Tag Archives: Emma Stone

The Far From Comprehensive Break Down Of The 2017 Golden Globes

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Award season is finally upon us. It’s the playoffs for cinema and we’re about to come into the 1st divisional round when it comes to film awards, The Golden Globes. The precursor to determine which film will most likely come away with the grand daddy of awards, the Oscars. We’re more than likely to get a bunch of “The Award Shows are so white washed!” Well luckily for you guys, I’m not white, I’m Asian, a race that’s equally as disparaged when it comes to taking home the glory in the arts of cinema. But what I also am, is equal (false, Im massively biased), and here today I’m gonna give you guys my predictions for who rightfully deserves to take home the hardware….Even though I’ve only seen like 2 of the films…. Oh and I’m not picking every category, only the ones that actually matter.

Best Motion Picture, Drama

  • Hacksaw Ridge
  • Hell or High Water
  • Lion
  • Manchester by the Sea
  • Moonlight

Not gonna lie, I was BAFFLED when I saw Hacksaw Ridge on the list. Never saw the movie but I just thought Andrew Garfield’s accent was too absurd. Didn’t come off natural. Based on the accent alone from the trailer i dont think it warrants an 8.5 on IMDB but maybe Mel Gibson shines through as a director. Hell or High Water and Lion, both probably the lower of the 5 rated films so cross those off the list. Which leaves Manchester by the Sea and Moonlight. Now Manchester by the Sea I think I’m gonna squeeze in tomorrow just to lock down my picks, but as for Best Motion Picture Drama, I’m gonna say Moonlight takes it. Some stark looking drama about a black teen growing up in the heart of Miami during the drug war era and dealing with the sort of teen angst that comes from that area. Maybe its a homer pick, being based in Miami, but I think they might pick it cause It honestly is probably the most dramatic of the bunch all around, but also because they probably don’t want to be scrutinized as racist white Aryans.

Best Motion Picture, Musical, or Comedy

  • 20th Century Women
  • Deadpool
  • Florence Foster Jenkins
  • La La Land
  • Sing Street

I’m gonna make this very clear. It’s La La Land. You Know it, I know it. Vegas knows it at -5000. Of the group I only saw 2 of these, La La Land and Deadpool. I refuse to believe Deadpool will win, mostly because I thought the movie was  so average and over rated, but because La La Land was absolutely delightful. If i had to pick a dark horse it would maybe go to Florence Foster Jenkins just because of the cast? But I’m pretty sure La La Land will come away with it. One of the most critisized review i heard of about it was that it was like The Artist, which that home took home the Oscar for best flick. Do think it’s crazy to loop Musical with comedy but regardless, La La Land. Can’t wait to see the suit Gosling comes in. Im guessing blue suit, black lapel.

Best Performance By an Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama

  • Amy Adams, Arrival
  • Jessica Chastain, Miss Sloane
  • Isabelle Huppert, Elle
  • Ruth Negga, Loving
  • Natalie Portman, Jackie

Lol I don’t know what any of these movies are. Kinda hard not to go with the chalk here. It’s gonna be Natalie Portman for Jackie. Don’t think many other movies are making much noise and as much as I would like to think every judge watches every thing that becomes nominated and taken every film and performance into consideration, they don’t. And in the end, this isn’t about the film, its about the Actress in the film and their performance.  Natty P takes it and adds to her list of fancy accolades.

Best Performance By an Actress in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy

  • Annette Bening, 20th Century Women
  • Lily Collins, Rules Don’t Apply
  • Hailee Steinfeld, The Edge of Seventeen
  • Emma Stone, La La Land
  • Meryl Streep, Florence Foster Jenkins

When it comes to awards, kinda hard to pick the best picture so and so, and not have the main actor or actress accompany it if they’re nominated. But also kinda weird to say Emma Stone won a golden globe and possibly win an Oscar. I mean if the shoe fits it fits and right now Emma Stone’s the favorite at -600 on Bovada. Might change her perception to me as the normal teen chick of Hollywood. The only other logical pick would be Meryl Streep because of her name and clout but even she isn’t even the next favorite, instead it’s Annette Bening for 20th Century Women. Don’t trust that pick so for now I’m just gonna roll with Stone.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama

  • Casey Affleck, Manchester by the Sea
  • Joel Edgerton, Loving
  • Andrew Garfield, Hacksaw Ridge
  • Viggo Mortensen, Captain Fantastic
  • Denzel Washington, Fences

Again, I get blown away by the fact that Andrew Garfield is on this list for a Mel Gibson movie with his stereotypical southern drawl, maybe next year for Silence but I doubt this year is his year. Also kinda hard to argue that it isn’t Casey Affleck’s year. That’s all everyone’s talking about is Manchester by the Sea this Manchester by the Sea that. Hope i go and squeeze it in tomorrow and i hope it blows just because i love to be contrarian but as for now it seems the loser brother of the Affleck family finally gets his shine. Dark horse pick though would be Denzel because Denzel is a bad ass and Fences looks pretty good, I just don’t like the name. Still picking Affleck though.

Best Director, Motion Picture

  • Damien Chazelle, La La Land
  • Tom Ford, Nocturnal Animals
  • Mel Gibson, Hacksaw Ridge
  • Barry Jenkins, Moonlight
  • Kenneth Lonergan, Manchester by the Sea

No idea who the favorite is because they didn’t list their odds on Bovada. And between the 3 main picks I had in mind this is what my friend had to say.screen-shot-2017-01-07-at-2-29-59-pmThat’s film analysis from a student attending the prestigious Ivy League Columbia University for film. The upper echelon of academia giving their most knowledgeable opinion.   So here’s where I’m gonna have to blindly shoot from the hip/ not google any of the odds. Tom Ford is a fashion guy and I hate that just because of his fashionista artsy eye he dabbled into film. I didn’t see his 1st film and i didn’t see this one but over rated. Cross him off. Mel Gibson and hacksaw ridge? next. Manchester by the Sea has to be in contention just because it’s one of the main 3 talked about film of this whole race but it’s not gonna be the one. It’s between Barry Jenkins and Damien Chazelle, and my pick is Chazelle for La La Land. Critics loved his shit last year for Whiplash, this year he takes one for La La Land.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical, or Comedy

  • Colin Farrell, The Lobster
  • Ryan Gosling, La La Land
  • Hugh Grant, Florence Foster Jenkins
  • Jonah Hill, War Dogs
  • Ryan Reynolds, Deadpool

Gosling fucking dances his dick off in La La Land. NEXT

Best Screenplay, Motion Picture

  • La La Land
  • Nocturnal Animals
  • Moonlight
  • Manchester by the Sea
  • Hell or High Water

No real clue which one will take it here. This feels like an award that you kinda have to watch the movie in order to really judge. It’s not about the star power or performance of an actor or actress. Honestly i can see any of the 5 in the field take away best screen play mostly because i can’t really give an answer so based on that I’m gonna say Nocturnal Animals or Hell or High Water. That way if you do bet it and they win, you get a huge ass pay out.

Best Motion Picture, Animated

  • Kubo and the Two Strings
  • Moana
  • My Life as a Zucchini
  • Sing
  • Zootopia

My Life as a Zucchini? What the fuck was that? Sing, kind of a late round addition i feel like since it wasn’t that big of a deal. Kubo and the Two Strings, I literally didn’t hear a single thing about it. Can’t tell you if its good or bad. Now Zootopia on the other hand was a smash hit and it also has my girl Shakira in it. Now normally that would just solidify my pick but I’m gonna go with Moana here. First off  The Rock’s baby mama is my neighbor so if they win maybe I can say congrats to Dwayne as he picks up his daughter to fly out to the red carpet. But other than that, Lin Manuel Miranda is all famous all over Hollywood for Hamilton. He’s basking in the lime light now just cleaning up in fame. Gotta go with Moana.

p.s- If Shakira walked into my room, morphed into a Gazelle and was like “Baby I want you so bad”….you bet your ass i would.

Best Television Series, Drama

  • The Crown
  • Game of Thrones
  • Stranger Things
  • This Is Us
  • Westworld

Last on my list of awards I care about. Now it doesn’t really fall in line with the genre of Drama but you bet your ass I’m going with Stranger Things. More likely than not it’ll go to something like The Crown but fuck that. Stranger Things was the best thing on TV. Just never felt a wide range of emotions and still enjoyed watching a show so much. So I dare them. I dare these white washed old people who pick the winners try to stare 5 kids in the eye who acted their metaphorical dicks off (cause one if a girl) in one of the worlds favorite tv show of 2016 and tell them they’re not the winner. I dare them.

 

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Screen Rant: La La Land *** SPOILERS ***

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For anyone who’s been living under a rock this month, there are 3 movies out there in contention for the Oscars this year; Moonlight, Manchester by the Sea, and La La Land. Well the first thing your boy did Wednesday morning was go peep the last one bright and early. 10:10 am showing with a crowd consisting of a dozen old ladies and handful of teenage girls trying to lose themselves in the gaze of Gosling’s eyes. There was one other guy there in his 30’s that ate a fuck ton of popcorn and kept on clearing his throat when the movie went quiet. No idea why he went to go see it alone like me, but in the off chance you come across another no name blog about this movie by a guy who watched La La Land in a room full of old ladies and one other guy, tell his blog to fuck off and spam his comments with my blog. Appreciate it.

Anyways, I was pretty pleased with the movie over all. Is it more of a gimmick than a true Oscar nom for best picture? Probably, but then again musicals are just one big gimmick really. But as far as today’s modern standards go, I think this movie/musical was pretty good. Not a lot of people think of Gosling as more than a hot face and bod, but people forget that he was a mouseketeer. Singing and dancing like the talented dual threat greats like Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguliera since he was 12. Sure Gosling doesn’t have a great vocal range like Freddie Mercury but for what the movie is, he does fine singing, can definitely tickle the keys, and is a pretty slick dancer as well. Not to mention Gosling’s a pretty funny dude in movies. Its always subtle his humor but since he did The Nice Guys and now La La Land, I would like to see Gosling in some more funnier or lively roles.

As for Emma Stone. I’ve always had a weird thing for Emma. She’s not like classically beautiful or like Instagram model hot, but ever since the Superbad/Easy-A era of Emma Stone, I’ve always wanted to see her in like a leaked celebrity sex tape.  Just seems like a fun gal that has a ton of energy and a freak in the sheets. Always in my top 5 of sex tapes I would want to see ( Don’t worry, it’s not sexist to say because I would totally peep a Gosling sex tape too. Equality). Maybe it’s cause she looks some Lindsay Lohan mixed with a cool attitude normal chick in her movies? Kinda like shes jsut an everyday girl that I went to high school with or something. I don’t know exactly but I buy it and I ended up buying her in this movie. Thought she was good in Birdman but that movie had a flying superhero bird guy speaking to Michael Keaton so I kinda didn’t think much about her, but in this, I thought she was pretty good and a surprising choice for the role. It is kinda weird tho with the age gap between the two but I got over that pretty quick. Both of them are pretty charming on screen and the singing and dancing was simply delightful. I give it an 8.

How Far Have You Gone Out Of Your Way To Try To Hook Up

A little scene that I think got overlooked by all the ladies in the crowd because this isn’t something they have to go through. So the scenario is they meet again at a party after being kinda dicks to each other but she uses him as an exit from talking to some Joe. He casually walks her back to her car that’s miles up a hill. They sing and dance and all that jazz but she has to go. She finds her car and offers him a quick ride to his car, he declines and says his car is just up the way. Next it cuts to him all the way back at the party and his cars right there the whole time. All the grannies in the theater watched like it was no big deal. Pre-teens whispering in theaters “like omg, how come he didn’t kiss her or something?!?!” Ladies, you guys are over looking the fact that he just climbed up Mount Doom just to walk her to her ride and like all other regular guys out there, said we didn’t need a hand even though we coulda been gone hours ago. We did it as a favor to you ladies because we want to have sex with you. Ive done it before and its the worst. “Oh yea no thats right along the way cause I’m gonna go link up with my buddy afterwards.” There was no afterwards. The plan was to stay at home and watch netflix but instead I had to be all chivalrous and drive a girl like 45 minutes away because there’s a slight chance I can feel a boob or something. It’s absurd and I hate all you woman sometimes for not returning the favor sexually. Maybe you girls should stop telling us to read between the lines and take a page out of your own book.

PLAYING AND INSTRUMENT AND THE CULTURAL BRIDGE THAT CAN COME FROM IT

Not gonna lie, if I could go back in time and learn one thing it would be to play and instrument of some sort. There are physical limitations to being an athlete. Sure I would love to be a star QB with a letterman jacket getting all the skimmies hanging by my locker but those skill positions need like a gifted person. You can teach instruments to anyone i think as long as they can eventually learn to read music, and that alone should help you get pussy. Not to mention it just wows the fuck out of anyone. In a crowd of average joes you can play hot cross buns on a bass guitar and you’d look like you were a Julliard grad. Now in Goslings case he went with Piano which was a dope ass choice. Sure being a drummer or an ax man will definitely make you the cool guy, but black dudes jive with Piano, as shown in the movie, and nothing is cooler to a white guy then fitting in with black guys. If you can get a jazz club full of black people moving from tickling the keys and making hot fire tunes in a jazz band you’re probably the coolest white guy in a 100 mile vicinity.

P.s- when i was in 4th grade the instrument of choice I wanted to learn to play was the fucking Clarinet. What a dumb ass pick. Everything I said earlier doesn’t apply for the clarinet and you’re better off with the recorder.

IF I COULD PLAY THE PIANO….

I think my fingers are too fat for piano. Fat and stubby Might as well slam a pack of ball park franks on a classic Steinway & Sons piano and it would make the same tune as me trying to play it. But if I could learn any bit of piano, all I would need to learn to impress anyone in the world, would be the intro piano tune to Roses by Outkast. Smoothest Piano tune ever. Chicks would be flooded. White and black chicks.

IMDB COMMENTERS

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This is the major question floating around. The guy also could’ve moved to Paris to be a musician too. Road goes both ways between the two, but they wanted to achieve their own dreams.

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No one ever walks out of a theater. Seriously. I never buy a single person saying they walked out of the theater. What’s worse is, this guy probably knows that no one would so instead of him saying “I walked out…” he went with “An acquaintance of mine walked out” bull shit. You block off 2 hours to go see a movie and pay the ticket price, you’re gonna sit there and watch it.

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Yo they sing and dance and shit alright. Cute charming couples stuff. You’re vapid.

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Dumb. See, Mia’s character chose her career and barring any real hollywood stereotypes not shown on camera, she successfully loves another dude and has a kid with him in her rich LA home. Just because they share a long intimate look doesn’t mean shes not happy. They shared a special time. It’s the same way I looked at the guy who made my gyro sandwich for a year before I moved out of Orlando. He always means sometime to me because the sandwich was delicious and to him I might’ve been his only customer, but I had to follow my dreams.

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Had to pause and think about this one, and maybe it’s true, but the fact that Megaknocker cares whether or not watching a movie is “art” means they’re an asshole.

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Not gonna lie, I loved the movie and all but once i got in my car they were played Closer by the Chainsmokers and i said to myself, “man that was a hot summer song” and then I forgot about all the songs they sang in the movie.

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That’s what’s missing that would shut up the nay sayers, a musical number about her interactions on social media and if they will or will not involve him. Look, it’s pretty clear they broke up and went their own way. The whole point was to throw themselves into their job, not constantly checking up on each other via twitter and facebook. That’s counter productive to breaking up.

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I don’t want to lapse into a coma.

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Boom roasted.

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Yes, because its a movie and not real life.

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The movie looks dumb. Never was a huge video game guy.

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A Terrence Malick musical would be boring as fuck.

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This might be a pretty bad ringing endorsement of the film. When the person sits for a 2 hour movie and at the end can’t realize what the main characters name is.

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I know right? I need to see what shes like in a sex tape for me to figure her out.

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That’s like hating country music but going to a Tim Mcgraw concert.

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People will think you’re weird but fuck them.

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Boom roasted.

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No chance tgbklyn05 is going to be famous.

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Not gonna lie, those 2 are pretty white.

 

BONUS: IMDB MOVIE FACT

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Who woulda guessed it! I hope there was someone out there who was watching the opening scene and wondered to themself if they’ve seen another movie featuring that bridge and thought, “Oh hey! That’s the same generic ass section of highway that they used to jump a Bus full of passengers with a bomb underneath it!”