there. Especially wouldn’t matter since Tampa ended up winning after Ekblad failed in shoot out but who knows man. If Florida goes on to win that game it could’ve sparked some real hatred between the two clubs. Who knows Maybe Trocheck ends up leading this team to 4 rings over a 20 year dynasty reign.

H/T Stephanie @Myregularface and Pete @PeteBlackburn

Screen Rant: The Accountant **Spoilers**

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Boom fresh out of the theaters and still in my brain is a screen rant of this weekend’s highest grossing film, The Accountant. Ben Affleck has had an interesting journey at this point. Been through the highs and lows of Hollywood and might be Tinsel town’s most typical Hollywood actor. Won awards a pair of Oscars, made shit movies like Gigli and Daredevil, been in major blockbusters like Pearl Harbor, evolved into a director and made awesome movies like The Town. Dated actresses and cheated on them with nanny’s. Well now he comes with the movie The Accountant, an action thriller about an idiot savant accountant that handles the money situation for the mob and ends up being a military trained hand to hand combat fighter with a weapon’s cache fit for a small militia including a minigun as his personal home security system and a Barrett 50 cal rifle. Oh yea and someone’s out to kill him because he found out a person a robot company was slowly stealing away like 60+ million dollars.

I’m not gonna pretend to be non-biased here. I’m an Affleck guy. The Town’s one of my favorite go to watches of all time. It’s a modern day Heat. The Accountant off the top of my head i give it a decent solid 7. I don’t need a Daniel Day Lewis magnificent performance or a story written like a Charlie Kaufman film and i don’t really think this movie pretends to be that exactly. I would describe it as an intense version of Jack Reacher mixed with Drive. Action all around with a story trying to have twist and teases, but tries to have funny moments? I didn’t laugh through any of it but I had a decent time watching it. Certain things were predictable but then again was it at all predictable considering no one would expect a person with autism have a kill count and can bench 200lbs. So yea, not the best, but certainly not the worst and I would pay 10 bucks anytime to watch Affleck do some hardcore karate and shoot people any day of the week.

DON’T EVER GIVE CHRISTIAN WOLFF BLUE BALLS

Listen all you playboys and Lothario’s out there. Not all of us are slinging the pipe every second. I’m not saying I don’t try to wet the beak a little from time to time, and I don’t know if strong muscular autistic people get sexual desires but we’re all human and some times after some long talk and hands roaming, if it leads to nothing, you get blue balls. Too much blood rushing to the penis or something. It’s uncomfortable. And sure I can just get it off my mind off it, take a cold shower or even walk it off. Christian Wolff can’t. Something in the chemistry in his brain just sends him into a manic state if he just can’t finish. We all saw it pretty much, him balls deep in numbers on the board fucking those accounting numbers every which way possible. Next thing you know, boom. Some janitor washed away his puzzle piece/metaphorical orgasm and next thing you know he cant get his car parked just right and then he starts clubbing the shit out of his leg (which i didn’t understand from the beginning). Don’t think that was the short term affect either. I mean the company scrubbed his work, he put a bullet in the CEO’s dome. Don’t even try to keep Wolff away from finishing or else it’ll be your death.

DON’T BABY YOUR KIDS, ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE A MENTAL DISABILITY

Millennials and baby millennials these days. We’ve all scoffed at those parents who think their kid shouldn’t play in the sand like us common kids. We all know rubbing Purell sure kills germs but we also always fight back with “It’s killing the good germs too!” Well that’s like a microcosm for what this movie is trying to say here. Just cause your son’s autistic doesn’t mean you should keep him locked in his room playing with a picture puzzle. I’m not trying to pretend to be a doctor, here. If your kid’s entire body is septic yea MAYBE keep him locked up like the bubble boy. But other than that, let your autistic kid roll in the sand and build up those tolerances to germs and shit. Maybe get them to fight a trained martial arts instructor until their cut and bleeding and almost beaten to a pulp too. Just a little advice if you want your nerd savant to be a total bad ass too.

IMDB COMMENTERS

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NEEERRRRRDDDDDDDDDDD. Congrats SunFlowerFortunato, you overpaid to attend business school so you can work at a big accounting firm where you WILL contemplate suicide. Seriously name a douchier thread on IMDB, you can’t.

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See this is one of those reasons why I don’t know if you can say it was predictable or not. Like sure in compliance to the movie i could see where you’re logically piecing things together in accordance to the story, i could see it coming. But then remove yourself a little bit and you can’t honestly think at all a person with autism can become some super soldier and another who can hack into world computers and shit. Banana’s stuff but that’s why you should just see the movie. screen-shot-2016-10-16-at-9-23-15-pm

This feels mean but I don’t believe this guy actually has Asperger’s Syndrome enough to comment on a movie but not just google really fast if this movie has anything to do with autism.screen-shot-2016-10-16-at-9-23-03-pm

This is probably true and the downfall of Lamar Blackburn’s character. Why the fuck would you hand over your whole operation to a living breathing super computer who’s out to look for mistakes in your book keeping when you can just write a check to a bunch of Ivy League schools who have to stay in a cubicle and trying to skate by with out working. His own downfall. screen-shot-2016-10-16-at-9-22-53-pm

Bro its an accountant who cooks the books for the mob. Yea if you took Lau from The Dark Knight and made a movie about him it would only be mildly interesting, but in this case he’s Batman also. screen-shot-2016-10-16-at-9-22-41-pm

Christian Wolff should’ve been an Autistic, Gay, Muscular, Hand to Hand Combat fighter Accountant. It sounds like a mess of a character but it already sounded preposterous with out the gay part so including it might’ve just skated by in the shadows of all his other character.screen-shot-2016-10-16-at-9-21-42-pm

Big win for the nerds and the people with autism. This one’s for you guys and for Messi and Datsyuk, we know you guys are sneaky autistic. screen-shot-2016-10-16-at-9-20-54-pm

He doesn’t need an excel spreadsheet because he IS an excel spreadsheet. Plus if he didn’t write on walls, how else would you recognize his genius. Only genius write on windows. Fact