TOM HOLLAND JUST THREATENED GROWN ASS MEN THEN THREW THEIR POSTERS BECAUSE I WAS CRUSHED AGAINST THE BARRICADE HE SAID “IM GONNA THROW YOUR SHIT ON THR GROUND IF YOU KEEP PUSHING HER” then came to me and calmed me down and the video HES LITERALLY SO MAD AT GRAPHERS VKSBDKSN WHAT?
“It’s okay I got you I got you” @TomHolland1996 🙃 This was absolutely INSANE and should NEVER happen….my neck was literally against the barricade with 30 grown men behind me pushing…. ridiculous how people act like you’re not only endangering fans safety but Toms as well🤯 pic.twitter.com/uey9VVMfBJ
Tom Holland, a Nice guy. Best Live action Spider-man. Super Excited for Far From Home coming out next week.
Do you know how big of a loser you have to be to be an Adult Autograph seeker? I honestly don’t even want to spend much time on it because its been said for years now. Athletes voicing their thoughts when grown men trample kids to get shit signed just to sell on ebay and stuff. The part that is wild is just how little an autograph fetches you in the grand scheme of things. Like is it really worth camping out waiting in a group where you awkwardly stand out because you’re a grown middle age man wearing a baseball hat
in a sea of what seems to be teens who aren’t at the age where they need to have major responsibilities and can have teen heart throbs like Tom Holland. Besides who the fuck actually buys these things? Its 2019. No one wants an autograph, they want picture proof. Video Proof. Infact video proof of Tom Holland defending you from an Adult autograph seeker probably is worth more than any signature. This right here is the high. 31k retweets 218k likes, Even more over multiple tweets and prestigious websites such as TheUglyOrange blogging about it. Signatures aint worth shit pal. Even Tom Hollands and I like the guy.
EW-Octavia Spencer is bringing her own brand of super-heroism to Black Panther. The Academy Award-winning actress announced on Instagram on Wednesday that she plans to buy out a movie theatre in Mississippi, where she will be when the film opens, to offer screenings to underserved communities. “I will be in MS when this movie opens. I think I will buy out a theatre in an underserved community there to ensure that all our brown children can see themselves as a superhero. I will let you know where and when Mississippi. Stay tuned. #KingsAndQueensWillRise,” she captioned an Instagram post that featured an image promoting the film, Spencer previously bought out screenings of Hidden Figures in low-income neighborhoods in Los Angeles to ensure those that could not afford to see the inspiring film would be able to have the chance. Many of her Hidden Figures costars then followed suit. Black Panther hits theaters on Feb. 16.
What a heart on Octavia Spencer. Honestly that’s so dope of her. Black Panther looks like it’s gonna be awesome and from what I’ve heard with the World Premier earlier this week, it is awesome and gonna be a huge hit. To finally have a black super hero on screen in a good movie is a great thing and for Octavia Spencer to be able to connect children that can identify with a strong and powerful character like the king of Wakanda is amazing.
All that being said, I too, have been working on buying out a screening of a big movie as well. Only problem is I’m doing it because it think it would be very very fun to cuck nerds. But see it’ll be well deserved because of how many fucking movies a year I watch and how much I spend at Regal. 50+movies last year just racking up regal points all for the ultimate goal of having enough points to buy a theater like a boss. With an average smaller theater room having around 96 seats, I know I’m far from my goal but listen, the beauty of Hollywood is they keep on pumping out the same franchise stuff over and over again. By the time Avengers 8 comes out or Star Wars episode 69 hit’s theaters lord knows how many points I would’ve accumulated by then with movie viewings and popcorn purchases. Imagine the final Star Wars movie. Yoda comes back, Luke comes back. The nerds would refinance their home for that shit opening day if they need to. But the second they hop on Fandango looking to purchase a ticket for a 10 o’clock screening and they look to reserve their seat and then they become absolutely flummoxed. Absolutely ZERO seats available. They missed out. They sneak in the theater only to find one Chinese man sitting where ever the fuck I want changing seats 90 times because the fact is all those seats are mine. And when they try to sneak in and take a seat I’ll laugh as security shames them and escorts them out of the seat because it’s reserved for me. The theater all to myself. The dream.
“Hey I think i got splashed with some pym particles cause something just grew in my pants after watching this trailer.”
Get it? cause the Pym Particles can make things grow, and you just received an erection probably watching this trailer.
Not much to say but to think im looking forward to this more than i thought. Honestly that might be part of the charm to the Ant-man franchise. It’s the most under rated character in the Marvel arsenal. Ant man 1 wasn’t anything spectacular but it might be in my top 10. It takes a step away from from the mass chaos that has to be the other Marvel movies. Just have a little heist action, some funny jokes from Michael Pena, and watch another piece of the Avengers movies with out having the serious tone of the fate of the world on their shoulders. Now a little notes so far from the trailer.
-The Timeline is set after Civil War obviously. I’m curious to see how it plays though because we’re going to get Infinity Wars before Ant-man even though Ant-man is going to be in Infinity Wars. And more curious now how it plays into Avengers 4 because from set photos he plays a very important part what seems like some time travel mischief.
– Lawrence Fishbourne’s Character was once Giant-man/Goliath. Curious to see who he plays in the movie. Could we get a giant vs giant fight? Speaking of which…
– Paul Rudd’s little chuckle when he went giant in Civil War warms my heart.
– I want to see what this Pym Mobile has. Cars and their gadgetry always sells and then I need to see Michael Pena rolling around in this pimped out hot rod Hyundai veloster. In a weird its a shame. Iron man gets Audi’s, there’s new Acura NSXs in Avengers, Black Panther has lexus, but here we’re stuck with the cheap ass hyundai’s for the Ant-man franchise. What ever, Blake Griffin pushes Kia’s, Ant-man pushes Hyundai and i have a strong feeling that’s Michael Pena behind the wheel for a bit.
– The fictional tech that is everything in the Marvel universe. Too see the helmet flip back and fold up into a small thing behind the neck like it’s Start tech made a drip come out. I don’t know why that is but they always are able to do these little things that help sell me. In Age of Ultron if you slow it down you see Stark Close in his hand so the gauntlet flying over can slip over his hand. The way Spider-man slaps down his webbing so it sticks to the boat ferry. Even Ant-man moving his head in a way as if it kicks the helmet back. It all sells it so it doesn’t make me thing it’s just CGI over everything even though it is.
-They knew this was going to make the trailer. Also, Evangeline Lilly, much hotter with long hair. I didn’t hate her character in Ant-man but the short hair cut and power suit did make her seem like a stiff. Now with the hair down, normal wear, suit that can shrink her into a little acrobatic wasp at her whim, she seems like her character can be much funner than her serious, bossy, father hating character she had mostly in Ant-man.
Page Six– Comic book legend Stan Lee has been accused of groping and harassing the nurses who care for him at his home in Los Angeles. According to the Daily Mail, the nursing company is currently in a legal dispute with the 95-year-old Marvel creator after nurses claimed he asked for oral sex in the shower and to be “pleasured” in his bedroom. “He doesn’t seem to care what people think of him, he’s lost his filter,” a source told the tabloid. “There has been a stream of young nurses coming to his house in West Hollywood and he has been sexually harassing them. He finds it funny.” The source added, “He’s also very handsy and has groped some of the women, it’s unacceptable behavior, especially from an icon like Stan.” A rep for the nursing home confirmed several nurses have complained and the owner of the company has spoken to Lee directly, but the company stopped working for him at the end of 2016. “Mr. Lee categorically denies these false and despicable allegations and he fully intends to fight to protect his stellar good name and impeccable character,” his lawyer said in a statement to the site. “We are not aware of anyone filing a civil action, or reporting these issues to the police, which for any genuine claim would be the more appropriate way for it to be handled. Instead, Mr. Lee has received demands to pay money and threats that if he does not do so, the accuser will go to the media. Mr. Lee will not be extorted or blackmailed, and will pay no money to anyone because he has done absolutely nothing wrong.” Meanwhile, a rep for the new nursing company working for Lee said he has been “polite, kind and respectful” to their staff. Lee’s wife of 69 years, Joan, passed away in July at 93 years old. A rep for Lee did not immediately return our request for comment.
Listen I’m not gonna try to pretend the stereotype of old creepy men who try to get nurses to jack them off during sponge baths isn’t a real thing. Stan Lee and that age group grew up in a time where that shit was common place. The reason it kills me a little deep inside is because I know how much he loved his wife. I mean read this shit and try to not drum up thoughts of a perfect romance story.
“When I was young, there was one girl I drew; one body and face and hair. It was my idea of what a girl should be. The perfect woman. And when I got out of the Army, somebody, a cousin of mine, knew a model, a hat model at a place called Laden Hats. He said, ‘Stan, there’s this really pretty girl named Betty. I think you’d like her. She might like you. Why don’t you go over and ask her to lunch.’ Blah, blah, blah.
“So I went up to this place. Betty didn’t answer the door. But Joan answered, and she was the head model. I took one look at her — and she was the girl I had been drawing all my life. And then I heard the English accent. And I’m a nut for English accents! She said, ‘May I help you?’ And I took a look at her, and I think I said something crazy like, ‘I love you.’ I don’t remember exactly. But anyway, I took her to lunch. I never met Betty, the other girl. I think I proposed to [Joan] at lunch.”
his wife was his muse and the guy didn’t even know it till he accidentally ran into her! I tear up thinking about running into a the girl you’d been dreaming about all your life but then i tear up more thinking that image is tarnished by the idea of Stan Lee asking nurses to jerk him off while he touches up on The Amazing Spider-man Issue #121. What ever happens happens, hope he stops sexually harassing nurses. Not like I’m a comic book artist so I’m not personally offended but I damn sure do love every single marvel movie and this world he helped create. Which brings me to my last point.
You gotta kill Stan Lee’s cameo in Infinity Wars right? Like not kill it as in “yea we crushed it, great scene!” I mean I want to see Stan Lee die in it. You can’t talk about how Thanos is the big bad in a movie thats a culmination of 10 years and not stick a shocking dagger in every person in the audience. I mean people already assume Thanos is gonna wipe out half the universe, Key characters potentially dying. Why not really make Thanos one of the most iconic villains by at least on screen killing one of the most iconic cameos/character of all time. There doesn’t need to be any continuity issues, the guy showed up in space in GotG2. Not like its some crazy plot hole if he shows up in movies after. But the fact is this is suppose to be one of the craziest Marvel movie to date, he’s 95 years old. At that age you never know whats gonna happen. Do we want his last memory to be a 95 year old sexual harassing old man who yelled at Peter Parker in Spider-man Homecoming 2? No. We want to have our heart strings ripped out when he gets vaporized by Thanos and the Infinity Gauntlet.
NYDN- Steve Rogers is apparently catching some flak for his role as steward of America.
French director Luc Besson, whose latest film “Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets” hit theaters last month, spoke with a Brazilian journalist about an increasingly familiar term in the film industry: superhero fatigue.
Besson lambasted Hollywood’s portrayal of Captain America, saying that the superhero genre always attempts to bolster America’s standing on the world stage.
Besson went as far as to call Captain America “propaganda.”
“I’m totally tired of it, totally. I mean, it was great 10 years ago when we saw the first ‘Spider-Man,’ ‘Iron Man.’ Now it’s like, number five, six, seven,” Besson said. “The superhero is working with another superhero, but it’s not the same family. I’m lost.”
“What bothers me most, is that it’s always here to show the supremacy of America, and how they are great. I mean, which country in the world would have the guts to call a film, ‘Captain Brazil,’ or ‘Captain France?’ I mean, no one. We would be so ashamed and say, ‘No, no, c’mon, we can’t do that.’ They can . They can call it ‘Captain America’ and everybody thinks it’s normal.”
“I’m not here for propaganda, I’m here to tell a story,” Besson continued. “And ‘Valerian’ is another proposal….different, where, you really travel. You meet aliens, a lot. And there are real themes. I mean, Valerian and Laureline are not superheroes, they’re not even heroes. They’re people like you and me. They’re cops, they do their job. But sometimes, they can be heroic. That’s what I love, because I can relate to that. I can’t relate to a superhero, I don’t have superpowers.”
“Valerian,” which holds a 50% on Rotten Tomatoes, underperformed at the box office, earning $90 million off a budget around $180 million. Meanwhile, in its third week, superhero film “Spiderman: Homecoming” earned over $5 million more at the box office than Besson’s film.
Honestly how much is Luc Besson crying that his precious Valerian movie stunk in theaters nationwide while every Marvel movie seems to be a smash hit and makes millions in box office and toy sales around the globe. Seriously way to pick a fight with the largest fucking production studio on the planet. Don’t get me wrong, I can understand someone saying its tired. We’ve hit around close to 41 comic super hero movies since the 2000s and half of which have come in under 10 years and we get about 3 or 4 yearly now. I get it can be tired, but guess what? if it’s good and still makes money, they’re still gonna make them, and we’ll still be entertained. It’s only recently they started cooking up a new method too by making them genre films to reinvent comic book super heros so god knows when kids who share the comic book super hero movie get sick of Spider Man. Sure, the second I hear a 9 year old walk out of Spiderman Homecoming 5 saying “God, this spiderman is so derivitive of the earlier works of previous Spiderman blah blah blah” then I’ll credit Luc Besson for being in on it early but remember these are movies for kids and are entertaining enough for Adults to watch. That’s a sweat money market that I’m okay with.
But besides all of that, Besson’s other takes are just as trash has Valerian. Like, why you gotta diss Captain America like that. I’m sorry a comic book character created in the 40’s in the middle of World War II was created as a symbol of patriotism in a country that entered the war to save allied countries from being over run by a Fascist dictator. Guess what, thats what America did, we along with our allied pals came in and stomped Hitler’s dick. That’s why Captain America is who he is. Because he is the living embodiment of what is right in America and he’s not afraid to call Hitler a fuck face with his super jacked muscles. Listen some guy in Brazil wants to create a comic book character called Captain Brazil go for it. Want to make a Captain France, be my guest. Most likely he would surrender in war so I don’t think that would be the greatest Comic book character but sure go ahead and make one. But blaming Steve Rodgers, a comic book character, for being a character created in the middle of the Second World War as a archetype of the perfect American soldier who selflessly volunteered to enter the war despite being physically capable to do much but wants to because he doesn’t like bullies and because standing up to bad guys was the right thing to do, and was subsequently turned into a billion dollar movie character, is the definition of salty.
Don’t even get me started on him trying to defend Valerian. Is there room for a good, entertaining movie to be in there? Sure. I mean you have all these space things going on, theres detective work, aliens, bad guy twist, sure there could be a good movie there but between Dane Dehaan not being able to lead in a big time studio movies, his actually shitty character, and the useless shit going on in the movie, Valerian stunk. Guy’s making it out to seem like theres some great space voyage movie where you’ll leave with an encyclopedia of alien knowledge after watching this movie. Here’s all it is **Spoilers** aliens got wiped out, Dane Dehaan really wants to fuck Laureline, and then the movie derails into a teen love movie with Dehaan learning about love from a shape shifting Rihanna, and then they figure out who blew up the planet along time ago. You don’t really travel. It’s disguised as travel because they built unrealistic environments that are some how explained because of some mcguffen alien space station. You don’t really see aliens as more than faces on screens, besides the main aliens that are hardly on screen besides the beginning or the end and the shape shifting Rihanna. and I guess you learn a theme of Love, one of the most played out themes in the world. Trash movie. And to say that these are relatable characters. Such a weird concept in movies. Sure making relatable characters are fun. But unless there’s a movie about a Chinese blogger, how the fuck is that suppose to relate to me? Oh Alien space cop, super relatable characters. Super sophisticated super British spy in James Bond, Not relatable. A badass professor of archeology who searches for hidden relics, not relatable. Any person in any action movie ever because they can run more than a mile to save their life, not relatable. And on the other end of the spectrum, its a fucking movie, guy. If i wanted to see relatable characters that did boring as shit instead of saving the world from Thanos and what ever imminent threat is lurking in the corner, then Id just stay home and watch Animal Planet. I don’t want relatable characters, I want fucking awesome characters doing awesome things. And trust me, Luc, we know you don’t have super powers.
Sidenote- I feel like they don’t even call him specifically “Captain America” much in the movies. Steve, Rodgers, Steve Rodgers, Captain Rodgers, Cap etc. Shits just the title man. And then even at that point, people just refer to the sequels as Civil War or Winter Soldier. Much easier to say that Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets.
At this point I think I’m just gonna be a full on DC Hater. From what i gather from nerds, DC is ruling in the comic book world while Marvel is killing it on screen. Lucky fro Marvel, I watch comic book movies, not read them like some nerd. and from the 10 year span Marvel has done a solid job while every DC movie just stinks in comparison. Now they don’t have as many, but they want to set the scale and be up to par with an action packed super hero movie, then I’ll judge it as so. And while Heroic Hollywood wants to defend what Justice League seems to be, I’m here to trash it into the ground. Buckle up cause its about to get Nerdy as Fuuucckkkkkk
6.) Age of Heros
While Batman and Wonder Woman will have had a little more time to shine on the big screen when Justice League comes out, Cyborg, Aquaman and Flash are really all making their big-screen debut here. Wonder Woman calls the time period around Justice League a new “Age of Heroes” during the trailer, and I really want to see that angle pushed. Now that the Marvel Universe is torn apart and the Avengers need to slowly come back together, it falls on DC to show us what a fun superhero team looks like right now. Under Zack Snyder’s supervision, Superman never struck me as overtly heroic. Hopefully, in his death, he will serve as an inspiring force who pushes others to heroic heights. Batman was visibly jaded throughout most of Batman V Superman, and I’m hoping we will see a Batman in Justice League who pushes others to do what’s right. Flash is one of my all-time favorite comic book characters and I’m excited to see how they handle him on the big-screen. Barry Allen has always been the team’s hopeful optimist, and I think this movie will see the DC Universe embrace a lighter, more joyous tone going forward. Batman and Wonder Woman will need all the help they can get as they work to assemble a team to defend Earth from the threat posed by Darkseid and his loyal followers.
This is a reason? We “immediately” need a teamed up Super Hero movie? By the time Justice League Rolls around, I’m pretty sure GotG Vol. 2 will roll around on Blu-Ray which would probably be better, if not maybe get Spiderman Homecoming probably around then as well. Oh and Thor who teams up with the Hulk in Thor Ragnarok comes out like the week before JL. How can you say, a team up super hero action movie is better than the other when the other has already done 2, 2.5 team up movies with a 3rd in the making that has a cast of 64 different unique comic book characters? Marvel tore the team apart so they couldn’t immediately curb stomp Thanos. They’ve been around long enough to build up, tear em down, and build em back up again.
5.) Aquaman
Jason Momoa is the DC cast member I’m most excited to see blossom and grow within the cinematic universe. Momoa, a Hawaiian born actor, said he is excited to blend the character’s origin with some of the water deities associated with his culture. Aquaman is the butt of a lot of jokes, but it’s hard to laugh at him when it’s Momoa’s tough mug staring down at audiences. Momoa has martial arts experience due to his roles in Game of Thrones and Conan, meaning he will have no problem making things look good when Aquaman has to tear through a few enemies. That isn’t saying there won’t be any comedy for Momoa. My favorite parts of the most recent Justice League trailer feature Momoa cracking jokes and smiling as he and his teammates ready for battle. His cocky attitude is just as fitting (and perhaps annoying for his fellow League members) on the battlefield as it is in the mess hall and I’m excited to see how his teammates react. Batman and Wonder Woman seem hard and serious in the DC cinematic Universe, so it will fall to Momoa to make sure the audience is smiling in the middle of what will likely be a dark and dour movie.
Tell me this guy isn’t holding his breath underwater
Guy might look like a bad ass biker type when he’s on land and all but why the fuck do I care about Aquaman when he’s on land? Guy looks like he’ll choke and drown if I pinch and hold his nose. As an Aquaman, you kinda lose all respect if you can’t breathe underwater. Not to mention Marvel has been kinda hinting at having their water guy Namor being introduced into the MCU as well and I’m not ruling him out for Infinity Wars. But as of now, you can’t have a guy that can’t breath underwater, who plays a king of water, as a reason it’s suppose to be better than a billion dollar franchise. Do better.
4.) Intro to the New Gods
The New Gods are a group of cosmic beings in the DC Universe created by the legendary Jack Kirby. These New Gods emerged after Ragnarok (the death of the old gods) and quickly developed roles for themselves. All of them originally lived together, but now they have splintered and find themselves living on two separate planets. Highfather leads the people of New Genesis while Darkseid controls the inhabitants of Apokolips as the two groups compete for power and influence across the universe. Not only are they mythical creatures with magical power, they also belong to technologically advanced societies. Their technology has often bled over into Earth and the presence of the mother box in the Justice League trailers provides a hint that the New Gods will be featured somehow. Rumors even point to Cyborg being integrated with New God technology, making it more likely that they will become key players for the DC cinematic universe soon. Plus, if the Justice League is prepping to take on Darkseid, the New God equivalent to Hades, they are likely going to need the help of Orion, his oldest son and one of the League’s strongest members, to defend Earth. For people searching for a good entryway into the New Gods, look out for Tom King and Mitch Gerads upcoming Mister Miracle 12-issue series set to debut in August. It was only announced last week and it’s already my most anticipated comic of the year. Hopefully Mister Miracle will make his big-screen debut in future Justice League movies as the battle with Darkseid becomes more established.
From what I gather this means that they introduce aliens with god like strength and it bleeds into earth? So Stark tech mixed with Chitari tech mixed with a little Thor? And all of this is based on rumors instead of what’s been released plot wise? Are you allowed to count hypotheticals as solid reasons? No. I hypothetically could have sex with a billion girls, doesn’t mean my sex count is higher than Gosling.
3.) War between Atlantis and Amazon
It’s already been established that the movie will feature a prologue from the past featuring Atlanteans and Amazonians competing over a mother box lost on Earth, but I hope there is more conflict for these two groups in the future. Both groups consider themselves above the rest of the world and that type of sureness can only be accepted by the other side for so long before they snap and start fighting. It’d also be really cool if we learn that these two groups have been locked in eternal skirmishes and a lot of natural events can be blamed on their conflicts. Imagine if the burning of Pompeii or the sinking of the Titanic weren’t caused by natural disasters but instead by dangers presented whenever the King of Atlantis and Queen of Thymsceria battled. After the Justice League takes down Darkseid in a future movie, I want to see a movie focusing on a war between Amazonia and Atlantis. Not only will it feature some crazy action sequences that show two distinct, advanced civilizations squaring off, but it will put the team in the middle of an emotional conflict without an obvious moral choice to make. Wonder Woman and Aquaman, who should be the focus of whatever movie finally touches on this conflict, will both have to choose between their old friends/families and their new teammates as they try to dissolve the tension and stop the fighting.
This is all this list is, future events that may or may not happen. Yea if Marvel can pull any story line from their past that will be epic I’m sure they could, but they also gotta worry about making the movie good. Man of Steel stunk, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice stunk, Suicide Squad was trash. Im sure DC can pump out all they want with a green screen and poorly lit color pallet but I’m siding with the score board here. You want to see 2 advanced civilizations square off? Well I got that. Avengers, Mad war titan Thanos vs one of the best civilizations ever, Humans. We’ve accomplished so much with so little, I’ll never turn my back on Humans.
2.) Batman
I know I already briefly mentioned him in this article, but honestly Batman alone is a solid reason to think Justice League could be an amazing movie. In fact, I don’t even think we really need the other League members, we should just have seven Batmen running around. Throughout his cinematic career Batman has primarily worked alone, but Justice League will finally see him take a leadership position within the superhero community. It doesn’t matter who Batman is fighting against or with, he is always the most dangerous person on the battlefield. For all of Batman V Superman‘s problems, Batman’s fighting abilities were awesome to watch. Seeing him zip away from Superman’s laser or easily take down Luthor’s thugs are things I want to see expanded upon in Justice League. I want to see Batman run fist-first into a group of Parademons and emerge unscratched on the other side. Batman is simultaneously the brains and the brawn, and it will be interesting to watch him slowly develop a team and expand upon his desire to play with others. He might not be the hero we need, but Batman is always the hero we deserve and I can’t wait to see him kick some alien ass.
The second line of this is basically them saying they dont want a Justice League movie, rather a Batman one. Now I like Batman for the most part. Nolan’s Batman movies are awesome and are top tier comic book movies that I can’t dispute. But man fuck that guy. Always dealing with issues abotu his dead parents. The Martha bit in BvS was honestly a joke that kinda feels like jumped the shark but in the end when you break it down, would you give an ISIS leaders a pass because they shared the same name as your mom? No. And people think Superman was fucking lucky being unstoppable strong and fast with all the power in the world to dominate, well fucking same deal with Batman. They just always end up writing him as the best. Some how he’s fast enough to zip away from a laser at high speeds? He’s always the master of the strategy even though u can plop him in space and oh yea he had a space suit ready just because he’s batman. The Writers made him a cheap fuck and I wont stand for it anymore. He might be the Brain but you can’t say he’s the brawn when he himself technically like a small fraction of Superman’s strength. But oh he invented some thing that made him stronger and had it ready just like that so he can pull it out of his pants pocket. Fuck that guy. Im glad his parents are dead.
1.) Darkseid
A lot of you may think DC is copying Marvel by featuring a giant purple alien as the big baddy in the background, but Thanos is actually a direct copy of Darkseid. Darkseid is the tyrannous leader of Apokolips, a planet that has been ravaged by war and destruction. He leads an extremely militant society and views everyone as an extension of himself and the state he has world he has built. His control over the dangerous anti-life equation bends people to his will and serves as his most powerful weapon as he tries to expand his reign across the universe. His goal will be achieved only when free will is wiped away from the universe and everyone works for and serves Darkseid’s image. Darkseid views other deities as a threat and has been known to murder New Gods, Greek Gods and Olympians just to secure his own position. His intense power makes him a huge threat and he has no problem taking Superman down single-handedly. While his uncle Steppenwolf is the main villain in Justice League, played by Game of Thrones alum Ciaran Hinds, expect to see Darkseid plotting in the background as he lays the groundwork for a full-scale invasion of Earth.
You think I give a fuck who was made first or who copied who? Who showed up on screen first and better? Thanos. Let’s just go with what will happen in the cinematic universes, Thanos get’s a glove that can erase the universe from existence. Darkseid is after some thing to bend people’s will? The Mind Gem in the Infinity gauntlet I’m pretty sure can do that alone. Darkseid = Trash. Thanos is better/ he’s being played by Josh Brolin/ Kelly T., a lady who cut my hair once in Boston, also cut Josh Brolin’s hair. Me and Thanos having the same Hairstylist once makes him better alone.
Peter Quill and his fellow Guardians are hired by a powerful alien race, the Sovereign, to protect their precious batteries from invaders. When it is discovered that Rocket has stolen the items they were sent to guard, the Sovereign dispatch their armada to search for vengeance. As the Guardians try to escape, the mystery of Peter’s parentage is revealed.
Well folks, between the abhorrently hot and humid weather, baseball on TV, and Hollywood printing money from action movies, it’s safe to say we’ve officially entered Summer blockbuster season. No better way to usher in the season with one of the hottest film franchise from one of the hottest studios, with Marvel Studio’s Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. I took the time out of my very busy schedule to watch it just so I could write this up at 1:16 am just in case any one out there is too dumb to realize a billion dollar film franchise is playing in theaters currently and they do in fact want your money.
GotG Vol. 2, like most other Marvel movies live up to the hype. It’s crazy the universe they’ve built where we’ve accepted and happily welcomed in a movie that features a talking racoon, a tree limited to 3 words, and people of races of so many colors you’d think racism in America was dead decades ago. Well what the first GotG movie did that I think people like about it was two things, it opened the doors and brought in higher concepts to the MCU with the cosmic world. We all know by now that this is all setting the stage for probably one of the largest blockbuster movie’s ever in The Avengers: Infinity Wars. They explored the idea of galaxy’s and other worlds, celestial beings, and learned more about the infinity stones and the creation of the universe for god’s sake. All very crucial to adapting how the rest of the MCU will fit in place when Infinity Wars come about. Well Vol.2 gave us a bit more of that by introducing a character like Ego the Living Planet. The idea and sense of power a Celestial being has and how it deals with the rest of the universe is pretty big consider we are going to eventually some how gonna see guy’s like Captain America and fucking Hawk-Eye some how deal with fighting a construct like that, but half the battle is established by translating a character like that on screen. I was pretty skeptical about how it was all going to work when the character is just a planet with a face on it in the comic books.
But Kurt Russel and James Gunn did a good job portraying that on screen actually translating him to a human form and how he’s connected with the planet and all that nonsense.
What Vol. 2 doubled down on, unfortunately though, was the humor of it all. The first one was the right amount of humor. This one kind of all comes across too jokey and kinda brings it down for me. Don’t get me wrong, the parts that are funny are funny but it’s just too much in the movie. The first one had just the right amount of humor from a guy like Drax. He didn’t say overly much in the first one so every time he had a nice subtle joke, he killed it. This one, all of his dialogue were written to be funny and kinda over does it for me. Every scene had to have some sort of joke to it, it feels like and it’s not a bad choice, but I would personally like it more if it scaled back and gave me some more world building dialogue that didn’t include a punch line.
Overall the movie was a solid 8 where most Marvel movies fall. Some people argue that the Villains in Marvel movies stink and to some degree it’s true, but a villain like Ego surely was better than Ronin with his motives and over all character. Ayesha, the gold lady, was a bit of a water ever side plot villain but it definitely helped drive the plot. The plot itself isn’t very overly complicated but the movie is mostly character driven with characters like Ego, Starlord, Nebula, and definitely Yondu who kinda steals the show in Vol. 2. If you’re not savvy to all of what’s going on with Marvel movies you might not get what’s going on and it might be confusing to keep up, but even if you’re casually watching you should find it a fun watch with the humor and action. Not as good as the first one because its so hard to recreate the discovery and introduction to it all, but now immersed in this world, they do a good job trying to not fuck it up and showing a story that really stands alone that helps build the cosmic world for future films.
Now onto some discussion.
Ego’s CGI Transformations
From the second they stepped into Ego’s temple, I got the feeling the CGI was weird. Not the building or anything, but when he has those spheres that kinda display what ever he wants from the creation of him and the models of humans and stuff. It was all weird looking CGI. I mean they were just suppose to be projections so I didn’t think much of it. Just assumed they were clay-mation like projections that he can mold to show what ever. But I was appalled when I saw the CGI work they did when Ego and Peter fight. Hail of gun fire reigns on Ego to no avail only to show CGI of him rebuilding himself in a mixture of Dr. Manhattan in The Watchmen at first to then looking like early 2000’s CGI of Hollow man or even kind of like Ghost Rider quality CGI. Maybe it was just me but at the time, it looked kinda bad to me.
Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel
Do you think these 2 ever feel left out? I mean as an Actor I assume you want your face everywhere for publicity sake right? Yet almost all these P.R. photos Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel don’t show up ever at all
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I mean Bradley Cooper is an A list star and Vin Diesel is a crucial character in 2 Major billion dollar film franchises. I mean sometimes I even forget those 2 are in this movie. Especially in this one, baby Groot, no chance they dragged Vin Diesels muscular ass into the studios for this. They probably audio photo chopped his previous recordings so it sounds like its coming from a tiny tree guy. I mean If you’re getting paid what they’re getting paid, it’s hard to complain. Especially Vin Diesel who has 3 words total he has to say. but still, you gotta figure they’re kinda jealous they miss out on a lot of the spot light.
Starfox
I’m not savvy to all the modern day video games because I suck and don’t have the patience to play, but yo how dope was Star fox back in the day. Tell me you didn’t get a hint of that when you saw Rocket Racoon and Peter Quill navigating through an asteroid field with hundreds of the Sovereign fighter space ships on their tail gunning them down until they double spin through little honey comb like portals. They need to remake that for whatever systems they have now. Dopest dope.
Cheddar Bob
Shout out to Evan Jones for being apart of the Ravagers. Guy has one of those faces that is so recognizable I think. I mean I noticed him right away. With a stand out face like that you’d think he’d have more roles in Hollywood but then again maybe its because his face looks like that of a bum which is what he was in 8 mile and the Ravagers aren’t exactly deep characters either. He also looks like Jimmy Clausen. Bad look on his part.
Post Credit Scenes
FIVE post credit scenes. FIVE. 1,2,3,4,FiF. Honestly I’m getting a little sick and tired of these. GotG Vol.2 has them spaced out so it doesn’t seem to make the credits that long but either way, fuck that. Give me 1 post credit scene. 2 max. Either way, I’m not acknowledging any of these people who worked on the film. I bet if you’re a movie usher or one of those people who have to clean up you must hate the shit out of the post credit scenes because now everyone sits there an extra five minutes, which is five minutes until you can finish cleaning, which is five minutes more taken out of your life that inevitably makes you want to kill your self. And speaking of how it sucks doing that job….
Midnight Showings
How about the balls on my local theater showing the movie on a 24 hour schedule. At fist I thought it only ran to 3 am which is crazy in its own right, but when I went to go double check, this shit is playing for 24 hours straight. I can’t imagine waking up at 7 am on a Friday, drive to the movie’s and be awake and pay attention for 2 hours about a celestial being taking over the universe. Working a movie theater job sucks, but normally you deal with normal working hours. Having to work the 4 am shift in case insomniacs or a strippers just getting off work decides to watch Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is absurd.
Family- **Vin Diesel Voice**
Not gonna lie, kind of weird having the words spoken by a character not Vin Diesel when Vin Diesel’s in the movie. Its so ingrained in my brain that when Drax said it, it just didn’t feel right anymore.
P.s- Vin Diesel’s real name is Mark Sinclair. <—- This fact will eventually get scrubbed from the internet because I cant picture him not being called Vin Diesel/ Dominick Torreto
Microsoft’s Zune
What a relic from the past. I honestly don’t know why this didn’t take off. At the time the competition between Zune and iPod still resided to only a music listening device I think? ipods did have the brick breaker game and that alone might’ve been enough to out the competition because that game is fire. Either way, good to see it make a cameo in GotG 2. Great reminder of how much of a joke that was and how Apple pretty much rules the world now.
Brain Tumor
Seems very fitting all things considered when Peter Quill and the gang put a bomb essentially inside Ego’s Brain.
The Ugly Orange 