Unilad-What was once the integral appendage to any self-respecting businessman’s hand, became the trendy addiction of 16-year-olds… so Blackberry had to adapt from their four apps and use Android so kids could play fruit ninja. Just when you thought you had moved on to a sophisticated iPhone 7 and were ready to leave the awesome full QWERTY keyboard for good, TCL go and bring out a brand new Blackberry ‘Mercury’ (unconfirmed name). The Chinese tech giant TCL is planning to reinvigorate the brand with a focus on security, productivity and reliability – but they’re keeping the old QWERTY keyboard (they couldn’t get rid of that). The Android handset, which claims to offer ‘the most complete end-to-end smartphone security available on Android’, will be previewed at the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) this weekend, Mashable reports.Due to Blackberry’s dwindling success in recent years, market researchers think the new phone could be a suicide mission for TCL. I, on the other hand, have no doubt that everyone’s inner Blackberry-obsessed teenager will awaken at the sight of the keyboard.
You know the scene in Pearl Harbor where Kate Beckinsale thinks Ben Afflecks dead and so Josh Hartnett comes in to console her and the two end up falling in love with each other but then like a phoenix from the ashes Ben Affleck comes back for his love one? Well now I fully understand what she was going through because I’m emotional torn to shit. If you don’t know by now I’m one of the few left on this planet that still uses a Blackberry. Hubris leaking out my ears for my Blackberry. Always assumed all the big wigs used them. I remember when I Ari Gold use one I was hooked and thought to myself maybe if i had one i could sign a bunch of movie stars and fire people like they mean nothing. Just ruthless business. Well as the world turns and technology advances my berry is clinging on the last remains of it’s useful life. Got an outdated version of Instagram, Facebook that loads up in a web browser and Twitter that takes 2 hours to refresh. Half my family around the world couldn’t wish me a Happy New Year because my Whats app app is outdated and no longer functioning past New Years on midnight. Can’t hail an Uber in a pinch if i needed too or fire off dick pic snaps on Snapchat. All this time I’ve been keeping up with the world with a blackberry in one hand and an iPod touch in the other in hopes that that was enough.
It came to my realization like last week that this couldn’t keep up and that I needed to change things. It was finally time I was going to give up and convert fully to an iPhone. One year to wait in hopes of getting the new iPhone 8 because all the other blackberry models just didn’t do it for me. Then outta no where….Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. I always said if there was a version of Blackberry I liked, I’d ride with them to the death. Should I concede? I’m so use to the iPod it might as well be an iPhone. I don’t know if I could honestly make a decision between the two to the point where I wish both phones went on a secret suicide mission to bomb hiroshima in a couple of B-25 bombers and which ever comes back is the one i chose to love and spend the rest of my life with even though I’m carrying the child of the fallen smartphone named after itself.
AskMen- Doing nothing is so underrated. And, it turns out, could also be a sign that you have a higher IQ. Published in the Journal of Health Psychology, the study corroborates the idea that people with higher intelligence are more likely to be lazy. Researchers at the Florida Gulf Coast University gave their subjects a test to split them into two groups: 30 ‘thinkers’ and 30 ‘non-thinkers’. They then used accelerometers to track their subjects’ activity levels over a period of seven days.What the researchers found was that from Monday to Friday, the thinkers were significantly less active than the non-thinkers. They concluded that “high-NFC (need for cognition) individuals seem more content to ‘entertain themselves’ mentally, whereas low-NFC individuals quickly experience boredom and experience it more negatively”, as Daily Mail Online reports. Which, in short, means that smart people have fun brains. Oddly, the activity levels for both groups were the same over the weekend. The researchers put this down to the sample population – students – whose activity might simply reflect the behaviour of young adults (eat, sleep, party, repeat).
HA, all you people running around being more actively involved in things when in the end of the day, you might be a dumb person. Here I am just laying in bed, waiting for the seasons to change, binge watching the same old Netflix shows, oh and I’m also just an intelligent human. Basically for all you dumb people out there, what the article is saying in a round about way is that in the end I’m smart enough to entertain myself by turning on the TV. All you nitwits out there on a Saturday looking for things to do being all active and stuff are just being some silly old dummies. You know who doesn’t know much of anything? The crazy dude on the corner of Flamingo and 595 constantly out and about panhandling for money. You know who’s a smart motherfucker? Stephen Hawking. That guy is so smart he knows he doesn’t need to find a cure for curing a rare muscle disease. He just sits in his chair in front of his TV trying to quantify the universe and space and shit.
(DISCLAIMER:I don’t actually know if this is what science is telling us)
P.s- The funny part of this is, this “study” was done at FGCU. You think any of those students are for real about the academic research of our human brains? Pretty sure all they do is Dunk City from November through March and April (jk) and once they’re done with their am class they just chill on the beach till the Moon comes and goes.
TMZ– Kim Kardashian’s life motto is firmly cemented …. once you go BlackBerry … you never go back, and thanks to a top dog at the mobile company, she’ll never be without her longtime companion. Kim K went into panic mode Wednesday after her BlackBerry Bold took its last gasp. The conundrum … no Bolds no mo’. But it’s BB to the rescue … company exec Alex Thurber tells TMZ they’ve got Kim covered. They’re sending her their most secure Android smartphone … a smart move that surely has Tim Cook sorely disappointed. There is a fly in the ointment. The new BlackBerry smartphones don’t have the iconic keyboard, but Thurber says BB is developing an old-school keyboard for its new device. So, in the fruit basket of life … Kim continues to choose berries over apples.
Not gonna lie, my thoughts on Kim Kardashian over the time she’s been famous has been such a wild ride. Went from watching her sex tape, watching her explode as Hollywoods next “It” girl, to absolutely hating her guts because of what she influences on society to kinda siding with her because its the contrarian point of view, to now I might try to be BBM friends with her. You know who else is Team Blackberry? This guy.
It’s been a long painful battle. Dealing with the masses laughing at me for carrying around dead technology like it’s an abacus or something. And I feel for Kim K here. The Blackberry Bolds are dead. Ive always said if blackberry comes out with a phone with a keyboard I like, Ill ride with it to the end. I wasn’t a big enough force i guess to send the failing company into over haul to design me another Bold. I don’t have that power but you know who does? Kim Kardashian. She might be my only savior. Don’t get me wrong if push comes to shove and Blackberry doesn’t make a new Bold for me, I wont cry. I know i fought the battle long and hard with out ever relenting for nearly a decade when technology and smartphone boom was at it’s strongest. But in that time period I’ve come to learn and accept that Kim K. and the Kardashian clan are one of the strongest forces out there and it’s time for me to get out of the battle field so they can continue the fight on Cellphones with keyboards on them. So as long as the battery stays charged and at least one person text me so I can write a novel with the QWERTY keyboard, my allegiance is with Kimberly Kardashian West and the Blackberry Family.