Ha! And you guys scoffed at my idea of using Sea Turtles as drug mules. Animals make for the perfect criminals. Talk a walk though Miami Metro Zoo or Parrot Jungle and you might as well be walking through Attica Correctional with the amount of potential criminals to carry out a ploy. Now this tactic, in practice, is a great idea. Simple find a cat wandering the streets and lure it to you with a little can of fancy feast and turn it into a roaming molotov cocktail because cats naturally hate humans unless they feel like being attention whores and fire burns things. Boom. In principle though, not sure if I’m down with this idea. I mean don’t get me wrong, it makes a statement. But somethings don’t connect. Like “You owe me protection money so im going to set this forest ablaze.” If anything I guess it’ll annoy the park ranger a lot when you have a lazy gig like guarding a park and then someone burns it to ashes, but that’s more for firefighters to deal with. Maybe if they just sent the guy a burnt cat wrapped in brown wrapping paper that said “GIVE ME THE PROTECTION MONEY OR IM GOING TO BURN YOU ALIVE” first to send a message before resorting to Arson on the entire region of Sicily. Not in those words of course, maybe something a little more subtle, but you get the point.
This guy in this demonstration video is like staring at the most pathetic thing on earth. Hey @cats, if you think I’m gonna bite down on some mouth guard, ribbed fake tongue that i thought was a sex toy at first, thing and pretend to lick you in order for you to love me even though I have to look after your over all well being by feeding you and shit and paying for you, you can go to hell. If you think this is normal, you’re delusional. Dogs lick them selves too, yet here we are operating independently as two different species not trying to lick one another with some fake tongue thing. But the part that just makes cats so much worse isn’t that dogs just love people naturally, its that if my dog asked me to lick him with this fake rubber tongue, id do it. Cause i love him and i know he loves me. This cat on the other hand is just fleeting love. Once you realize you’re pathetic and toss that thing in the trash then you can bet your ass your cats gonna go back to expecting food and waiting for the day you drop dead. That’s the difference.
Fucking cats. I dont want to be one of those people who hates on cats but its so hard not to. Its more that they’re just not awesome like dogs. I dont hate them hate them, just would never really own one. But worst than cats are the cat people that come along with it. Always feel the need to baby them and shit. Always think they’re cute and shit even tho cats never smile or seem joyful. That cat doesnt want to stay with you 24/7 it wants to explore and shit. I mean cats fall outta trees and shit all the time and land on their own feet. But of course you had to be a crazy cat lady and end up stranded on a steep cliff and needing a god damn helicopter to airlift you off off the side of a hill. Honestly think about it. Think about how god damn ridiculous that sounds. Half of me thinks the cat wanted to strand you there just to escape your clutches. Like it was an elaborate plot from the jump