Cody just wants to catch some waves after his wisdom teeth are pulled.
This fucking guy is just a beautiful soul. I mean just classic typical surfer bro through and through. Cody just has surfing on his mind 24/7 to the point where half his body is steeped in Novocaine and he’d still get on a board and ride the wave. The long blond sun kissed hair, the lingo even though he’s whacked out of his mind, just everything he thinks or does involves surfing. Did you just get teeth ripped from your jaw? Nah Brah, I think i must’ve hit some coral exiting a radical barrel. You don’t need to be able to feel your face to surf, just have to have the passion to be a soul surfer like this guy. There’s just nothing Cody loves more than surfing and his momma.
TOPSHAM, Maine (AP) — Police say a Maine man crashed his SUV into a guardrail on an interstate and then inhaled computer keyboard cleaner in front of the officer who pulled him over. Topsham Sgt. Robert Ramsay tells the Portland Press Herald (http://bit.ly/1JxG2kp) that 44-year-old John Yates was arrested Monday night on Interstate 295 in Topsham. Ramsay says police saw Yates pull into a breakdown lane, then pull out suddenly, almost hitting a tractor-trailer. Police say a slow pursuit ensued until Yates hit a guardrail and crashed into a ditch. Police say Yates then grabbed a canister of keyboard cleaner and began huffing it. Yates faces charges including driving under the influence of drugs. He was being held Wednesday on $1,000 bail and couldn’t be reached for comment on the charges.
Judge this man all you want but I wont hate on him. There’s no point in running from the police. When you realize you’re got you’re only delaying the inevitable. Well you know you’re going to jail, have to hear a shit full from people judging you, financial situation probably to deal with. Well before the handcuffs come on why not just get super high. No point crying like a bitch because they have no sympathy. I mean i think keyboard duster is a little hardcore but i high is a high i guess. Try to keep some power and dignity by getting high right in the cops face before you get taken in. I like the move.
Has anyone seen the movie Belly? Nas, DMX, Method Man directed by Hype Williams. Great flick (not really but kinda yes). Anyways when I saw this story it reminded me of the scene in the restaurant where DMX instigated the situation where one of his boys got shot and he just sits there drinking and lighting up a blunt while the cops arrest him. I’d rather go out like that instead of keyboard duster but kinda the same thing.
The Swarm man carrying multi-rotor airborne flight testing montage. 54 counter-rotation propellers, six grouped control channels with Hobbyking stabilization. Take of weight 148kg, max lift, max approx. lift 164kg. Endurance10 minutes.
See what did I tell you about drone hardos out there. They just love showing off their drones and shit. Like It wasn’t enough you have to have you’re little drone flying and wizzing around in the air getting into my personal space and shit but now here you are with a MASSIVE 54 propeller MAV system flying around a public park with children and shit. Just the worst. Not to mention that thing looks horrifyingly dangerous. I dont know sturdy any of this is but from what i’ve heard those things break easily. The last thing I want is to be walking my dog in the park and next thing you know some bird crash lands on one of the propellers and having this thing careening into me and slicing me up like pepperonis. Get your swarm shit out of my face.
Orlando Weekly– There’s a king cobra on the loose right now in Orlando. It’s 8-foot-long, apparently it’s green and yellow, and it escaped from its owner (who had a license to keep the giant venomous snake) somewhere in the vicinity of the 4800 block of North Apopka Vineland Road, near Steeplechase Boulevard and Hackney Prairie Road. We don’t have many details on this snake, but the FWC is reportedly searching for it now.
Hey Mike Kennedy you asshole, did you not read my blog earlier about snakes and shit? If Not read about them Here and HERE and feel free to comment and like those post so my stats go up. But thats neither here nor there. The fact is if you let a god damn venomous creature out of your grasp and do nothing about till days later you deserve prison. If you own snakes you should go to prison. Why? because i don’t fucking like them and only a psycho person would own them. Yea I’m over exaggerating but now when i go out to take my dog to poop and pee and shit, I gotta pray for dear life i don’t encounter a god damn deadly king cobra. Someone send riki-tiki-tavi out there to find that shit and have it killed and throw Mike behind the bars for a few nights. Its like leaving a loaded gun outside except that loaded gun is a slithering asshole of an animal that can poison motherfuckers left and right.
Listen, this is HUGE. Brady just beat the mother fucking league. Yea they play in the AFC east but I dont hate the pats. Growing up when i was 10 and learning things that mattered in the world, my dad didn’t know football but my uncle did and my uncle placed money on tha patriots cause they were winners. That and At heritage we were patriots so i just picked up the patriots. Like the dolphins too, but when theres a higher level of football out there, and with me not haivng much NFL allegiance to anything at the time, i adopted the Pats. Fast forward to today, Brady just beat the League at their own game. Dont worry though, people. The blogs keep coming, just need to take a bit of down time to catch up on news/masturbate to the greatest Quarterback in our generation
(NEWSER) – Earlier this week, Harvey Lembo decided enough was enough. After five burglaries in his Maine home in six years—most recently last month when $1,000 and medications were stolen—the retired lobsterman bought what he describes as a 7mm Russian-made revolver on Monday. Hours later, he used it, reports CBS News. Lembo, 67 and wheelchair-bound, says he awoke late Monday to the sound of an intruder and saw a shadow pass his kitchen. He took the gun out from under his pillow and confronted the man, who was looking through his medications, reports the Bangor Daily News. “I told him to sit down while I called police or I would blow his brains out.” But while Lembo was on the phone, he says the man tried to flee, so Lembo shot him in the shoulder. Police found 45-year-old Christopher Wildhaber, who has two prior domestic violence convictions, thanks to the trail of blood. After initially saying they don’t expect Lembo to be charged, police are now saying the decision lies with the district attorney, who has yet to issue a decision on the matter. No word on just how Lembo’s apartment was so easy to break into, but a warning to those who think he’s an easy target: “They’re going to have the same treatment,” Lembo says. “And one of them might be worse. Might be fatal. ‘Cause I ain’t messing around no more.”
Now I don’t want to sound biased because I’m from the south and have guns and all that but god dammit does it feel good that a criminal got shot by a 67 year old wheel chair bound man. Harvey Lembo doesn’t deserve to be robbed. Guy probably spent his entire life waking up at Four a.m. and came home at night stinking of brine. He probably sent his kids through law school and paid for all those medications with the lobsters he caught! I mean robbing some scum bag I dont care but not this god damn retired lobsterman. Well about time a nice blue collar fellow just taking the law into his hands fucking threatening to blow the brains out of a criminal while he’s in his wheel chair but thats what you get if you try to steal $1,000 dollars worth of meds from his cupboards. That should teach Christopher Wildhaber a lesson that two prior domestic violence charges can’t. I mean he might’ve clipped the shoulder but coming from an un experienced shooter who bought his revolver a few hours before, you know he was aiming to put one through his dome. Cause he ain’t messing around no more.
p.s- one suggestion though, Harvey. Russian revolver? Get your self a nice American made Smith & Wesson.
Metro– Alongside keeping busy giving porn to the people, Pornhub are now focusing their energies on philanthropic efforts, launching a new subbranch called Pornhub Cares. As part of their doing good stuff, they’re offering out a $25,000 (£16,300) scholarship to one lucky college student – enough to cover a year of university in the US. To apply, all students have to do is form a short video answering the question ‘how do you strive to make others happy?’ Go on, go deep. The competition is open to prospective students in any field, rather than having a specific focus for careers in the porn industry. Pornhub have clarified that any submissions of amateur porn videos ‘will not be seriously considered’, and that applicants ‘don’t have to film porn to be a winner’. That being said, the vice president of Pornhub, Corey Price, has said that he hopes that applicants will share the company’s ‘sex positive belief system’, and that ‘if you’re against pornography […] this is probably not the scholarship for you.’ Plus, nudity in the video submissions will NOT be a disqualifying factor. Price told the Washington Post: ‘We’re always looking at different ways we can give back and we thought helping someone to go to college would be a great way. ‘Part of our inspiration is that we’ve seen a lot of people have a hard time getting money to go to college. We want to make it easier for one person who shares the same mission of spreading happiness.’ The move has, however, come under criticism – especially because of its nudity-accepted clause. Anti-porn activists suggest that, while Pornhub has stated that ‘this is not about you making a homemade porn and winning a scholarship’, the company’s identity may make desperate students think that they need to strip off on camera to fund their studies.
Brilliant move. What I really want to see out of this is the feminist and the PC people and fundamentalist church groups try to argue this one. Here they are spending day and night toiling to ban anything from the Porn industry because of its “morality.” When here we are one of the largest porno super power just doing good in the world by throwing out 25G’s for some lucky person to go to college. And that’s just the thing about porn industry, its whole basis is make people happy. Doesn’t matter if its as day to day as letting people jerk off to virtually an unlimited amount of porn or giving people the chance to study higher education. Its a beautiful thing. Almost can’t believe Anti-porn groups actually hate this one. I mean They say you dont have to be nude or anything, just how they make people happy. And if some smoking hot southern girl who maybe cant afford to go to college, strives to make people happy one orgasm at a time then dammit that smokeshow deserves this scholarship and to go to college.
(NEWSER) – A 51-year-old California woman who climbed up a steep slope behind her house to rescue one of her cats ended up needing to be airlifted off the cliff, CBS Los Angeles reports. The cat, meanwhile, made it down safely on its own. While attempting to retrieve the cat yesterday, Sara Beebe slid about 50 feet and twisted her ankle, according to the Orange County Register. Too hurt to climb the rest of the way down, Beebe started yelling for help, and eventually a neighbor called 911. Firefighters used a helicopter to airlift Beebe to safety, and she appeared to have learned her lesson. “I am going to have to start letting the cat be a little more independent,” Beebe tells CBS.
Fucking cats. I dont want to be one of those people who hates on cats but its so hard not to. Its more that they’re just not awesome like dogs. I dont hate them hate them, just would never really own one. But worst than cats are the cat people that come along with it. Always feel the need to baby them and shit. Always think they’re cute and shit even tho cats never smile or seem joyful. That cat doesnt want to stay with you 24/7 it wants to explore and shit. I mean cats fall outta trees and shit all the time and land on their own feet. But of course you had to be a crazy cat lady and end up stranded on a steep cliff and needing a god damn helicopter to airlift you off off the side of a hill. Honestly think about it. Think about how god damn ridiculous that sounds. Half of me thinks the cat wanted to strand you there just to escape your clutches. Like it was an elaborate plot from the jump
Mirror- Monogamy is the cornerstone of our society, but one global city is bucking the trend with so many women living there that most men have two or three girlfriends. Dongguan, in south China’s Guangdong Province, is known for producing popular electronics such as iPhones and iPads – and also acting as the Chinese ‘capital of sex’. Thanks to the one child policy which operated in China for many years, the country has a massive gender imbalance with millions more men than women in the country. Local factories running assembly plants prefer not to use men as they find them unreliable and instead offer work mainly to women. This means the city has many more women than men, with the men taking odd jobs and casual work, leaving them with plenty of time on their hands. And that means time for more than one girlfriend. Some admit they have two or three permanent girlfriends at the same time. One man told local TV: “It is a lot easier here to find a girlfriend than a job.” The few men who do have jobs at the factories are in an even better position when it comes to finding a girlfriend, because most of the women end up spending long hours at work on the production lines. That means if they look for love, the main place for them to find consolation is from within the company. The disproportionate number of women has recently led to Dongguan being branded the ‘capital of sex’ with many women still willingly and knowingly involving themselves in relationships with men who already have other partners. Li Bin, a migrant factory worker from south-western Sichuan Province, said: “I have three girlfriends, and all of them know about each other. Many of my friends also have many girlfriends.” He added: “There are so many young and naive female workers in the city. Why not have more than one if we can? Look, everyone is here to have fun; if you don’t do it, others will.” Li Bin admitted that it was a “joke” for a man to only have one female partner. A Yi, 25, also a native of Sichuan, said he went to Dongguan to find a wife, as the dowry alone in his hometown would cost £3,000. He said: “There are plenty of women in Dongguan, and they don’t want any money. They just want a man.” A Yi, currently unemployed, said he now has a girlfriend who pays his bills. According to the Guangdong Women’s Rights and Information Service, the women in Dongguan pretend not to know about other partners or simply ignore their existence; some of them are even colleagues in the same factory. But they prefer the arrangement as it is better than being lonely, the women’s rights group said. Most of the women in Dongguan will eventually return home to get married. The thought is that their lifestyle in the bustling ‘capital of sex’ is temporary, and simply a necessary evil.
Preach Li Bin! My dude A Yi knows what the fucks up with life! Shit is this whats been going on in China? Off the records I think my family brings over people from China to try to make a life for them selves in America but why travel thousands of miles when you can get yourself a nice little situation in Dongguan. I might just uproot my self for a bit to try to find some strange over in the province. I mean as a guy tell me a better situation to be in. Just get an easy desk job where i can blog south florida sports, and weird stories all over the place while the chicks are in the factories gluing iPhone parts together wanting dick and at the end of the work day just go home and have your wednesday chick come over and give each other a happy. She has longer work hours the next day and thats when Ms. Thursday comes over. I mean i dont know what the average girlfriend to guy ratio that Li Bin and A YI are involved in but it sounds like for the 7 day week everyone has like a 3 man rotation of starting girlfriends.
Now here in America i would say it sounds awful. 3 mouths nagging at you and complaining about that one skank at the factory but lifes just different in Dongguan. The chicks know whats up and just want to not be some social pariah outcast with no boyfriend. Every ones just there to have some fun as A Yi said. Chicks probably can’t even complain about it either because if they do they’re gonna get kicked to the curb then guys like Li Bin will just pick up another one along the way back inside his apartment. Fucking A, I might need to hit up Dongguang with my buddy real soon. I mean with that many people and that many females being abandoned in the one child policy you can probably find a couple pretty dimes at the factory. I picture its like when Chris Tucker walks into Heaven On Earth Massage Parlor except my friends not black.
Metro– Remember the 26-year-old French woman who was looking for her baby daddy in Australia? Well it turns out it was a hoax and some British guy was just trying to get publicity for his company. ‘Natalie Amyot’ wasn’t really impregnated by a man in Mooloolaba, Queensland, Australia, despite claiming this in a YouTube video yesterday. ‘I found him’, she said in her latest clip released today. That was before Andy Sellar, who owns Sunny Coast Social Media, stepped out to reveal he was just the orchestrator. ‘This has been a viral video for Holiday Mooloolaba,’ he said. ‘We do viral videos for businesses. Now I know there is going to be a lot of you that are upset by this… maybe not too happy.’ He confirmed Ms Amyot’s real name was Alizee Michel, she was a marketing and tourism student and apparently had a boyfriend. Although we don’t know what to believe at this point. @alizeee_m
Listen. Im not gonna sit here and get accused that i was duped. If you read the blog you know i said half way through that it was probably a hoax. So im still smart, you guys.
All that aside though, this is great news. This means the 26 year old hot french chick didn’t get knocked up so i kinda still have a chance right? The rest I don’t care about. Mooloolaba, Australia, This Andy Sellers fellow who looks kinda weird. Don’t care. I kiiinda just want to see nudes of this French chick now at this point. I mean exposing this as a hoax kinda brought me one step closer though. We got a name and you can bet your ass im gonna track down Alizee Michel. Hey Alizee, if you dont want to me to creep on you through social media, dont look hot on a viral hoax video. Kinda fell in love with the persona too. Got hammered and make bad decisions that ends with sex. You toyed with my emotions Alizee! No apology is necessary but if you’re inclined to make one can you please attach other pics or nudes with them? Thats all I ask.
![Alongside keeping busy giving porn to the people, Pornhub are now focusing their energies on philanthropic efforts, launching a new subbranch called Pornhub Cares. As part of their doing good stuff, they’re offering out a $25,000 (£16,300) scholarship to one lucky college student – enough to cover a year of university in the US. To apply, all students have to do is form a short video answering the question ‘how do you strive to make others happy?’ Go on, go deep. The competition is open to prospective students in any field, rather than having a specific focus for careers in the porn industry. PornHub has launched the ‘Netflix of porn’ Pornhub have clarified that any submissions of amateur porn videos ‘will not be seriously considered’, and that applicants ‘don’t have to film porn to be a winner’. That being said, the vice president of Pornhub, Corey Price, has said that he hopes that applicants will share the company’s ‘sex positive belief system’, and that ‘if you’re against pornography […] this is probably not the scholarship for you.’ Plus, nudity in the video submissions will NOT be a disqualifying factor. Price told the Washington Post: ‘We’re always looking at different ways we can give back and we thought helping someone to go to college would be a great way. ‘Part of our inspiration is that we’ve seen a lot of people have a hard time getting money to go to college. We want to make it easier for one person who shares the same mission of spreading happiness.’ The move has, however, come under criticism – especially because of its nudity-accepted clause. Anti-porn activists suggest that, while Pornhub has stated that ‘this is not about you making a homemade porn and winning a scholarship’, the company’s identity may make desperate students think that they need to strip off on camera to fund their studies.](https://theuglyorange.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/pornhub-offers-university-college-scholarship.png)
The Ugly Orange 