If You Live In Florida You Can Make Money Killing Pythons

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) — The state agency overseeing Everglades restoration projects plans to pay people to kill Burmese pythons in the wetlands.

The South Florida Water Management District said in a statement Thursday that 25 people will be selected for a 60-day pilot program that aims to remove the invasive predators from state-owned lands.

Starting April 1, participants will be given special access to python-infested district property in Miami-Dade County. They’ll be paid minimum wage up to eight hours each day, plus $50 per python. They’ll receive extra money for snakes measuring longer than 4 feet and for eliminating python nests with eggs.

Registration begins Friday at www.sfwmd.gov/pythonprogram.

Officials say pythons are decimating populations of native Florida mammals, which deprives panthers, alligators, bobcats and birds of their primary food source in the Everglades.

If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m too much of a pussy to go out looking for these snakes in anything short of an Iron Man suit, I would sign up for this gig in a heart beat. Got a 12 gauge fitted with the bells and whistles of lights and extra shell holder loaded with 00 buck and slugs ready to mow down the fucking snake population that’s decimating the habitat of native Floridian creatures. Not to mention, its not a bad gig either, just bucking snakes for minimum wage plus commission per snake. Not a bad day for doing gods work literally obliterating reincarnations of the devil. They only problem with me doing it, it i would absolutely get scared, slipped in a marsh swamp or something and end up getting all of my bones crushed to death and swallowed whole.  But if you are more masculine than me, you can be one out of 20 something people protecting Florida’s wildlife decapitating one snake at a time.

P.s- I dont mess around.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s