Tag Archives: Bagels

The Poppy Seed Bagel Strikes Again

WSVN- TOWSON, Md. (AP) — A Maryland woman has discovered that eating a poppy seed bagel before giving birth carries serious consequences.
Elizabeth Eden told WBAL-TV in Baltimore she was in labor in April when a doctor told her she had tested positive for opiates. The test result meant Eden’s daughter had to stay in the hospital for five days while her mother was assigned a case worker.
Eden said she had learned in a school health class that eating poppy seeds could cause a false positive.
“I said, ‘Well, can you test me again? And I ate a poppy seed bagel this morning for breakfast,’ and [the doctor] said, ‘No, you’ve been reported to the state,’” Eden recalled to the news outlet.
After acknowledging the bagel defense, the case worker closed Eden’s file.
The Federal Institute for Risk Assessment writes that until food manufacturers reduce morphine levels in poppy seeds, it advises against excessive consumption, particularly during pregnancy.

How is it that in 2018, with all medical advancements in the world, so much technology implemented in the medical field, people are still falling victim to the Poppy Seed. Why the fuck are bagel shops still serving it on their menus? Why the fuck are people ordering them still? I don’t think I’ve ever had the inclination to order just a poppy seed bagel. They come on everything bagels but that’s because they play a small roll in every other flavor I’m tasting in my breakfast food. I can’t even describe what a poppy seed taste like off the top of my head so i don’t even understand why this lady would order one. Have people not seen the Seinfeld episode? They get stuck in your teeth and the flavor is probably so minuscule that the cream cheese or butter on the bagel just eviscerated the taste of it all together so you might as well just get a plain bagel and save your self the hassle of picking in between your teeth to get the small opium pods out.

Also ruthless on this doctors part to just report her to the state for being a reckless opium addicted mother to a newborn baby. Such an extreme result from a poor breakfast choice. Imagine the chain of events. You have a poppy seed bagel, hoping some how that’s enough nourishment for you, and the baby you’re carrying. Probably an hour or two later you go into labor. An 8+ hour struggle begins as you experience the pains of labor with nothing to eat but ice chips.  Finally in the 11th hour the birth is a success and you’re happy because you see the miracle of life for the first time and you’re so over whelmed with joy that your baby is alive and healthy. Exhausted from what people consider, the greatest joy in life, you take a small nap. Next thing you know you’re handcuffed to the hospital bed with 2 police officers on either side standing patrol to make sure you don’t escape. Doctors evaluating your drug habit and them leveling the decision to take your baby away because they don’t think you’re fit to be a mother. All from a poppy seed bagel. Wild.

P.s.- Remember 50 Cent’s song Baltimore Love Thing? Well that was about how Baltimore has the highest heroin user rate so there is a small chance Elizabeth Eden was on something

Advertisements

Whats The Play On The Tear Apart Bagel?

Source- There's more than one way to slice a bagel – so says Einstein Bros. Bagels. Their new Twist N' Dip bagel exposes the delicate underbelly of the bagel-eating world: those of us (myself included, TBH) who snub the traditional hemispheric slice-and-schmear method in favor of breaking off bits of bagel and dipping them in the cream cheese a little or a lot at the time (double-dipping encouraged).

Source– There’s more than one way to slice a bagel – so says Einstein Bros. Bagels.
Their new Twist N’ Dip bagel exposes the delicate underbelly of the bagel-eating world: those of us (myself included, TBH) who snub the traditional hemispheric slice-and-schmear method in favor of breaking off bits of bagel and dipping them in the cream cheese a little or a lot at the time (double-dipping encouraged).

I love food but hate the “food community.” I hate people that think you’re suppose to eat things a certain way, but on the other hand, i also hate people that do weird shit with their food. I know its contradictory in ways but thats just how I am. Well with bagels ive had tons of push and pull on how I eat bagels. I grew up eating bagels with little tubs of cream cheese so I’m 100% on the tear apart group. when i go to New York however i get a bagel and once i started ripping it into bite size pieces i got people looking at me like im the social pariah as if i physically did not know how to eat a bagel from the the ordering process to the chewing process down to the digestion process. Its absurd how much people judge one another on how they eat a god damn breakfast food. Like yea if i had a sausage egg and cheese on a bagel ill eat it like a sandwich, but if we’re talking just plain cream cheese? Rip and dip is much easier. New York bagel places don’t do you any favors by taking like a pound of cream cheese inbetween your bagel that inevitably gets squeezed out because they serve that shit all wrong. Im done living with conformity when it comes to breakfast menus. Rip and dip all the way on bagels.

Also underrated is butter on bagel. I know people still do it, but it should really be 50/50 cream cheese or butter.