Category Archives: Uncategorized

36 Year Old Women Who Hit Her Head On A Tree Branch Riding A Bus Is Left With The Wonkiest Eye Ever

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A 36-year-old woman is suing a bus company after she says she was left cross-eyed from an injury sustained on the bus two years ago during a Halloween party tour. Lauren Guerra of Los Angeles, California told KTLA on Monday that she was on the upper level of the double-decker Starline Tours bus when she was hit in the head by a tree branch, fracturing the orbital bone around her eye. Guerra said that medical bills cost her $300,000. Attorney Brian Kabateck said the death last year of 16-year-old Mason Zisette on a privately rented Starline bus motivated Guerra to take legal action. My client feels that after her incident, Starline should have done something to change what was happening on the bus,' Kabateck said. 'As a result of the fact that they made no changes and this poor young man died, she wanted to go public.' Guerra claims that she and other passengers received no safety warnings about going on the upper deck, and that no Starline personnel were on the bus to supervise the party. 'Towards the end of the trip, people were ducking branches and trees, while the driver was going 45 miles per hour,' Kabateck said. Another passenger was also struck by a tree but only had minor injuries. Guerra sued Starline just days after Zisette died when his head was struck by an overpass as he stood on the upper deck of the bus as it rolled down the 405 freeway. The bus was being privately chartered during both Guerra's and Zisette’s incident. 'They have done nothing we’ve seen to mitigate these injuries. It’s almost like they don’t know the routes,' he said. 'There has to be more training and an understanding of the routes they are going to be on.' She said after her experiences she felt the company should have taken steps to improve safety. Guerra claimed that during the ride she was injured on, the bus had been traveling at 45mph and everyone was trying to avoid being hit by branches. 'There were times when people had to duck under branches. I stood up at the wrong time and I got taken out going about 45mph by a rather large tree branch,' she told ABC7 last year.

DailyMail– A 36-year-old woman is suing a bus company after she says she was left cross-eyed from an injury sustained on the bus two years ago during a Halloween party tour.
Lauren Guerra of Los Angeles, California told KTLA on Monday that she was on the upper level of the double-decker Starline Tours bus when she was hit in the head by a tree branch, fracturing the orbital bone around her eye.
Guerra said that medical bills cost her $300,000.
Attorney Brian Kabateck said the death last year of 16-year-old Mason Zisette on a privately rented Starline bus motivated Guerra to take legal action.
My client feels that after her incident, Starline should have done something to change what was happening on the bus,’ Kabateck said.
‘As a result of the fact that they made no changes and this poor young man died, she wanted to go public.’
Guerra claims that she and other passengers received no safety warnings about going on the upper deck, and that no Starline personnel were on the bus to supervise the party.
‘Towards the end of the trip, people were ducking branches and trees, while the driver was going 45 miles per hour,’ Kabateck said.
Another passenger was also struck by a tree but only had minor injuries.
Guerra sued Starline just days after Zisette died when his head was struck by an overpass as he stood on the upper deck of the bus as it rolled down the 405 freeway.
The bus was being privately chartered during both Guerra’s and Zisette’s incident.
‘They have done nothing we’ve seen to mitigate these injuries. It’s almost like they don’t know the routes,’ he said.
‘There has to be more training and an understanding of the routes they are going to be on.’
She said after her experiences she felt the company should have taken steps to improve safety.
Guerra claimed that during the ride she was injured on, the bus had been traveling at 45mph and everyone was trying to avoid being hit by branches.
‘There were times when people had to duck under branches. I stood up at the wrong time and I got taken out going about 45mph by a rather large tree branch,’ she told ABC7 last year.

Well it definitely sucks going from this

2DD8119E00000578-3292024-Before_the_injury-m-24_1445968286527

to this….

2DD843FA00000578-3292024-image-a-25_1445968370091

Its to the point where im not even sure if the right eye is staring normally at the camera right now because the other one is so god damn staring at the sky. I don’t even think its stuck there in that position. I think it shoots around at all angles radically like Mad Eye Moody from Harry Potter. To be the butt of Mad Eye Moody jokes can be enough emotional trauma i guess to want to sue, but at the end of the day that shit is your fault. This chick from only her face pic/Face pic with a bugged out eye ball, kinda seems like shes tall for a girl. Well if you’re a tall ass bitch don’t go standing around on the top floor of some party bus or expect to get clothes-lined by an oak tree or something. And Most likely that shit can be fixed. Remember when Pacquaio went combos with his little semi trucks of a fist on Antonio Margarito?antonio-margarito-eye_crop_north

His eyes didn’t even look existent after that fight but he was able to get his eyeballs re done so that it not awkward to have a face to face conversation with him. She’s just looking for a quick ticket to a large lump settlement. Well if you’re 30+ years old and you can’t exercise a little bit of common sense to not stand up on a tall ass moving object when you’re suppose to sit the fuck down then maybe you gotta learn a little life lesson about judgement calls by walking around town with a wonky eye ball.

p.s- Im not crazy when i said she looks tall right? Like i know its just a face pic but she looks at least 5’10”. Plus with heels on probably when shes standing she must’ve been like a giraffe.

Bride Gives Her Father A Certificate Of Proof That She Is In Fact Still A Virgin

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A bride has proved to her father that her ‘hymen is intact’ with a certificate of purity. Brelyn Bowman presented the document, signed by her gynaecologist, to her father Michael on her wedding day to prove that she is a virgin. She married long-time boyfriend Timothy in front of 3,500 people. She wrote on instagram: ‘I was able to present a certificate of purity to [my dad] signed by my doctor that my hymen was still intact.’ ‘If one person has made a decision to wait until marriage or decide to stop & wait we have done our job,’ she wrote on another photo. ‘Let’s make Jesus famous!’ The certificate says: ‘On the 10th of May 2006, I, Brelyn Freeman, made a vow to glorify God in my body and spirit which are God’s because I have been bought with a price (Jesus). ‘I have kept this commitment and present this certificate to my father Dr Michael A. Freeman to show how I have honored God and my earthly father in my body by maintaining my purity and that my hymen is intact on this 10th day of October 2015.’

Metro– A bride has proved to her father that her ‘hymen is intact’ with a certificate of purity.
Brelyn Bowman presented the document, signed by her gynaecologist, to her father Michael on her wedding day to prove that she is a virgin.
She married long-time boyfriend Timothy in front of 3,500 people.
She wrote on instagram: ‘I was able to present a certificate of purity to [my dad] signed by my doctor that my hymen was still intact.’
‘If one person has made a decision to wait until marriage or decide to stop & wait we have done our job,’ she wrote on another photo. ‘Let’s make Jesus famous!’
The certificate says: ‘On the 10th of May 2006, I, Brelyn Freeman, made a vow to glorify God in my body and spirit which are God’s because I have been bought with a price (Jesus).
‘I have kept this commitment and present this certificate to my father Dr Michael A. Freeman to show how I have honored God and my earthly father in my body by maintaining my purity and that my hymen is intact on this 10th day of October 2015.’

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Well Father of the bride, I hope you know once night falls on that wedding day, that certificate is certified garbage that can be burned or tossed in the trash. Please recycle. Like im glad you know that for however many years of her life she wasn’t a complete and utter slut, but once they tie the knot, his dick is going IMMEDIATELY inside her.

Its almost kind of like reverse peer pressure. The fake non existent pressure of being a virgin is stupid. You know you want to do it, everyone else does it, its a lot of fun, its going to happen eventually, as long as you pull out/use a condom, you 99.99999999% chance wont have a teen pregnancy situation, you hopefully wont get any like super bad STDs, and again, its fun and everyone else does it. The pressure of “you’re first time” is just dumb. Just get it out of the way. Like Mayweather holding his 49-0 streak. Sure he manipulated the situation by only fighting opponents that know he’s gonna beat, but for whatever reason, that looming thought of breaking the streak just sucks. Every team wants to be the 72 Dolphins but sometimes the best way to go about it is lose early and improve. Now this lady and her dad are gonna have to live knowing for a fact that paper can be torn in half much so like her hymen and pussy that is going to get F’ed that wedding night and all through out their honeymoon.

P.s- I can probably print that up in Microsoft Word. That shit is probably so fake

Pss- Hymen is kind of a gross word. Normal people aren’t married virgins at that age so this only reminds me of like child rape no thanks to S.V.U.

 

Fuck This Teacher That Marked this Kid Wrong In This Dumb Ass Equation

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DM- An elementary school math quiz has been generating outrage online for the teacher's questionable grading criteria. The third-grade quiz shows two seemingly easy problems that the student is marked down for each time, though apparently coming to the correct answer. The first question asks the student to use repeated addition to solve the question 5x3. The student answers 5+5+5=15, but is marked incorrect. Instead, the teacher writes that the correct answer should have been 3+3+3+3+3=15.

DM– An elementary school math quiz has been generating outrage online for the teacher’s questionable grading criteria.
The third-grade quiz shows two seemingly easy problems that the student is marked down for each time, though apparently coming to the correct answer.
The first question asks the student to use repeated addition to solve the question 5×3.
The student answers 5+5+5=15, but is marked incorrect. Instead, the teacher writes that the correct answer should have been 3+3+3+3+3=15.

Listen, im no Harvard grad or some genius John Nash solving game theory and dabbling in quantum mechanics or some shit, and maybe im coming off as a dumb ass American, but fuck this teacher. Yea i know its only two points but its not even about the points. Einstein wouldn’t even give a fuck about whether its “5+5+5” or “3+3+3+3+3” cause the answer is the same fucking thing! When I read that its 5 multiplied by 3, so why the fuck is that wrong? Its 5 three times. Now the array one I dont even know because I NEVER had anything like this to do in the 3rd grade, because the bottom line is, we just want the fucking answer. Drawing a million sticks like that might equal 6 x 4, but guess what? It still comes out to the same ass answer 24.

Screen Shot 2015-10-27 at 12.19.34 PM

Hey JillJill, its still 24 fucking apples you asshole.

America’s Favorite Halloween Candy By State

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We all know, not all Halloween candy is created equal. Whether you're into sour gummies or dark chocolates, everyone knows that playing favorites is inevitable when you're trick or treating. And let's be real - no one is hoping for a 'trick' when they go door to door in their costumes. So, we surveyed over 40,000 Influensters to find out which Halloween candies hold a special place in ALL of our hearts. Check out our infographic below that displays America's favorite Halloween candy for 2015 state by state. Curious as to what stands out? We found it interesting that... + The candy the pulled the highest total number of votes turned out to be Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup -- it was one of only three candies (the other two were Kit Kat and Butterfinger) to be voted by every single state in the U.S. + The candy of choice in the most number of states this year turned out to be the polarizing Halloween staple -- Candy corn. + Candy corn proved to be the top pick for Oregon, Wyoming, Tennessee, Texas, and South Carolina. Does your candy obsession align with others in your state? Could you guess which candy is your state's favorite without looking? Maybe you think a BIG time favorite candy is missing. Whatever it is, tell us in the comments below!

Influenster- We all know, not all Halloween candy is created equal. Whether you’re into sour gummies or dark chocolates, everyone knows that playing favorites is inevitable when you’re trick or treating. And let’s be real – no one is hoping for a ‘trick’ when they go door to door in their costumes.
So, we surveyed over 40,000 Influensters to find out which Halloween candies hold a special place in ALL of our hearts. Check out our infographic below that displays America’s favorite Halloween candy for 2015 state by state. Curious as to what stands out? We found it interesting that…
+ The candy the pulled the highest total number of votes turned out to be Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup — it was one of only three candies (the other two were Kit Kat and Butterfinger) to be voted by every single state in the U.S.
+ The candy of choice in the most number of states this year turned out to be the polarizing Halloween staple — Candy corn.
+ Candy corn proved to be the top pick for Oregon, Wyoming, Tennessee, Texas, and South Carolina.
Does your candy obsession align with others in your state? Could you guess which candy is your state’s favorite without looking? Maybe you think a BIG time favorite candy is missing. Whatever it is, tell us in the comments below!

Not gonna lie, when I looked at the list and saw Crunch was Florida’s number 1 pick I was feeling good about it. Good solid candy chocolate bar. I like Crunch and eat it whenever I have it. But thats the thing, I almost never think about buying it. I love Twix because of the cookie center, and Kit Kats, I had a whole blog on kit kats and how much I want them. But Crunch bar doesn’t really seem that awesome. And then I looked at the rest of the list and once i realized Florida was the only one picking Crunch bars, then it made me wonder why the fuck no one else wants crunch. I mean those murderers and criminals in Maryland are enjoying fucking Almond Joys over Crunch bars. Almond Joys are like the chocolate you threw in as a consolation piece when you’re trying to make a trade for a better piece of candy after trick r treating. I don’t know, now Crunch bars seem like a candy meth addicts would like a lot. Sweet and crunchy and ruins their teeth. I feel like Candy Corn has gotten a bad reputation over the years but some states are going bonkers over candy corn while Crunch bars are just at the tail end of America. I almost hate it now.

P.s- How about the balls on West Virginia to just give out Oreo Cookies on Halloween?

Mila Kunis Casually Dropping That She’d Help Her Daughter Bury The Body No Questions If She Murdered Someone.

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Cosmopolitan- So this is only mildly terrifying… Mila Kunis has brought up the prospect of baby Wyatt murdering someone… again. Mila previously told Ellen: "If she murdered somebody in cold blood, I would love her. I would be like, 'That's OK.'" And now she’s at it again. In a new interview with Business Insider, Mila discussed the possibility that she will one day become an accomplice to murder. "I think if [Wyatt] killed someone, I would literally be like 'I got it,'" she says. "Where do you want me to help you hide the body? I wouldn't even question it.​" She also said some cute shiz about motherhood: "Everything is different," she says, "from the fact you're happy when you get six hours of sleep to the idea of being responsible for this incredible living breathing little human being that you can't believe is yours." Aww. Well here’s some advice for free: Don’t ever piss off Mila Kunis. Or Wyatt Kutcher, for that matter.

Cosmopolitan– So this is only mildly terrifying… Mila Kunis has brought up the prospect of baby Wyatt murdering someone… again.
Mila previously told Ellen: “If she murdered somebody in cold blood, I would love her. I would be like, ‘That’s OK.'”
And now she’s at it again.
In a new interview with Business Insider, Mila discussed the possibility that she will one day become an accomplice to murder. “I think if [Wyatt] killed someone, I would literally be like ‘I got it,'” she says. “Where do you want me to help you hide the body? I wouldn’t even question it.​”
She also said some cute shiz about motherhood: “Everything is different,” she says, “from the fact you’re happy when you get six hours of sleep to the idea of being responsible for this incredible living breathing little human being that you can’t believe is yours.”
Aww.
Well here’s some advice for free: Don’t ever piss off Mila Kunis. Or Wyatt Kutcher, for that matter.

No one in my brain has ever been in such a gray area as Mila Kunis. Don’t get me wrong, if she went up to me and said she wanted to F me until my body is left in shambles and a borderline corpse, I totally would. I mean shes hot, has this exotic look kinda with her eyes screaming that she would be like a caged animal set loose in the wild when having sex. She could be kinda funny or at least i like a lot of movies she’s in, and now in my head shes kind of like a ride or die chick. No questions ask just gonna bury a body if her daughter comes in with a bloody knife. Kinda of a verse alternate ’97 Bonnie and Clyde scenario and for some reason i find that hot when applied to her.

On the other hand, she dating Macaulay Culkin for NINE YEARS. No one can be attached to that psycho for 9 years and be normal.

Theres Something Memorizing and Peaceful About This Great Dane Playing On Top Of A Covered Pool Like A Water Bed

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Well A.) Its Peaceful because dogs being happy makes the world become happy. If you watch a pure-hearted creature play around and you have a fraction of hate in your heart then I hate to tell you this, but you’re probably the next Hitler. And B.) this is pretty much on a water bed. Everyone kinda wanted one as a kid right? I think my uncle had one for awhile and i know i had a buddy who had one. Shit was fun to just lay in. Like floating on water and not letting worries bother you. The ripple of the waters flowing outwards from the dog’s slow fluid jumping around all playful and shit just seems nice.

P.s- Remember when Tom Brady thought it was ridiculous when they didn’t have white pool covers? This guy probably gets it too. Gotta have a white one that looks good with the lime stone edging and shit in order to look nice.

Tennessee Man, Tim Tawater, Is A Real Super Hero

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WHITE HOUSE, TN (WSMV) - The man who ran into a burning house to save a dog moments before the roof collapsed met the dog’s owners Monday. As a home in White House burned to the ground Saturday, neighbors knew a dog was trapped inside. They watched as a mystery man drove up in a Mustang and ran inside. A few minutes later, the man exited the house carrying the 80-pound dog in a blanket. The dog, Sampson, was unhurt. The good Samaritan disappeared. “He got in his car and left,” a witness told Channel 4. The man in the Mustang was Tim Tawater, a 20-year veteran of the Nashville Fire Department and a self-professed dog lover. “I’ve had dogs ever since I was born,” Tawater said. “You got to figure that if there’s a dog in the house, the dog is definitely family.” Tawater lives in White House. He was off-duty Saturday and on his way to his daughter’s birthday party. “We just live two or three miles from here,” Tawater said. He saw the smoke and knew the volunteer firefighters wouldn’t be there for a while. “I don’t do it for people to say ‘thank you.’ I do it because it needs to be done,” Tawater said. The homeowners are Brandon and April Gorley. They had just arrived in Gulf Shores when they got a call that their house was on fire. They turned around and came home. Monday, they met the man who rescued their beloved Sampson. Sampson is a Bouvier, a type of German herding dog. At 82 pounds, he is only half grown. The Gorleys said they were very grateful for Tawater’s actions. “He didn’t have to go into a house that was on fire,” Brandon Gorley said. “Deeply, deeply appreciate him being there.” “The real heroes to me are the volunteers, because they don’t get paid for it,” Tawater said. “They do it for free.” A relative was house-sitting and had just left to go to the store when the fire broke out. Sampson’s owners joked that he had just gone to the groomer Friday, so he had a nice hairdo for his TV debut. Read more: http://www.wsmv.com/story/30243143/good-samaritan-who-saved-dog-meets-owners#ixzz3p2CAmF3J

WHITE HOUSE, TN (WSMV) –
The man who ran into a burning house to save a dog moments before the roof collapsed met the dog’s owners Monday.
As a home in White House burned to the ground Saturday, neighbors knew a dog was trapped inside. They watched as a mystery man drove up in a Mustang and ran inside.
A few minutes later, the man exited the house carrying the 80-pound dog in a blanket.
The dog, Sampson, was unhurt. The good Samaritan disappeared.
“He got in his car and left,” a witness told Channel 4.
The man in the Mustang was Tim Tawater, a 20-year veteran of the Nashville Fire Department and a self-professed dog lover.
“I’ve had dogs ever since I was born,” Tawater said. “You got to figure that if there’s a dog in the house, the dog is definitely family.”
Tawater lives in White House. He was off-duty Saturday and on his way to his daughter’s birthday party.
“We just live two or three miles from here,” Tawater said.
He saw the smoke and knew the volunteer firefighters wouldn’t be there for a while.
“I don’t do it for people to say ‘thank you.’ I do it because it needs to be done,” Tawater said.
The homeowners are Brandon and April Gorley. They had just arrived in Gulf Shores when they got a call that their house was on fire. They turned around and came home.
Monday, they met the man who rescued their beloved Sampson.
Sampson is a Bouvier, a type of German herding dog. At 82 pounds, he is only half grown.
The Gorleys said they were very grateful for Tawater’s actions.
“He didn’t have to go into a house that was on fire,” Brandon Gorley said. “Deeply, deeply appreciate him being there.”
“The real heroes to me are the volunteers, because they don’t get paid for it,” Tawater said. “They do it for free.”
A relative was house-sitting and had just left to go to the store when the fire broke out.
Sampson’s owners joked that he had just gone to the groomer Friday, so he had a nice hairdo for his TV debut.
Read more: http://www.wsmv.com/story/30243143/good-samaritan-who-saved-dog-meets-owners#ixzz3p2CAmF3J

Does he wear a cape and a mask? No. Can he fly and have super powers? No. But by every other definition, this man is a super hero. Guy didn’t need to be called upon, because he’s always forever watching over the people of Tennessee. When a life needs saving, you can rest assure Tim Tawater is already in his batmobile Mustang racing over to save those In need. And as fast as he arrived, he leaves knowing that all lives are safe, and he races off in his mustang to his daughters birthday party/saving any one else who needs saving. He doesn’t see a difference between a man and canine or any other animal. If it lives in a house, it needs saving when its home is set ablaze because he knows that dogs like Sampson is family. He doesn’t do it to be featured in the papers, he does it because it needs to be done. He’s a silent guardian. A watchful protector. He is Tim Tawater.

 

After A 6 Hour Hold up, Jacksonville Couple Say They Will Go Into Custody If They Can “Have Sex One Last Time”

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JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Two people were arrested Thursday after a 6 1/2 hour SWAT standoff on the city's Westside, authorities said. Ryan Patrick Bautista, 34, and Leanne Hunn, 30, face charges of false imprisonment and resisting law enforcement without violence. According to the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office, SWAT negotiators resolved the situation peacefully about 4 a.m. after police first received a call about a man who was wanted on several warrants, including armed burglary, at a mobile home in the 9700 block of Noroad about 9:30 p.m. Wednesday. Police say when they arrived to the home and knocked on the front door, the porch light was immediately turned off. Officers continued to try to make contact with the people inside. About 45 minutes later, a woman came out the door and moments later, another women came outside. Police say both were taken into custody. According to the incident report, one of the women told police she went to the home to celebrate a birthday. The report says she told police they were watching TV when police arrived and Bautista grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to the back bedroom. Bautista and Hunn told her she would not be allowed to go outside because they were scared he would be arrested for a warrant, police said. Police say the woman then started to scream but Bautista covered her mouth with his hand and held her down. Seconds later, he let her off the ground but would not let her leave until she began to cry, the report said. The other woman told police she was also allowed to leave after the first woman walked outside. The second woman said they were celebrating her birthday at the trailer. Bautista and Hunn continued to refuse to exit the trailer, police said. Police spoke with Hunn over the phone and she said "she would come out but wanted to have sex with Bautista one last time" and then hung up, according to the report. But police say she did not come out. That's when SWAT was called out. The SWAT team eventually forced entry into the trailer and took Bautista and Hunn into custody. Bautista and Hunn were arrested and taken to jail.

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Two people were arrested Thursday after a 6 1/2 hour SWAT standoff on the city’s Westside, authorities said.
Ryan Patrick Bautista, 34, and Leanne Hunn, 30, face charges of false imprisonment and resisting law enforcement without violence.
According to the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office, SWAT negotiators resolved the situation peacefully about 4 a.m. after police first received a call about a man who was wanted on several warrants, including armed burglary, at a mobile home in the 9700 block of Noroad about 9:30 p.m. Wednesday.
Police say when they arrived to the home and knocked on the front door, the porch light was immediately turned off. Officers continued to try to make contact with the people inside. About 45 minutes later, a woman came out the door and moments later, another women came outside. Police say both were taken into custody.
According to the incident report, one of the women told police she went to the home to celebrate a birthday. The report says she told police they were watching TV when police arrived and Bautista grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to the back bedroom. Bautista and Hunn told her she would not be allowed to go outside because they were scared he would be arrested for a warrant, police said.
Police say the woman then started to scream but Bautista covered her mouth with his hand and held her down. Seconds later, he let her off the ground but would not let her leave until she began to cry, the report said.
The other woman told police she was also allowed to leave after the first woman walked outside. The second woman said they were celebrating her birthday at the trailer.
Bautista and Hunn continued to refuse to exit the trailer, police said. Police spoke with Hunn over the phone and she said “she would come out but wanted to have sex with Bautista one last time” and then hung up, according to the report. But police say she did not come out.
That’s when SWAT was called out.
The SWAT team eventually forced entry into the trailer and took Bautista and Hunn into custody.
Bautista and Hunn were arrested and taken to jail.

There are like 4 demands that i assume a person in a mobile home would make. One is to smoke one last cigarette, one is to finish his beer, the 3rd is to let him get high first ( i saw this a lot in Intervention and Dog The Bounty Hunter), but the best is demanding sex before being hauled off like a piece of meat and locked up in jail. Sounds like such an outrageous demand but deep down inside you know its not. Everyone want’s it. If asked a prisoner about to face the death penalty, He probably wouldn’t want his last meal if he could stick it inside a chick one last time. And some how when I think about Police demands my mind goes back to one of the all time classics, Point break.

Point Break 2: Florida Trailer Park Edition

End scene:

 Lose something, bro?

 Special Agent Utah. l knew l could count on you.

 l've been to every Trailer Park in Jacksonville

Came across an unclaimed piece of meat in Duval, turned out to be Rosie.

Guess he picked a knife fight with somebody better.

Found a passport of yours in Sumatra, missed you by about a week in Ocala.

But l knew you wouldn't miss a  30-year trailer park pussy, Bodhi.

Yeah.

Too bad. You finally get your waves and it's totally closed out.

Just waiting for my set.

 You gotta go down.

You crossed the line and people trusted you and they died.

Yeah, it went bad, went real bad.

Life sure has a sick sense of humour, doesn't it?

 - Still surfing? - Every day.

 Come on, Bodhi. lt's time to go.

You know you gotta go back with me.

 (laughs)

 Sorry, my friend.

                Come on!
(Fight Ensues)

SHlT! NO!

 NO!!

   l told them...

    ..you'd go quietly.

                (helicopter)

                NO!

                You know there's no way l can handle a cage, man.

                l don't care. You gotta go down.

                lt's gotta be that way.

                OK, man. OK.

                l'm screwed.

                l'm gonna go to jail and l'll pay, and Johnny Utah gets his guy. Right?

                Good for you. That's real good.

                You're gonna be a big hero now.

 But look at it, Johnny. Look at it! (points at 30 year old mobile home chick who has definitely been around)

                This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, man.

                Just let me go out there, let me get one fuck before you take me. One nut.

                Where am l gonna go, man?

   Mobile homes on both side. l'm not gonna paddle to New Zealand!

                My whole life has been about this moment, Johnny.

                Come on, compadre.

                Come on.

                COME ON!

                Via con Dios!

Groom Calls Off Wedding. Brides Parents Decide To Let Homeless People Eat At The Reception

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A jilted bride put her wedding feast to good use by feeding Sacramento’s homeless, according to a local report. A salmon and tri-tip smorgasbord coordinated by Quinn Duane and her unidentified would-be husband would have fed 120 of the bride's friends and family Saturday afternoon, but the pricy $35,000 wedding was scrapped at the last minute when the groom got cold feet just five days before the reception. The new guests, including a slew of less fortunate families with children from local shelters, took advantage of the Duane family's kindness, matriarch Kari Duane told KCRA-TV. “When I found out on Monday that the wedding would not be taking place, it just seemed, like, of course this would be something that we would do to give back,” Duane told the TV station. The reception was catered by the posh restaurant at the Citizen Hotel, where on Saturday underserved Sacramento residents snaked around tables while in line for the buffet. Erika Craycraft, her husband Rashad Abdullah and their five children, were among those filling their stomachs. “I think it’s really generous to lose out on something so important to yourself and then give it to someone else is really giving,” Craycraft told the TV station. The bride stayed home instead of attending Saturday’s dinner, but will be getting a vacation out of her situation. Before tackling mounting bills tied to the wedding, mother and daughter will take off to Belize with the non-refundable honeymoon tickets and reservations.

NYDN– A jilted bride put her wedding feast to good use by feeding Sacramento’s homeless, according to a local report.
A salmon and tri-tip smorgasbord coordinated by Quinn Duane and her unidentified would-be husband would have fed 120 of the bride’s friends and family Saturday afternoon, but the pricy $35,000 wedding was scrapped at the last minute when the groom got cold feet just five days before the reception.
The new guests, including a slew of less fortunate families with children from local shelters, took advantage of the Duane family’s kindness, matriarch Kari Duane told KCRA-TV.
“When I found out on Monday that the wedding would not be taking place, it just seemed, like, of course this would be something that we would do to give back,” Duane told the TV station.
The reception was catered by the posh restaurant at the Citizen Hotel, where on Saturday underserved Sacramento residents snaked around tables while in line for the buffet.
Erika Craycraft, her husband Rashad Abdullah and their five children, were among those filling their stomachs.
“I think it’s really generous to lose out on something so important to yourself and then give it to someone else is really giving,” Craycraft told the TV station.
The bride stayed home instead of attending Saturday’s dinner, but will be getting a vacation out of her situation. Before tackling mounting bills tied to the wedding, mother and daughter will take off to Belize with the non-refundable honeymoon tickets and reservations.

Ahhhh weddings. Love a good wedding. Some food, some dancing, some alcohol. Get dressed to the 9s all stylish hoping to find a lady for the night. Everything looks classy on the surface, bet thats what the Venue and Bride both wanted out of this lovely event. What they were not hoping for was 120 homeless people all gathered in a “posh” restaurant inside whats suppose to be a lovely hotel. Sure its a nice gesture I guess if you’re the Moral Police, but the fact is, the bride was probably at home contemplating ending it all while a recovering drug addict was sitting where her friends and family were suppose to sit eating her expensive ass “Salmon and Tri-tip smorgasbord” because her fiance said fuck it and bailed.

Who hates this the most though, isn’t the bride, it’s the hotel. Now apparently this was suppose to be a nice ritzy venue? Screen Shot 2015-10-19 at 9.14.10 AM

Apparently so. Except looking back at the picture above, it looks like they stripped it down to the bare bones knowing that the parent’s decided to use it to pedal exquisite food to bums. That place looks like you’re average senior citizen bingo hall now and I don’t blame em. You don’t know what kinda smells linger because of the homeless’ lack of hygiene. If they kept the open bar who knows what kind of catastrophe you’re in for with recovering addicts. A Hotel’s suppose to be where people go away to physically and mentally. I don’t want to leave my 500 dollar a night hotel room and potentially get stabbed on the way to the concierge desk because some nice white folks decided to feed the mass of homeless. If i were the Hotel id just tell them its off. Not worth the degradation of class. Yea you and the bride might be emotionally wrecked and want to do some good out of a shitty event, but you’re gonna be jet setting to Ibiza from you’re non-refundable honeymoon tickets while we have to steam clean the entire conference hall because you wanted to let bums eat there. Hope they didn’t use the fancy silverware or fine china either. Feed em in the broom closet with paper plates and plastic utensils cause you know if not they’ll steal that shit to pawn off later.

 

P.s- FMD Medina has a pretty strong stance on Marriage. #Score1ForTheHomeTeam Screen Shot 2015-10-19 at 9.52.11 AM Screen Shot 2015-10-19 at 9.52.35 AM Screen Shot 2015-10-19 at 9.52.49 AM

If You End Up Driving Through The Driving School Building During Your Road Exam, You’re Probably Not Ready For The Road

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A student driver in Washington state learned the subtle difference between the gas pedal and the brake on Friday when she crashed into a driving school. Authorities in Bellevue snapped a quick photo of the scene. No injuries were reported in the incident. Police responded to reports of a car that crashed into a building around 8:30 a.m. "Unfortunately, that student mistook the gas pedal for the brake, sending the car into the building," Seth Tyler of the Bellevue Police told KOMO. Police said the student is a woman in her 20s who is new to the country. She was approaching the end of the test when the accident happened. "She was doing great up until that very last part ... [and she] did drive through a plate glass window, so that was a fail on the test," Tyler noted.

Huffington Post– A student driver in Washington state learned the subtle difference between the gas pedal and the brake on Friday when she crashed into a driving school.
Authorities in Bellevue snapped a quick photo of the scene. No injuries were reported in the incident.
Police responded to reports of a car that crashed into a building around 8:30 a.m.
“Unfortunately, that student mistook the gas pedal for the brake, sending the car into the building,” Seth Tyler of the Bellevue Police told KOMO.
Police said the student is a woman in her 20s who is new to the country. She was approaching the end of the test when the accident happened.
“She was doing great up until that very last part … [and she] did drive through a plate glass window, so that was a fail on the test,” Tyler noted.

Well that could’ve gone better huh? I can’t even comprehend how that happens. I mean first off this was at the end of the test. She did fine for the entire 10 minutes driving, not running anyone over or plowing through any buildings. But I guess some people can’t over come the 4th quarter pressure when you’re down to the final 2 minute drive and fumble everything horribly wrong. You think it was the pressure of 4 free wide open parking spots? Was she distracted by the Shasta vending machine which I’ve never seen before and thought the company died in 98? Must’ve been the complexity of the 40 thousand dollar European luxury sport sedan known for its technology to improve safety and ease of driving. Either way, she’s not ready for the road and should probably stick with Uber for now.

P.s- My dirty little secret is i actually failed my first driving test. It was such a bullshit reason. It was at the DMV in Oakland park. It was basically entrapment. Guy wanted me to fail. I never told anyone about it, but it eats away at me sometimes when I think about the DMV.

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The whole time the exam dude was giving me the look like “is he gonna fail it? I bet he’s gonna fail it” but i had no idea so i just did my thing, everything went smoothly. Nailed the 3 point turn. They don’t make you parallel park or anything. But as I turn to go up that road with the median, he’s looking over at me being all coy and shit. See what that fuck didn’t tell me was that one lane was actually 2 lanes even though there’s no dotted line or arrows to even kinda let you know its 2 lanes to turn in 2 directions. I thought it was one. Right as i turn i hear him go “Ohhh yea im sorry i can’t let you pass this exam… You see buddy, that was actually two lanes and you were driving in the middle the entire time” and he said it was a fucking smile on his face. I didn’t even bother arguing it with the guy that there was no lines indicating that it was two lanes or anywhere that said it was two because i was so taken aback by how much this guy wanted to trick me into failing. They start off all buddy buddy with you and the next thing you know they’re smiling like the devil failing and emasculating you by denying you’re drivers license.  I think i told all my friends i nailed it in one shot but the truth burns inside me to the point where I hope the DMV instructor dies.