Monthly Archives: December 2015

ATTN Ladies: Aaron Ekblad Should Be Your Dream Man (But Stay Off, On The Off Chance Him And I Turn Gay And We Could Have A Chance For Each Other)

2015 NHL Awards - Nominee Media Availability

https://www.periscope.tv/w/1rmxPdZNNPnxN

So today I guess Ekblad took a trip to NHL studios and they set him up with a little periscope Q+A. Now normally I would skip these over, but not when it comes to my guy Aaron Ekblad. Now I had been under the assumption all along he was still with Claude Lemieux’s daughter, Claudia. Well I tuned in and boy did my ears perk up when he said he didn’t have a girlfriend. My mans on the open market! Mind went racing. Maybe I’ll hit up downtown Ft. Laudy more? Guy with that good looks has to be hitting up the town right? I can see him and Smith cruising Las Olas looking for tail. But that sounds so superficial. Yea obviously he’s a good looking dude. Guy has swedish blood in him, he was genetically predetermined to look like a model. But guess what? Ekblad is a genius too. I mean did you hear him slip it in a half way through that he was taking courses at Harvard(Yea he didn’t finish any but the fact that he’s trying is like probably the equivalent of getting a Masters at FSU)? Get out of here, Dominic Moore. You aint the only Harvard Alum in the NHL. My boy Aaron Ekblad is a learned man of higher education. So lets break it down: Professional Ice Hockey Defense Man in the NHL, who lives in a condo in Fort Lauderdale (i think) who makes millions, dabbles as a male model for John Varvatos, makes millions, is single, studies at the prestigious Ivy League Harvard University, is of swedish heritage and only NINETEEN years old. My god if i was a woman. I would just whore it out at BB&T with a giant billboard sign off I-75 asking Aaron to please come take me. Might even do it as a guy.

P.s- He could also play baseball at a professional level im pretty sure. Pretty sure that ground ball would’ve slipped Jeter’s glove and I’m pretty sure he hit that second one busted through the studio. Without cleats too.

Double P.S- According to George Richards, we got some details into the new jersey. Link to it here but let me give you the gist. Lot less blue, more red, and deeper gold with maybe a head logo of the Panthers. Gonna have a look similar to the Habs. I’m curious. Gonna be the biggest change since the franchise started and some players apparently think its cool so I’m on board. Kinda thinking with the red and gold it’ll look like the Iron man suit but if it pops on the ice then it pops.

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First Day On The Job Doing Yard Work, Kid Ends Up Getting Obliterated In A Wood Chipper. R.I.P.

(NEWSER) – A North Carolina teenager died one of the most horrific workplace deaths imaginable on his first day on the job. Mason Cox, 19, died on Saturday after being pulled feet-first into a wood chipper, police in Kings Mountain say.WSOC reports that co-workers who had been cutting down trees in a yard were so distressed by the sight of Cox’s body that they ran around ripping off their gloves and hats, causing neighbors to think that they were being attacked by bees. Police say John Crawford (some sources have him listed as Jon Crawford), the owner of Crawford’s Tree and Stump Grinding Service, was hospitalized after having a heart attack at the scene, the station reports.

Officials tell WRAL that Cox apparently became caught in the machine when he tried to kick a tree limb inside and his clothing snagged. Crawford, who has temporarily shut down the business, says Cox had been assigned a task considered safe for a beginner. “I’ve been in the business for 26 years. I’ve had one other accident where a person was injured. Mason Cox was working side by side with two experienced employees,” he tells WBTV, adding that he is grief-stricken over the incident. “I have not slept. I am sick from it,” he says. “I would trade places with that child right now.” Cox’s mother says she started screaming when she discovered how he died. “I loved him very much and I’m going to miss him very much,” she tells WBTV.

Brutal first day on the job for Mason, huh? Happens to the best of us really. Come in on the first day not making any friends, too scared to ask your boss to do anything and try to make it as long as you can before asking questions and looking like a fuck up but trying the best you can to make it till you clock out. I remember a friend of mine on their first day accidentally deleted the entire days record because he had no idea what the fuck to do and didn’t want to annoy people. Boom, all that money on the books just got cooked. Another friend of mine came in the first day hung over and dropped an entire pallet of milk because he was too much of a man to ask how to use the fork lift and tried to mop that shit up all before his managers lunch break ended. You know what that is? Its pride. Hubris beyond a reasonable level. Was it an idiot move to jam your foot down a wood chipper because a tree branch was stuck in it? Was it dumb to jam around fork lift controls like its a n64 controller? Yes. But at the end of the day theres a level of respect from me to know this kid had the balls to not show any signs of being a pussy and unsure of himself. He took a shot, and it obliterated him. RIP Mason, I’ll let the world know you didn’t go out a pussy, just, pride got the best of you.

Sometimes When You Kill A Man You Gotta Ease Your Mind By Going To Stripclubs

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A Florida man tried clearing his guilty conscience with a dirty mind. The gunman killed Tarrie Wilder, 42, and then drove about 10 miles south to the Sugar Daddy’s Gentlemen Club on Nov. 13, police said. Cops said Rodney Chavers, 41, went to the strip club to get his mind off the murder, the Sun Sentinel reported. At the jiggle joint, Chavers handed off the weapon to a friend, who told cops he assumed it was because the gunman wanted to get a lap dance. After starting a fight, the pistol-packing perv was thrown out for bringing a gun, cops said. A group of men kindly gave him a lift home, but were in for a surprise. During the ride, Chavers pulled out the gun and told the driver and passengers he killed a man after Wilder punched him in the face, according to a police report. The driver, freaked out by what he had heard, pulled into a gas station after Chavers fell asleep, and called the cops. At about 5:20 a.m. on Nov. 14, cops found the creep snoozing with the gun on his lap. A forensic scientist determined the pistol was used to kill Wilder, according to reports. Chavers is charged with second-degree murder and is being held without bail. During his first court appearance on Tuesday morning, the alleged killer blew a kiss to the crowd, the Palm Beach Post reported.

NYDN- A Florida man tried clearing his guilty conscience with a dirty mind.
The gunman killed Tarrie Wilder, 42, and then drove about 10 miles south to the Sugar Daddy’s Gentlemen Club on Nov. 13, police said.
Cops said Rodney Chavers, 41, went to the strip club to get his mind off the murder, the Sun Sentinel reported.
At the jiggle joint, Chavers handed off the weapon to a friend, who told cops he assumed it was because the gunman wanted to get a lap dance.
After starting a fight, the pistol-packing perv was thrown out for bringing a gun, cops said. A group of men kindly gave him a lift home, but were in for a surprise.
During the ride, Chavers pulled out the gun and told the driver and passengers he killed a man after Wilder punched him in the face, according to a police report.
The driver, freaked out by what he had heard, pulled into a gas station after Chavers fell asleep, and called the cops.
At about 5:20 a.m. on Nov. 14, cops found the creep snoozing with the gun on his lap.
A forensic scientist determined the pistol was used to kill Wilder, according to reports.
Chavers is charged with second-degree murder and is being held without bail.
During his first court appearance on Tuesday morning, the alleged killer blew a kiss to the crowd, the Palm Beach Post reported.

I know people want to say he’s an idiot but can anyone really blame the guy? Going into a strip club sometimes is another world. Its like you’re in a weird drug high sometimes. Theres smoke everywhere, crazy purple lights and trance music playing. Titties everywhere. It puts you in a haze and i know i can’t think straight when I’m in one. Its like bar science where its a place designed to cloud every bit of judgement and make you spend hundreds. If I were to murder a guy, i probably wouldn’t mind getting in some weird high of a place like that. Honestly you can’t think about the murder you just did when a girls rubbing her nipples right in your face and whispering in your ear about needing more money so she’ll blow you for 100$ more. Its a huge distraction. Rodney Chavers here knows it and you know what? The strippers probably don’t care either, they just want the money. I mean look at that place? Sugar D’s at this point looks like a run down trap house being that small and ugly. You think they’re making headlines because they harbored a murderer for a few hours? Their regulars are all probably criminals. This isn’t Scarlett’s where they try to run a legit business or Madonnas where its the novelty strip club on South Beach, this is Sugar D’s, some no name titty bar in West Palm which probably has gone through a couple of raids for illegal shit in there annually.

People Are Upset This Lady Witnessed A Fatal Car Accident And Just Went About Her Day Eating Pizza (P.s- I kinda love that move)

On Sunday in Fort Greene, Brooklyn, a car lost control and jumped a curb, mowing down three people, killing one of them, a 30-year-old woman. Strangely, another woman was walking by, munching on a slice of pizza, and the car came to a stop just before hitting her. Then, she casually turned around and walked away, continuing to chow down on her slice. The whole thing was caught on surveillance footage, obtained by DNAinfo: It’s something that would make George Costanza proud. You can almost hear the Seinfeld bass riff playing as she wanders off, greedily stuffing pizza in her face. The driver of the car was arrested for driving without a license. The two other victims are in stable condition. The hungry woman is presumably eating pizza in front of some other terrible tragedy.

DeathAndTaxes- On Sunday in Fort Greene, Brooklyn, a car lost control and jumped a curb, mowing down three people, killing one of them, a 30-year-old woman.
Strangely, another woman was walking by, munching on a slice of pizza, and the car came to a stop just before hitting her. Then, she casually turned around and walked away, continuing to chow down on her slice.
The whole thing was caught on surveillance footage, obtained by DNAinfo:
It’s something that would make George Costanza proud. You can almost hear the Seinfeld bass riff playing as she wanders off, greedily stuffing pizza in her face.
The driver of the car was arrested for driving without a license. The two other victims are in stable condition. The hungry woman is presumably eating pizza in front of some other terrible tragedy.

Cold as ice. Man I don’t know what it is. I certainly don’t like that someone died in this tragic accident, but I just love how much this chick doesn’t care. I’m not saying its a redeeming quality in a woman. I want to love a women who values life and understands emotions. But something about her just brushing off a SUV jumping a curb and taking out 3 people and continuing about her day just gets me to intrigued. I’m not so much as disgusted, as I just want to get into her mind state to the point and figure out everything about her and her thought process. Has she just seen so much shit in her life that a death occurring right in front of her eyes doesn’t even phase her? Is she blind because it kinda looks like she’s wearing sunglasses at night? Maybe she’s intoxicated? Where’s that Pizza from? Does she do toppings with it? I need to know!

And look all the people giving her shit, what could she honestly do? Something tells me she doesn’t practice medicine as a profession so its not like she could really save their life right? Most she could do is dial 911 and I’m assuming others were there to do that so calling twice really doesn’t solve anything. Maybe her brain processed all of this in a millisecond and came to the obvious conclusion to finish off her slice and chill at home? Listen people die all the time. Its tragic. But you know what, its 2015 and frankly its a little refreshing to see a person not interfering at all, and thus not being an asshole who tries to record everything. I mean don’t get me wrong, If no one recorded shit on the streets this blog would be garbage, but deep down we all hate the assholes with cameras in your face or getting in your way because they want to record shit from their iPhone in the hopes of making things go viral. You’re on the highway and people are rubbernecking slowing down traffic to try to record the quick video of a wreck. People pulling out their cameras at every arrest in hopes of catching the cops abuse their power. Well fuck all that. This lady just doesn’t give a fuck about any of that and knows she just has to take care of number 1 and what number 1 wants is to finish the pizza. Love the move.

P.s- That would be some grand irony shit right? The woman that cares so much about not being involved or care to go viral that when she gets caught up in this accident, she goes viral about how much she doesn’t care. Irony.

Meet Arthur Boyt, A Man Who’s Eaten Road Kill Since He Was 13

The Gaurdian- A Cornish man famous for eating badgers and other roadkill has added an even more unusual item to his Christmas larder – a dolphin he found washed up on a beach. Arthur Boyt, 76, has spent years feasting on dead animals he has salvaged from roads, including weasels, hedgehogs, squirrels and otters. Last Christmas Boyt, a retired marine biologist, tucked into a badger casserole, but this festive season his menu will be spiced up with dolphin meat. Boyt has already had a taste of his find. “I’ve got to admit, it’s nothing to write home about,” he said. “It’s not very fishy or oily. I fried it up and it was quite tough.” Boyt does not buy meat and has been eating roadkill since the age of 13; he says his oddest meal was probably a bat he bought back from holiday. “The great thing about roadkill is knowing that the animal hasn’t been purposely killed,” he said. “I feel very strongly about killing animals, so strongly, I can only just about manage a chicken leg at a party or something. I would never buy meat.” Boyt is spending Christmas Day with his mother-in-law who is cooking a turkey, so he has the option of something a little more traditional if the dolphin does not appeal on 25 December. His wife, Su, will be eating neither dolphin nor turkey as she is a vegetarian. Conservationists, however, are not impressed. Danny Groves, a spokesman for the whales and dolphin conservation charity WDC, said anyone who came across a stranded animal, alive or dead, should report it to a cetacean strandings investigation programme (CSIP) hotline. Groves said animals could be carrying diseases and pointed out dolphins are considered “royal fish” belonging to the crown. The government’s official advice for dealing with a dead dolphin is also to call the hotline rather than taking it home and eating it. “If you think the whale or dolphin is dead call the hotline and let them know where you found the animal,” it says. “To avoid disease, don’t have any contact with the dead animal without the right protective clothing, eg thick rubber gloves.” Boyt argues he has spent years eating found meat without any ill effects. As to the dolphin being a royal fish? “I don’t suppose the Queen will be interested in getting back a dolphin that has been dead for a month or more.”

The Guardian– A Cornish man famous for eating badgers and other roadkill has added an even more unusual item to his Christmas larder – a dolphin he found washed up on a beach.
Arthur Boyt, 76, has spent years feasting on dead animals he has salvaged from roads, including weasels, hedgehogs, squirrels and otters.
Last Christmas Boyt, a retired marine biologist, tucked into a badger casserole, but this festive season his menu will be spiced up with dolphin meat.
Boyt has already had a taste of his find. “I’ve got to admit, it’s nothing to write home about,” he said. “It’s not very fishy or oily. I fried it up and it was quite tough.”
Boyt does not buy meat and has been eating roadkill since the age of 13; he says his oddest meal was probably a bat he bought back from holiday.
“The great thing about roadkill is knowing that the animal hasn’t been purposely killed,” he said. “I feel very strongly about killing animals, so strongly, I can only just about manage a chicken leg at a party or something. I would never buy meat.”
Boyt is spending Christmas Day with his mother-in-law who is cooking a turkey, so he has the option of something a little more traditional if the dolphin does not appeal on 25 December. His wife, Su, will be eating neither dolphin nor turkey as she is a vegetarian.
Conservationists, however, are not impressed. Danny Groves, a spokesman for the whales and dolphin conservation charity WDC, said anyone who came across a stranded animal, alive or dead, should report it to a cetacean strandings investigation programme (CSIP) hotline.
Groves said animals could be carrying diseases and pointed out dolphins are considered “royal fish” belonging to the crown.
The government’s official advice for dealing with a dead dolphin is also to call the hotline rather than taking it home and eating it. “If you think the whale or dolphin is dead call the hotline and let them know where you found the animal,” it says. “To avoid disease, don’t have any contact with the dead animal without the right protective clothing, eg thick rubber gloves.”
Boyt argues he has spent years eating found meat without any ill effects. As to the dolphin being a royal fish? “I don’t suppose the Queen will be interested in getting back a dolphin that has been dead for a month or more.”

Well now that this guy is out and in the media, I 100% expect the government detain him and run a full blood panel on him and run lab results all on this dude. You don’t just go 70+ years of life eating road kill and bush meat and live a totally normal healthy life. There has to be something to his body. Either he has a belly full of tape worms ravaging his organs and we don’t know about it or he has a stomach that’s completely resistant to all types of parasites. If he said he ate road kill like a deer that was freshly hit on the road, okay, I’d buy that one maybe (I’ve actually heard of people doing this). But we’re not talking about venison that’s been killed by a truck going 75 mph on its ass. We’re talking about eating fucking otters and weasels. This dude brought home a dead badger to feast on for Christmas dinner. That’s not fucking normal. None of that can be normal. Its meat can’t be normal. If I’ve learned anything from The Office its that bats can carry rabies and this guy is just casually eating them because he brought them back from vacation. That would be like bringing back salt water taffy from Atlantic city except the salt water taffy can contain a viral disease that causes acute inflammation of the brain.

I tell ya something isn’t right with this guy. If anything, whatever parasite he’s eaten has probably gotten to his brain already if i can guess anything from him. I mean you think his logic is sound here? Would never buy meat from the grocery story because he thinks killing animals is bad? Yea I’m gonna assume there’s a bug gnawing at his neocortex. Go enjoy your rubbery dolphin meat, Arthur, but you probably have something keeping you alive from bad meat and if that is the case I’m gonna want the CDC to quarantine and examine your ass.

This Fish Straight Up Devours His Tankmate

How the F is that even possible. I don’t 100% understand the anatomy of a fish but something tells me that any living creatures Body Mass Index wouldn’t allow for that to happen. You can’t just fold a fish inside of you especially when that thing is pretty much the same size. I mean yea that dude must be full as fuck and probably will take a month to shit out his friend but regardless thats just not normal for anything living to be able to fully eat something the same size as you.

Marlins Hire Barry Bonds As The New Hitting Coach.

Now this story came out last friday but guess what? I didn’t remember till today so boom. Its like im re-breaking news.

Anyways, Barry Bonds. Now Im going to start off by saying, i don’t think good hitter translates to good hitting coach. Especially contributing to a whole roster. It feels a little bit like a flashy move. Sign Mattingly, sign Barry Bonds, one of the most famous player in baseball because of his stats and steroid controversy. It’s a lot of using big names when nothing has yet to be proven. Who knows how well he’ll be at coaching. But either way, i like it. If anything i feel like it’ll bring in a couple dozen more people to the park and if you can create a winning atmosphere, the confidence grows. Get a well recognized hitter imparting wisdom on the bench I think will really help out this group. Especially with this new crop of youngsters who can appreciate being managed by names like Mattingly and Bonds. People are pointing to Bonds working with Arod and Dexter Fowler who both had a good season. Yea it might be a small sample size but still worth trying since the Marlins might actually be going for it with the coaching change and the young players. If Bonds can get Stanton to that next stratosphere then no one would doubt the hiring and if the rest of the roster improves along with it, im more than willing to bet that they’d be putting asses in the seats at Marlins park.