Category Archives: Uncategorized

Fuck This Dude With Out Legs Running On A Treadmill

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Hey buddy, do you have lactic acid burning your entire lower region? No cause you don’t have a lower region anymore. I don’t want to be crass here but its the fact. Don’t go throwing around try hard inspirational videos that are a sham. Oh look at me, I can burn fat like crazy with out legs. False, you lost half your weight because your legs are gone. Like that Blade Runner dude who was actually a murderer. People thought it was great to see a guy run who has prosthetic legs. Wrong. He had like fucking robotic legs that can’t get tired and are made out of light weight carbon fiber. Way to teach the kids that they can be faster if they cut off their legs.

No One Has Looked More Comfortable Rag Dolling A Guy Than This Alleged Rapist In Baby blue Eeyore Pajama Onsie

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What a wild time in Vegas. First off, all those people just walking about like this wasn’t gonna be a prized fight about to go down in typical historic Vegas fashion is crazy. People pay thousands to watch a Mayweather fight live. This was a billion times better. You don’t have the regular stare down between boxers saying the other is going to beat the shit out of the other one. Instead we got people accusing people of being a rapist and the other party claiming he was drugged and that they stripped him of everything. Pacquiao never had any of that go down at the press conference. But the fight itself, bananas. First off if you’re gonna bring in a foreign object like a guitar into the mix, you gotta swing that thing like an Ax. You can’t bring your body half closer to try to gun butt the guy with your guitar with out getting susceptible to hits. And once he made that mistake it was pretty much over for him. But you know what was the absolute knock out? It was when Eeyore mustered ever last bit of strength he had to lift him 6 inches off the ground to body slam the guy into a coma. By far some of the weakest, yet thrilling match ups I’ve ever seen in a fight. Kind of need Jim Lampley calling this fight and Larry Merchant interviewing the pajama onsies guy afterward and ask him if he did in fact rape that girl. I mean we dont even need to get into the fact that the guy is in fact wearing a Baby blue Eeyore onsies pajama suit. Thats just Vegas being Vegas.

P.s- The guitar gun butt thing, thats one thing that always frustrated the shit out of me back then watching WWF. Always a feeling of being cheapened out when Triple H would pull out the sledge hammer and half over it with his hand and just ding the guys head with it. Thats no way to use a sledge hammer. I know it’s just entertainment but I wanted him to drop the hammer on mother fuckers like he was chopping wood with it. Obviously it would be manslaughter if he did that but if you’re gonna throw a sledge hammer into the mix then you kind of have to use it that way. At least use it to pound Kurt Angle’s ankles into dust.

I Don’t Hate This Felon’s Move For Hiding Behind A Massive Teddy Bear

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WASHINGTON — News Release / Pierce County Sheriff — On the afternoon of Thursday March 9, two Department of Corrections officers conducted a compliance check on a subject who was on active DOC supervision at a residence on 28th Ave. E. in the Brookdale area of Tacoma. The deputies in our Gang Unit assisted in the compliance check because DOC had information that another person living in the residence had an active felony warrant for his arrest.
When deputies entered the residence they were told the wanted man was in the house. As they walked through the house, deputies initially did not see the see the suspect… but they did see a giant 6 foot tall stuffed teddy bear in the corner of one of the bedrooms… and the suspect was crouched down hiding behind it.

If there’s one thing that separates me from a normal intelligent functioning society, its the fact that I’ll believe whatever I see on a big screen if it’s convincing enough. I keep telling myself it’s outrageous we have to pay a monthly electric bill when we can just use arc reactor technology for clean sustainable free energy. Oh the world has a zika virus break out? Why the fuck aren’t we using the Ganali Device like in The Amazing Spiderman 2 and just cure the world one city at a time. Well tell me you havent seen this move play out before in movies? I mean what is even the point of these massive Costco sized 7 foot stuffed bears if not for hiding something illegal behind. I mean these things are MASSIVE. The only bad thing is theres no zipper for these i dont think in which case would be great cause you can probably just hide inside the damn teddy bear and no one would be the wiser. It probably has to do with the fact that the bear looks so god damn innocent. Would never think its used to conceal a criminal. I mean the fact is the first sweep around, they had no fucking idea the crook was hiding behind one of these. Happens in movies and happens in real life. Next time find a room full of stuffed animals and just have them cover your body and i bet they’ll just glance over it while you’re dead staring them in the face.

Why On Earth Were These Canadian People Just Driving On A Frozen Lake All Willy Nilly Until The Ice Cracked And Swallowed Their Truck.

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Not gonna lie, being at this southern tip of South Florida really makes me feel like I’m disconnected from the world some times. Do people just willy nilly drive on frozen lakes up in the north? Like I know you can skate on it and ice fish but can you really drive across a frozen lake on a 5000 pound vehicle that’s powered by a combustion engine that gets warmer as it runs? Doesn’t seem like the most ideal method on crossing a frozen lake. Not gonna lie I dont know how anyone travels in the snow. I want to visit a snow area badly with my Husky but between winter tires and all wheel drive and trekking across ice lakes that your car can fall through, i have no idea if I’d ever survive making the journey north in one piece. Thousand percent chance I end up skidding on black ice into a frozen lake that just crumples like a sheet of tissue paper underneath. But I’m a south floridian, shame on these canadians for not knowing.

We Got Another HIGHLY Venomous Cobra Loose In Central Florida

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HP- A central Florida neighborhood is on high alert after a man reported his two-foot suphan cobra missing on Monday night.
The highly venomous snake likely slithered out of its enclosure at a home in Oviedo around 9 p.m. It’s not yet clear whether it escaped the residence, the Florida Wildlife Commission said.
The snake’s owner, Brian Purdy, holds a venomous reptile permit. He reported his pet missing just after 11 p.m., wildlife officials said.
Purdy said he wasn’t home when the snake escaped. Instead, a man who had been shadowing him to obtain his own venomous reptiles permit opened its enclosure, the Ocala Star Banner reported, citing police.
The other man, who was using a shield for protection, opened the enclosure because he couldn’t see the animal inside, Purdy said. The cobra jumped at the man and then slid away. The man said he had made sure that the room was secured.

What a fucking asshole. At least once a year there’s one guy that lets a snake run wild that has the killing power of a god. What do these guys even do with a snake? Do they take it out for a walk? Try to pick up girls with a snake? No. They just keep them in Tupperware and let them stew and hate them and then feed them a mouse once every 3 days. I can get having fish because I’m asian and they look nice but if you get an animal that you can’t play with like outside and makes humans happier in life, then what the fuck are you doing it for? I’ve told this story before but I had a buddy who lives snakes and shit. Held one to me one time and said “look how cute it is!” It wasn’t Snakes don’t smile. Dogs do. My buddy ended up on a 3 month period where he binged heroin cause he made terrible life decisions. This guy let an animal lose which is the equivalent of a terrorist on the lose. Only difference between a snake and an ISIS member is this ones small and agile and can hide in small crevices and strike when no ones looking. This asshole let a terrorist on the lose so he should be detained and prisoned.

I’m Gonna Give This Charlize Theron Movie “Atomic Blonde” A Chance.

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I’ll be absolutely frank here. I think in an effort to be original and steadfast in my own beliefs that I have become jaded and assume everything is a gimmick and nothing screams gimmick for a movie like lesbian scenes between some gunslinger chick. It’s like just printing money at that point because we’re all mindless horny idiots who will absolutely watch that in theaters and on DVD and on Demand. Now I like Charlize Theron. Maybe more so don’t hate her as opposed to like her but she’s done no real wrong in my book I don’t think so I’m gonna give this an unbiased watch. Its like a British government John Wick with a lesbian type movie. If It’s anything like John Wick, I’m sure it’ll be close to a cult classic/ smash hit. I can get down with that.

 

If You Live In Florida You Can Make Money Killing Pythons

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WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) — The state agency overseeing Everglades restoration projects plans to pay people to kill Burmese pythons in the wetlands.

The South Florida Water Management District said in a statement Thursday that 25 people will be selected for a 60-day pilot program that aims to remove the invasive predators from state-owned lands.

Starting April 1, participants will be given special access to python-infested district property in Miami-Dade County. They’ll be paid minimum wage up to eight hours each day, plus $50 per python. They’ll receive extra money for snakes measuring longer than 4 feet and for eliminating python nests with eggs.

Registration begins Friday at www.sfwmd.gov/pythonprogram.

Officials say pythons are decimating populations of native Florida mammals, which deprives panthers, alligators, bobcats and birds of their primary food source in the Everglades.

If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m too much of a pussy to go out looking for these snakes in anything short of an Iron Man suit, I would sign up for this gig in a heart beat. Got a 12 gauge fitted with the bells and whistles of lights and extra shell holder loaded with 00 buck and slugs ready to mow down the fucking snake population that’s decimating the habitat of native Floridian creatures. Not to mention, its not a bad gig either, just bucking snakes for minimum wage plus commission per snake. Not a bad day for doing gods work literally obliterating reincarnations of the devil. They only problem with me doing it, it i would absolutely get scared, slipped in a marsh swamp or something and end up getting all of my bones crushed to death and swallowed whole.  But if you are more masculine than me, you can be one out of 20 something people protecting Florida’s wildlife decapitating one snake at a time.

P.s- I dont mess around.

Using Your Wrongful Conviction Settlement Money To Rebuild Your Street Gang Is Not A Great Way To Spend TWENTY FIVE MILLION DOLLARS

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CHICAGO (WSVN) — A gang leader who was awarded $25 million in a wrongful conviction lawsuit is heading back behind bars after using his settlement to rebuild his street gang.
According to Fox 5, U.S. District Judge Harry Leinenweber on Thursday sentenced 38-year-old Thaddeus Jimenez to over nine years in prison for weapons charges, after video showed him shooting rival gang members. The sentence comes five years after Jimenez sued the city of Chicago and the police department for a wrongful murder conviction.
The incriminating video was shot on an iPhone by Jimenez’s co-defendent Jose Roman, showing the pair driving around the city in August of 2015. Prosecutors said the two were looking for rival gang members. The video shows Jimenez shooting former gang member Earl Casteel in both legs before driving away.
Both Jimenez and Roman pleaded guilty to federal weapons charges, but will be back in court to stand trial in Casteel’s shooting.
At just 13 years old, Jimenez was charged with the 1993 murder of a 19-year-old gang member. He was released from prison in 2009 after witnesses recanted their testimony.
After winning the $25 million settlement, the Chicago Tribune reports that Jimenez spent millions on luxury cars for both himself and his gang, the Simon City Royals. The paper reports he also started a social media campaign to grow the gang, and paid members to tattoo their faces with the gang’s insignia.

I don’t want to get myself killed here but I’m gonna flat out say it. Gang members are dumb. They’re incredibly street savvy and smart when it comes to doing what they do specifically. Smuggling balloons of coke in their buttholes, hiding packs of cocaine in the under carriage and the inside of their car bumpers. They fucking used chemistry and science to synthesize a new potent form of drugs derived from cocaine, which is some how a plant that was turned into a powdered drug,  that is much cheaper, gets people much higher, and gets drug lords paid much more. All of the things that strictly apply to criminals and drug users they probably are a master of their craft. But when it comes to real world, which they live in, they are idiots.

Does god himself need to fly down and tell you how big of a blessing it is to be awarded 25 million dollars of United States currency? Not to mention that shit isn’t even taxable! Like winning an enormous sum from the lottery is fun too but that shit gets chopped in half by taxes. This you get 25 millions free and you get to tell yourself that you beat the law. I would just run away from what ever gang life you have and just live easy for the rest of time. Like in the end of the day, a job is a job. Whether its accounting or working a restaurant or distributing narcotics throughout the city, the goal in the end should be to make enough money to walk away and live the rest of your life comfortably. How have cautionary tales not become a thing among gangs. Pablo Escobar could’ve walked away once he had his dinosaur ranch in Medellin. Just hand over the keys to the next guy but you make a blood pact that you become untouchable from that point on. Cause it’s like you can’t kill your boss who hands you the keys to the kingdom. On the small scale now for every day drug operations, this is enough. 25 Million is enough for one dude to just leave this all behind and if other gang members are insulted by that, they can go kick rocks. The end game is Money and relaxation. This guy had it handed to him and he fucking wasted it. Deserves jail alone just for that.

I will say though, the video of him just casually shooting a dudes Knee Caps is WILD.

LINK TO VIDEO HERE

LINK TO VIDEO HERE

LINK TO VIDEO HERE

LINK TO VIDEO HERE

Lady Drives From Upstate New York To Arkansas To Dump A Body In A Suitcase For What Seems To Be No Apparent Reason

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DailyMail- Police in two states say they are trying to figure out why a woman hauled an elderly man’s body in a suitcase more than 1,000 miles from upstate New York to Arkansas and then dumped it in a rice field.
Virginia Colvin, 56, faces a preliminary charge of abuse of a corpse.
Investigators say they are still seeking a motive.
Police say the body found Sunday at a farm 50 miles northeast of Little Rock appears to be that of a man who died in Johnstown, New York.
The body has been sent to an Arkansas crime lab to be identified and to pinpoint how he died.
‘At this point in time, we believe that he died of natural causes,’ Johnstown Police Lt. Dave Gilbo told News 10 ABC in Albany, New York.
‘We just can’t determine why the body was transported from here to Arkansas.’

This might make me a terrible criminal and a bad person to hire to dump a body but part of me thinks this would work. Like sure they could of stuffed the body in a black of cement and tossed it in a lake or dismember the dude and have him found in 6 different zip codes or what ever the old saying is in mob movies but I kinda like Virginia’s plan that I call the old Western/Southern method, the only problem is she didn’t follow through with it. See I feel like in desert type places and bum fuck no where lands in Arkansas or Texas or the Dakotas you can get away with getting rid of a body if you just buried it. Not like just dig a whole and dump a corpse and pray no one finds it. But literally bury the body, cover it up, and throw a tomb stone on it or fashion a cross and lay some flowers over it. Virginia fucked up by just tossing a suitcase on the side of the road with buzzards probably trying to pick the locks for food. Once Police stumble upon that it becomes a whole big thing of a crime scene. But I feel like if cops or any one from the sticks drives by and sees a wooden cross and a proper burial I think they would just take off their hats and say “Welp, that must be where old Boo Radley got buried” and continue on with their day. Gotta respect the dead that’s buried. Their first thought isn’t gonna be “O shit that’s a dead body, we gotta call the cops” if they don’t see one.  You might not be able to get away with this shit in places where people mosey around all the time but in some southern bible country, you definitely can.

But yea transporting a dead body for no apparent reason is weird and super gross smelling probably.

Comedian/Actor Faizon Love From The Replacements Ragdolls The Shit Out Of This Dude At An Airport

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COLUMBUS, Ohio – Actor and comedian Faizon Love is accused of assaulting a man at John Glenn Columbus International Airport Tuesday afternoon, according to court documents filed with Franklin County Municipal Court.
Love and a man were in a verbal argument when Love grabbed the man by his neck and threw him on the ground and into a desk according to court documents.
The documents show the man says he was cut above his eye.
The incident happened near the valet booth in baggage claim.
Court records show Love was arrested and charged with a misdemeanor count of assault.
The records do not show what the argument was about.

I want to give props to the guy who got tossed around by a guy 3 times his size and lived to tell about it but I also don’t want to reward dumb behavior such as mouthing off to Faizon Love. I don’t know what the dispute was about so I’m not gonna say whether or not it was justifiable as men to get into a physical altercation.  I mean an airport has to be one of the most high stressed situation in the world with baggage issues and the longest waiting game between boarding, flying, waiting to leave the airport. I can get you don’t want to be disrespected by some passenger even if he is in movies and is some what well known, but the second Faizon Love steps up right in your grill mix you should be smart enough to not poke the bear. I mean have you seen how fast this guy escalates situations?

Best case scenario this guy gets a cut around his eye and gets tossed around a little where the worst case scenario is a Glock 9mm being fired off into your windshield.  But you know who did play this scenario right? This old ass security guard looking airport worker.

Literally rushed to the scene just so he can get a good view of his fellow co worker getting the shit kicked out of him by a grizzly bear of a man. Hands in pocket, probably whispering commentary to the guy next to him. Staying clear of injury. Smart play by him.