Monthly Archives: June 2016

“Ok idc” Is The Most Brutal Response In Teacher Sex Scandal History Involving This 21 Year Old Karate Teacher And 11 Year Old Student

ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. — A 20-year-old woman was arrested last week on allegations she solicited an 11-year-old boy for sex acts, police said. According to an arrest report, Stephannie Figueroa, 20, who works at Next Gen Xtreme Martial Arts in Orlando, met the boy at the karate school on Goldenrod Road. Police became involved when the mother of the victim said last Wednesday at about 6:30 a.m., she found messages from Figueroa on her son’s cellphone. The suspect and victim were using the messaging app Kik, police said. Figueroa allegedly told the boy she "could not wait for another sleep over at the karate school, so she could have sex with him in a hard way,” an Orlando police report said. The boy’s mother called police at about 10:09 p.m. the same day, the report said. The boy admitted the karate instructor had been flirting with him and sending him photos of her private parts as well as full body nude photos, police said. Figueroa is accused of telling the boy she liked him, but did not make any advances until February, the report said. During that time, while the suspect and victim were alone, Figueroa began sliding her hand on the boy’s thigh, police said. The boy said he told the instructor to stop and she did, the report said. She also told the boy she wanted to cuddle, but never did during the sleepover, police said. Police said the two most recently communicated through Kik last Tuesday when she invited him over to her 21st birthday party and said no one would be home. “I want to have sex with you,” she messaged the boy, according to the police report. “OK IDC (I don’t care),” he responded, before falling asleep. Investigators said during the last three months, Figueroa sent 15 naked photos to the 11-year-old. A man who identified himself as the owner of the Next Gen Martial Arts told Eyewitness News he hired an attorney because footage from his surveillance cameras didn’t show anything happened between the instructor and the boy. At first, the man said there were never any sleepovers, but later admitted there had been. There was never any inappropriate contact between Figueroa and the boy, he said.  When police asked to see the messages and images, the boy’s mother went through his phone “and was unable to locate neither the Kik messages she had seen in the morning, nor any of the photographs described above,” the report said. Figueroa was arrested and charged with making an obscene telephone call.

ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. —
A 20-year-old woman was arrested last week on allegations she solicited an 11-year-old boy for sex acts, police said.
According to an arrest report, Stephannie Figueroa, 20, who works at Next Gen Xtreme Martial Arts in Orlando, met the boy at the karate school on Goldenrod Road.
Police became involved when the mother of the victim said last Wednesday at about 6:30 a.m., she found messages from Figueroa on her son’s cellphone.
The suspect and victim were using the messaging app Kik, police said.
Figueroa allegedly told the boy she “could not wait for another sleep over at the karate school, so she could have sex with him in a hard way,” an Orlando police report said.
The boy’s mother called police at about 10:09 p.m. the same day, the report said.
The boy admitted the karate instructor had been flirting with him and sending him photos of her private parts as well as full body nude photos, police said.
Figueroa is accused of telling the boy she liked him, but did not make any advances until February, the report said.
During that time, while the suspect and victim were alone, Figueroa began sliding her hand on the boy’s thigh, police said. The boy said he told the instructor to stop and she did, the report said.
She also told the boy she wanted to cuddle, but never did during the sleepover, police said.
Police said the two most recently communicated through Kik last Tuesday when she invited him over to her 21st birthday party and said no one would be home.
“I want to have sex with you,” she messaged the boy, according to the police report.
“OK IDC (I don’t care),” he responded, before falling asleep.
Investigators said during the last three months, Figueroa sent 15 naked photos to the 11-year-old.
A man who identified himself as the owner of the Next Gen Martial Arts told Eyewitness News he hired an attorney because footage from his surveillance cameras didn’t show anything happened between the instructor and the boy.
At first, the man said there were never any sleepovers, but later admitted there had been.
There was never any inappropriate contact between Figueroa and the boy, he said.
When police asked to see the messages and images, the boy’s mother went through his phone “and was unable to locate neither the Kik messages she had seen in the morning, nor any of the photographs described above,” the report said.
Figueroa was arrested and charged with making an obscene telephone call.

I’m gonna respect the legal system here. Not going to put any judgement on Stephannie Figueroa here (besides the fact that having 2 “N’s” in “Stephannie” is stupid as fuck). Incriminating statements have been made here and something fishy is going on. Maybe those 15 nudes of her weren’t her or were photo-shopped just to incriminate her for what ever reason. After all the pictures apparently have gone missing the next day magically. Fishy indeed.

But if any of these allegations are true, one of the most publicly damaging pieces of evidence that will haunt Ms. Figueroa’s reputation forever is this one tiny portion of the text message exchange…

Stephannie Figueroa: “I want to have sex with you” (presumably followed by a flurry of emojis involving water, an eggplant, and a peach)

11 Year Old Karate Kid: “ok idc”

“Okay, I do not care…” Listen I get that this kid is apparently 11, but we all know kids are getting exposed to this shit earlier and earlier. And I know for a FACT that I jerked off when I was 11 years old because thats when curiosity begins. You think girls are “cute” then. Well guess what Stephannie Figueroa, YOUR SHIT MUST SUCK. You can send all the pictures of your tits and pussy all you want to this said 11 year old. All the daring shit like getting close and sneaking around after sessions at the dojo, and fucking karate sleep overs? Nothing. Straight up telling him you’re going to fuck him in “a hard way” and It didn’t move the needle a millimeter for this kid. Who knows maybe he’s such a chick slayer with his sweet karate moves that Stephannie here is just another notch on his belt of millions from his harem of women. But as the allegations stand, she could pay him money, get a crazy boob job, get ass implants, offer the wildest sex experience in the entire world and her ego and self confidence will still be in the dumpster because he….

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When she gets out of jail and sends him a “hiiii” text when he’s 18…

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Round 2 Of Animals Being Used For Crime: Mafia Tie Burning Rags To Cats To Start Forest Fires If They Don’t Get Their Protection Money

DailyMail- Cats are being used as 'arsonists' by the mafia who set them alight to start huge forest fires, claims a park manager death-marked by the mob. President Giuseppe Antoci of Nebrodi, Sicily's largest national park, spoke as firefighters extinguished hundreds of fires which broke out simultaneously across the island last week. Mr Antoci, 48, who survived an assassination attempt by the mafia in May, claimed the crime group 'use the animals as arsonists', and the cats burn all the bushes that they touch, reports Corriere Della Sera. The park director added that five hundred forest fires do not spontaneously combust all at once. He said: 'One of the mob's arson techniques is to tie a petrol-soaked rag to the tail of a cat and set fire to it. As its tail burns, the cat flees in terror into the undergrowth in the woods, setting fire to everything it touches. 'That makes it harder for investigators to figure out where the fire was started and since the cat is eventually incinerated, they never find what caused the fire,' reports The Times. Last week the fires ravaged the island and nearly 6,000 hectares of land went up in smoke. Schools had to be evacuated after a hot sirocco wind blew in from Africa, before forest fires started simultaneously breaking out across the island.

DailyMail– Cats are being used as ‘arsonists’ by the mafia who set them alight to start huge forest fires, claims a park manager death-marked by the mob.
President Giuseppe Antoci of Nebrodi, Sicily’s largest national park, spoke as firefighters extinguished hundreds of fires which broke out simultaneously across the island last week.
Mr Antoci, 48, who survived an assassination attempt by the mafia in May, claimed the crime group ‘use the animals as arsonists’, and the cats burn all the bushes that they touch, reports Corriere Della Sera.
The park director added that five hundred forest fires do not spontaneously combust all at once.
He said: ‘One of the mob’s arson techniques is to tie a petrol-soaked rag to the tail of a cat and set fire to it. As its tail burns, the cat flees in terror into the undergrowth in the woods, setting fire to everything it touches.
That makes it harder for investigators to figure out where the fire was started and since the cat is eventually incinerated, they never find what caused the fire,’ reports The Times.
Last week the fires ravaged the island and nearly 6,000 hectares of land went up in smoke.
Schools had to be evacuated after a hot sirocco wind blew in from Africa, before forest fires started simultaneously breaking out across the island.

Ha! And you guys scoffed at my idea of using Sea Turtles as drug mules. Animals make for the perfect criminals. Talk a walk though Miami Metro Zoo or Parrot Jungle and you might as well be walking through Attica Correctional with the amount of potential criminals to carry out a ploy. Now this tactic, in practice, is a great idea. Simple find a cat wandering the streets and lure it to you with a little can of fancy feast and turn it into a roaming molotov cocktail because cats naturally hate humans unless they feel like being attention whores and fire burns things. Boom. In principle though, not sure if I’m down with this idea. I mean don’t get me wrong, it makes a statement. But somethings don’t connect. Like “You owe me protection money so im going to set this forest ablaze.” If anything I guess it’ll annoy the park ranger a lot when you have a lazy gig like guarding a park and then someone burns it to ashes, but that’s more for firefighters to deal with. Maybe if they just sent the guy a burnt cat wrapped in brown wrapping paper that said “GIVE ME THE PROTECTION MONEY OR IM GOING TO BURN YOU ALIVE” first to send a message before resorting to Arson on the entire region of Sicily. Not in those words of course, maybe something a little more subtle, but you get the point.

It’s Sea Turtle Nesting Season So Please Remember To Not Leave Any Trash On The Beach Or A Brick Of Cocaine For That Matter.

Sun Sentinel- When Doug Phinney walked into a bar on A1A about 1 a.m. Tuesday with an open kilo of suspected cocaine in his hands, he wasn't looking to make a sale or even worried about being arrested. In fact, he was looking for a cop. "I finally flagged down an officer driving by," said Phinney, 52, from Wilton Manors. "And I showed him what I found." Phinney made his discovery on the sands of Fort Lauderdale beach during a routine nighttime patrol as a volunteer with the Sea Turtle Oversight Program, designed to protect the behemoth sea creatures during the summer nesting season. During his four-hour patrol he did spot 11 loggerhead turtles who swam ashore to lay eggs.But it was the drugs that made the night memorable. "I was doing what I always do," said Phinney, on summer break from teaching legal studies at the online Florida Virtual School. "It was raining, the surf was crashing, there was a ton of seaweed on the beach, and then I saw this package the size of a brick. As soon as I picked it up I knew what it was." Phinney said he used a knife to slice open the package and found a white sticky substance that a Fort Lauderdale police dog seemed to recognize as cocaine. When police received a call about found narcotics, Officer Giovanni Morales responded, according to records. Three officers were soon on the scene, and all seemed rather blasé about the find, Phinney said. But the patrons of a nearby bar just north of Las Olas Boulevard were excited, Phinney said. "They said, 'You found that right out there? Man, you should have given it to me,'" said Phinney. Police made a report, and took possession of the suspected cocaine, Phinney said. Richard WhiteCloud, founding director of the Sea Turtle Oversight Program, said a monitor found a bale of suspected marijuana while on patrol about two weeks ago. But coming upon contraband is rare, he said. Phinney said when he cut the package open and got some of the product on his fingers he was tempted to rub a bit on his gums, as he's seen done in the movies. But he refrained. "You did the right thing," Phinney said the police told him.

Sun Sentinel– When Doug Phinney walked into a bar on A1A about 1 a.m. Tuesday with an open kilo of suspected cocaine in his hands, he wasn’t looking to make a sale or even worried about being arrested.
In fact, he was looking for a cop.
“I finally flagged down an officer driving by,” said Phinney, 52, from Wilton Manors. “And I showed him what I found.”
Phinney made his discovery on the sands of Fort Lauderdale beach during a routine nighttime patrol as a volunteer with the Sea Turtle Oversight Program, designed to protect the behemoth sea creatures during the summer nesting season. During his four-hour patrol he did spot 11 loggerhead turtles who swam ashore to lay eggs.But it was the drugs that made the night memorable.
“I was doing what I always do,” said Phinney, on summer break from teaching legal studies at the online Florida Virtual School. “It was raining, the surf was crashing, there was a ton of seaweed on the beach, and then I saw this package the size of a brick. As soon as I picked it up I knew what it was.”
Phinney said he used a knife to slice open the package and found a white sticky substance that a Fort Lauderdale police dog seemed to recognize as cocaine.
When police received a call about found narcotics, Officer Giovanni Morales responded, according to records.
Three officers were soon on the scene, and all seemed rather blasé about the find, Phinney said.
But the patrons of a nearby bar just north of Las Olas Boulevard were excited, Phinney said. “They said, ‘You found that right out there? Man, you should have given it to me,'” said Phinney.
Police made a report, and took possession of the suspected cocaine, Phinney said.
Richard WhiteCloud, founding director of the Sea Turtle Oversight Program, said a monitor found a bale of suspected marijuana while on patrol about two weeks ago. But coming upon contraband is rare, he said.
Phinney said when he cut the package open and got some of the product on his fingers he was tempted to rub a bit on his gums, as he’s seen done in the movies. But he refrained.
“You did the right thing,” Phinney said the police told him.

My first thought was “these damn kids and drug mules these days.” Absolutely no respect for public property and nature. As well known and popular as Ft Laudy beach is, you will occasionally find scraps of junk washed up on shore. I remember our 6th grade end of the year beach field trip ended with a buddy getting sea lice on his balls, but also with me finding scraps of a junked car that floated ashore. And then I think I also left like 30 soda cans on the floor because for some reason i decided to crack them open and pour them down my face like Stone Cold Steve Austin. Kids just have no respect for nature just leaving their trash and distribution amount of drugs everywhere

But then now thinking about it and growing up to see how absurd the world can be, It would be kinda fun, and maybe possible, to have a scenario where drug lords are intercepting wild sea turtles on mating season and strapping bricks of cocaine on them and having them bury it while they lay their sea turtle eggs. You laugh at that idea now but I think the term “Drug Mule” has at least a little something to do with actual real life actual mule animals. Think about it now, operation takes place at night, sea turtles bury things in sand, you can’t arrest sea turtles. Not saying its a well established drug trafficking plan. Maybe this was a test embargo. Yea it didn’t go quite accordingly with this one drop but if all things played out perfectly, sea turtles can probably move a couple hundred kilos by the end of mating season. Its the perfect crime.

 

Some Nova South Eastern Professor Thinks Sharks Can Cure Human Health Problems Via Shark DNA And Apparently Has Never Seen The Movie Deep Blue Sea

 

Sun Sentinel- The ocean’s deadliest predator could be the one, in years to come, that could save your life.

Nova Southeastern University professor Mahmood Shivji has found sharks are genetically more similar to humans than to other sea-going creatures.

And now he’s looking to see if there are ways people could benefit from the DNA that has allowed sharks to survive for 400 million years. The work could lead to help in fighting cancer tumors, healing wounds, building stronger tooth replacements and halting the growth of bacteria

“How the shark immune system works has great implications for human health problems, such as wound healing” said Shivji, who directs NSU’s Save Our Seas Shark Research Center and the Guy Harvey Research Institute.

Does no one in the entire NSU staff directory or student body not have a copy of Deep Blue Sea? Samuel L. Jackson, LL Cool J, Thomas Jane and mother fucking Michael Rappaport? Great Flick. Some one should really lend Professor Mahmood Shivji a copy of it sometime soon because, if so, he would realize that if he furthered his own plot of of using shark DNA to cure human health issues, he’s probably gonna end up be torn in half by a couple mammoth sized Mako Sharks with enough intelligence to learn and adapt to free them selves from containment and then rule the world. Not exactly what we as humans should strive for, Mahmood. Yea its an ambitious effort to try to cure all of our flawed human ailments, but we already know the future going down this path.

While we’re at it lend him Sharknado because it don’t hurt to precaution the professor when it comes to stuff that can put humans out of 1st place of the food chain.

We Got Giant Monitor Lizards In Thailand

AOL- Attanai Thaiyuanwong was in for a rude surprise on Sunday when he arrived back at his home in Nonthaburi, Thailand, to find an unwelcome visitor trying to get into his house. The intruder was a giant monitor lizard, that looked as tall as an adult human, was standing upright on its hind legs with its mouth around the door knob. SEE ALSO: Chinese village under siege by wild monkeys after tourism plans backfire In Thai tradition, monitor lizards are believed to bring good fortune to those who encounter them. Known as "Tua Ngern Tua Thong", Thais also call the reptiles "Hia!" which apparently means "F**k!".ccording to a translation by Coconuts Bangkok, a man can be heard shouting in Thai, "Hia is in our house. It's f**king huge!", while a dog barked in the background. A woman then said: "They say if you throw a coin at it, it will go away!" The group continued to debate off-camera on what to do until the giant reptile wagged its tail, and everyone screamed. Later, an unidentified man was seen trying to lure the lizard away with some rope

AOL– Attanai Thaiyuanwong was in for a rude surprise on Sunday when he arrived back at his home in Nonthaburi, Thailand, to find an unwelcome visitor trying to get into his house.
The intruder was a giant monitor lizard, that looked as tall as an adult human, was standing upright on its hind legs with its mouth around the door knob.
SEE ALSO: Chinese village under siege by wild monkeys after tourism plans backfire
In Thai tradition, monitor lizards are believed to bring good fortune to those who encounter them. Known as “Tua Ngern Tua Thong”, Thais also call the reptiles “Hia!” which apparently means “F**k!”.ccording to a translation by Coconuts Bangkok, a man can be heard shouting in Thai, “Hia is in our house. It’s f**king huge!”, while a dog barked in the background.
A woman then said: “They say if you throw a coin at it, it will go away!”
The group continued to debate off-camera on what to do until the giant reptile wagged its tail, and everyone screamed.
Later, an unidentified man was seen trying to lure the lizard away with some rope

Now I’ve said a billion times that I hate shit like this and it freaks me out immensely. Nothing cute about it, their skins all gross, they do that tongue shit, they’re the size of oxen and now their invading homes. It’s fucking gross. When that thing does a tail whip i want nothing short of a RPG grenade launcher to launch that shit away from me. But this time I’m going to feel a little bit bad for the lizard. A lot of times we see videos like this where some bizarre reptile breaks into a house, its like in Australia or some European country where everyone speaks English and is for the most part civilized. They just want it gone. I don’t know if i can say the same about this lizard being in Thailand. They can say all they want about how they dragged it away with a rope or threw pennies at it to scare it away, but most likely that dinosaur got dragged through a village and cooked over an open fire. They’ll eat anything over there I’m pretty sure and that even grosses me out, but when it comes to me, i just want it to have a quick death by a hail of gun fire or a swift grenade to put the thing out of its misery (and eviscerate any bit of its existence.)  But I can see this random Thai village just dragging it over coals till its cooked to death and then being split among the village. I’m not gonna feel that bad about it because, again, they’re gross as fuck, But sometimes a place like Thailand in the summer is a crueler fate than death.

Some One Put Bieber Music In A Time Machine And Remixed It Into an 80’s Song And Its Lava Hot

Magnum. Absolute work of art. Is Bieber on par with Michael Jackson’s legacy? Definitely not yet, but I definitely think it will be. And you know what? If you rigged up a time machine and took this remix back into the 80’s with your white suit and turtle neck Miami Vice look and walked into a dance club and threw on this track it would make Michael Jackson dance. It’s that hot. Now am I being a bit biased? Probably, because I love all the 80s music. The beats were so funky and smooth at the same time. But this remix from Tronicbox is a perfect gem. It sounds peak 80’s and not in a way that turned the track into a mockery. Bieber’s voice over power ballads legit work. Some how if it were possible Tronicbox and Bieber should some how retroactively get millions from this track in 1985’s dollar because it’s that good and that 80’s.

Side note- Michael Jackson also probably wished he was Bieber. On par singing and dancing wise but gets to be young and white naturally. Must of been super jealous

 

Screen Rant: X-Men Apocalypse

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Here we go. Summer time movie season is one of my favorites. Don’t need to pretend to be intellectual when going to the movies because everyone knows summer is for blockbuster movies where things blow up. Last time I gave you Captain America: Civil War, this week its another Marvel comic book movie X-men Apocalypse. All in all a decent flick. I’m not looking for anything smart or overly complicated. Just wanted a world ending scenario that gets solved in like 30 minutes via a battle scene. Civil War was better of the summer comic book flicks by far but I give X Men Apocalypse a solid 7.5/10. Of the rebooted X men series, I thought this one was the 2nd best. Days of Future Past comes in at 1 and First Class at the bottom because its the cheesiest and if it wasn’t for the fact that I enjoy fantasizing about Rose Byrne, First Class is steps below DoFP.

Now we all know the main plot of premise of Apocalypse right? Apocalypse comes back to life because a couple of Egyptians bring him back and he’s dissatisfied with the world so he plans to wipe it out and do what with it? no idea really. Build it all in his image i guess? Maybe a harem of Egyptian mutants chicks to serve him? That’d be pretty cool. Well after the hearing about Magnetos family getting murked, Charles tries to find him but in the process Apocalypse senses the Professors telepathy powers and gets a super hard on for it so he snatches him wheel chair and all and its left to the team to go save him before Apocalypse wipes out all standing structures. Like I said. Simple, decent amount of action. It’s a 7.5. Now onto the random stuff.

Moses Was The World’s Second Most Powerful Mutant

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I mean this is a no brainer right? At least in the X-men universe now that they know that the whole 4 horseman of the apocalypse scenario was really a mutant than only a thousand years and a few steps later has to lead them to believe that Moses was won of them. Not only was he one of the world’s most powerful mutants but I bet he was suppose to take out Apocalypse in one of the most ultimate 1 on 1 battles right? Egyptian high Pharaoh mutant versus a lowly Israelite mutant. Now in a head to head battle I’m still pretty sure Apocalypse wins in a 7 game series but I wouldn’t exactly sleep on Moses either. Yea Apocalypse has the upper hand pure strength wise, the guy can manipulate his form, shape, density, etc. Telekinesis is obviously an upper hand and being able to manipulate things on a molecular level is pretty dope, but you gotta look at what Moses has done and know that it would go to a full 7 games.

En Sabah Nur has to cheat life by putting his mind in another mutant’s body so I’m just going to guess that Apocalypse has an average life expectancy of 80 years old. A decent amount of time to control so much power but Moses lived to 120 years on sheer will to try to find the promise land. Durability wise, that puts Moses as a clear advantage over Apocalypse. He’s like Jagr or Gordie Howe, playing and contributing way beyond the typical prime age. So we already have a durable fighter in Moses but he’s also powerful as fuck. Maybe a powerful telepath like Jean Grey could part a lake or something but Moses parted an entire fucking sea. The amount of mutant power one has to have to part and ocean long enough for your crew of Israelites to cross the ocean and then obliterate an entire army afterwards? Pretty hardcore shit. And then best of all are Moses and his ability to create the events of the Plague of Egypt. Manipulating elements such as water and turning it into blood? That’s definitely on par with anything that Apocalypse can do. His ability to control animals? That must be a bitch to deal with in combat. Sure he only sent frogs, lice, and locusts and shit that’s annoying more than anything but I’m pretty sure if they fought maybe somewhere down by the pacific he could manipulate sharks or something. That definitely kicks that ability up a notch. Thunder storms and hail? Hey Storm, you’re probably related to Moses. What else was there? Oh yea death of the first born. Thats the “I’m Not Fucking Around” Moses ability. He’ll just kill your kid. Lamb blood or no lamb blood, that mother fucker will fuck around and kill your baby just for fun. Does that have any real statistical effect on Apocalypse? No, but that’s just one of those intangibles you gotta look for in a fight. A guy who’s willing to go a little bit crazier than usual. Tyson bit off Holyfield’s ear, Moses will silently kill your kid in the dead of night. Id put my money on Moses.

Also going back for a second to the whole frogs locust and lice things…..

Jews And The Mutant Gene

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You know who else had the ability to control animals? Little Nina Gurzsky, Erik’s daughter. Now there are obviously parallels between mutants and Jews especially in Nazi Germany time. Things like in DoFP where they keep them in interment camps and stuff and First Class having a setting in Auschwitz with Erik as a kid learning to be Magneto. And sure its a small sample size of mostly of Moses, who I’m pretending is a Mutant, and Magneto but there has to be something about Jews and mutants. What exactly I don’t know but Moses, the Middle East, Egypt, Magneto and the fact that Erik’s daughter has abilities like Moses, there has to be some relation and if not they should make it one because it seems like Jewish Mutant are more special or more powerful than the others. The Chosen Ones Chosen One’s.

IMDB Commenters

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Jeez, Buzz Lightyear. Keep it in your pants. Now I know I’m suppose to assume Blights is a male but that doesn’t mean I have to assume his sexual orientation is heterosexual. Hey Cyclops, congrats on having a pair of DSLs bro.

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How is this question being asked? No one actually thinks this is a tricky match up do they? Hogwarts, as much as I grew up with them, ain’t shit. Voldemort ( yea I said his bitch ass name) has yet to do anything in the real world I think. So yea killing curses are cute and all but has he ever had cold steel pressed against his dome? I think not. One gun shot is all it takes and that’s probably the most pussy attack in x-men history. That being said, its Mutants in a land slide. Xavier taps into their brains and wipes out their memory, Tom Riddle wanders the earth getting made fun of for having no nose.

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Well Otterox, way to brag about having sex with the wife. A bit of a humble brag but that’s neither here nor there. First off it depends what you think makes a good film to make out too. Maybe you’re like Jerry Seinfeld and can get off while watching movies like Schindler’s List. Me personally I don’t wouldn’t want for sex to get in the way of a decent summer blockbuster. Nothing sexual about watching Erik Lehnsherr cry in anger watching his wife and daughter get murdered (Spoiler alert!). Maybe if the cast was a bit hotter? I know Buzz Lightyear up there can’t not picture Cyclops sucking a dick but aside from Olivia Munn in a total screen time of 5 minutes scattered here and there, there’s nothing sexy about the cast really. If you want to get your rocks off watching a grey/blue guy want to decimate the modern world then go for it but it wouldn’t be my cup of tea to get the mood going.

Alright well that wraps it up for the X-Men Apocalyspe screen rant. I still hold firmly that Moses was a powerful Mutant and don’t tell the Christians or Muslims otherwise. Anything I miss or have a movie suggestion? Leave a comment below.

Kids Are Mixing Mountain Dew With Fucking RACING FUEL And Guess What? It’s Killing People

Health experts have today warned teenagers of the dangers of drinking a cocktail of racing fuel and Mountain Dew, known as 'DewShine'. It comes six months after two teen boys died in rural Tennessee, having drunk the concoction - which includes methanol.   Logan Stephenson, a 16-year-old student at Greenbriar High School, was found dead in his bed the morning of January 21.  Just minutes later, paramedics were called to Stephenson's best friend J.D. Byram's house, when the boy started having seizures.  Five days later, J.D died in hospital from the effects of the drink. In a report released today, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention documents investigations into the two deaths. Experts urge parents, teachers, community leaders and healthcare professionals do warn young people of the dangers of drinking 'DewShine'. Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3635677/DewShine-KILL-CDC-warns-teens-not-touch-lethal-cocktail-racing-fuel-Mountain-Dew-two-boys-died-drinking-concoction.html#ixzz4BU3dbroA Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook Racing fuel is typically 100 per cent methanol - an organic solvent commonly found in the laboratory, industrial and automotive industries and residential products. The CDC report notes just one tablespoon, or 15ml of methanol can prove fatal.  Police investigating the deaths reported that the boys obtained half a gallon (1.9 liters) of an unknown brand of racing fuel. Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3635677/DewShine-KILL-CDC-warns-teens-not-touch-lethal-cocktail-racing-fuel-Mountain-Dew-two-boys-died-drinking-concoction.html#ixzz4BU3gXBoR Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook They they mixed an unknown quantity of that racing fuel with the soda in a 2L bottle, which they then took to a party. Two friends with the boys at the time also drank the cocktail - around two ounces - and survived. Logan, aged 16, was found dead at his home around 11 hours after ingesting the cocktail. His best friend, J.D, was found suffering a seizure at home about 12 hours after the friends drank DewShine. He was taken to the emergency room where tests revealed he had 175mg/dL of methanol in his bloodstream - the presence of any methanol at all is abnormal, the CDC notes. Despite 'aggressive measures' taken by doctors to treat J.D, the teenager passed away five days later.  Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3635677/DewShine-KILL-CDC-warns-teens-not-touch-lethal-cocktail-racing-fuel-Mountain-Dew-two-boys-died-drinking-concoction.html#ixzz4BU3iBeMN Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook The CDC report notes that the amount drunk by Logan and J.D is not known, though an empty 2L bottle was recovered at the scene of the party. After the death of Logan and hospitalization of J.D, the two surviving friends came forward to the authorities and admitted the four of them had made a cocktail from Mountain Dew soda and racing fuel.  They were monitored at hospital before being released.  The lethal cocktail is known as 'DewShine' but is not the same as DEWshine, an non-alcoholic beverage made by PepsiCo.   At the time local police raised concerns that teenagers may be drinking DewShine as an alternative to alcohol, which the law prevents them from buying. Racing fuel costs about $7.50 a gallon and when mixed with Mountain Dew, it's still much more potent than regular hard alcohol. CDC experts warn the initial signs and symptoms of methanol intoxication are similar to being drunk. After after six to 36 hours, depending on the amount of the cocktail a person has drunk, they will likely become drowsy and suffer nausea and vomiting, as well as abdominal pain. Later, more serious symptoms can develop, including visual disturbances, abnormal breathing, altered mental state, seizures, cerebral edema - swelling of the brain caused by excessive fluid - an ultimately death. The CDC report states: 'The absence of severe signs or symptoms after ingestion should not deter medical evaluation. 'Early medical assessment and rapid treatment can increases chances for survival.'     Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3635677/DewShine-KILL-CDC-warns-teens-not-touch-lethal-cocktail-racing-fuel-Mountain-Dew-two-boys-died-drinking-concoction.html#ixzz4BU3ke3UF Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Health experts have today warned teenagers of the dangers of drinking a cocktail of racing fuel and Mountain Dew, known as ‘DewShine’.
It comes six months after two teen boys died in rural Tennessee, having drunk the concoction – which includes methanol.
Logan Stephenson, a 16-year-old student at Greenbriar High School, was found dead in his bed the morning of January 21.
Just minutes later, paramedics were called to Stephenson’s best friend J.D. Byram’s house, when the boy started having seizures.
Five days later, J.D died in hospital from the effects of the drink.
In a report released today, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention documents investigations into the two deaths.
Experts urge parents, teachers, community leaders and healthcare professionals do warn young people of the dangers of drinking ‘DewShine’.
Racing fuel is typically 100 per cent methanol – an organic solvent commonly found in the laboratory, industrial and automotive industries and residential products.
The CDC report notes just one tablespoon, or 15ml of methanol can prove fatal.
Police investigating the deaths reported that the boys obtained half a gallon (1.9 liters) of an unknown brand of racing fuel.
They they mixed an unknown quantity of that racing fuel with the soda in a 2L bottle, which they then took to a party.
Two friends with the boys at the time also drank the cocktail – around two ounces – and survived.
Logan, aged 16, was found dead at his home around 11 hours after ingesting the cocktail.
His best friend, J.D, was found suffering a seizure at home about 12 hours after the friends drank DewShine.
He was taken to the emergency room where tests revealed he had 175mg/dL of methanol in his bloodstream – the presence of any methanol at all is abnormal, the CDC notes.
Despite ‘aggressive measures’ taken by doctors to treat J.D, the teenager passed away five days later.
The CDC report notes that the amount drunk by Logan and J.D is not known, though an empty 2L bottle was recovered at the scene of the party.
After the death of Logan and hospitalization of J.D, the two surviving friends came forward to the authorities and admitted the four of them had made a cocktail from Mountain Dew soda and racing fuel.
They were monitored at hospital before being released.
The lethal cocktail is known as ‘DewShine’ but is not the same as DEWshine, an non-alcoholic beverage made by PepsiCo.
At the time local police raised concerns that teenagers may be drinking DewShine as an alternative to alcohol, which the law prevents them from buying.
Racing fuel costs about $7.50 a gallon and when mixed with Mountain Dew, it’s still much more potent than regular hard alcohol.
CDC experts warn the initial signs and symptoms of methanol intoxication are similar to being drunk.
After after six to 36 hours, depending on the amount of the cocktail a person has drunk, they will likely become drowsy and suffer nausea and vomiting, as well as abdominal pain.
Later, more serious symptoms can develop, including visual disturbances, abnormal breathing, altered mental state, seizures, cerebral edema – swelling of the brain caused by excessive fluid – an ultimately death.
The CDC report states: ‘The absence of severe signs or symptoms after ingestion should not deter medical evaluation.
‘Early medical assessment and rapid treatment can increases chances for survival.’

Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle. Drinking racing fuel is bad for your health?? Get outta town! I would never have guessed that drinking nearly 100% Methanol fuel that is combustible and used for racing cars at a very high speed, is bad for your health. Stunned.

Now obviously it sucks people died but also, I’m not gonna feel too bad because who the fuck would think drinking race fuel is a great idea? When you’re pumping gas and the smell starts to hit your brain and you get a little light headed you shouldn’t be wondering what this 87 octane gasoline taste like. Something like this could fly if it were still 2000 but c’mon. It’s 2016. We know that colliding our brains together will give people concussions and that inhaling smoke at 2 packs a day will probably lead to lung cancer. One can pretty safely guess that drinking high octane racing fuel probably isn’t the best for ya.

Now when it comes to any medical related issues I put on my doctor hat and remember everything I saw from the Tv show House. Remember when LL cool J drank toner fluid that was also pure methanol? I do, and knowing that I woulda told these kids the cure to keep the methanol from ravaging their livers is to drink like pure vodka because Gregory House did it for some reason I can’t remember but it fixed LL Cool J if it wasn’t for another lingering medical condition that the show solved later on, so its right. That’s what you call irony. Kids drinking Mountain Dew and Racing fuel to get fucked up and the only cure to saving their lives would’ve been more alcohol.

P.s- Should out to early 2000 rap music for making drinking out of a gas can look cool. Still don’t know if they were drinking gasoline out of those things or just pouring beer in there. Or henny? i dont know all i know is that in the Dirty they them boys that drank you under the table.

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Also shout out to me for thinking it would be fun to try fire spitting with no practice what so ever so I pour my self a cup of gasoline and nearly choked and lit my insides on fire.

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Jewish Leader Thinks Girls Riding A Bicycle Past 5 Years Old Is Immodest

Independent- An ultra-orthodox Jewish leader has reportedly banned girls aged five and older in some areas of Israel from riding bicycles - claiming it is “immodest”. The rabbi of the Jerusalem neighbourhood of Nahloat distributed the stringent decree to his followers in synagogues across the area. He had said young girls riding bicycles could “cause serious damage to their modesty” and that bicycle seats caused young girls to sit in a way men found “provocative”, according to the Arutz Sheva 7 website.

Independent– An ultra-orthodox Jewish leader has reportedly banned girls aged five and older in some areas of Israel from riding bicycles – claiming it is “immodest”.
The rabbi of the Jerusalem neighbourhood of Nahloat distributed the stringent decree to his followers in synagogues across the area.
He had said young girls riding bicycles could “cause serious damage to their modesty” and that bicycle seats caused young girls to sit in a way men found “provocative”, according to the Arutz Sheva 7 website.

Well there you have it. According to this Jewish leader riding bikes are turning girls into little temptresses. And here I thought it was just guys pressuring girls into sex and their biological hormones exploding in their teens. Nope. It was those schwinn bikes being sold all over the world. Those TV ads and billboards featuring sexy perfect models that our imperfect eyeballs have to watch aren’t what make us into promiscuous people. Its those damn bicycles on the streets.

 

I Can’t Stop Laughing At This Bird That Got Absolutely Doused In Curry

The bird fell into a container of chicken tikka masala while trying to scavenge a piece of meat from a food factory bin. He was rescued by workers at the undisclosed site in south east Wales and picked up by a volunteer for Vale Wildlife Hospital near Tewkesbury. Staff at the centre used washing up liquid to clean the gull's feathers. They managed to return him back to his original white colour but have not been able to wash away the smell. Lucy Kells, a veterinary nurse at the hospital in Worcestershire, said: "He really surprised everyone here - we had never seen anything like it before. "The thing that shocked us the most was the smell. He smelled amazing, he really smelled good."

BBC The bird fell into a container of chicken tikka masala while trying to scavenge a piece of meat from a food factory bin.
He was rescued by workers at the undisclosed site in south east Wales and picked up by a volunteer for Vale Wildlife Hospital near Tewkesbury.
Staff at the centre used washing up liquid to clean the gull’s feathers.
They managed to return him back to his original white colour but have not been able to wash away the smell.
Lucy Kells, a veterinary nurse at the hospital in Worcestershire, said: “He really surprised everyone here – we had never seen anything like it before.
“The thing that shocked us the most was the smell. He smelled amazing, he really smelled good.”

_89929600_seagull

Poor fella. Just trying to live among humans living day by day picking off food that gets scattered all over the ground but got a little too ambitious this one time. Probably thought he had a clear window of time to get the entire pot of chicken tikka masala all to him self. Make away scot free while other scrub birds pick from the bones. Its one of those things where you’re so in over your head you don’t even remember where you fucked up but one second you’re a white seagull and the next you’re orange and you look like a Dr. Seuss character. The main orange is gone but if you ever fucked with curry you know that poor birds skin is still orangey yellow and that smell will stick with him for awhile.