Tag Archives: Iron Man

Screen Rants: Spiderman: Homecoming ****SPOILERS MAYBE****

Thrilled by his experience with the Avengers, young Peter Parker returns home to live with his Aunt May. Under the watchful eye of mentor Tony Stark, Parker starts to embrace his newfound identity as Spider-Man. He also tries to return to his normal daily routine — distracted by thoughts of proving himself to be more than just a friendly neighborhood superhero. Peter must soon put his powers to the test when the evil Vulture emerges to threaten everything that he holds dear.

Prime time Summer blockbuster season is in effect. Nothing on TV besides baseball. Everyone’s going back to work from their 4th of July weekend. We’re in the dog days of summer which means everyone should sit in a nice cool movie theater to burn off a couple of hours to escape the heat and no better way to do that than to peep Spiderman: Homecoming.

At this point if you’ve been keeping up about the movie you know people are saying its the best Spiderman film to date. Honestly I have nothing to say otherwise. I never hated the Tobey or Andrew Garfield Spiderman’s but I certainly didn’t love them. There was the awkward scene from Spider-man 1 with him and Green Goblin with no facial movements and all dialogue.

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Such a dumb look to have the very expressive movements with no actual mouth movements. And then there was the stiff statue swing scene where He rescues MJ and it was just her holding onto a dummy behind a green screen. A dummy that was as stiff as Tobey’s acting in the rest of the movie. Is it petty that those 2 things make me hate the movie that has way more flaws than just that? I don’t care. Now many people argue that Spider-man 2 was one of the best super hero movies of all time and while I don’t have anything bad to say about it, I enjoyed Homecoming much more. And Spider-man 3? That movie stunk to high heavens.

The Amazing Spiderman tried to hearken back to some comic book material with Gwen Stacy and his own brains coming up with the webbing but still tried to do the same old origin story format which means the movie will spend up to 45 minutes of screen time watching him get the spider bite and watching his uncle die again and again.

If they made another Spiderman origin movie, it probably would’ve been okay, would’ve made a bunch of money and go through the love and hate cycles of most movies, but this time they tried to do everything different. When Batman V. Superman came out the 1st 15 minutes is watching Batman’s parents get killed again. Been there done that. Not interested. This Spiderman is younger and we get to ignore poor Uncle Ben get lit up in the streets of New York. Thank god. You didn’t go see Titanic to watch a big ass boat sink into the ice, you watched it for love and the nude scene. We’ll you don’t go watch Spiderman just to watch some old white guy get shot and killed. Comic book movies are for kids and the inner kids inside us and the last thing our inner kid wants to do is watch a funeral scene get in the way of watching Super hero stuff.

We knew since Civil War they wanted to have a fresh start and avoid the cliche marks of the Spiderman story and they do a good job of it in Homecoming. Besides the whole “Uncle Ben I’m shot and dead but do the right thing” scene, Homecoming is just refreshing to see with the different things going on. It takes place a substantial amount outside of Manhattan. Crazy to think that location can play that much but we’re so use to seeing Peter swing around NYC. This one we got locations in DC, the Suburbs and in 40,000 fucking feet in the sky. It just all feels so new and different just from the look of the setting to the cast of characters that are different. We don’t get the super aggressive Flash who always seems like is going to end up a wife beater that somehow made it to a school for nerds. Seriously, in The Amazing Spiderman he was about to beat up a kid just for existing and made it seem like he was suppose to be a highly recruited D1 athlete that is also a nerd because he goes to a fancy school. Guy was suppose to be a Ryan Fitzpatrick type with tendencies to dabble into physical domestic abuse. In this one we actually see Spiderman have a friend. I know Spider-man 1 he had Harry but lets be real, guy fucked MJ in that one. At that moment, he’s no friend of Spidey’s at all.

Another thing I like is just the little nuances that Spiderman has that just seem to add to his character’s believability. First off we get an awesome suit. Again, the old one’s were fine but inconceivable that they come up with and tailor make a stream line suit that was fit for combat. Well here, simple. It takes place in the MCU so Stark and his billions of dollars just fabricates one. That just opens the door to so much more. What I like about the 3rd Iron man movie and Age of Ultron was to see the different interactions with the suit. Iron man 3 had a modular suit with prehensile capabilities that let him just wear pieces of the suit. In AoU you see it in parts on Tony where chest and back pieces just fly onto him. Those kind of interactions just add to the magic of film, despite those not being the favorite among their own series. If you slow down AoU you can actually see him close in his hand when he summons the hand/arm gauntlet just so it can fit over and wrap around his arm. Well in this we actually see a very reasonable technique for Peter to put on the suit. It just vacuum seals onto him. Where the other suits look like they need to be painted on. And then there’s just things like watching him use the web shooters. The old movies the web shooting ability was more of a vehicle for him to travel but in this one it just feels like he utilizes it more as a weapon than previous versions. At one point he fights The Vulture and you see him connecting the web together and slapping his hands down to connect it to the ferry and various uses of the web to take out bad guys. Just little details like that that make me wonder if there was in fact a teenage boy in New York that can do all of this, this is how he would specifically do it.

We’d be remiss if we didn’t mention Michael Keaton’s performance. Honestly guy knocks it out of the park. I need to buy one of those Aviator jackets ASAP because even though I probably would look like an asshole wearing it in Florida, it looks bad ass. And the Vulture winged suit itself was awesome. When the word started trickling out that the bad guy was going to the the Vulture, I immediately looked it up and you got a guy that looked like a bald Izzy Mandelbaum in green spandex with feathers. Going from that idea to what we got with this jet fighter hover wing suit was a total 180. The fighter pilot look was bad ass since Top Gun, well add that and giant alien powered metal wing jets that lets you roam around New York City. Even his character outside of the bird suit was pretty menacing. I think the MCU has gotten a lot of unfair criticism that their bad guy’s suck. Well in the story line of the movie, I think The Vulture and Spiderman are on a very stream line path towards each other that when they finally go head to head in the 3rd act, you are very on the edge of your seat ready to see what happens.

Aside from that a little notes here and there, I really didn’t know what to expect from Zendaya’s role. She had a large part of the promotion of the movie so I figured she would have a much larger role than what she had but keep in mind that this is a movie universe and I think they set her up for much more in the future, and by far one of my favorite scenes in the movie was Peter walking into his Homecoming dance and he sees her and she just waives and gives him the finger. Delivery was hilarious. And besides that a lot of people were saying that this was like an Iron man film with some Spiderman. Honestly he doesn’t over shadow the movie at all. He just plays the role of a mentor and pops in here and there but besides what you see in the trailers and to help set up the time line but not much more than that. Who I wish had a larger role was Marisa Tomei. Honestly didn’t think she had enough screen time but what little scenes she was in, she did a good job just playing the fun aunt. Always thought it was wild knowing that it was suppose to be an Aunt and from Spiderman 1 they give us a frail old lady who was suppose to be the same age as Peter’s mom.

When the news first came out, I remember them saying they wanted to treat it like a John Hughes film and they even make a little homage cameo to Farris Bueller’s Day Off. It goes along with the new approach to Super hero movies that are geared more as a genre film. Winter Soldier a Spy thriller, Ant Man a heist movie, Ragnarok is suppose to be like a buddy road trip film. Well I think Homecoming does a decent enough job in making me care about the teenage drama side of being Peter Parker as much as I want to see the Spiderman side. I like how the director, John Watts said that at that age everything is hard from passing in school, to talking to girls, to being a super hero taking on villains. Now can I relate to that last part? No. But I think the film does a decent job in the balance between Peter Parker as the kid and Peter Parker as Spiderman and the transitional periods in between and that ,in the end, is the conflict and the center of any Spiderman movie and this movie does a decent job in highlighting that.  Its a fresh take on a Spiderman movie, and a Super hero movie, and another addition to the MCU. Solid 8/10. Enjoyable Summer movie and the best version of Spiderman so far.

 

Other Notes For The MCU

 

Nebula the Patricide

I don’t know if I said this at the time when I wrote the Post for GotG Vol. 2 but I have a sneaky feeling that Nebula is going to be the one to put the dagger in Thanos. No one else has the distinct motive to kill Thanos. Like Tony Stark doesn’t even know the guy exist right now. But after re-watching GotG Vol. 2, first off that scene where Nebula and and Gomora talk and says Thanos pulled her eye from her head and her brain from her skull and arm from her body and how she always just wanted a sister was one of the most heart wrenching moments I’ve ever seen. By far one of the best lines given in the entire MCU, but that has to make her the one to kill Thanos. Sure one of the 60 other characters in the Marvel world are gonna help in doing that, but I need Nebula to be the one to pull the trigger, one, because I have that theory out now a year before the movie comes out, and two, because she is the most justified in doing so.

 

 

Russo Brother’s Tweet

Now a tweet before this….

was obviously a screen shot of the cage door that opens up to reveal the Infinity Gauntlet. So the big question is wtf is that thing now they’re tweeting out that’s gonna make the nerds scratch their head as they try to figure out what it is. Some people are saying some special Arc Reactor for stark? Some Portal thing? Me personally, I think Stark knows he’s going to need Caps help in Infinity Wars and they’re going to get the squad back together and after he saw that the current shield has Black Panther claw marks in it, he decides to rebuild a super shield of sorts. I mean the outside kind of looks like the shield for one, and two, we’ve seen that in Iron Man 2, there is more to it than just a thin layer of vibranium that went into the original prototype, and three, im pretty sure they mention a new shield for cap at one point in Homecoming so Looks like i might be right.

Screen Rant: “Captain America: Civil War”

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Trying to bring another weekly segment for all you who just can’t get enough of Ed Lee’s stupid opinions in life. At one point in my life i actually wanted to go to school for Film but didn’t because I hate all those artsy hipster types and hated everyone in film school who took film and obviously casted themselves in a short film where there’s a scene with them in bed with a girl. Happens all the time. So I have no expertise in film, i just know i like being entertained, but this segment isn’t even necessarily a review on movies. Im not trying to be Roger Ebert here besides the fact that he loved Steak n’ Shake. Im here just to talk about a film weekly, in theaters or not, the way you and you’re friends talk about film. All this is, is a ranting about movies. This will contain spoilers. Enjoy.

Well here we are folks, we have officially entered Summer blockbuster season in the world of cinema and with Captain America Civil War being out, I took the time to go watch.  Overall grade, a solid 8.9. Its a banger of a marvel film/comic book film/action film. It’s got everything i need from some mild humor, believable action, star loaded cast etc. Now im not a comic book person but i have taken an interest in movies from the MCU and DCEU. I don’t quite want to be THAT person but Marvel and the MCU just takes a dump all over DCEU’s stuff. Batman v. Superman I wanted like so much. I told myself that everyone hated it so much that I was just going to force myself to love it, and while i did think some parts weren’t THAT bad, I’d over all just give that a 6.9 (ni.ce) maybe a 7. If those DC nerds jump on your throat tell em to send em my way.

Now obviously if you haven’t gotten the memo, Captain America: Civil War is based on the comic book cross over of Marvel: Civil War. When the 1st trailer came around i decided i wanted to delve into this shit and i read Civil war and im gonna be honest. I could care less about the differences between the two. If anyone follows that @GeeksandCleats chick, along with the other assortment of people who want to slam on the MCU, on twitter you’ll hear her rambling saying “If they’re gonna do civil war, it should be CIVIL WAR!” That type of thinking is just dumb. Their argument is directed to the now famous airport scene in this movie where both sides line up and charge head to head where it should look like a comics splash page like this:wallpaper-civil-war-face-off-the-marvel-comic-wallpapers-wallpaper-310487

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Yea don’t get me wrong, I get that there’s a huge difference, but the simple fact of the matter is they don’t have the rights to most of those characters and since the MCU at this point is one on going series, do these idiots on twitter REALLY think it would be reasonable to out of no where add like 500 different comic book heros? fucking no. The movie industry is a business in the end and one that’s keeping the comic book industry alive probably. You think i give 2 shits to READ about Tony Stark and Steve Rodgers being mad at each other over 20 different comics? No. Throw it in an action packed movie in an air conditioned theater with reclining seats however, and all of a sudden i decided to actually read some of the comics (illegal download so they don’t see any of that money but tevs.) But after reading the comics, that version kinda stinks. Captain America just gives up all of a sudden because he realizes he was gonna murder the shit out of Iron Man when the world likes Iron Man because he was a face they could trust because he was willing to give into the demands of the people. All in all movies holds up and entertains way more than the comics. I give it a solid 8. Now onto things that no one else is talking about in the movie….

Women Were The Cause Of This Mess.

Women, I tell ya. Can’t live with em, can’t live with out em. Now did Captain America and Tony Stark have a budding rivalry since they met in the Avengers? Yes. But lets turn to the each sides respective captains and the booty that blinds them. First we got Captain and his legacy of Carter women he wants to run through.MmtsLrY

Listen not all of us are bona fide studs growing up. Some kids are a bit nerdy, maybe too dumb or what have you. Steve Rodgers was a a tiny little shrimp who wear his own weight in clothing. 5’4″ 95 pounds of nothing but heart is respectable but that alone didn’t get you laid in the 1940’s. They wanted soldiers with guns, muscles, and big dicks. No chance a woman besides his mother ever gave Steve any attention. Next thing you know he’s in Camp Lehigh with a Agent Carter batting eye lashes at you with sexual red lipstick eye fucking your scrawny ass. Those moments in life when you think you first get the change to get your dick wet are memorable ones. And you know who else makes a memorable moment? The one that got away. You know you were one move away from taking down your white whale. Like you’re one corner away from finding the elusive snow leopard. Those moments in life were taken by Peggy Carter. That chick lives on a pedestal in Cap’s mind and if it wasn’t for the fact that her bones were about as fragile as paper thin glass, he would fuck her nearly dead lifeless body as long as she could still breathe with or with out a life support system. She’s that impressionable in his mind and probably even more since that super soldier serum multiplies things. So he already has a compound affect of being booty blinded by just one girl.

Couple decades later after spending time frozen in snow with no pussy to show for it, this hot young blonde moves in next door and finds out shes actually a sleeper agent set up to spy on you so you know shes seen his whole super soldier deal. She wants it. You know it, she knows it, the whole Marvel Cinematic Universe knows it. So when life takes away the one pussy you’ve wanted your entire 98 years of existence and you find out the girl next door who is dtf and related to the same chick from the 40s. You have to fuck her no matter the games she plays. It’s like 3 movie chick cliches, The first love, the one that got away, and the girl next door wrapped into one hot blonde, you gotta do what you can to nail that chick even if it means letting her influence your decision that can risk the lives of every single person on earth and can mean your immediate detainment.

We all know where ever Steve goes Falcon goes with. Literally need to convince one person to sign the treaty and The Avengers can be whole again, fighting crime with the world behind them because the people have a say in what the people want when it comes to letting superheros entering your land and turning it into an active war zone, but no, it couldn’t be that simple all because of Sharon Carter and her stupid eulogy and antiquated quote from her grandma who, at the time, had to fight for woman’s rights in the world in a completely different era that operates different from our modern times. Even in Winter Soldier Peggy admits the world has changed and that they should start over with things. But that’s what happens when you’re booty blinded man. You try to do what ever it you can to get that booty, the only difference is for any regular man it doesn’t mean tearing apart a team that’s been used to save the world from eminent death.

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(I don’t know what this is from or if its just photo-shopped but whatever)

The Carter women aren’t the only one fucking with men and the lively hood of billions who need saving in times of chaos. Fucking Pepper Potts takes some blame here too. So spoiler alert, you find out that her and Tony are on a little break because she can’t handle Tony’s hobby/career. Listen its one thing if you’re boyfriend is a drug addict and just can’t drop the habit of using, another thing if your boo is some war criminal murdering millions. But Pepper Potts is literally asking her man to stop creating technology that can change the human life for the better as well as stop fighting not just petty crimes, but crimes and danger that can risk the end of the world. Everyone knows you need a smart guy in your crew and when the stakes are that high risking millions of lives, he needs to be a genius and Pepper is literally trying to take that away from the Avengers. Thor is a Norse god and a sexual Adonis but all he knows to do is hit things with a hammer, he ain’t gonna lead the crew out of sticky situations. Sure Black Widow and Bruce Banner can figure their way around the computer but one is a devious bitch who you can still shoot in the face and the other is lost at sea and according to the next Thor movie, will be in another planet in a different galaxy so that wont help either. One would think a fortunate girl like Pepper would appreciate Tony for giving her a job title that made her a coffee fetcher into the worlds most successful and powerful woman. A little confidence and support in her man would kinda be appreciated, Pepper, but instead she’s gonna make you work less hours and tear apart The Avengers. Women I tell ya. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.

Movie Technology That Needs To Be Real:  The Self Cooking Hot Dog

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So in Stark’s introduction into the movie, it shows Stark showing off some pretty cool and stylish binary augmented retro-framing sunglasses that apparently hijacks the hippocampus region of the brain to clear traumatic memories in people, we come across a little gem of a technology that the real world needs to invent, and that’s the self cooking hot dog. Now when the dean or principle brings up inventing this type of technology he mentions loading up a hot dog with some sort of chemical detonator but then was rudely cut off from explaining how this genius idea would work. Listen hot dogs are the type of food you don’t want to think about, just eat. Sure in the back of your mind you know its probably made from a pigs asshole and meat sections they would probably feed to zoo animals but you don’t care because it’s delicious. Knowing that, you’re probably okay with eating a little chemical detonator if it means a nice toasty brat ready to eat merely seconds after pulling it from the fridge. No one wants the hassle of turning on a grill or boiling a pot of water just to make a hot dog. Instead, I picture it being like one of those hot emergency hand warmers or like cracking a glow stick to make it glow. I’m sure there’s some science out there that can make it happen and once its found its a million dollar idea. Someone tell Hillshire or Kraft to get this idea to their R&D department asap.

Bonus Round Hot Take: Is Ant-man a member of ISIS or any other terrorist group?

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San Quentin State Prison is a maximum security prison right? Probably a couple or lower level terrorist in there roped up in the same section as Scott Lang. After spending a couple months locked away from the free society I wouldn’t be surprised is Lang converted to radical Islam and got told to carry out orders to destroy those Jesus loving Avengers in the name of Allah even if it means self sacrifice. Doesn’t once think about his family or the legacy he leaves behind before his sarcastic happy going ass decides to turn into Giant Man. Just a reckless move all around. Hydra might’ve been the problems of the 1940’s to 2015 but all that finally got put to end after Sokovia. The next threat on humanity in 2016 is ISIS and I’m not so sure Ant Man isn’t one of them. Screen Shot 2016-05-31 at 7.26.46 PM

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After After Credit Bonus: Peggy Carter/ Hayley Atwell has BOMBS28faa3a9f9066ee978d1033da8c04050 a4e875798556ae25862cd076b5696a05 maxresdefault Screen Shot 2016-05-31 at 7.43.25 PM tumblr_nl2i6fttEK1qaho1po3_250 tumblr_ntao8rZGSw1s6qwwxo1_540

 

 

 

Freedom! Finally Some Decent Internet Speeds!

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21.67 mbps! Do you see that shit??? Fucking kicked that slow ass shit to the curb so we could become a normal part of society! I feel more dialed in then ever but this isn’t the fucking end for me. We strive for more in life. That’s what makes us humans. I’m not gonna stop until i have google fiber and i don’t care if i have to dig up trenches and plug power lines directly into my macbook. And once i get that the next step is to invent extremis from the Iron Man comic books so i can be neuro-pathically linked to all satellite communications like im some Chinese Tony Stark.

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See that shit? Wont stop until this blog is like another limb that i can control with my mind.