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How Salty is Luc Besson That Marvel Movies Rake In Billions While His Movie Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets Was a Box Office Flop And A Bad Movie

NYDN- Steve Rogers is apparently catching some flak for his role as steward of America.

French director Luc Besson, whose latest film “Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets” hit theaters last month, spoke with a Brazilian journalist about an increasingly familiar term in the film industry: superhero fatigue.

Besson lambasted Hollywood’s portrayal of Captain America, saying that the superhero genre always attempts to bolster America’s standing on the world stage.

Besson went as far as to call Captain America “propaganda.”

“I’m totally tired of it, totally. I mean, it was great 10 years ago when we saw the first ‘Spider-Man,’ ‘Iron Man.’ Now it’s like, number five, six, seven,” Besson said. “The superhero is working with another superhero, but it’s not the same family. I’m lost.”

“What bothers me most, is that it’s always here to show the supremacy of America, and how they are great. I mean, which country in the world would have the guts to call a film, ‘Captain Brazil,’ or ‘Captain France?’ I mean, no one. We would be so ashamed and say, ‘No, no, c’mon, we can’t do that.’ They can . They can call it ‘Captain America’ and everybody thinks it’s normal.”

“I’m not here for propaganda, I’m here to tell a story,” Besson continued. “And ‘Valerian’ is another proposal….different, where, you really travel. You meet aliens, a lot. And there are real themes. I mean, Valerian and Laureline are not superheroes, they’re not even heroes. They’re people like you and me. They’re cops, they do their job. But sometimes, they can be heroic. That’s what I love, because I can relate to that. I can’t relate to a superhero, I don’t have superpowers.”

“Valerian,” which holds a 50% on Rotten Tomatoes, underperformed at the box office, earning $90 million off a budget around $180 million. Meanwhile, in its third week, superhero film “Spiderman: Homecoming” earned over $5 million more at the box office than Besson’s film.

Honestly how much is Luc Besson crying that his precious Valerian movie stunk in theaters nationwide while every Marvel movie seems to be a smash hit and makes millions in box office and toy sales around the globe. Seriously way to pick a fight with the largest fucking production studio on the planet. Don’t get me wrong, I can understand someone saying its tired. We’ve hit around close to 41 comic super hero movies since the 2000s and half of which have come in under 10 years and we get about 3 or 4 yearly now. I get it can be tired, but guess what? if it’s good and still makes money, they’re still gonna make them, and we’ll still be entertained. It’s only recently they started cooking up a new method too by making them genre films to reinvent comic book super heros so god knows when kids who share the comic book super hero movie get sick of Spider Man. Sure, the second I hear a 9 year old walk out of Spiderman Homecoming 5 saying “God, this spiderman is so derivitive of the earlier works of previous Spiderman blah blah blah” then I’ll credit Luc Besson for being in on it early but remember these are movies for kids and are entertaining enough for Adults to watch. That’s a sweat money market that I’m okay with.

But besides all of that, Besson’s other takes are just as trash has Valerian. Like, why you gotta diss Captain America like that. I’m sorry a comic book character created in the 40’s in the middle of World War II was created as a symbol of patriotism in a country that entered the war to save allied countries from being over run by a Fascist dictator. Guess what, thats what America did, we along with our allied pals came in and stomped Hitler’s dick. That’s why Captain America is who he is. Because he is the living embodiment of what is right in America and he’s not afraid to call Hitler a fuck face with his super jacked muscles. Listen some guy in Brazil wants to create a comic book character called Captain Brazil go for it. Want to make a Captain France, be my guest. Most likely he would surrender in war so I don’t think that would be the greatest Comic book character but sure go ahead and make one. But blaming Steve Rodgers, a comic book character, for being a character created in the middle of the Second World War as a archetype of the perfect American soldier who selflessly volunteered to enter the war despite being physically capable to do much but wants to because he doesn’t like bullies and because standing up to bad guys was the right thing to do, and was subsequently turned into a billion dollar movie character, is the definition of salty.

Don’t even get me started on him trying to defend Valerian. Is there room for a good, entertaining movie to be in there? Sure. I mean you have all these space things going on, theres detective work, aliens, bad guy twist, sure there could be a good movie there but between Dane Dehaan not being able to lead in a big time studio movies, his actually shitty character, and the useless shit going on in the movie, Valerian stunk. Guy’s making it out to seem like theres some great space voyage movie where you’ll leave with an encyclopedia of alien knowledge after watching this movie. Here’s all it is **Spoilers** aliens got wiped out, Dane Dehaan really wants to fuck Laureline, and then the movie derails into a teen love movie with Dehaan learning about love from a shape shifting Rihanna, and then they figure out who blew up the planet along time ago. You don’t really travel. It’s disguised as travel because they built unrealistic environments that are some how explained because of some mcguffen alien space station. You don’t really see aliens as more than faces on screens, besides the main aliens that are hardly on screen besides the beginning or the end and the shape shifting Rihanna. and I guess you learn a theme of Love, one of the most played out themes in the world. Trash movie. And to say that these are relatable characters. Such a weird concept in movies. Sure making relatable characters are fun. But unless there’s a movie about a Chinese blogger, how the fuck is that suppose to relate to me? Oh Alien space cop, super relatable characters. Super sophisticated super British spy in James Bond, Not relatable. A badass professor of archeology who searches for hidden relics, not relatable. Any person in any action movie ever because they can run more than a mile to save their life, not relatable.  And on the other end of the spectrum, its a fucking movie, guy. If i wanted to see relatable characters that did boring as shit instead of saving the world from Thanos and what ever imminent threat is lurking in the corner, then Id just stay home and watch Animal Planet. I don’t want relatable characters, I want fucking awesome characters doing awesome things. And trust me, Luc, we know you don’t have super powers.

Sidenote- I feel like they don’t even call him specifically “Captain America” much in the movies. Steve, Rodgers, Steve Rodgers, Captain Rodgers, Cap etc. Shits just the title man. And then even at that point, people just refer to the sequels as Civil War or Winter Soldier. Much easier to say that Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets.

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Screen Rant: La La Land *** SPOILERS ***

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For anyone who’s been living under a rock this month, there are 3 movies out there in contention for the Oscars this year; Moonlight, Manchester by the Sea, and La La Land. Well the first thing your boy did Wednesday morning was go peep the last one bright and early. 10:10 am showing with a crowd consisting of a dozen old ladies and handful of teenage girls trying to lose themselves in the gaze of Gosling’s eyes. There was one other guy there in his 30’s that ate a fuck ton of popcorn and kept on clearing his throat when the movie went quiet. No idea why he went to go see it alone like me, but in the off chance you come across another no name blog about this movie by a guy who watched La La Land in a room full of old ladies and one other guy, tell his blog to fuck off and spam his comments with my blog. Appreciate it.

Anyways, I was pretty pleased with the movie over all. Is it more of a gimmick than a true Oscar nom for best picture? Probably, but then again musicals are just one big gimmick really. But as far as today’s modern standards go, I think this movie/musical was pretty good. Not a lot of people think of Gosling as more than a hot face and bod, but people forget that he was a mouseketeer. Singing and dancing like the talented dual threat greats like Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguliera since he was 12. Sure Gosling doesn’t have a great vocal range like Freddie Mercury but for what the movie is, he does fine singing, can definitely tickle the keys, and is a pretty slick dancer as well. Not to mention Gosling’s a pretty funny dude in movies. Its always subtle his humor but since he did The Nice Guys and now La La Land, I would like to see Gosling in some more funnier or lively roles.

As for Emma Stone. I’ve always had a weird thing for Emma. She’s not like classically beautiful or like Instagram model hot, but ever since the Superbad/Easy-A era of Emma Stone, I’ve always wanted to see her in like a leaked celebrity sex tape.  Just seems like a fun gal that has a ton of energy and a freak in the sheets. Always in my top 5 of sex tapes I would want to see ( Don’t worry, it’s not sexist to say because I would totally peep a Gosling sex tape too. Equality). Maybe it’s cause she looks some Lindsay Lohan mixed with a cool attitude normal chick in her movies? Kinda like shes jsut an everyday girl that I went to high school with or something. I don’t know exactly but I buy it and I ended up buying her in this movie. Thought she was good in Birdman but that movie had a flying superhero bird guy speaking to Michael Keaton so I kinda didn’t think much about her, but in this, I thought she was pretty good and a surprising choice for the role. It is kinda weird tho with the age gap between the two but I got over that pretty quick. Both of them are pretty charming on screen and the singing and dancing was simply delightful. I give it an 8.

How Far Have You Gone Out Of Your Way To Try To Hook Up

A little scene that I think got overlooked by all the ladies in the crowd because this isn’t something they have to go through. So the scenario is they meet again at a party after being kinda dicks to each other but she uses him as an exit from talking to some Joe. He casually walks her back to her car that’s miles up a hill. They sing and dance and all that jazz but she has to go. She finds her car and offers him a quick ride to his car, he declines and says his car is just up the way. Next it cuts to him all the way back at the party and his cars right there the whole time. All the grannies in the theater watched like it was no big deal. Pre-teens whispering in theaters “like omg, how come he didn’t kiss her or something?!?!” Ladies, you guys are over looking the fact that he just climbed up Mount Doom just to walk her to her ride and like all other regular guys out there, said we didn’t need a hand even though we coulda been gone hours ago. We did it as a favor to you ladies because we want to have sex with you. Ive done it before and its the worst. “Oh yea no thats right along the way cause I’m gonna go link up with my buddy afterwards.” There was no afterwards. The plan was to stay at home and watch netflix but instead I had to be all chivalrous and drive a girl like 45 minutes away because there’s a slight chance I can feel a boob or something. It’s absurd and I hate all you woman sometimes for not returning the favor sexually. Maybe you girls should stop telling us to read between the lines and take a page out of your own book.

PLAYING AND INSTRUMENT AND THE CULTURAL BRIDGE THAT CAN COME FROM IT

Not gonna lie, if I could go back in time and learn one thing it would be to play and instrument of some sort. There are physical limitations to being an athlete. Sure I would love to be a star QB with a letterman jacket getting all the skimmies hanging by my locker but those skill positions need like a gifted person. You can teach instruments to anyone i think as long as they can eventually learn to read music, and that alone should help you get pussy. Not to mention it just wows the fuck out of anyone. In a crowd of average joes you can play hot cross buns on a bass guitar and you’d look like you were a Julliard grad. Now in Goslings case he went with Piano which was a dope ass choice. Sure being a drummer or an ax man will definitely make you the cool guy, but black dudes jive with Piano, as shown in the movie, and nothing is cooler to a white guy then fitting in with black guys. If you can get a jazz club full of black people moving from tickling the keys and making hot fire tunes in a jazz band you’re probably the coolest white guy in a 100 mile vicinity.

P.s- when i was in 4th grade the instrument of choice I wanted to learn to play was the fucking Clarinet. What a dumb ass pick. Everything I said earlier doesn’t apply for the clarinet and you’re better off with the recorder.

IF I COULD PLAY THE PIANO….

I think my fingers are too fat for piano. Fat and stubby Might as well slam a pack of ball park franks on a classic Steinway & Sons piano and it would make the same tune as me trying to play it. But if I could learn any bit of piano, all I would need to learn to impress anyone in the world, would be the intro piano tune to Roses by Outkast. Smoothest Piano tune ever. Chicks would be flooded. White and black chicks.

IMDB COMMENTERS

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This is the major question floating around. The guy also could’ve moved to Paris to be a musician too. Road goes both ways between the two, but they wanted to achieve their own dreams.

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No one ever walks out of a theater. Seriously. I never buy a single person saying they walked out of the theater. What’s worse is, this guy probably knows that no one would so instead of him saying “I walked out…” he went with “An acquaintance of mine walked out” bull shit. You block off 2 hours to go see a movie and pay the ticket price, you’re gonna sit there and watch it.

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Yo they sing and dance and shit alright. Cute charming couples stuff. You’re vapid.

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Dumb. See, Mia’s character chose her career and barring any real hollywood stereotypes not shown on camera, she successfully loves another dude and has a kid with him in her rich LA home. Just because they share a long intimate look doesn’t mean shes not happy. They shared a special time. It’s the same way I looked at the guy who made my gyro sandwich for a year before I moved out of Orlando. He always means sometime to me because the sandwich was delicious and to him I might’ve been his only customer, but I had to follow my dreams.

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Had to pause and think about this one, and maybe it’s true, but the fact that Megaknocker cares whether or not watching a movie is “art” means they’re an asshole.

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Not gonna lie, I loved the movie and all but once i got in my car they were played Closer by the Chainsmokers and i said to myself, “man that was a hot summer song” and then I forgot about all the songs they sang in the movie.

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That’s what’s missing that would shut up the nay sayers, a musical number about her interactions on social media and if they will or will not involve him. Look, it’s pretty clear they broke up and went their own way. The whole point was to throw themselves into their job, not constantly checking up on each other via twitter and facebook. That’s counter productive to breaking up.

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I don’t want to lapse into a coma.

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Boom roasted.

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Yes, because its a movie and not real life.

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The movie looks dumb. Never was a huge video game guy.

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A Terrence Malick musical would be boring as fuck.

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This might be a pretty bad ringing endorsement of the film. When the person sits for a 2 hour movie and at the end can’t realize what the main characters name is.

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I know right? I need to see what shes like in a sex tape for me to figure her out.

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That’s like hating country music but going to a Tim Mcgraw concert.

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People will think you’re weird but fuck them.

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Boom roasted.

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No chance tgbklyn05 is going to be famous.

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Not gonna lie, those 2 are pretty white.

 

BONUS: IMDB MOVIE FACT

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Who woulda guessed it! I hope there was someone out there who was watching the opening scene and wondered to themself if they’ve seen another movie featuring that bridge and thought, “Oh hey! That’s the same generic ass section of highway that they used to jump a Bus full of passengers with a bomb underneath it!”

Apparently Selena Gomez Walked Out On Biebers Performance Cause She Just Couldn’t Take It.

Selena Gomez, 23, has Bieber fever! HollywoodLife.com spoke to an insider close to the singer who tells us that Selena definitely saw Justin Bieber‘s performance of “Where Are You Now” and “What Do You Mean” even though she wasn’t in the crowd and we can even tell you exactly what she thought about him breaking down into tears at the end! An insider tells HollywoodLife.com exclusively: “She knew going into the night that Justin was both excited and nervous. She’s happy for him and knows he’s relieved that he pulled it off and was true to himself.” This was a huge night for Justin, 21, because it was his first TV performance since he took his hiatus and he had just dropped his new single. We think he totally killed it and we love how Selena actually left the audience as a favor to her ex.

Selena Gomez, 23, has Bieber fever! HollywoodLife.com spoke to an insider close to the singer who tells us that Selena definitely saw Justin Bieber‘s performance of “Where Are You Now” and “What Do You Mean” even though she wasn’t in the crowd and we can even tell you exactly what she thought about him breaking down into tears at the end!
An insider tells HollywoodLife.com exclusively: “She knew going into the night that Justin was both excited and nervous. She’s happy for him and knows he’s relieved that he pulled it off and was true to himself.” This was a huge night for Justin, 21, because it was his first TV performance since he took his hiatus and he had just dropped his new single. We think he totally killed it and we love how Selena actually left the audience as a favor to her ex.

By far one of the most entertaining story lines that exist in Hollywood is Selena Gomez and her god damn emotional vagina every time she’s at an award show that Biebers at. I don’t like care about what ever the fuck the Biebs does on his own time. Kids a fucking annoyingly rich pop star with chicks gripping for dear life at his balls. And here’s Selena just grasping for Hollywood fame fake friending Taylor swift just so the cameras not only on her to see how she’ll melt down at the Bieber performance. Its really sad but i love it. To think that she’s so god damn bananas for him she can’t see him on stage singing a song she thinks is about her. When ever the next music award show comes around, keep your eyes peeled looking for Selena when biebers on stage because her face is gonna be that of love/hate/desire/yearning/embarrassment because shes flooding a public place from her orgasm just looking at biebs.

 

VMA side note- Demi lovato. Whats up with that? I hardly know a thing about her but her outfit during the VMA performance reminded me of Sindel from Mortal Kombat and then it got weird in my brain sexually.

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Does This Look Like The Face Of A Kid Who wants To Look LIke Channing Tatum So Much that he Burned a Hole in his Throat from Teeth Whiting Products? NSFW

Source- A young man who was desperate to transform himself into Hollywood heartthrob Channing Tatum without ditching his ten cigarettes a day habit was left with a hole through his throat - from a tooth whitening kit. Jake Barrett, 22, almost died from a severe allergic reaction to the £65 Crest 1hr Express strips he had bough online. The young man from Rushton in Northamptonshire was left with a bulging sac of peroxide bleach under his tongue, which, had it burst, would have killed him. Her said: "The doctor told me that the sac that had formed was the size of a grape, and so delicate that any moment it could have leaked hydrogen peroxide down my throat. "If that had happened, I would have got peroxide poisoning and died." Jake said he noticed the lump just 48 hours after applying the strips, but at first dismissed it. He said: "I wasn't sure what the liquid was, or why it had formed, but I assumed I would be OK and that the penicillin I was taking for something else would treat that, too. He was rushed to Northampton Hospital for an emergency three-hour operation to drain the sac via a tube inserted through an incision in his chin. He also had one of his back teeth removed, because it had become infected with peroxide, and after ten days in hospital, was finally allowed home. Now, Jake, who smokes 10 cigarettes and drinks six coffees a day says he will avoid DIY beauty products, but will not give up his dreams of having a Hollywood smile. Last month he splashed out £100 for professional laser teeth-whitening at a local beauty salon. He said: "I've always admired Channing Tatum's smile - it's just gleaming. "DIY beauty treatments are a complete hazard - I had no idea what was in the products or how to use them properly and the consequence was terrifying. "Now, I feel lucky to be alive. "I've got my gleaming teeth - now I just need to work on my six-pack." Crest's parent company, Proctor and Gamble, have said they are aware of the incident and are investigating.

Source- A young man who was desperate to transform himself into Hollywood heartthrob Channing Tatum without ditching his ten cigarettes a day habit was left with a hole through his throat – from a tooth whitening kit.
Jake Barrett, 22, almost died from a severe allergic reaction to the £65 Crest 1hr Express strips he had bough online.
The young man from Rushton in Northamptonshire was left with a bulging sac of peroxide bleach under his tongue, which, had it burst, would have killed him.
Her said: “The doctor told me that the sac that had formed was the size of a grape, and so delicate that any moment it could have leaked hydrogen peroxide down my throat.
“If that had happened, I would have got peroxide poisoning and died.”
Jake said he noticed the lump just 48 hours after applying the strips, but at first dismissed it.
He said: “I wasn’t sure what the liquid was, or why it had formed, but I assumed I would be OK and that the penicillin I was taking for something else would treat that, too.
He was rushed to Northampton Hospital for an emergency three-hour operation to drain the sac via a tube inserted through an incision in his chin.
He also had one of his back teeth removed, because it had become infected with peroxide, and after ten days in hospital, was finally allowed home.
Now, Jake, who smokes 10 cigarettes and drinks six coffees a day says he will avoid DIY beauty products, but will not give up his dreams of having a Hollywood smile.
Last month he splashed out £100 for professional laser teeth-whitening at a local beauty salon.
He said: “I’ve always admired Channing Tatum’s smile – it’s just gleaming.
“DIY beauty treatments are a complete hazard – I had no idea what was in the products or how to use them properly and the consequence was terrifying.
“Now, I feel lucky to be alive.
“I’ve got my gleaming teeth – now I just need to work on my six-pack.”
Crest’s parent company, Proctor and Gamble, have said they are aware of the incident and are investigating.

PAY-Jakes-surgery-scars

 

Hey Kid who desperately wants to look like Channing Tatum, you know what Channing Tatum doesnt have? A gaping hole in his throat.  You should focus on the 6 pack, the height, the hair, the jaw line and the look of “o have almost nothing going on in my brain right now but want to slay tons of chicks and make funny movies”. Listen the dude slays it but his teeth arent even like a thing. I mean one google search of him and no picture pops up with his teeth showing.

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Its actually quite baffling that none all of those photos dont have his teeth showing. But then again dude’s known for his body. Teeth are last of his worries because of hollywood life. All you need to do is get veneers. One quick fix. If you think hollywood actors are strolling through walgreens and getting a pack of white stripes like commoners pick up a pack of condoms you’re crazy. You wanna look like the hollywood actor then act like one. Hair products and movie abs. Veneers and raw dog pulling out = hollywood. And dont get chemically burned holes through your throat.