Fuck This Cook Book Trying To Tell Me An Apple Is A Donut

Doughnuts come in all shapes and sizes, but there is one general thing that’s consistent: they are made of dough. If there isn’t dough, the item touting itself as a “doughnut” is an imposter and should be discarded immediately. Enter this “Apple Doughnut.” These “doughnuts” are apple slices with assorted accoutrements: melted chocolate, peanut butter, chocolate chips, etc.They are NOT doughnuts. If, as is instructed in the recipe, you made these for children and said they were doughnuts, we imagine the children would slap the snack out of your hand. Why? Because children, too, know doughnuts and these are not them. This doughnut imposter comes from The I Heart Naptime Cookbook, a recipe book filled with recipes intended to be made in less than an hour.

Source- Doughnuts come in all shapes and sizes, but there is one general thing that’s consistent: they are made of dough.
If there isn’t dough, the item touting itself as a “doughnut” is an imposter and should be discarded immediately.
Enter this “Apple Doughnut.”
These “doughnuts” are apple slices with assorted accoutrements: melted chocolate, peanut butter, chocolate chips, etc.They are NOT doughnuts. If, as is instructed in the recipe, you made these for children and said they were doughnuts, we imagine the children would slap the snack out of your hand. Why? Because children, too, know doughnuts and these are not them.
This doughnut imposter comes from The I Heart Naptime Cookbook, a recipe book filled with recipes intended to be made in less than an hour.

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Take that apple and throw it in the trash. Not because it’s not good because it looks delicious as fuck. But you can’t just break all conventions to cooking and throw logic out the window by calling this a doughnut. It’s outrageous. A doughnut is a confection that need to be baked or fried and needs to be made with dough. I already said I hate foods that are too complicated, well you know what? I’ve had a bigger food gripe all my life and It’s time i air my grievances. Growing up my mom has been vegetarian since i was knee high to a duck. I’m use to getting my greens in but something that’s always plagued my mom was when she would make me fake ass vegetarian food with “vegetarian meat”. We’d get like a tofu block that’s been loaded with MSG  and shaped into a fish or fake meat made from mushrooms. If you’re gonna be vegetarian, i want you to be vegetarian meaning you don’t get to eat the knock off meat stuff either. What’s the point in being a leaf eater if you want the leafs to taste and pretend enough to be meat. Just eat fucking meat. Same logic applies to this donut. Don’t you dare tell me you’re gonna give me a donut and then hand me a fucking apple and say “Its healthy!” and then ruin all healthyness by dousing it in chocolate and caramel and shit. You’re just lying to your self. Id rather just eat a powdered donut and then an apple. Or better yet, once Fall comes around give me a bakers dozen of apple cider donut and leave me alone.

P.s- If she says yes then all credibility goes out the window.Screen Shot 2016-08-16 at 10.56.24 PM

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