WSVN- TOWSON, Md. (AP) — A Maryland woman has discovered that eating a poppy seed bagel before giving birth carries serious consequences. Elizabeth Eden told WBAL-TV in Baltimore she was in labor in April when a doctor told her she had tested positive for opiates. The test result meant Eden’s daughter had to stay in the hospital for five days while her mother was assigned a case worker. Eden said she had learned in a school health class that eating poppy seeds could cause a false positive. “I said, ‘Well, can you test me again? And I ate a poppy seed bagel this morning for breakfast,’ and [the doctor] said, ‘No, you’ve been reported to the state,’” Eden recalled to the news outlet. After acknowledging the bagel defense, the case worker closed Eden’s file. The Federal Institute for Risk Assessment writes that until food manufacturers reduce morphine levels in poppy seeds, it advises against excessive consumption, particularly during pregnancy.
How is it that in 2018, with all medical advancements in the world, so much technology implemented in the medical field, people are still falling victim to the Poppy Seed. Why the fuck are bagel shops still serving it on their menus? Why the fuck are people ordering them still? I don’t think I’ve ever had the inclination to order just a poppy seed bagel. They come on everything bagels but that’s because they play a small roll in every other flavor I’m tasting in my breakfast food. I can’t even describe what a poppy seed taste like off the top of my head so i don’t even understand why this lady would order one. Have people not seen the Seinfeld episode? They get stuck in your teeth and the flavor is probably so minuscule that the cream cheese or butter on the bagel just eviscerated the taste of it all together so you might as well just get a plain bagel and save your self the hassle of picking in between your teeth to get the small opium pods out.
Also ruthless on this doctors part to just report her to the state for being a reckless opium addicted mother to a newborn baby. Such an extreme result from a poor breakfast choice. Imagine the chain of events. You have a poppy seed bagel, hoping some how that’s enough nourishment for you, and the baby you’re carrying. Probably an hour or two later you go into labor. An 8+ hour struggle begins as you experience the pains of labor with nothing to eat but ice chips. Finally in the 11th hour the birth is a success and you’re happy because you see the miracle of life for the first time and you’re so over whelmed with joy that your baby is alive and healthy. Exhausted from what people consider, the greatest joy in life, you take a small nap. Next thing you know you’re handcuffed to the hospital bed with 2 police officers on either side standing patrol to make sure you don’t escape. Doctors evaluating your drug habit and them leveling the decision to take your baby away because they don’t think you’re fit to be a mother. All from a poppy seed bagel. Wild.
P.s.- Remember 50 Cent’s song Baltimore Love Thing? Well that was about how Baltimore has the highest heroin user rate so there is a small chance Elizabeth Eden was on something
NYDN- A dispute over underwear between Derek Jeter and 50 Cent has turned the rapper into a Mets fan. Jeter angered the Queens-born MC after backing out of a deal to promote a line of swanky skivvies because he feared 50 Cent would make the brand too “urban,” according to reports. Jeter is being sued for nearly $5 million in Sweden for reneging on his promise to promote the undie brand Frigo, according to a lawsuit obtained by TMZ.com. “Fifty was totally shocked to hear Jeter felt this way,” a source told the Daily News. The then-Yankees captain signed a three-year deal in 2011 to be a director of the company and agreed to participate in major publicity events, the suit alleges. But the baseball great allegedly got his knickers in a bunch in 2013, telling the owners he didn’t want his relationship with the company made public during its U.S. launch. When Frigo signed 50 Cent as a brand ambassador a year later, Jeter — who is biracial — tried to distance himself even more, fearing Fitty’s involvement would make the undies too “urban,” according to the suit. The undergarments cost up to $100 per pair. Fitty, whose real name is Curtis Jackson, took to Instagram last year to brag about his deal with the upstart company. “I just did a deal for $78 million for underwear. What did you muthaf—as do today?” he wrote. Frigo majority owner Mathias Ingvarsson claims Jeter’s actions have cost the company $30 million and he wants the shortstop to pony up $4.7 million in damages. Representatives for Jeter did not immediately respond to requests for comment.
Im siding with Jeter here 100%. Now its kinda been a joke how 50 cent always post #SMSaudio and #EffenVodka after every little thing on the planet. It could be “Thoughts and Prayers for Paris #EffenVodka #SMSaudio” which im pretty sure happened last week. Well the thing is those are 2 very clear companies. When i saw #Frigo at the end of things, I 100% legitimately thought it was to promote a rapper or something. Nothing about Mens Underwear. Nothing but a name that im pretty sure there are at least 10 Puerto Rican’s are using as a current nickname or alias. I don’t know how underwear would get “too urban”, but you cant blame Jeter for thinking that when it sounds like a one hit rapper associated with 50 cent. That’s not to mean that Jeter should back out of this though. It sounded too urban from the jump so i dont get whats stopping him now. Time to embrace your half black and get urban after retirement.